Becoming A Vegetarian
by ValGal95
Summary: Newborn Bella hates the monster she has become. When she meets the Cullen family, they graciously offer her shelter and help. With the Cullens as her guide, Bella embarks on the difficult journey of becoming a vegetarian. Will she also find true love? AU.
1. Prologue: Reflections

**Hey! Okay, so this is my second attempt at fanfiction, but my first vamp fic. I holp I did well on the first chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. **

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_A lot of life is dealing with your curse, dealing with the cards you were given that aren't so nice. Does it make you into a monster, or can you temper it in some way, or accept it and go in some other direction?__  
~Wes Craven_

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**Prologue **

Everybody sees something different when they gaze into their reflection. Even identical twins have some physical differences, albeit small ones. So it begs the questions: what do I see when I look at my reflection?

Answer: I see a monster.

Physically, I'm perfect. No, I'm not arrogant or vain. I'm simply telling you the truth.

I am perfect.

Wavy, almost straight, dark brown hair surrounds my heart-shaped face and runs down to my chest. I have extremely pale skin, but somehow the paleness compliments my soft features. My lips are full and blood red. My teeth are a pearly white. I have a flawless nose, perfectly arched eyebrows, a wide forehead, prominent cheekbones, and a slightly pointed chin.

I am perfect.

When you look at me, you see an…angel. That's what I look like. A gorgeous, young,_ innocent_ girl. From my heart-shaped face to my beautiful smile, you immediately label me as a sweet, kind girl. But have you ever heard the expression don't judge a book by its cover? Or beauty is only skin deep? How about looks like a butterfly, stings like a bee? I smile sardonically into the small stream I'm staring into. Yes, you would never expect that behind my pretty face lies a monster. I grin even bigger, showing my razor-sharp, white teeth. I can see the hint of my fangs. Oh? I didn't mention my fangs? My bad, it completely slipped my mind. Yes, I have fangs. But don't worry, they are really subtle. You can only see them if you look really closely. And trust me, you don't want to get close to me.

Another small, tiny thing I forgot to mention—my eyes. Now you would assume that since I have brown hair, I would also have brown eyes, or maybe even blue eyes. Green eyes? Possible. But neither is the case. I have deep, bright red eyes.

So when you see me, don't look at my inviting, enticing smile or even my innocent, soft face. Look instead at my fangs, ready to sink into to your neck. Look instead at my red eyes, burning with hunger—hunger for your blood.

Have you've figured it out yet? I told you I'm a monster, but do you know what type of monster I am now?

I am a vampire.

I place my pale, smooth hand into the slow-moving stream. It's the middle of winter, so you would expect the water to be freezing cold. Yet I feel nothing. I don't feel the cold. I draw circles in the water with the tip of my pointer finger before I angrily splash away my _perfect _reflection and turn away in disgust. I stand up from the forest floor and brush off leaves and twigs from my body. Oh yes, the stream only showed the reflection of my face, not my body. Well go on, go ahead and guess. If you had to describe my body in one word, what would it be?

Yes, my body is…perfect.

I have a long, graceful neck, rounded shoulders, muscular arms, round and perky breasts, a smooth, flat stomach, flawless hips, and well-defined legs. Currently I am wearing tight, dark-washed skinny jeans, a pink tank top, a small, brown, hoodie jacket that is zipped up half-way, and black converse sneakers. Dressed like any normal seventeen year-old, huh? Well yeah, if you look past the dirty jeans, ruined sneakers, muddy tank-top, and the brown jacket with its sleeves ripped off. Oh, and I'm not wearing any mittens or a scarf or a hat even though it's lower than 20 degrees Fahrenheit. If you weren't paying attention earlier, I can't feel the cold. I'm an unfeeling monster. Am I proud of it? Hell no. I want to die. I tried killing myself already, but apparently I'm indestructible. Figures.

I look around at my surroundings. I have—yes, you guessed it—perfect vision. I can see everything. Before, I had twenty/twenty vision. Essentially perfect…for a human. But now? I can see millions of times better. Everything is clear now.

I am in the woods…somewhere. I don't know where I am, actually. I shrug. Who cares? All I know is that this is my life now. I'm going to live in these woods. Huge, towering trees are all around me, their branches blocking the view of the sky, but if I had to guess, I'll bet that it is late in the afternoon. The trees are leafless and bare. Dirt, twigs, and little insects make the forest floor. This is my home, I decide, nodding in approval. I listen carefully. I can hear little bugs crawling everywhere, birds chirping in the distance, the swaying of the branches in the harsh wind.

I sigh. Besides the icky bugs, I am alone. I bite my lip. But this is good, I remind myself. I can't have company. I can't have anyone near me or I won't be able to stop myself from killing him or her. I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jacket and rock back and forth on my heels. Dammit. I've been here for no more than twenty minutes and I'm already bored. I purse my lips. I guess I can run around a little bit. Yeah, I should get to know my home more.

With that decided, I begin running. I go at a human-pace. I know I can go faster, a lot faster, but the less I use my monster-powers the better. So after jogging north for two miles, trying to enjoy the passing scenery, I hear it.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The unmistakable sound of a human's heartbeat.

I gasp in surprise which is a big, big mistake. That's when I smell it. Blood. Tantalizing, rich, enticing blood. I immediately stop breathing, but that just serves to heighten my other senses. I can hear him breathe in and out. I can hear him walk towards the place I'm standing. I can hear his heart pumping out blood. Red, alluring, beckoning, mouthwatering blood.

Against my wishes, venom pools into my mouth and I instinctively crouch. Without conscious thought, I sniff the air. The smell is so strong and close, I can practically feel the rich texture of the blood sliding down my throat. I gather that he is no more than a mile away from me.

My throat feels like it's on fire. I feel something deep in my chest and with some surprise, I realize that I am growling. I cover my mouth with my hand in shock and straighten from my crouch. I take a step backwards, horrified with myself. I was just about to kill an innocent human. He could have a family, a wife, a kid, a career, and I was this close to murdering him. I shake my head in disgust and take another step backwards. But I can still hear him walking in my direction. And with each step he takes, the more I lose myself in the addicting scent of his blood.

I am so hungry. So so hungry. Surely just a little taste wouldn't hurt, right? I groan with frustration when I realize that I'm crouching on the ground again. I grind my teeth together and close my eyes. I desperately scratch at my throat. It feels like its burning. It literally causes me such crippling pain to resist. I'm fighting against all my instincts, against the monster I really am_. _

_I'm so hungry._

But I have to resist. I have to. I can't murder an innocent man! The guilt and remorse I would feel afterwards would be millions of times worse than the pain I feel now. In my head, I quickly concentrate on making a list of all the reasons why I shouldn't kill this unlucky man. But the foolish man keeps walking towards me, not knowing that he is walking straight towards death. And, as if it happens in slow motion, I hear him trip over a stray log.

I listen to him fall down and hit the ground with a thud. The sound of his head connecting with a boulder thunders in my ears. The contact immediately causes blood to pour out from his new cut. Just a drop of blood oozes out, but that's all it takes for me to take off in his direction. Gone is reason. Gone is logic. Gone is my list of reasons to not kill the guy. The only thing left is the smell of his blood.

He. Is. Mine.

I growl as I run full-speed towards my new food. I am a predator and this man is about to be my prey. In a blink of an eye, I see him. He's groaning on the ground, clutching his head in pain. I unconsciously lick my lips as I get closer and closer to him. All I see is red. All I hear is the thump thump of his heart. All I think about is my teeth slicing through his weak, fragile neck.

I'm ten feet away from him now. He still hasn't seen me, but that is about to change. I crouch low to the ground, and then I pounce. I am half-way there when someone crashes into me. As he tackles me the ground, I am aware of one thing.

Another vampire has found me.

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**There you go! I hope you liked it. And I know it's not long, but it's just the intro. The next chapter is a lot longer. Review and get a sneak peek at the next chapter! Tell me where you want the story to go and any ideas you have. And ooh who do you think is the other vampire? **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie **


	2. Kill Me?

**Okay guys, here is Chapter 2! But first a big thank you to my reviewers—TeamRobsten, xXbeautifulIllusionsXx, HeyThereBuddy, Jits, writingnut2010, Twilighter930, Sweetie7smiled, EnyaCullen4Ever, ITsKillinME, and aleki98. Anyway, enjoy!**

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_Is it hard for the reader to believe that suicides are sometimes committed to forestall the committing of murder? There is no doubt of it._  
-Karl Menninger

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**Saturday, January 14****th**** 7:00 P.M.**

The vampire tackles me the ground. A sound as loud and ferocious as thunder echoes in the dark forest as we land on a pile of dirt and ferns. I growl and instinctively bare my sharp teeth at my attacker. He snarls back as he gathers my hands in his and begins to drag me through the forest floor. I struggle, I growl, I snarl. How dare he! He's trying to steal my food! I wriggle and thrash, trying to escape him, but his grip stays strong and sure as he runs top-speed in the opposite direction of the food. The whole ordeal only takes less than ten seconds, but by the time we stop—or rather, he stops dragging me—we are at least two miles away from the bleeding human. Fortunately we are far enough away that the scent of his fallen blood can no longer cloud my judgment. I can now only barely hear the human's heartbeat.

I bite my lip as the reality of what I was about to do sunk in. I flinch, disgusted with myself, and I curl into a broken ball on the forest floor, defeated and horrified.

I am a monster.

"I'm sorry that I had to do that, but I couldn't allow you to kill that man," my captor says in a surprisingly gentle voice.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion before I grasp the fact that my captor was not trying to steal the man from me, but instead, he just wanted to stop me from killing the fragile human. "Thank you," I whisper with every ounce of gratefulness and sincerity I have. My voice comes out weak and hoarse. I haven't spoken in weeks. I cringe at the sound. The voice was soft, musical and…unnatural.

"Thank you?" he repeats, sounding confused.

Still staring at the ground, I realize that the vampire did not know what he just did. "You just saved me from a grave mistake…I…I am in debt to you."

The man clears his throat awkwardly. "That's not necessary, I was just—" He stops short when we both catch the distinct scent in the air that only belonged to one species—vampires.

I sit up, confused. How many vampires are in these woods?

It takes two seconds for them to reach us and step into view. The three new arrivals stand twenty feet away from us, but I can see them as clearly as if they were right in front of me. They also see me. I growl as I stand up and move into a defensive position. I don't know if any of these vampires are friendly or not. I cautiously study them.

First, I concentrate on my captor. With no surprise, I see that he is inhumanly beautiful. He can be a model…you know, if people were into vampire-models. He is slender yet muscular and has perfectly straight, blond hair. Most shocking of all, though, is the fact that he has…golden eyes? I widen my own eyes. Impossible! He's a vampire, right? Yes, he has inhuman looks, speed, and strength. His skin is pale and cold. He can't be human, so he has to be a vampire. And then I nod to myself as I come to the only sensible conclusion. He has contacts on. Yes, that makes sense. Under the contacts he surely has red eyes.

Satisfied with my explanation, I move my stare to one of the new arrivals. This one has dark brown, curly hair. I notice that his eyes are also a bright gold color. He's tall, burly, and has broad shoulders and massive muscles. If he was human, I would have guessed that he was taking steroids.

Slightly intimidated by his size, I turn to the male standing next to him. This one also has honey blond hair to match his, yes, honey gold eyes. Yet his hair is waver and longer than my attacker's. He is tall, muscular, and lean. Perplexingly, he has crescent-shaped scars running along his arms, giving him a dangerous and threatening appearance.

The last arrival is lanky and slender yet still clearly muscular. He has disheveled, bronze-colored hair and topaz eyes. If I had to choose, I would have to say that he is the most handsome out of the group of vampires. However, unlike the others, this male has a mask of horror etched on his face as he looks at me. When he catches my stare, he immediately turns his face towards the ground. Weird.

I see the two others take in my defensive crouch warily before they glance at my captor. I feel a flash of irritation when I realize that they are not scared of me. Though, it's probably because I am strongly out-numbered. But if they attack me, I vow to take at least one of them down with me. I snarl loudly in warning as they approach me, but then I gather something. So what? So what if they attack and eventually kill me? _This is what I want._ I want to die. I smile as I relax my crouch and stand straight. Yes, finally. Surely these four strong vampires are capable of killing little 'ole me.

"Edward, Jasper, Emmett," my captor greets each of the men with a nod of his head.

I wrinkle my forehead. He knew them?

"Carlisle?" The man with the scars my attacker identified as Jasper asks, his expression guarded. "Who is your friend?"

My captor—Carlisle—turns to stare at me. I notice something that I hadn't before. Yes, his eyes are golden, but they are also filled with warmth and gentleness. I shake my head. I start thinking that I'm dreaming. He is a vampire. He is a monster. Monsters don't look as kind and compassionate as Carlisle seems to be. Yet, I think with some chagrin, I can't sleep, so how can I dream? But that is the only theory I can come up with.

Really, how is it that I've gone weeks without seeing a vampire and all of a sudden I am in the presence of four of them? And how is it that none of them are snarling with glee as they rip my limbs apart? Sure, they look like they are capable of killing me, but no one makes a move to do so. They are not angry, simply curious and just a little bit cautious. They look at Carlisle for some answers and I come to a realization. With the way they are staring at Carlisle with trust in their eyes, it seems to me that this Carlisle person is their leader. And since he is not fighting or showing any signs of hostility towards me, the others assume that I am no enemy of theirs.

"I don't know exactly. I found her hunting…a human," Carlisle responds hesitantly.

Emmett—the burly one—and Jasper growl in reply, which puzzles me. Why are they offended at the idea of hunting humans? They are vampires. Surely they hunt humans, too.

"Look," Emmett starts, glaring at me as he flexes his impressive biceps. "We can't stop you from hunting humans, but this is our territory. If you want to hunt, do it somewhere else."

Ah, that explains why they are angry. They thought _I_ was taking _their _food. "I'm sorry," I say quietly, talking to Carlisle, who seems to be the kindest one. "But it was not my intent to hunt the man at all. The smell of his blood..." I shudder, the memory of the sweet scent coming back to me, making my eyes darken dangerously. I was so close…I shake my head, clearing my murderous, hungry thoughts. I could not live with myself if I were to kill a human, I have to remember that.

"I—" I attempt to continue, but just then, a powerful wind moves through the forest. I crouch as the wind carries the scent of the human to me. The smell of his blood is strong, stronger than before. He must have bled even more, I realize with a start. I feel a deep growl emanatingfrom my chest as I imagine the pool of red blood lying on the forest floor, fresh and ready for my drinking. The image beckons me, calls for me to take what is mine. I sink to the floor as I fight a useless battle. Useless because I know that despite my unwillingness, the monster in me is slowly but surely coming alive, overpowering my conscious and will.

I begin crawling desperately. It is inevitable that the monster will take over, but I still have a few seconds left. I can't just give in. I have to fight. So I crawl, like the weak creature I am, towards Emmett. Out of all of them, he seems to be the strongest. I clutch at his pants pathetically as I stare into his bewildered gaze.

"Help me," I beg urgently. "Please…don't let me…"

His expression softens as he lowers himself so that he is on the ground with me. He puts his strong hands around my waist, restraining me. "Don't worry, you aren't going anywhere," he promises, his voice gentle yet firm. I nod gratefully. He and Carlisle seem so kind. It bewilders me. They are vampires. They are monsters. Not kind men who help people. Maybe it is just an act?

I brush off my confusion and slump into Emmett's form. I can feel the sharp definitions of his chest as I grip onto his neck. The wind is gone and with it the strong scent leaves. But the memory is still there. The promise of blood still lures and awakens the monster. Another wind blows by as the sky darkens with the guarantee of a storm. I snarl as the scent once again taunts and mocks me. It lingers and swirls around me, provoking the monster. I try to jump up, prepared to hunt down my prey, but Emmett's grip stays firm and unrelenting as he holds me to him.

Now desperate, I writhe and thrash about, but he does not let go. He says something to me, but I don't register what he is saying. All I can think about is warm blood flowing down my dry throat. I use my arms to scratch furiously at my neck. It is on fire, desperate for a drink. The dryness of it pains me greatly as I try once again to follow my instincts. I feel Emmett's hold loosen a bit as I struggle and the monster in me rejoices. I am stronger than him. Elated, I continue to fight his grip and I feel myself winning. But I snarl with defeat as I feel three more pairs of hands hold me down.

"How can you do this?" I scream hysterically. "How do you resist?" I glare at the rest. Besides Jasper, who is clenching his fists, the rest seem unaffected by the scent of blood.

"We need to get her out of here," I barely hear Carlisle say through my bloodlust haze.

I growl as Emmett throws me across his broad shoulder and starts running away from my prey. I pound on his back and wiggle around, trying to get away from him. But as we get farther away, the monster in me admits defeat and my head becomes clear. I can finally think thoughts other than killing the man. Disgusted with myself once again, I stop struggling and let Emmett take me away.

Emmett notices my transition at once and shifts me so that he is now cradling me to his chest like I am some fragile doll instead of a dangerous vampire who was recently carrying murderous thoughts.

"Don't worry, little lady, I'm taking you far away," he reassures as he continues to run full-speed.

I nod against his chest, acknowledging what he said. "The others?" I whisper.

"Jasper's running behind us. Carlisle and Edward are coming, too, but first, they are attending to the man."

I widen my eyes in shock and horror while the monster in me growls in frustration. Why do they get to drink from the human and I don't?

"Oh, no," Emmett reads my thoughts. "They are going to take him to the hospital. We can't leave the guy out in the middle of the forest, now can we? He would die."

His answer perplexes me. They don't want the man to die? How can that be? They are vampires! They are heartless and soulless, just like me, right? Unless…maybe they aren't vampires. Just because they have a similar smell and similar traits as me doesn't mean anything. They certainly are not human, though, that much is clear. Wizards then? Werewolves? Fairies? I snort at the thought. Emmett? A Fairy? Ha!

Emmett looks down at my amused expression in confusion. I shrug, letting him know that it's nothing.

"Hey," I say, realizing something. "Why is Jasper trailing us instead of helping Carlisle and Edward?"

Emmett hesitates. "Jasper…he hasn't totally perfected resisting…we don't want to take any chances."

I smile. It seems like a weird time to smile, but something finally makes sense! There is a chance Jasper wouldn't be able to resist the human's blood. Finally someone is acting like a normal vampire/monster.

Still glad, I glance around at my surroundings. The sky is black now and the wind is still blowing angrily. Thunder roars loudly overhead as Emmett flies through the dark forest. We are silent as Emmett continues running. He does not put me down and I do not ask him to. I'm still not confident that I wouldn't try to run back towards the nearest human if I had the chance.

Twenty minutes later, Emmett slows down to a human jog. I raise a curious eyebrow at him. "Carlisle and Edward are probably done by now and want to catch up," Emmett explains. And sure enough, ten minutes later, Edward and Carlisle, with the addition of Jasper, appear at our sides. Emmett comes to a stop and swings us around to face them.

Edward doesn't meet my curious gaze as he stares at the ground while Carlisle and Jasper look at me. Carlisle's stare is curious yet kind. Jasper, though, looks mistrustful as he gazes intently at me. "Are we taking her home?" he asks, attempting to sound nonchalant, though failing to do so.

"Yes," Carlisle replies calmly as if this happened every day. And who knows? Maybe they do take in stray vampires every day. "Unless you already have a place to stay?" He turns to ask me.

I think about the forest, dark and forbearing. It's about to rain soon and the last thing I want to do is spend another long night on the ground with only trees to keep me company. And plus, it can't be my home anymore. Emmett said that these woods were their territory. I'll leave in the morning to find a new place to stay. So with only a moment of hesitation, I shake my head. "I don't have a home," I say quietly. "I would be very grateful if you could lend me a place to stay…just for the night, of course."

"Nonsense," Emmett insists. "You stay as long as you want," he tells me, smiling kindly at me.

I give him a small grin in response. Yes, it's not possible for a man like Emmett to be a monster.

"Emmett," Jasper protests. "She is a complete stranger. We can't just invite her into our home. She could be dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Emmett snorts in disbelief. "Look at her, Jazz. She is so small and sweet."

Didn't I tell you? People look at me and they see a 'small and sweet' person. I'm telling you—don't judge a book by its cover.

"She is a vampire!" Jasper exclaims. I smile. Finally someone gets it. "She has incredible strength and—"

"Incredible strength?" Emmett cuts him off incredulously. "Really? You think she can take on all of us?"

"No, but what if she has some special power?" Jasper refutes. I furrow my eyebrows. Special powers? "I don't want her in the same house as Alice until we can be sure that she is not a threat." Alice?

"Jasper," Carlisle says. "I understand your concern, but I cannot bear the thought of leaving this girl all by herself. Call me old-fashioned, but I have to do everything I can to help a woman in need. And if she needs a shelter, then that is something we can easily provide."

"Carlisle, reconsider," Jasper pleas, his eyes desperate. Woah, he must really love this Alice person. See? He can't be a vampire. Vampires are incapable of feeling anything as pure and good as love. "You just saw her try to attack that human."

"You know more than all of us, Jasper," Emmett says somberly, "how hard it is to resist your hunger."

"Okay," I say loudly as Jasper takes a threatening step forward. "Look, I don't want you guys to fight because of me. I'm sure I can find a cave or something—"

"Don't be ridiculous," Carlisle chides. "You are coming with us." He turns back to Jasper. "What is she feeling, Jasper?"

Jasper stares intensely at me with his gold eyes. "Uh she's feeling really confused, sad, afraid, guilty, and," he pauses, "she's feeling something else that I can't identify. But mostly confused. Really, really confused."

Hell yeah, I'm confused. How did he know all of that?

"See, Jasper? She's not feeling any anger or malice, correct?" Carlisle questions.

Jasper reluctantly nods. "What about you, Edward? What's she thinking?" he asks the red-head.

Edward continues to stare at the ground. "Um…" he hesitates.

"See?" Jasper gestures towards Edward. "Edward would know best."

Carlisle looks surprised. "She's having malicious thoughts?" I sigh in frustration. I'm so confused. How would Edward know what my thoughts are?

Edward sighs in frustration. "No, she's not having malicious thoughts," he answers. "She has no thoughts," I hear him murmur quietly afterwards, but since no else seems to notice, I must have imagined it.

"So it's settled," Carlisle states simply. "We take the girl with us."

Jasper purses his lips in distaste, but knows he is out-numbed. "Fine. I guess Edward would know if she's dangerous or not," he admits defeat.

Emmett whoops and I flinch at the loud sound. "Awesome," he cheers. "So let's go, little lady." He tightens his grip on me as he turns around and starts sprinting. The others follow us and we all run through the forest. Soon the trees thin and we are running across an open field. Less than five minutes later, a grand, white house comes into view. It's beautiful. It looks to be three-stories high and it's one of those houses that are timeless.

As we approach and get closer, I can see three women standing on the front porch as if they are expecting us. Of course, all three are beautiful. The nearest one is tall woman who looks to be the oldest of the three. She has light caramel-colored locks that flow past her chest. She also has a heart-shaped face and her figure is slender and soft. Standing next to her is a tall, statuesque girl with perfectly wavy, long blond hair. She is stunningly gorgeous even for a vampire. The last one is less than five feet tall. She is extremely thin and petitewith pitch black hair that barely reaches her chin. Needless to say, all have startling honey gold eyes.

"I'm so sorry," the short one cries when we reach the front of the house. "I saw her, but it was too late. I tried to call, but you guys didn't have your phones—"

Carlisle holds up a pale hand and the girl quiets down. "No worries, Alice. Everything is fine."

So her name is Alice, I gather. She was the one Jasper mentioned earlier. What did she mean when she said she 'saw' me? And no one told me we would be meeting with more vampires…or whatever they are.

Carlisle walks up to the caramel-haired lady and gives her a light kiss. I widen my eyes in disbelief, but no one else seems to think that this is out of the ordinary. In fact, Jasper goes up to Alice and they stare into each other's eyes. Like I'm serious. They just gaze at each other. I turn away from their private—and weird—embrace only to find that the blond model is glaring at me. Well, not me specifically, but at Emmett's hands that are still cradling me to his chest.

Emmett is oblivious. "Hey, Rosie," he greets happily.

She turns her icy glare towards him. "Emmett," she says coldly. "Who's your friend?" Oh, okay, _now_ she's glaring at me. I stare calmly back at her which seems to just anger her more.

"Now, Rose," Carlisle says as he wraps an arm around the caramel-haired woman. "We can get to that later. She needs some new clothes first. Do you mind lending her some of yours?"

I glance down and see that he is right. My clothes are ripped and filthy.

"Excuse me?" Rose says sharply.

"She is our guest," Carlisle replies simply. "And she _will_ be treated with respect and kindness, is that clear?" he says firmly to everyone, yet stares particularly at Jasper and Rose.

"Don't worry, Carlisle," Alice reassures, her voice high and musical. "We all are going to be really good friends." She smiles at me. "Come on, Bella, I'll take you to Rose's room."

Emmett gently sets me on the ground, but keeps a restraining hand on me. I glance at him and give him a small, appreciative smile. "Don't worry, Emmett. I'm good now," I say quietly.

He hesitates as his gold eyes search my face.

"Let her go, Emmett," Alice orders. "Bella's not planning on running," she states certainly.

Emmett nods and lets go of my arm without a word.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. That's the second time she's called me by my name "How do you know my name?" I question suspiciously, turning to face Alice. I study her closely, trying to see if I've seen her before. She has light gold eyes and is wearing fashionable clothes and a knowing smirk. Now that I think about it, she looks like a one of those all-knowing pixies. I'm certain I've never seen her before, but then how does she know my name? And what is this about her knowing that we are all going to be friends?

Alice just smiles even bigger. "Questions later, we need to get you looking presentable first." She takes my hand and leads me towards the front door. "See you guys in the living room," she calls to everyone as we enter the house. I raise my eyebrows in surprise as we step into the foyer. The inside is just as grand as the outside portrays it to be. The setting is comfortable, inviting, bright, and open.

Alice looks amused at my reaction. "What? You were expecting coffins and spider-webs?" she teases.

When she says 'coffin', that is when I am 100% certain that these people are vampires, albeit strange ones. I shrug, embarrassed, because that was exactly what I expecting. Worse, I've never expected a vampire to have any kind of house.

Alice laughs a tinkling, beautiful laugh. "Esme would never allow that."

I wrinkle my forehead. "Esme?"

"She's the one with the light brown hair," she explains. I nod to show that I know who she is talking about. "She's Carlisle's wife," Alice adds as she begins to walk forward. I admire her gracefulness—she walks like a ballerina—for a second before following her.

"Wife?" I repeat. "Like they are married?"

Alice nods. "Yup. And so are Rose and Emmett and Jasper and I." I widen my eyes. She is married? She cannot be older than eighteen! "Anyway," she continues, oblivious to my shock. "Esme decorated this house. She loves interior design. She's decorated more than twenty houses, believe it or not." I don't believe it. Esme looks to be twenty-five. No way has she decorated that many houses.

Alice leads me up an elegant, spiral staircase and takes me to the third door on the left. "Here we are." Alice opens the door and we step inside. Impressed, I look around the room. It's easily twice the size of my old room with a king-sized bed. The walls are a light tan color with matching rugs and carpet. With the expensive wooden furniture and soft-looking arm-chairs, the room looks straight out of a magazine. Alice walks gracefully across the room and at first I assume that she's walking to the dresser, but instead she heads to another door. She opens it to reveal a huge walk-in closet filled with designer clothes. _Damn_, this family is rich.

Alice enters the closet and I hear her shift through the options. I wait patiently on the extremely comfy bed before it dawns on me. Vampires don't need to sleep so there is only one use for a bed. I jump off the bed at lightning speed and settle for leaning against the wall.

"Here you go." Alice comes back out and throws a wad of clothes at me.

I catch them easily and unfold them to see that she has given me a short black skirt and a shimmery red top. "Uh Alice? Do you have anything a little more…comfortable?" I ask uneasily. The clothes are pretty, just not something I would wear. "How about some sweats?" I suggest, not wanting to get these designer clothes dirty.

Alice holds up two fingers. "Okay, two things. First, why would you want to wear sweats when you can have those clothes?" She looks honestly confused. "And second, Rose doesn't own any sweats." Alice laughs at the idea and I chuckle along. "But here, I think I can find something." Alice goes back into the closet and I set the skirt and top on top of the dresser. She comes back a second later and hands me a pair of black leggings and black flats. "I'll be right back." She doesn't wait for a response before running out of the room at vampire speed. A blink of an eye later she is in front of me again, but this time with a plain gray t-shirt and a big, white sweatshirt.

I grin at the sight. "Thanks, Alice. This is perfect." I take the clothes from her.

She smiles at me. "No problem. Now go change in the bathroom." She gestures to another door.

I roll my eyes. Of course they have a bathroom attached to their bedroom. Nonetheless I follow her instructions and enter the bathroom. I quickly change clothes and walk out. Alice giggles at the sight of me.

"What?" I look down self-consciously.

"That sweatshirt is huge on you," Alice replies, still giggling. It's true. I had to roll the sleeves up multiple times just to get my hands to show.

"Whose is it?" I ask curiously.

"Edward's," Alice answers.

I nod. That explains why it was so huge. Edward has at least six inches on me. "So does Edward have a wife?" I question, trying to sound nonchalant. I don't know why, but it would bother me if he did.

Alice laughs as if the image amused her. "Edward? Wife? No, he's really…picky."

"Oh? Will he mind if I borrow his clothes?" I ask, tugging on the sleeves nervously.

"He won't mind, trust me." Alice states certainly. "Oh, and I'll put those in the wash." She holds out her hands expectantly for my muddy clothes.

"Thanks, Alice," I say sincerely, handing her them.

"It's really no problem," Alice reassures.

"No," I disagree. "I mean, you guys don't have to take me in or give me your clothes. Not to mention you guys are really nice to me. It's…it's more than I deserve, truly."

"You're welcome, Bella. Like I said, it's no problem. Us vampires have to stick together, huh?" She nudges me and I smile in agreement.

"Now, we need to brush your hair." She holds up a hot pink brush and drags me to the vanity mirror at the other side of the room. I nervously sit down on the chair and look at my reflection for the second time today. I ignore my red eyes and concentrate on my hair. Alice was right. It is caked with mud and leaves from when Carlisle dragged me across the forest floor. Alice purses her lips. "We don't have time to wash it so we just have to settle for this." She starts picking leaves and ferns from my curly mess and I help her. Once most of the mud and leaves are in a neat pile on the surface of the vanity table, Alice begins to comb through my messy tangles. "Jeez, Bella, when is the last time you combed or washed your hair?" She hisses through her teeth as she struggles to brush through clumps of hair.

I tap my chin in thought. "I washed my hair last week in a river, but I haven't brushed it like three weeks." Alice raises a thin-arched eyebrow in surprise. Just then, her brush breaks as she tries to straighten a stubborn tangle. I flinch. "Sorry," I whisper.

"It's okay." Alice places the broken pieces of the brush on the table. "Here, let's just put it up. You can shower later." She quickly puts my hair in a high pony-tail.

I smile "Thanks, Alice."

"It's nothing. Now it's time for the make-up." She rubs her hands excitedly.

"Uh…I'd rather…not."

Alice sighs. "I knew you would say that, but I had to try. Oh well. Let's go. Everyone is waiting in the living room." She starts walking towards the hallway and gestures for me to follow her. We go down the stairs and enter the room to the left of the staircase. The living room is spacious and inviting. Carlisle, Esme, and Edward sit on one white couch and Emmett and Rose sit on a love seat. Alice and I walk and sit next to Jasper on another couch.

"Okay," Carlisle claps his hands. "Where do we start?"

"Uh." I raise an arm to indicate I would like to bgin. "I just want to say that I'm really grateful towards all of you guys. Especially you, Carlisle. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't stopped me. Actually…I do know what I would have done." I shudder. "I really owe you big time."

Carlisle smiles at me. "Think nothing of it, Bella. And you are welcome here."

"Yeah, Bells," Emmett agrees. "Mi casa es your casa."

Rose rolls her eyes. "It's _tu_ casa, Emmett._ Tu_."

"Same thing." Emmett dismisses with a wave of his hand while everyone laughs.

"_Anyway_," Jasper smiles. "I would like to apologize, Bella, for the way I acted earlier. I should have never considered leaving you in the woods."

"Oh, no, Jasper, it was completely understandable," I reassure and he grins at me.

"So Bella, tell us about yourself," Emse prompts, smiling kindly at me.

I look down shyly. "Oh, there's not much to tell, really."

"Why don't you start with you age?" Alice suggests.

"I'm seventeen," I answer.

"Oh, that's rather young," Carlisle comments not unkindly.

I frown, slightly insulted. I am about the same age as Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward.

Jasper, seeming to sense my mood, smiles reassuringly. "Don't worry, Bella. Everyone seems young to Carlisle. He's like over three hundred years-old."

I widen my eyes in shock. "Excuse me?" I ask incredulously, certain I had heard wrong. I mean, what an exaggeration. He was probably only in his mid-twenties and didn't have a wrinkle on him.

"When Alice asked your age," Edward murmurs quietly, staring at the ground. This is the first time he's spoken since we were back in the forest. His voice is as smooth as velvet. "She was asking how long you've been a vampire."

"Wait, I'm still confused." I furrow my eyebrows and turn to Carlisle. "You are saying that you've been a vampire for three hundred years? How is that possible?"

Rose looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Vampires are immortal."

"What!".

"You didn't know that?" Esme asks incredulously.

"How much do you know about vampires?" questions Jasper.

"Not much," I admit. "I mean, I know we have super strength, speed, eyesight, and hearing. I know we don't have to use the bathroom and we don't need to sleep. And that we are immortal. But that's about it." Then I look around at everyone and remember, "Also, we are all beautiful, pale, and cold. And we are dead so we have no working organs, right?" I add.

"That's correct," Carlisle confirms.

"Oh! And we can see our reflections, too," I continue.

Emmett chuckles. "Yeah, most of those myths are wrong."

"Burning in sunlight?" I ask curiously.

"Myth," Jasper answers.

"Really?" I frown. "I've been avoiding the sunlight since I've been changed."

"You still should," Carlisle warns seriously.

"Why?"

Alice smiles. "We'll show you sometime," she promises.

"Okay. What about changing into bat?"

"Myth." Jasper chuckles.

"Darn." I snap my fingers in disappointment. It would have been cool to fly.

"I know, right?" Emmett agrees. "I mean, how cool would it be to be able to turn into _bat_? That would be _awesome_!"

Rose rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless in amusement.

"So vampires are immortal? Does that mean we can't die?" I question, leaning forward.

"No, we can die," Carlisle answers. "It's very hard to kill us, though. Only another vampire can kill us."

I nod. "I was hoping you would say that," I reply. "So can you guys do me a favor?"

"Of course." Esme smiles.

Alice mouths drops. "No," she whispers in horror.

"Kill me?" I ask.

* * *

**So I really want you guys to put yourselves in Bella's shoes. She literally just turned into a vampire, she's super confused and depressed. Her life and family has been stripped away from her and she just learned that she will have to spend eternity as an vampire. She thinks she's a monster and doesn't want to take the chance that she could possibly kill another human. So yeah, add all of that up and she's pretty much suicidal. If you're worrying about all the chapters being angsty, though, don't. It may seem that way now, but trust me I love to write fluff. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter! Review and tell me what you thought and I'll send you a sneak peak.**

**Pictures of Cullen house, Rose's and Emmett's room, and the living room are on my profile.**

**Review! **

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	3. Cullen Addition

**Hey! Here is chapter three. Thank you to those who reviewed—Miss Rizz, Sarah01, EnyaCullen4Ever, bookluva98, HeyThereBuddy, Zookiel101, writingnut2010, Twilighter930, TeamRobsten, tukque95, Sweetie7smiled, brittney, aleki98, Ka5tie-marie-cullen, and et1141412. And now enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. **

* * *

"_I did not direct my life. I didn't design it. I never made decisions. Things always came up and made them for me. That's what life is."_

~ B. F. Skinner quotes

* * *

**Saturday, January 14th 8:30 P.M.**

"Kill me?" I ask.

Jasper snaps his fingers, effectively breaking the long silence that developed after my plea. "That's it!" He seems excited. "That's it!" Everyone blinks at him. He grins smugly. "I figured it out! The emotion you've been feeling this whole time that I just couldn't figure out is self-hate."

"But why, Bella?" Carlisle questions.

"Because she did something horrible," Jasper answers for me. Everyone looks at him again. "What?" He shrugs. "She's also feeling a lot of guilt."

"Why?" Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Esme ask at the same time.

I rub my face with my hands. "I don't know where to start."

"Start with answering the question," Rose prompts. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "How long have you've been a vampire?" she adds, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, about three weeks." I answer.

Everyone but Edward's jaws drop.

"What?" I ask self-consciously.

"Liar," Rose spits at me. I flinch at her tone.

"Impossible," Jasper agrees.

"What are you guys talking about?" I demand. "I'm not lying."

"Edward?" Carlisle says calmly.

Edward keeps staring at the ground. "She's not lying," he says quietly. At his words, everyone relaxes back into their seats.

"I could have told you that," I mumble, still put off by the fact that they didn't believe me.

"Sorry, Bella," Jasper starts. "It's just that newborns—" he pauses, somehow knowing I am confused. "Newborns are vampires that have just been changed," he explains. "They are typically completely blood-crazed their first year."

"Yes," Carlisle agrees. "You are only three weeks old. It should be impossible for you to think about anything other than blood. But here you are, carrying on a conversation. You seem to not be in any pain. And I saw you, Bella. I saw you fight to not kill that human. Normal newborns would have killed without a second thought."

"_Normal _newborns? So I'm like a freak?" I frown.

Emmett laughs a booming laugh. "Out of that whole thing, that's what you choose to focus on?"

"Yeah, I mean the stuff Carlisle said is true," Rose says. "It's impossible for a three-week old vampire to act this way. _Impossible_. She _must _be lying," she puts bluntly, glaring at me with her dark honey eyes.

I bite my lip. "I'm not lying," I insist.

"She's telling the truth, Rose," Edward hisses from his spot. I smile albeit slightly. Though, I appreciate his support, it would make me a whole lot happier if he would at least look at me.

"Rose," Carlisle says, "consider how most would say it's impossible for someone to read thoughts or emotions. Or how people would say that it's impossible to look into the future, yet you know first-hand that these things are indeed possible."

"Excuse me?" My voice cracks as I look around the room in disbelief. "What was that?" I ask, certain that I had heard wrong.

They ignore me.

"So you're saying that she has some kind of power, Carlisle?" Jasper questions curiously, leaning forward.

"Possibly," Carlisle answers slowly. "I mean, you know more than all of us, Jasper, that her behavior is completely abnormal."

I huff, annoyed. "There you go again, calling me abnormal," I grumble. They continue to ignore me.

Jasper nods in agreement. "I've never seen something like this."

"Maybe power of self-control?" Esme suggests, twirling a caramel lock in thought.

"So what? She was super good at self-control when she was a human?" Alice questions doubtfully.

"That's a dumb power." Rose snorts. "Watch out, I'm going to unleash my self-control on you," she says sarcastically, smirking at me.

"Oh, please, Rose." Edward finally looks up to glare at her. "Watch me be all pig-headed on you, huh?"

Rose rolls her eyes and doesn't respond. I try to catch Edward's eye so I can smile in thanks for defending me, but he goes back to staring at the carpet. I look at the place he is staring at, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out how a piece of carpet can be so interesting.

"I personally think that the power—" Jasper starts to say before I lift a hand up to silence him

"Can I just say that I have no clue what you guys are talking about?" I shake my head in confusion "Powers?" I rub my forehead like I have a headache coming on.

"We'll get to that later," Alice dismisses.

"Yeah, let's get back to the point now," Emmett points at me. "I mean, Bells here wants to off herself."

"Well put, Emmett, as always." Jasper rolls his honey-colored eyes.

"Tell us why, Bella," Esme urges gently, smiling kindly at me.

I look down self-consciously as seven pairs of golden, curious eyes fall on me. "Well, it's just that we…" I pause as I look up again and study everyone. Esme with her gentle smile. Carlisle leaning forward intently, ready to listen and help. Alice with a concerned look etched on her face. Rose with a scowl on her face, though, she also looks worried. Edward with a piercing, intent stare, and Emmett with an uncharacteristic frown. These people aren't monsters. However… "_I _am a monster."

Carlisle furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Start at the beginning, Bella," he presses.

"Okay." I clear my throat awkwardly. "Well, I lived with my mom and step-dad in Phoenix. My biological dad lives in some small town in Washington. I had just spent all of Christmas Eve driving towards my dad, slept in a hotel, and then left on early Christmas morning, planning on being there at about noon so I called my dad to tell him so. Hours later, I was nearing the city. It was dark out because of a snow-storm, but I kept going, wanting to spend Christmas with my dad." I pause wistfully before shaking my head. "Yeah, so I was driving down an empty road in my step-dad's car, when all of a sudden, my car started to slow down. So I pulled onto the shoulder to see what the problem was, and I found that I had a flat tire."

"What happens next?" Emmett asks when I pause again.

I shake my head. "I don't really know. All of a sudden I was bending over and checking the tire and then I was being pressed against the side of the car. I felt a stinging pain on my neck and then just intense agony. It was like I was burning alive." Everyone nods, knowing what I was talking about.

"So you don't know who changed you?" Edward asks hurriedly.

I wrinkle my forehead in concentration. "Nope. I don't remember who bit me at all. It happened so fast."

"What did you do when you woke?" Jasper questions.

"Well, I don't how long I laid there, but when I woke up I was in the middle of the woods, under some tree."

Alice gasps in surprise. "Whoever bit you just put you under a tree?" she asks incredulously.

I nod sadly.

"How horrible!" Esme covers her mouth with one of her hands.

"Yeah," I agree. "I was so confused. I had no idea what happened. I could suddenly see and hear better. I could run really fast and I was incredibly strong. Anyways, the only thing on my mind was I have to see Charlie, he's probably so worried about me. So I just ran. I ran and ran until I was standing in front of my old house. But my dad's not there so I…I kinda followed his scent. I found him on a beach.

He was there, just staring at the ocean. He had the saddest expression on his face…I mean just imagine it. You haven't seen your only daughter in years. _Years._ And you hear that she's coming and staying for a whole week to spend the holidays with you. The only reason I was going to see my dad was because I wanted to move in with him. I was going to surprise him. I never got to tell him." I choke on a sob.

"Oh, Bella," Alice, who is nearest to me, puts her tiny, pale arm around me. I lean into her and sniffle loudly.

A chorus of 'I'm so sorry' is sounded from everyone and I nod in appreciation.

"So imagine your excitement, it's all you can think about for weeks. You were going to see your daughter after all these years. It's Christmas day and you wait and wait and wait. Noon comes and goes and still no trace of her. It's five P.M. and you are really worring now. You keep on calling your daughter, but she's not answering so you call your ex-wife. You ask, 'Where's Bella? Why isn't she here' and she says, 'What do mean? She told me she would be there by noon'. That's when you both realize that something terrible has happened to your dear daughter.

You call and call and call, but no one has seen her. She's missing. Her car is nowhere to be found. She's gone. She's gone. Your only daughter who you haven't seen for years, your only daughter who you were so excited to see, your only daughter who was going to move in with you, who you were finally going to get to know better." I let out another sob. "It was _Christmas_ for Christ's sake."

And that's when I lose it. Alice rocks me back and forth as I cry without tears into her chest. Surprisingly, I feel better a few minutes later—like a wave of calm suddenly hits me. I look around, confused, before I just shrug it off. I glance at everyone to see that they all have a grim expression on their faces. Esme and Alice both look like they are going to cry.

"What did you do when you found him?" Jasper whispers.

I swallow. "Well, you have to understand that the whole time before that, I was just focused on finding my dad. That was all that was going through my mind. So when I finally see him, a rush of hunger just envelopes me."

"No!" Everyone gasps, horror shining in their gold eyes.

I shake my head and they breathe a sigh of relief. "No. As soon as I realized that I wanted to kill my own dad, I ran away. I ran and ran until I was in the middle of some woods and I could smell no humans. I just sat on the floor for at least two days. I didn't even realize that much time had passed. I was just so consumed with the thoughts of actually almost killing my own dad. When I finally snapped out of it, I realized that I had been completely still for over forty-eight hours. My throat was on fire and I was really thirsty so I went looking for water. I eventually found a river and I saw my reflection. I saw that my face was really pale and I had perfect facial features. And I saw my red eyes. That's when it hit me. I wasn't thirsty for water; I was thirsty for blood. I realized that I was a vampire, I was a monster.

So I…well, I cried. I cried a lot. I cried because I wasn't human anymore. I cried because I would never see my friends or parents or anything. For days I just wallowed in grief. Then, I started to get curious. I spent the next few days seeing how strong I was and how fast I could go. I marveled at my beauty. I concentrated on the different smells and I tried to see how far my vision extended. I had a small cave that I stayed at. Sometimes I would just sit on the cave floor and be still for days at a time as I thought about my old life and wondered what I should do with my new lif—well, you can't really call this a life…

Anyway, one day, I was running around and I saw a cabin. Just this random cabin in the middle of the woods. And I heard two humans inside. And I was so hungry…I wanted their blood. I started imagining how the blood would taste like and I started running towards the cabin, intent of murdering those people. But they had a dog. The dog had smelled me and was barking its head off. It charged me and I…I ripped its head off. I killed the dog…it was just trying to protect its owners…" I shake my head in disgust.

"Once I saw the decapitated body, I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran away…again. I left my cave and just jogged. I went at human pace. I was no longer interested in how fast I could go or how strong I was because my super speed and strength just served to remind me that I was no longer human. I no longer marveled at my beauty because my beauty was just a tool to lure humans and get them to trust me. I was no longer fascinated with my sense of smell. I stopped breathing because I didn't want to catch a whiff of blood. I no longer wondered about my vision. Everything that made me a vampire, that made me a monster, I rejected.

When I finally stopped running, I decided to kill myself. That's when I learned that vampires are indestructible. I stabbed myself with sharp rocks, I jumped off cliffs, I ran into trees at full speed, I tried everything, but nothing worked. So I decided living in isolation was the next best thing.

I ran until I was deep into the woods. I stopped in front of a small stream and decided to make that my new 'home'. I was bored so I ran some more just so I could get to know my 'home' better. That's when I smelled that human. Carlisle stopped me from killing the guy—"

"I'm sorry, Bella," Carlisle cuts me off not unkindly. "But do you mind if I tell this part of the story?" I nod hesitantly and he smiles gently at me before addressing the rest of the room.

"As you all know, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, and I were on a hunting trip. I had just finished drinking a deer when I smelled another vampire's scent. Curious, I followed the scent that led me to Bella." He pauses as I make a noise of protest. "You didn't smell me, Bella, because I was downwind from you," he explains and I nod in acceptance.

"So I saw her and I was surprised to see that she was so slowly. I was going to go up and introduce myself, but then we both heard it—a human's heartbeat. I saw Bella's eyes darken and she crouched down. She started growling and I was afraid that she was going to kill the man who was just on a hike. But then she straightened up from her crouch and took a step backward. She shook her head, but then crouched again. I was confused at her actions, but then I saw her scratch her neck. That was when I realized that she was hungry, but she that she didn't actually want to kill the human.

So I was about to make my presence known when we both heard the human fall down and hit his head on a rock. Bella was strong, but as we all know, it's hard to resist the smell of exposed blood. So I saw her lose the fight to resist and she took off running full-speed towards the human. I followed after her, but she was faster. She slowed down as she got closer to the man, but I sped up. I saw her crouch and pounce and I arrived just in time to jump and tackle her to the ground. And I'm not proud to admit this, but Bella seemed to still be in hunting mode, so I had to drag her far enough away that the smell of blood wasn't as prominent.

When she could breathe fresh air, I apologized. She thanked me and I started to tell her it was no problem when Jasper, Edward, and Emmett arrived. We talked, but then a wind carried the scent of the human blood towards us. Bella got on her knees and begged Emmett to restrain her. Emmett agreed, but Bella then started to fight against him so Edward, Jasper, and I helped hold her down. I eventually told Emmett to take Bella away while Edward and I got the human to a hospital. We caught up with them afterwards and decided to bring Bella here and let her stay as long as she wants to."

"Oh," Emmett raises his hand. "And just so everyone knows, when Carlisle says that Bella starts 'to fight against' me, he's exaggerating." Emmett points both of his thumbs at his chest. "I had everything under control."

Jasper snorts. "Is that a joke? Dude, she was totally beating you."

"Okay, you know what Jasper?" Emmett points a finger at him. "I, unlike you, am a gentleman. I was simply going easy on her and did not want to be overly rough or aggressive."

"You? A gentleman?" Jasper protests. "Yeah right—"

"Okay." Esme holds a palm up and both Emmett and Jasper quiet down. "Now, I would just like to say one thing." She turns to face me. "I'm sorry for what you went through, Bella," she says sincerely.

Everyone nods in agreement and choruses their pity and condolences.

"And, Bella, I'd like you to know," Carlisle starts, "that our kind has rules against turning a human into a vampire and abandoning him or her. If we ever find out who changed you, I assure you, I will make sure he or she pays," he vows seriously.

"_We_," Emmett corrects darkly. "We will make sure he pays." He cracks his knuckles. Jasper and Rose readily agree with him.

I smile slightly. "Thanks guys," I whisper. "What?" I add when I notice Emmett's intense stare.

"It's just…this has been bothering me since I saw you…you look so familiar…"

The others also study me intently before nodding their agreement.

"Yeah, I get that feeling, too," Jasper murmurs.

"Oh!" Rose's eyes widen. "You're that Swan girl!" She points a manicured finger at me.

"You're Chief Swan's daughter!" Emmett snaps his finger.

"The small town in Washington you were talking about earlier was Forks!" Carlisle adds.

"There are flyers with your picture all over town!" Alice bounces in her seat.

Jasper slaps his knee in excitement. "It was your vampire scent that we found in Forks! I knew I smelled you before!"

"And you found your dad at First Beach, right?" Esme guesses.

I shake my head, perplexed. "How do you guys know all of this?"

"Bella, we're in Forks," Rose states in a tone that clearly implied that she thought I was stupid for not seeing this sooner.

My red eyes widen in shock. "We are in Forks? You guys live in Forks?" I ask incredulously.

They nod.

"Yeah, we have woods surrounding the house. You were right in the middle of them," Jasper answers.

"Listen, Bella," Carlisle starts, "your dad, Chief Swan, has been putting up flyers with pictures of you all over Forks, Port Angeles, and Seattle. They basically say that if we've seen your face or have any information about your whereabouts to call the police station. The reason we didn't recognize you before is because you look so much different as a vampire and well, Charlie is looking for his daughter_ Isabella_, not Bella."

I sigh heavily. "I wish he wouldn't look for me. He should just accept that fact that I'm dead. I mean, I'm going to die soon anyway."

"Yeah about that…" Emmett trails off.

"Yeah, Bella," Esme says. "Excuse me if I don't quite understand, but why do you want to kill yourself again?"

I sigh. "I almost killed a handful of humans, Esme. I almost killed those innocent people. I almost killed _my own dad_. I was so close…And I'm only getting hungrier and hungrier. Eventually, I'm going to crack. I'm going to murder someone. And when I do, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from killing more people. I can't let that happen. My life is not worth a handful of innocent human's lives."

"Bella," Jasper says as he runs a hand through his blond hair. "I honestly think you are underestimating yourself. Your self-control is amazing, truly phenomenal. Trust me when I say this, but I've never seen such a mature newborn, and that's saying a lot. It's not possible for a newborn to resist blood once they've smelt it. Heck, they don't give it a second thought. They just kill. But you, you are amazing. First off, to _want _to resist, and that's an achievement on its own—the majority of vampires don't care about humans. Second, to be able to run away and not lose control is unfathomable. Third, to not have any blood, human or animal, for _three weeks_ is impossible. You, Bella, should give yourself a bucketful of credit. You, my lady, have achieved the impossible." He smiles sincerely at me.

If I was human, I would have blushed.

"You are no monster, Bella," Alice adds strongly. "If you, who arguably has more self-control than _Carlisle_, are a monster, then the rest of us are monsters, too."

I bite my lip. "Look, you guys are nice and kind _to me, _but I honestly can't say you are not monsters when you hunt and kill humans on a regular basis."

Instead of looking insulted, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and even Rose burst out laughing. Edward is the only one who remains silent. I glance around the room in confusion as they all laugh loudly. It takes a while, but finally they all calm down until just Alice and Emmett are still chuckling.

"What is so funny?" I demand.

"Bella," Alice giggles. "We don't hunt humans."

"What?" I ask, thoroughly confused.

"Do you want to know why our eyes are gold instead of red?" Esme asks.

"Oh, I know that already." I wave my hand dismissively.

They look confused. "So you know that we don't hunt humans?" Emmett asks.

I furrow my eyebrows. "What does getting colored contacts have to do with not hunting humans?" I question, cocking my head to the side.

They—always with the exception of Edward—burst out laughing again.

I huff, getting really annoyed. "You can stop laughing anytime now," I say loudly.

Emmett guffaws. "Sorry, Bella." He wipes a pretend tear from his face. "But that was a good one. Contacts." He chuckles.

I rub my temple with my pointer fingers. "Damn, you guys are so confusing."

"Bella." Alice smiles. "Our eyes are golden colored because we drink animal blood, not human blood."

I widen my eyes. "Animal blood," I breathe. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"I'm actually surprised, too," Carlisle states. "When I was a newborn, I was so hungry that I ate the first thing that strayed in my path, which happened to be a deer. I wonder why the smell of animal blood didn't tempt you."

I shrug. "Well, at first, when I was exploring my newfound strength, I threw boulders around that weighed as much as I did and lifted trees and threw them across the forest. I guess all the noise must have scared the animals away. And after I almost killed the couple in the cabin, I stopped breathing altogether, so there's no way I could have smelled animal blood," I theorize. Carlisle nods, accepting my answer. "So we can survive off just animal blood?" I ask curiously.

They nod. "It's not nearly as good as human blood," Emmett comments.

Alice nods in agreement. "Yeah. It's like resisting chocolate and sweet desserts and well, everything and settling for just eating tofu your whole life."

"It's hard," Esme continues. "But we all think it's worth it."

"We call ourselves vegetarians," Alice adds.

"Vegetarians," I say slowly, testing the word out. "And how many vampires are vegetarians?"

"Well of all the people in the world, vampires make about 1% of the population," Alice answers. "But only us and another coven in Alaska are vegetarians."

I purse my lips in thought. "What do the other vampires do, then?"

"They are nomads," Jasper answers. "They basically move from place to place feeding on humans. They only come out of night, though. Other times they hang out in the woods or some other hide-out."

"We choose to be vegetarians so we can live in an actual home," Carlisle adds. "Other vampires travel in covens of two or three. They just stay together out of necessity. We, on the other hand, are a family."

I nod slowly. Family. So Carlisle and Esme are like the parents and Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Edward are like their kids.

"Also," Jasper continues, "being vegetarians allows us to go to school and lets Carlisle be a doctor."

My jaw drops. "You guys go to school and Carlisle is actually a doctor?"

They nod.

"Woah," I whisper. "You guys look like vampires, sound like vampires, smell like vampires, but act and dress like humans."

Carlisle winks a gold eye at me. "That's the point, Bella."

"We are like you, Bella," Esme says. "We don't want to monsters, either."

I nod slowly, still processing everything. "And you guys resist your hunger and everything?"

"Well, we try our best," Emmett replies. "It takes years of practice before we can comfortably be in a classroom full of students. But like Esme said, it's worth it."

"And plus, Bella." Carlisle smiles. "I've been on this earth for more than three centuries. I spent all of those years learning to control myself around human blood."

"Carlisle is a pro at resisting blood," Esme praises her husband. "He can be in an enclosed room with a guy practically bleeding to death and he doesn't even bat an eyelash."

"But for the rest of us, since we aren't doctors," Alice says. "It only takes three or four years of extreme practice to resist."

"But for you?" Jasper taps his chin in thought. "With your self-control? It should only take you about two years. We can teach you to be like us. You can go to school, go to college, that stuff."

"What are you guys saying?" I ask suspiciously.

"We want to teach you to be a vegetarian," Emmett answers.

I hesitate.

"I know you want to die, Bella. We can give that to you," Jasper says. "I'm just saying give it two years. Two years of learning and resisting and practicing. And after two years of doing as we advise, you still want to die, then we promise to kill you."

"Now, hold on Jasper—" Emmett starts to protest, but Jasper continues without missing a beat.

"_I _promise to kill you," Jasper vows.

I think it over before nodding. I reach across Alice to shake Jasper's hand. "It's a deal."

"Okay, I think that's it for one night," Carlisle says, clearing not happy with the agreement and wanting me out of the room so that he could talk privately with Jasper. "Alice, can you show Bella to her new room? I'm sure she'd like a few hours on her own."

Alice nods and we both get up and head towards the stairs.

"Oh, and Bella?" Carlisle calls. I turn around and raise an eyebrow. "Welcome to the Cullen family." He winks at me and I smile a real, genuine smile at him.

* * *

**There you go! You finally found out what happened to Bella. Poor Bella. So I know self-control isn't Bella's real power, but the Cullens are just theorizing. Next chapter, Bella learns more about the Cullens. So review and I'll send you a sneak preview! And Edward is being really weird, and quite honestly he should be weird for a while. But we'll find out later what's going on in his head. What do you guys think about Jasper's and Bella's deal?**

**Review please and tell me what you thought! **

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	4. Tales from the Past

**Hey guys! Thanks to my those who reviewed—Twilghtgurl1917, writingnut2010, Zookiel101, NJ94, Twilight lover, TeamRobsten, Twilighter930, dolphindreaming, Sweetie7smiled, bookluva98, Ozana, aleki98, xXbeautifulIllusionsXx, EnyaCullen4Ever—for taking the time to leave a comment. ****And now here is Chapter 4! Enjoy.**

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_What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment._ ~Author Unknown

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**Saturday, January 14th 10:00 P.M.**

"Here is your room, Bella." Alice opens the door with flourish.

I hesitantly step inside and my jaw drops. "Damn, Alice, do all of the rooms in this house look like they came straight out of a magazine?"

Alice giggles. "Esme _really_ loves interior designing."

"I'll say," I mumble as I look around the room in awe. The walls are painted a light blue color and the carpet is a slightly darker shade of blue. There is a huge queen size bed with white covers and a crystal chandelier above. A wooden desk is to our left and a little lounge area is on the far side of the room with a glass coffee table and two blue chairs. It's beautiful. "Am I really staying here?"

Alice nods and smiles at me. "For two years. Hopefully more." She pauses. "Or maybe we'll move before the two years are up." She shrugs her tiny shoulders.

I grin. "Thanks, Alice. This is great. Really."

"No problem, Bella. I told you, we will all be really good friends," she promises.

I smile and bite my lip in thought. Friends. After all I've been through, it's nice to hear that I have friends to help and support me.

oOo

The last twelve hours were wasted on my new bed as I stared at the celling. I was completely still, something I could never be when I was human. I loved it. It was so easy to think when you are a vampire. So I thought all about the Cullens, my parents, my old friends, and about what was in store with me. I wondered if the deal Jasper and I struck was the right thing to do. I mean, to live in misery for two whole years? Yeah, even though the Cullens are super nice to me and I appreciate everything they've done and are doing, I'm still miserable. And what do you expect? My whole family, my whole_ life_ was stripped unfairly away from me. I mean, it's one thing to die. I would be dead, that's that. Happens to everyone, you know?

But being dead yet still being alive?

Complete hell.

I'm alive enough to miss my parents; I'm alive enough to miss feeling my heart thump against my chest, to miss tripping, to miss crying actual tears, to miss blushing, to miss having _possibilities_, to miss having a_ life_. But I'm dead enough to not be able to see my parents and hug them and tell them I love them; I'm dead enough to not be able to feel my heart thump against my chest, to not be able to trip, to not be able to cry tears, to not be able to blush, to not have possibilities, and to not have a life. Now, I will never have kids, fall in love, have a job…nothing.

To live forever in a seventeen-year old body?

Complete hell.

So hell yes, I would rather be dead then be an immortal, blood-sucking vampire.

oOo

A knock on my door interrupts my thoughts.

"Come in," I call, though really, it's unnecessary. Even I if I whisper, the vampire at the other side of the door could easily hear me.

The door opens and Emmett's smiling face enters the room.

I grin involuntarily at the sight of him. Emmett can do that. Even if you feel terrible, the sight of his smile and carefree attitude is contagious. "Hey, Emmett," I greet as I sit up. "You know you don't have to knock, right? It's your house." I pull my knees to my chest and lay my head on top of them as I raise an eyebrow at him.

Emmett rolls his eyes. "Hey, now, Bella, this is your house, too."

"Only for two years," I remind him, my smile fading.

Emmett frowns. I can tell that he doesn't like the arrangement between Jasper and I. I know Alice, Esme, and Carlisle don't like the deal either, but they seem confident that I'll change my mind after two years. In fact, Alice seems completely certain of this fact. Though, I have no idea what Edward and Rose think about it. Edward, especially. I think he's only made eye contact with me once—when we first met. I shudder as I remember the horror on his face when he stared at me.

"…this means?" Emmett's voice breaks through my thoughts.

I blink. "Uh what?"

He sighs dramatically, playfully. "I _said_: do you know what you living in this house means?" he asks eagerly.

I grin unconsciously at his enthusiasm. "What does it mean?"

"That I get another sister!" he cheers enthusiastically as he does a fist pump into the air.

And it is in that moment where I realize that Emmett and I had forged a bond when I had stared at up at him, my red, hungry eyes desperate. Since the moment where I had begged and pleaded for help in the woods, Emmett has and forever will always see himself as my protector—my big brother. I smile at the thought. "I've always wanted an older brother," I whisper wistfully.

"Well, now you've got one," Emmett replies, smiling back at me. "Now, let's go!"

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Go where?"

"We are going brother-sister bonding." He grins, his gold eyes wide with excitement. "I called dibs on taking you on your first hunting trip."

oOo

"Okay, Bells, take a big breath," Emmett instructs as he leans against a tree. I inhale deeply, smelling every scent within a mile of me. "Do you smell that?" he asks.

I nod as my red eyes darken and I feel a dry ache in the back of my throat. "Blood."

He nods. "Elk blood."

I now concentrate on my impressive hearing and I hear a herd of elk chomping on some grass about half a mile away. "What do I do?" I ask nervously.

"What you are doing," he replies easily. I winkle my forehead, but then I see that I had instinctively crouched on the ground, my body angled towards the direction of the elk. "Just let your predatory senses take over." I hesitate. "Don't worry," Emmett adds, reading my mind. "I'll make sure you don't attack any human or try to run off."

I nod, grateful, before trying to give myself to my senses. But nothing happens. Confused, I turn to Emmett for help.

"Smell the blood again," he suggests.

I inhale and concentrate on the strong smell of blood. I involuntarily growl as my throat flames with hunger and venom fills my mouth.

"Go," Emmett orders and I take off on a mad-sprint towards my prey. It doesn't take long for me to reach the herd. I immediately go for the biggest elk and tackle it to the ground. I barely notice the rest of the herd flee before I sink my teeth into the elk's neck. I purr with pleasure as the warm blood instantly fills my mouth. It tastes so good, so rich. I gulp and gulp down the savory substance until there is no blood left in the elk's body. I dump the carcass unceremoniously onto the forest floor. Still hungry, I instantly take off in the direction the herd ran off to. Their speed is no match for mine and I soon grip the first elk I come in contact with. I accidently rip its head off as I try to grab its throat. Unaffected, I sink my teeth into its fur and drink greedily. When there is no more blood, I sit down, satisfied.

"Good?"

I look up to see Emmett leaning against another tree as he raises an eyebrow at me. Embarrassed, I nod. "Did you see the whole thing?" I ask sheepishly.

He chuckles deeply and nods in confirmation. "You'll get better the more you hunt." He stares pointedly at the dead elk on the ground. I look to see a mangled body and a decapitated head a couple of feet away from me.

"Oops," I whisper as I also realize that the elk is missing one of its leg.

Emmett laughs. "You tore it off and threw it somewhere," he answers my silent question.

I bite my lip bashfully. "I don't quite remember that part."

Emmett laughs a booming laugh again. I try to glare at him for continuously laughing at me, but end up giggling myself. "Trust me," Emmett adds, "you don't want to see the first elk you drank from."

I winch at the image of the poor elk before slowly standing up and brushing the leaves off of me. That's when I realize that there is blood all over my sweatshirt. I widen my red eyes. "Oh no," I groan. "This is Edward's," I whisper, griping the sweatshirt in horror. I mean, sure, why not give Edward more reason to hate me?

Emmett shrugs. "Don't worry about it," he reassures. "Esme knows a way to get it out." I nod in relief. "Now are you done?"

"Yeah, I'm full," I answer as I take off the bloody sweatshirt.

"Okay, but you'll be hungry soon enough so we'll have to go tomorrow again. But for now, we need to bury the dead elk so that the humans don't get suspicious and then we can head home."

I grin.

_Home._

oOo

_The Next Day (Monday)_

_I'm so bored_, I think as I walk around the house. Alice had given me a tour of the house yesterday and I now know each of the rooms in this house. I stroll around aimlessly, just admiring the beautiful interior, until I find myself standing outside of Carlisle's and Esme's bedroom. I can hear Esme dusting her dresser through the closed door. Since it is Monday, Rose, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are at school. Yeah, I know, I can't believe they actually go to _school_. Carlisle is _working a shift at the hospital_ which just leaves Esme and I at the house. Other than Emmett being a brother-figure to me and Alice being a good friend, I really haven't gotten to know the other Cullens. Since I know I will be spending a lot of time in the same house as Esme, I decide that I should make an honest effort to get to know her better. With that in mind and only a little hesitation, I lift my hand up and knock on the wooden door.

"Come in," I hear Esme's musical voice say invitingly, sounding like she has a smile on her face.

I grip the cold knob, turn it, swing the door open, and…rip the door off its hinge. "Oh my god," I gasp, covering my mouth with one hand in horror as I easily hold the door in my other hand. Esme laughs. Let me repeat, she _laughs. _"Mrs. Cullen…I'm _so_ sorry. I'll pay you back, I promise."

Esme waves a pale hand dismissively as she walks to stand in front of me. "Don't worry, sweetie. It takes a while to get used to our strength," she reassures. Still seeing the guilt written plainly on my face, she continues. "When Emmett was a newborn, he broke over ten doors, five windows, and two walls."

I smile slightly at the image of Emmett plowing through a poor, unsuspecting wall and leaving an Emmett-sized figure in the plaster. "Still, Mrs. Cullen, I really am sorry. You welcomed me into your beautiful home and this is how I repay you." I wave the broken door pointedly and shamefully.

Esme smiles kindly at me. "Really, Bella, Carlisle has lived over three centuries as a doctor. We have plenty of money to pay for a new door."

I purse my lips. I don't like the idea of the Cullens paying for my mistake. "How about I help you clean today?" I compromise, figuring since I had no money to offer her, I can pay my way through house-keeping.

"Please don't feel obliged, Bella," Esme says lightly and then hesitates. "But I would love the company…"

"Of course." I smile. "What do you want me to do?" I question, eager to finally have something to occupy myself with.

"Well, I was just about to do the bed. Would you care to help me?" she asks pleasantly.

I can't help but to grimace as I remember the only purpose a bed would serve to two vampires. Esme laughs at my face.

"Don't worry, hon. I already washed the sheets earlier today. I just need to put the sheets back on the bed."

I nod and place the door at the side of the room and follow Esme to the bed. The bed is king-sized and I see a golden brown comforter in a neat pile on the gold carpet. The whole room is huge with plenty of windows and heavy red-brown curtains with light, wooden furniture. Esme and I both grab the sheets from the floor and start making the bed. When we have finished and have perfectly positioned the pillows against the headboard, Esme and I both lay side by side on the comfy bed.

"So, Mrs. Cullen ," I start, turning to face her. I see her caramel hair sprawled haphazardly across the white pillow and her gold eyes staring intently into my own eyes.

She holds a palm up, silencing me. "Please, dear, stop calling me Mrs. Cullen."

"Okay, _Esme_." I smile. "Tell me about yourself."

Esme purses her pink lips in thought. "Well, I was born in 1895 in Columbus, Ohio and I grew up there. When I was about twenty-two, I wanted to move West and become a school teacher. However, my father didn't think I should live alone so he pressured me into marrying Charles Evenson. I accepted because it would make my father happy and because Charles seemed to be a respectable man. How wrong I was…" Esme sighs heavily.

"Anyway, when we got married, I soon found out that Charles was abusive. He beat me constantly. I went to my parents, to try to get them to help me, but they told me to just accept it and work harder to be a good wife. Thankfully, a little while later he was drafted into WWI and he went overseas. But when he came back, I found that I was pregnant. I couldn't bear the thought of having Charles raise this child that I already loved dearly, and God forbid if he physically abused my baby. So I left. I ran away. I lived with my cousin until my parents found out where I was hiding. Then I ran away again, this time more north. I became a school teacher and gave birth to my baby boy. Unfortunately, three days after his birth, my baby died of a lung infection. Realizing that I had nothing left, and the pain of losing my child too much to bear, I jumped off a cliff…" she trails off, her gold eyes distant and tainted with sadness as she lets pass memories wash over her.

"Wait, you _jumped_ off the cliff?" I ask in disbelief.

Esme nods. "You're not the only one who has tried to commit suicide, Bella."

"But—" I start to protest, but Esme holds a hand up to cut me off.

"I lost my family, too, Bella. I was at a really bad place and I just lost the will to live. I wanted to die, but now I realize that I made the wrong decision. I lived and now I have a new family." I bristle at what she's implying. "Oh, no, Bella." Esme holds both her hands up in self-defense. "I didn't mean to say that you should forget about your parents and just replace them with us. Trust me, there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my son. All I'm saying is to give living a chance. You should never give up on life, Bella."

"Life?" I repeat bitterly. "You call this half-existence, this half-living half-dead state that we have to live in forever a _life_?"

Esme sighs. "You'll see, Bella. Someday, you'll see that it _is _possible to be happy even though we are vampires."

"I know it is possible, Esme," I say. "I mean, you seem genuinely happy. I just don't think happiness is a possibility for _me." _

"I think you're wrong, Bella," she says gently. "I think it is possible. Someone like you deserves to be happy."

I disagree, but choose not to start an argument. "Maybe," I reply and then we fall into an easy silence. I think about all Esme's been through. Her abusive husband, her uncaring parents, her son dying…what a terrible life. No one, especially not someone as kind and loving as Esme, should have to go through that. "Tell me about you and Carlisle," I ask, breaking the silence, desperate to get rid of my sad and piteous thoughts.

Esme smiles unconsciously at the sound of her husband's name. "We met when I was sixteen, believe it or not. I was reading a book in a tree, and I fell off. I broke my leg and the doctor that treated me was Carlisle. He left town the next day, but in the ten years we were apart, I never forgot him. When I had jumped off the cliff, I was nearly dead. Actually, everyone thought I was so they sent me to the morgue. Carlisle, if you can believe this, was a doctor at the hospital I was sent to…if that's not fate, I don't know what is.

Anyway, being a vampire, he could hear my faint heartbeat. He also remembered me from when he treated me all those years ago so he decided to save me. He bit me and I woke up three days later to his beautiful face leaning over me. We fell in love, got married, and the rest, as they say, is history. More than eighty years later, we are still together and just as in love as we were seventy-nine years ago." Esme grins, her eyes filled with love and happiness.

I smile. I love a good love story. "That's beautiful, Esme. Truly." We fall into another comfortable silence before something suddenly registers with me. I sit up in shock and stare incredulously at Esme's pale, heart-shaped face. "Wait, _Carlisle_ bit you?" Esme furrows her eyebrows and nods hesitantly. "_Wha_t? How can you stand him? He ruined your life. He stole your soul. How can you forgive him? If I ever find out who changed me…" I trial off as I unconsciously bare my sharp teeth.

"Bella," Esme soothes gently. "I would have died without Carlsile," she says as if this explains everything.

"So?" I demand, waving my hands about. "I would rather die than be a vampire!"

Esme shakes her head in disagreement and only murmurs "You'll see."

oOo

_Tuesday Morning_

"Bella," Carlisle calls softly as he knocks at my bedroom door. "May I come in?" I sigh and roll my eyes. Today, Carlisle has the night shift so he is currently at home. I have been giving him the cold shoulder ever since Esme had told me that he changed her. Hours later, Emmett told me that he had also changed Edward, Rose, and himself. I imagine Esme had told Carlisle my reason for ignoring him and now I bet Carlisle was here to convince me that what he did was right and justified and blah blah blah.

"It's your house," I mutter bitterly as I sit cross-legged on my bed.

"Regardless, I gave you this room so I will not enter until you give me permission to do so," Carlisle answers calmly.

I sigh again. "Fine. Come in, I guess."

Carlisle easily opens the door and I feel a childish, unreasonable anger build up in me at the fact that he didn't break the door like I had done yesterday. Carlisle pokes his head in and smiles slightly at me. "Would you like to play a game of chess with me?" he asks, suddenly sounding uncertain.

I nod slowly. The only reason for my acceptance is the fact that my grandfather was a chess master and he taught me a few of his tricks. I would love to beat Carlsile at his own game. So I follow him down to the living room where we sit across from each other at the chess table. Carlisle runs a pale hand through his perfectly blond hair nervously as he sets up the chess pieces. We play in a tense silence as we both strategize and analyze each other's moves. Soon, I make my face blank and expressionless, but inside I'm giddy as I see a way to win. I move my queen so that it is right next to Carlisle's king. I see Carlisle smile softy—and I reluctantly admit that even though he _thinks_ that he is about to make a big move, he isn't boastful or smug—and he doesn't even think before destroying my queen with his king. I smirk. It is a trick my grandfather taught me. Offer up your queen, and your opponent will typically immediately take the bait without thinking of the consequence of the move. In this instance, by killing my queen, Carlisle's king stands where my queen was previously, which leaves my Bishop a clear, diagonal path towards Carlisle's king.

_Checkmate_, I think triumphantly. I smile smugly, because frankly I don't have Carlisle's maturity that causes him to not boast when he wins.

"You know, Carlisle," I say calmly as I lean back in my seat. "What I really love about chess is the relationship between the queen and king. You see, they love each other dearly, don't they? I mean, the queen protects her king, her love. And sometimes," I gesture to my queen who is standing by Carlisle's side of the board with all the other pieces I've lost, "she sacrifices her life just to keep her husband alive. Now, what can the king do? Nothing, really. I mean, he can only move one space. He's so depressed about the death of his beloved that he can't even bring it in him to find the will to really defend himself. But sometimes, the king gathers up enough strength and resolve to not let his love's selfless sacrifice be in vain. He gathers his troops and sends them in to kill…to avenge his wife's death." And very dramatically, I proceed to move my bishop across the board and knock over Carlisle's king. I smile hugely as I see Carlisle's face drop in surprise. I stand up smugly. "Thanks for the game," I say as I turn to walk away.

"Wait, Bella," Carlisle calls.

I smile. I knew he wanted more than just a game. "Yes?" I turn back to see his desperate face.

"Can we talk?" he asks. I hesitate. "Please? I know your mad, but I want to explain. You told your story and I listened, now all I'm asking you to do is extend the same courtesy to me."

How can I argue with that? I sigh heavily in consent before plopping down on the white couch.

Carlisle moves to sit next to me. "I was born somewhere in the 1640s in London, England. My mom died giving birth to me and I was raised by my dad. He was an Anglican pastor and he believed in vampires, werewolves, witches, those things. He led hunts at night in search for these monsters. He accused innocent people of being supernatural and sometimes even killed them. He claimed that he was ridding the world of evil. I hated what he did and I was disgusted at the fact that my father was murdering innocent people. But unfortunately, my dad started aging and he put me in charge of the hunts. So I did lead many hunts. But unlike my father, I actually did find a real coven of vampires. I found them in a sewer and I got everyone together and we attacked. I was bitten in the streets by one of the vampires. I knew I was changing and I also knew that my dad would personally kill me if he found out what I was. So I hid myself in potato sacks during my painful transformation. Three days later, I woke up as a monster…" Carlisle stares into the wall as he lets what he said sink in.

"What did you do when you woke up?" I ask curiously, leaning in, forgetting for the moment that I am mad at him.

Carlisle chuckles humorlessly. "You and I are very alike, Bella. Very similar. I, too, woke up believing I was a monster. I, too, tried to kill myself by jumping off cliffs and trying to drown myself. I, too, was unsuccessful and decided to live in the woods. I, too, lived in a cave. But unlike you, I didn't have your amazing self-control. When a herd of deer passed by the cave, the hunger overpowered me, and I drank their blood. When I was done I realized that I could live off animal blood instead of human blood.

For the next two centuries, I perfected my ability to resist human blood so much that even exposed, flowing blood doesn't affect me. I also studied hours upon hours about medicine and the human body. I became a doctor, and a good one at that. Then, I decided to move to the New World. I worked night-shifts at a hospital in Chicago. This was when the Spanish influenza epidemic broke out. During the epidemic, I tried my best and saved a lot of people, but still, countless of my patients died. Along my patients was Elizabeth Masen. She was dying. She told me that her dying wish was for me to do everything in my power to save her son, who was also dying because of the epidemic."

"Edward," I whisper.

Carlisle nods in confirmation. "I promised her that I would do everything I could to save Edward. So I did. I bit him. Bella, by that time I had lived almost two centuries, and I admit, I was lonely. And here was this poor boy who was going to die in a few days, who had no parents left—his father died earlier also—and whose mom was desperate for him to live. I changed him and at first, Edward was resentful of me, but over time we grew closer and Edward saw me as a second father. You know how three years later, I changed Esme because she was also at the point of death. I changed Rose who was almost dead and I changed Emmett who had seconds to live because Rose asked me to.

Sometimes, I do doubt my actions. Who do I think I am, playing God? Who gave me the right to decide who lives and who dies? But Bella, I _know_ I am better than the one who changed you. I would never change someone who had their whole life to live. I would never change someone and then abandon them and force them to figure things out themselves. You might still think that I am wrong and a bad man, but I just want you to know that I had the best of intentions and that I never wanted to hurt anyone."

I inhale deeply and let out the breath in a long puff. "I respect you, Carlisle. I hope you know that. The fact that you resist your hunger and that you save humans on a daily basis…it's incredible. You're a good man. I know that. I know you're good and the one who changed me is bad. I might not agree with your decisions, simply for the reason that, given the choice, I would have chosen death. But I can…understand your reasoning and I do see that you didn't change them out of malice or just for fun like my _sire_ did. Esme, Rose, Emmett, and Edward obviously forgave you and they love you very much. It's clear to see." I smile as I pat Carlisle's knee. "You're a good man, Carlisle." I repeat softly.

Carlisle grins and his face lights up. Yeah, he can definitely look into a modeling career. "Thank you, Bella. That's all I strive to be."

oOo

_Wednesday _

"Alice," I call in a sing-song voice as I knock on her bedroom door.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I have some questions for you, missy."

"That's great, Bella. But I have a ton of homework and—"

"Why are you avoiding me, Alice?" I cut her off in a hurt voice. Since Sunday where she gave me a tour of the house, Alice has been avoiding me for no reason—at least not one I can think of.

Alice sighs. "I'm not avoiding you," she protests weakly.

"Yes, you are," I insist. "Come on, I want to ask you a few things."

Alice sighs again. "Fine, come in."

I frown. "I can't. I don't want to break another door." In addition to breaking Esme's door, I've also broken two other doors and a coffee table. I feel terrible about it, but Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett keep insisting that it was an honest accident and that no harm was done.

I hear Alice get up from her bed and walk towards the door. She opens it and leans her small body against the doorway. "Yes?" She raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

"I want to know why you're avoiding me, and I want you to explain this whole power thing that you guys were talking about when I got here. I know what you can do."

Alice looks guiltily at the floor. "You know I can see the future?"

I widen my eyes and gasp. "Look into the future?" I exclaim. "I was going to guess that you could read minds or something like that." I snort in amusement. Alice laughs loudly and slaps her knee. I furrow my eyebrows as she clutches her stomach. "Okay…it's not that funny…"

"No, no." Alice giggles. "It's just that Edward's the one who can read everyone's thoughts."

My jaw drops. "E-Edward can r-read thoughts?" I ask incredulously.

Alice nods. "Yup."

I panic slightly. He knows everything I've been thinking! But then I calm down, telling myself that I don't care. I haven't been thinking anything bad. And plus, who cares what he thinks about me? He obviously hates me and ignores me constantly so let him know my thoughts. _Stupid pighead,_ I think bitterly. Let him read _that_.

"And I can see the future," Alice continues.

"Really? And how does that work exactly?" I question curiously.

"Well the future can change at any second. It's not set in stone. I can only see what people decide and the different outcomes of that decision. For example, earlier today you decided to open the front door and immediately I saw a vision of the door crumbling under your hands." Alice shrugs. "It was too late to stop you."

Alice's eyes fade a little for a split second before she smiles. "I would love to play rock-paper-scissors shoot with you."

I scowl because I had just decided to ask her to play. We play quickly and she wins easily, seeing me choose to use scissors. I nod thoughtfully, now satisfied that she isn't pulling my leg. "And the others? Do we all have 'powers'?"

Alice shakes her head. "Not all of us. See, Carlisle's theory is that when we change, we carry with us our most prominent human trait. For instance, as a human, Esme was extremely loving so as a vampire she has the ability to love passionately, intensely, and wholeheartedly. Carlisle was compassionate as a human and now he has an extraordinary amount of compassion for both vampires and humans. As a human, Rose was extremely beautiful so her beauty intensified over the transformation process. Edward would disagree and say that Rose's special ability is her pigheadedness." Alice giggles. "Emmett brought his strength. Edward was always a good reader of people so when he turned he possessed the ability to read minds. I had premonitions as a human and Jasper was really charismatic."

"Wait, what's Jasper's power?"

"He's an empathic. He can manipulate emotions. He knows what you're feeling and he can also change how you feel," Alice explains.

I nod. Everything makes sense now. How Jasper knew what I was feeling that day in the forest and the overwhelming amount of calm I feel when I sit in the same room as him. "And you said you had premonitions when you were a human?"

Alice smiles. "Yeah. I don't remember anything about my human life, believe it or not. I checked newspapers, the internet, and researched myself a while back. I found out that I was born in 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi. My parents put me in a mental asylum when I claimed to be able to see the future. I don't know who changed me. All I remember is waking up a vampire and having visions of living with the Cullens. But first, I saw visions of Jasper and I and I knew I had to find him. I tracked him down to an empty diner; we fell in love, and then went in search of the Cullen family. We found them, they accepted us, and here we are now, about fifty years later."

"Okay…and so why were you avoiding me these past few days?" I question.

Alice sighs. "Sorry about that. But at school on Monday, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, and I made a bet on when you would figure out our powers. I bet it would take you four days. I knew you were curious as to the whole power thing and that you would ask me about it so I avoided you. I was going to talk to you tomorrow so that you would ask and then I would give you a few hints. With my help, you would figure out that I could read the future, and then I would win."

I roll my eyes, annoyed. "I don't like you guys taking bets about me."

Alice pats my shoulder with her pale hand. "Don't worry, Bella. No one won. I was the one who gave you the most credit and said four days. The rest predicted higher."

I scowl. "Whatever."

Alice smiles, amused by my anger. "Well, come in." Alice gestures towards her room. "Now that I don't have to avoid you, I can finally give you that make-over that I've been wanting to do."

I cringe at the image of Alice putting make-up on me and forcing me into dresses. "But…uh I thought you had homework to do."

Alice shrugs. "I lied."

"Fine." I sigh as if I am surrendering.

"Bella, have you already forgotten that I can see the future? I know you are going to run away as soon as I turn my back on you."

I grin. "Wrong. I'm going to run away now." And with that I run down the hall, down the stairs, and take refuge behind Emmett's big body.

oOo

_Thursday_

"Oh," I say, startled as I unexpectantly see Jasper sitting on one of the comfy couches in the middle of the Cullen library.

"Hey, Bella." Jasper smiles at me and I smile back. He pats the spot next to him and I accept, sitting on the brown leather couch.

"Whatcha reading?" I ask curiously, peeking at the book he has on his lap. Jasper shifts the book so that I can see the title. "_The Civil War Day By Day," _I read. I raise an eyebrow. "Why are you reading that?"

Jasper shrugs. "Why not?"

I wrinkle my nose in distaste. "I hate war books. I hate reading about people killing each other and people dying and…the whole thing is just awful."

Jasper nods. "No one can argue that war is good, but I like reading about the American Civil War simply because I was part of the Confederate army."

I widen my eyes in surprise and tuck my legs beneath me as I shift towards him. "Really?"

Jasper smiles. "Yup. I was the youngest major in the army," he states proudly.

"That's fascinating, Jasper. Really. I mean _you_ were in the _Civil War_? Tell me about it," I urge.

Jasper laughs. "I thought you didn't want to hear about people killing each other and people dying."

I shrug. "I don't. I mean, tell me more about yourself," I clarify.

"Well, there's not much to tell," he says.

I smile, knowing that Jasper is a private man. "Come on, Jazz. You were in the Confederate army. There's lots to tell!" I persist. "You were born in the South?" I prompt when he remains silent.

He nods slowly. "Yes, in Texas," he answers and I've never noticed before, but his voice does have a slight Southern drawl. "I joined the army, and because of my charismatic personally, I quickly rose through the ranks. I soon caught the attention of Maria, who was a vampire who was creating an army—a newborn army. Vampires are at their strongest when they are newborns so Maria would change humans into vampires and force them into her army. During the Civil War another war was happening at the same time—vampire wars in the South. Vampires wanted more territory and so they fought.

Maria saw me and was impressed with my high ranking. She changed me and after we both discovered my ability to manipulate emotions, she made me the commander of her army. I had to train the newborns, make sure they cooperated, and then kill them when they were no longer useful. I know you will think less of me for this, Bella, but I killed humans all those years. But trust me, I had no idea that there was a whole different lifestyle, a whole different _life_ outside the South.

Anyway, I ended up befriending a newborn named Peter. He fell in love with another newborn Charlotte, but Maria wanted Charlotte dead. So Peter ran away with her and I pretended not to notice. Years later, they came back to tell me about how good life was up North, about how there weren't any wars and vampires weren't constantly fighting each other. So I ran away with them and we became nomads. But eventually I left them because I hated feeding off humans. I could feel their fear, their sorrow, all of their emotions as they slowly realized that they were going to die. It was awful. I was miserable and disgusted with myself, but one day my life changed for the better."

Jasper smiles. "It was the day I met my sweet Alice. I walked into an empty diner and she was just sitting on a stool, staring at me. I thought she was beautiful so I walked up to her. She said that I had had kept her waiting and I apologized, though I had no idea why she was waiting for me. She took my hand and together we left the diner. In her hotel room, she told me about her visions and how we were destined to be together and live with the Cullen family. She was, of course, right. We fell in love, and later joined the others."

I chew my lip in thought before grabbing Jasper's cold, pale hand in my own. I finger his numerous crescent-shaped scars that lined his arms. "So that's how you got all your scars. Newborns bit you?" I question softly, frowning as I move my hand up to trace the scars along his face.

"Don't pity me, please, Bella." Jasper begs, feeling my emotion.

"Sorry," I apologize and try to think happy thoughts.

"That's better. And to answer your question, yes I've been bitten lots of times from other vampires. Bella, I have first-hand experience on how wild and uncontrollable newborns are, which is why I'm so surprised that you are the way you are." Jasper studies me intensely and I look away, embarrassed.

"So you offered to kill me two years from now because…?"

"Because I have the most experience with killing and I know how to do it quickly and painlessly. I don't want to kill you, Bella, but I will if you want me to. Two years from now, of course, for numerous reasons. One, because if one of us don't, you can just go find another vampire and ask them to get rid of you, which they gladly would. At least this way we have two years to convince you to stay alive so I knew one of us had to do it. Emmett wouldn't be able to; he loves you already like you're his long-lost sister. Esme and Carlisle would never dream of killing someone innocent—they surely wouldn't be able to live with themselves. I can't let Alice kill her best friend. Edward is a gentleman and would never harm a lady unless completely necessary. Rose…well, Rose can be…_Rose_ at times, but she wouldn't enjoy murdering you. So that just leaves me to carry the job out. But like I said, I don't want to do it. You have an amazing gift and you shouldn't throw it away. Plus, you are so kind and sweet—"

I scoff, crossing my arms across my chest. "Why does everyone say I'm kind and sweet? I'm a _vampire_!"

Jasper laughs. "You're still nice, Bella. So is Alice, Esme, and Rose is, too, you just have to search deeper to find her kind side. All of you are kind, loving people. I'm not saying that you are not dangerous, I'm just saying that you _choose not_ to be dangerous."

I grin. "And, General Jasper, you are not what you seem to be." It's easy to assume with Jasper that he is cold simply because he is quiet, standoffish, and serious most of the time. But now I'm starting to see that that's just because he have a militaristic mindset, you know? And plus feeling everyone's emotions all the time can be tiring. "You've killed people, Jasper, countless people, but that's all in the past, right? What matters is that you regret doing it, and given the choice you would have not killed those people. You are very kind and gallant—a true Southern gentleman."

"Why thank you, m'lady," Jasper drawls, making his Southern accent more pronounced as he flips his honey blond hair to the side.

Oh, Alice is one luck lady.

oOo

_Friday_

"Bella," I hear Rosalie knock on my door. "Can I come in?"

I'm so surprised that I nearly drop the book I'm reading. "Uh…sure, Rosalie."

Rosalie opens the door and confidently enters the room. "Call me Rose," she orders.

I nod, still surprised that she is voluntarily talking to me. These past six days, she's been distant. She's not as bad as Edward who walks out of every room whenever I enter, but still…she doesn't seem to like me very much. "Is there something I can help you with…Rose?" I ask politely, moving to sit up on my bed.

"No," she states indifferently. "I just want to say that you are spending a lot of time with Emmett—"

"I don't like him that way," I blurt out, without waiting for her to finish. "I swear! We are just friends."

Rose snorts in amusement. "I know that." I breathe a sigh of relief. "I mean, no offense or anything, but he wouldn't leave _me_ for _you_." Rose laughs as if the idea is the funniest thing she's ever heard.

"Yeah, how can I not take offense to that," I murmur, rolling my red eyes. Though, I know she is right. With her long, wavy, perfectly blond hair and gorgeous features, Rose is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Now, if she was just as kind as she is beautiful…

"Anyway, before you rudely interrupted me," she says pointedly. I roll my eyes again at her dramatics. "I was going to say that any friend of Emmett is…not my enemy."

"Okay," I say slowly, wondering if that's all she wanted to say.

"And I want you to know that I don't hate you," she adds.

I raise my eyebrow. "You don't?"

"No," she confirms, moving to sit next to me on my bed. "I don't particularly like you, though."

"And why not?" I demand, slightly hurt. I hadn't done anything wrong to her.

"Well, there are many reasons—"

"Oh, woah, thanks," I mumble sarcastically.

"One reason being," Rose continues as if I hadn't spoken, "that you keep interrupting me." I laugh lightly and she smiles slightly. "I've got to admit, though, that I did hate you at first. I love my family and I thought you were lying and tricking us, but when it became clear that you were just a frightened, lost girl, my feelings of hatred lessened...sorta. Emmett likes you, so you must be a good person. But still…I just…I guess I'm a little…j-jealous of y-you." Rose looks like it causes her physical pain her admit this.

My mouth drops. "_You're_ jealous of _me_? Why?"

Rose sighs. "I don't know. It's just that we both had our lives snatched away by evil people and you've…you coped with it a lot better than I did. And I mean, _a lot_. You are really strong, Bella, and I admire that. You are stronger than I was."

"I don't understand. What do you mean?" I ask.

"As a human, I was really happy. I was beautiful and everyone loved and praised me for it. My family was rich and I could have anything I wanted. I was spoiled and vain, but I was happy. Soon, a rich man named Royce showed interest in me. Of course, all of the boys were interested in me, but Royce was so sweet to me. He sent flowers to me and said my eyes were like violets. So when he proposed I said yes.

But one day, I was visiting my friend Vera. She was middle-class, and that confused me. If she wasn't rich then how could she be happy? She was married and had a little kid. When I laid eyes on little Henry, I knew I wanted Vera's life. It was clear that her husband loved her. I wanted someone to love me like that, but most of all, I wanted kids. I realized then that Royce didn't love me. He just liked my body. He didn't hug me or kiss me on the cheek like Vera's husband did to her.

After my visit, I walked back home, still contemplating my new findings. Along the way, I bumped into Royce. It was dark out, but I could clearly see that he was drunk. He was with a bunch of his other friends, all of them intoxicated. They…they gang-raped me and beat me. They left me on the street to die. Carlisle smelled my blood and found me in the middle of the road. He changed me, he saved my life.

Later, of course, I killed Royce and his friends. Tortured them, is more like it. I never drank their blood, though. I didn't want a part of them in me." Rose shudders at the thought. "Anyway, for the first two years after I was changed, I was pretty miserable. I wanted to be human again. I still want to be human again. God, I would give anything to be human again, really. I want to have kids so badly. I want to grow old with Emmett…I want it all." Rose sighs wistfully. "Don't get me wrong, Bella. I love Emmett. He's much more than I deserve. I'm happy, truly. There's just times each day that I desperately want my humanity back. But anyways, the point is that I was rude and just terrible my first two years. But you, you had your whole life stolen, too, but here you are. You are nice to us and you haven't said a single rude thing. You've gotten over it. You've moved on. All by yourself. I never got over it until I met Emmett."

I shake my head. "I'm not over it, Rose. At night, I lay here and still mourn everything I've lost. I'm not mean because you Cullens haven't done anything bad to me. You guys have been nothing but kind," I say truthfully. "And thanks for sharing your story, Rose. Really, I know that wasn't easy." Opening up doesn't seem like something Rose does frequently.

"It's fine, Bella. I just thought you should know."

I purse my lips in thought. "It's just horrible, though. You, Esme, and Jasper have been through such hard times."

Rose nods in agreement. "And you know what made us better, how we coped with everything?"

"No. What?"

"Love." Rose sighs. "We all found love. Love is an amazing healing power."

oOo

_Saturday _

"Bella," Emmett calls as he ascends the stairs.

"Out on the deck, Emmett," I answer quietly.

I hear Emmett walk down the hall and into Carlisle's and Esme's bedroom—only their room had a deck. "Ready to hunt?" he asks as he joins me.

"Yeah," I mumble, not really paying attention to what he's saying. Instead I stare out into the woods surrounding the house and then I look at the frost covered ground. "Humans have it so easy. All they have to do is jump and poof, they're gone," I whisper.

Emmett looks at the ground, too. "Don't tell me you're still thinking of this whole killing yourself thing."

I turn to face Emmett' concerned, gold eyes. "Not constantly like I did before, but, yeah, sometimes I wonder. I mean, what happens next? Does your life really flash before your eyes like in the movies? Is there really a heaven? What if your soul goes nowhere and you're just gone?"

Emmett shrugs. "I really don't think about that stuff, Bells."

I sigh as I look back towards the beautiful view. "I know you don't, Emms. You are too optimistic, too look-on-the-bright side, too _happy_ to think about death."

"Well, maybe you can learn to be happy, too." Emmett sounds hopeful.

"Maybe. I mean, I'm content. I like living with you guys, but can I really do this? Live an eternity of just going to school every day? It seems so boring and…_empty_. I look too young to have any real job, and I can never have kids. It just seems pointless." I shake my head. "I know you don't think the way I do, Emmett, and that's mostly because you have Rose, right?"

Emmett nods and smiles at the sound of her name. "Yeah, hell a'int so bad if you get to have an angel with you." He grins thoughtfully. "But, hey, Bells, Edward doesn't have any wife, yet he's still alive."

I snort at his name. "But he doesn't seem happy either. I mean, really. What can he be doing all day in his room?"

Emmett grimaces. "He's not usually like that…" he trials off.

My body slumps at what he's implying. "I don't know why he doesn't like me," I grumble. "I never did anything to him."

"Don't worry about him, Bella," Emmett reassures. "I love him, but man can he be moody. Give him some time."

"I am," I protest. "I haven't said a word to him and neither has he spoken to me. If he wants me to leave so badly, he should just tell me."

"It doesn't matter, Bells, if he wants you to leave. You are staying here," he nearly growls.

I smile and Emmett puts an arm around me as we quietly look out into the woods.

"Hey, Em?"

"Yeah," Emmett answers, turning to face me.

I grab his hand that is hanging from my shoulder and rotate the golden wedding ring around one of his huge fingers. "Tell me about Rose's and your love story."

"Okay." Emmett grins. "So one day, I was out on some trails, but I got mauled by some stupid-ass black bear. That's how Rose found me. She was hunting in the same area. Anyway, I was nearly dead, but she saved me. She says that it was mostly because I reminded her of Vera's son, Henry, who also had brown, curly hair and dimples. So she carried me over 100 miles. She said it was very hard to resist her hunger since I was bleeding so badly. She wanted to change me and give me a second chance at life. She didn't trust herself to be able to not kill me if she started drinking from me so she brought me to Carlisle. At Rose's request, Carlisle did change me and I woke up to an angel looking down at me. I fell in love with her as soon as I laid eyes on her beautiful face. I accepted being a vampire, really, really quickly. I mean, to me, I would rather spend an eternity with my Rosie than an eternity without her."

I smile at the reverence in his voice. "That's really sweet, Em." And it really is. Rose with her vain and beauty, and Emmett with his easy-going nature don't seem like a good fit, but somehow it worked, and it worked perfectly.

"Yeah, but enough of this mushy stuff." He grins. "Let's hunt!"

oOo

_Sunday_

I walk into the living room, and of course Edward gets up from the couch and makes to leave the room, simply because he can't stand to be in the same room as me. Jerkwad.

I huff, annoyed. "You don't have to leave you know," I mutter.

Edward turns, surprised that I finally called him out on it. "Yeah, actually, I do," he disagrees.

I put my hands on my hip. "No you don't," I repeat. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Edward doesn't look at me. "I'm no good for you, Bella."

And then he walks away.

oOo

_A Week Later_

"I'm sorry, Bells," Emmett apologizes as we walk into the living room. "It's just that it's Rose's and my anniversary and—"

I hold up a hand to shush him. "It's totally fine, Em. I can go hunting by myself."

"No." A voice from the couch interrupts. Both Emmett and I are surprised to see Edward with us. And I am especially surprised that he is actually talking to me. "Never hunt by yourself. When you hunt, you lose all conscious thought. If a human is near you…" He shudders.

"Oh!" Emmett claps his hands. "You can go hunting with her, Edward."

Edward and I both widen our eyes. "I don't think that's a good idea, Emmett," Edward says.

"Me neither," I agree. "I can go alone."

"No you can't." Edward glares at me. "Do you want to kill someone, even by accident? Don't be selfish, Bella," he spits.

I glare right back at him. "Fine," I say through clench teeth. "Let's go." And I turn and walk towards the door without waiting for a response, knowing he would be forced to follow me. Seconds later, Edward is by my side, grumbling under his breath. I smirk smugly as I take off towards the woods and Edward runs by my side. We stay silent as we both scent deer and follow their scent.

"You can hunt first," I tell him.

He nods and says nothing as we approach the deer. Venom fills my mouth as I take a deep breath. The brown deer are eating on half-dead grass. I'm disappointed see that most of the deer are scrawny-looking because they aren't eating well since we're in the middle of winter. I study them and look for the biggest one. Surprisingly, it's a doe that seems the meatiest, but I listen and hear a second heartbeat coming from her stomach—she's pregnant.

Edward growls and has his dark eyes focused on the pregnant doe. He takes a few steps forward, but without thinking, I pounce and push him to the ground before he can kill her.

"What the hell?" Edward snarls, struggling to get away from me.

I straddle his body on the ground and restrain his hands over his head. "She's pregnant, Edward," I hiss. "Kill another one."

Edward shakes his head and eventually breaks free from my grasp and stands up. He stares at me for a long time while I stare up at him, still on the ground. Then he curls his lip, showing his razor-sharp teeth. "Why does it matter, Bella? We're all monsters anyway, huh?" And then he turns away and runs towards the doe. He rips her head off with one flick of his wrist.

I shake my head in disgust. "We are what we choose to be, Edward," I say quietly. "I've realized that and it's time you did, too."

And with that, I walked away.

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**Yeah I know Edward is being weird, but next chapter he's nice. And you'll start thinking that things will start getting better, but no, then it's just horrendous again, and then the chapter after that, don't even get me started on what Edward's doing then…Nah, I'm kidding, I don't know that far ahead. But yeah, it's going to take a few chapters for them to be on friendly (maybe even romantic ;)) terms. So review if you want a sneak preview of the next chapter! And this chapter was my biggest chapter by far. No, the next couple of chapters won't be so long. I'm working on updating every Tuesday so the chapters are going to be about half this size. At least for now, since it's still the beginning of the school year so I'm not swamped with homework…yet. Anywho, I hope it wasn't too boring—I know most people already know the Cullens background stories. I also hope that most of the things are accurate because I don't have my books with me so I had to use Wiki, which as we all know, is not completely reliable. **

**And so I bring a very interesting question: Would you rather be dead or be a vampire? **

**Pictures of the library, bedrooms, and such are on my profile!**

**Review! **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie **


	5. Single on Valentine's Day

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter. Thanks to Selene Eldritch, Aquarius23, twilightvampire 4ever, EnyaCullen4Ever, FelicityT, bookluva98, dolphindreaming, jadeEyre, xXbeautifulIllusionsXx, Kristin04, tina062093, Conan in love, xxxbulletxxx, aleki98, and Miruke for taking the time to review! ****Now enjoy! **

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_The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. _~Mother Teresa

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**Sunday, February 13th. 8:00 A.M. **_**(Two Weeks Later)**_

After spending four weeks with the Cullens, I have finally fallen into a comfortable routine. On the weekdays, I would spend all morning with Esme. Usually she cleaned around the house and moved furniture while I kept her company and listened to her talk about the family, her past, and all her happy memories. Then, Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, and Edward arrive from school. Emmett and I would immediately go hunting and sometimes the others would join us, but not often—they only needed to hunt once a day. When we come back, I would shower and then find Alice bouncing on my bed with a new outfit in her arms. We would argue for a bit before compromising on what I would wear. Then she would brush my hair as she told me all about her day. Next, Carlisle would arrive from his hospital shift and we would both play a friendly game of chess. Though, I was good, Carlisle has beaten me all but two times. Afterwards, we would all retire to the living room. Jasper and Emmett would play video games, Esme and Carlisle would snuggle on the couch as Carlisle read one of his medical journals. Alice and Rose would look through fashion magazines or paint each other's nails, and I would watch everyone interact with each other and sometimes join their easy, comfortable chatter. Soon I would go to the Cullen library and Jasper usually joined me. We would read silently until the sun rose and then the routine started all over again. But after a four week adjusting period, the Cullens decided today is the day to start my vegetarian training.

"Okay, Bella," Emmett says as we enter the living room where everyone is sitting around on the couches, waiting for Emmett and me. "First we need to work on your strength."

I put a hand to my dead heart in feigned shock and hurt. "My strength?" I question incredulously. "But Emmett, I've _only_ broken ten chess pieces, two chess tables, five doors, two coffee tables, and three drawers." Emmett laughs in response and slugs my shoulder. I smile before turning to Esme and Carlisle who are sitting with their pale arms around each other. "Sorry again, Esme, Carlisle," I say sheepishly to them.

"You apologize too much, dearie." Esme smiles reassuringly at me.

"And, I would just like to point out," Carlisle points a finger sternly at me as he grins in amusement. "That I've figured out your strategy. You broke those chess tables and pieces on purpose because you knew I was about to win."

I plop down on an open seat next to Jasper. "I don't know what you are talking about, Carlisle." I smile innocently at him.

"Don't believe her." Jasper warns as he ruffles my brown waves.

"Jasper," Alice, who is sitting on the other side of Jasper, protests as she pokes her husband's hard chest. "I just brushed her hair!" she huffs before winking at me.

I laugh and nudge Jasper. "Yeah, Jasper. Don't mess with the hair." I playfully flip my shinny brown hair over one shoulder.

"Whatever, Bella." He rolls his golden, amused eyes. "As I was saying earlier, don't believe her, Carlisle. There were waves of mischief coming off of her."

"Liar." I pout. Carlisle and Esme laugh, knowing who was telling the truth. They both know that I would never purposely break something that was not mine. I mock-glare at Jasper as I concentrate on feeling sad. Let's see how he likes them waves. And it's really not hard to feel sad at all. Yes, the Cullens have been a tremendous help and I feel so much better and more content than I did four weeks ago, but there is still a half of me that's a miserable girl who just wants to get out of this life.

Jasper flinches as he feels my sad emotions and he holds his hands out in surrender. "Fine, you win, cheater." Jasper bares his teeth playfully me.

I grin in victory before turning away to face Emmett and Rose kissing on the couch across from us.

"Hey!" I call, wanting to ask Emmett when we were starting the training for today, but both Emmett and Rose ignore me. "Emmett, Rose," I say in a sing-song voice.

Alice grins at me. "This works better, Bella." She grabs the yellow pillow that is sitting next to her and throws it. It lands perfectly on the side of Emmett's face.

"Hey!" Emmett protests as he draws away from Rose.

Jasper rolls his eyes. "What Emmett? Did a _pillow_ actually hurt you?"

Emmett grins before grabbing the pillow and throwing it quickly at Jasper, hitting him flat on the face. Jasper winces because apparently getting hit by a pillow does hurt when Emmett is throwing it with all his strength. Jasper growls in retaliation before picking the pillow up from the carpet and winding it up to throw it at a certain smug someone.

"_Children," _Esme scolds. "Don't play with my pillows." We all laugh in response to that. "Oh, I'm serious," Esme raises an eyebrow. She's not amused. "I spent weeks looking for the perfect shade of yellow to match the egg white couch and I will not allow you kids to ruin it." She narrows her eyes at Jasper and Emmett.

Jasper quickly passes the pillow along to Alice who puts it back in the same position it was before she threw it. I giggle quietly to myself at how small, feminine Esme could easily scare a couple of full-grown vampires.

"Okay," Rose changes the subject as she fixes her blond hair that Emmett had ran his fingers through. "So the strength exercises?" she prompts.

"Alice, darling." Jasper drawls, smiling expectantly at his wife.

Alice grins before zooming out of the room and seconds later appearing in front of me, carrying a mountain full of boxes that had to be at least twice her size. I glance at the tittle on one of the boxes and stare in disbelief. "Legos?"

"Boo yah!" Emmett fist pumps the air and bounces in excitement.

"This is going to be fun." Jasper grins.

oOo

I huff as I break yet another Lego piece. Annoyed, I carelessly throw the broken pieces into my continuously growing pile of broken Lego pieces. I glance down at what I have managed to create in just over two hours.

Nothing.

I cannot put two pieces of Legos together. They are so small, so fragile, so _breakable_. Dejected, I glance around the room. We are all laying on our stomachs on the soft, cream, living room carpet. Carlisle and Esme are laying across the room, both building a five-story, red house. Jasper is concentrating strongly on building his two foot high, dark green military tank. Alice is working next to him, constructing a purple and gold colored shopping center. Rose is on the other side of Jasper, adding another yellow Lego to her huge model of a car. Emmett is next to Rose, making a…I have no idea what that big softie is making, but he sure looks proud of himself as he stares at his creation.

I groan in disappointment as I finish studying everyone's Lego constructions. "How are you guys doing this?" I question miserably as I flick a lonesome Lego piece across the room.

Alice sighs sympathetically. "Don't worry, Bella. It gets easier."

"When?" I demand. "I mean, I can't even build Legos. Even that _thing_ Emmett made is better than nothing." I frown, disappointed in myself. Emmett is this massive guy and_ he_ can hold a tiny Lego piece without breaking it.

"Yeah, Emmett, hon," Rose cocks her head and squints at the pile of blue Legos in front of Emmett. "What is it?"

"Are you guys blind?" Emmett's mouth drops incredulously. "It's _obviously_ an underwater volcano." We all laugh at his answer and Emmett pouts. "Are you guys making fun of my masterpiece?"

"No, Em," Jasper chuckles. "We're making fun of your poor excuse of a volcano."

"An _underwater_ volcano," Emmett corrects seriously. "See? It's blue."

"It really just a pile of blue Legos," I quip.

Emmett playfully narrows his gold eyes at me. "Shut up, Bells. You've got nothing on me."

"Actually," Carlisle folds his hands together and quirks an eyebrow. "Her pile of broken pieces do seem to have a very deep meaning."

Alice nods in feign seriousness. "Yeah, I mean it really makes you think, ya know?"

I smile gratefully. "Thank you guys."

Emmett widens his gold eyes. "_What?_ Are you guys seriously saying that her broken pieces are better than my perfect _underwater _volcano?"

"It's just _so_ inspiring." Jasper wipes a pretend tear as he gazes at my creation.

Esme, Rose, and Alice clap in appreciation and I stand up to take a dramatic bow, smiling widely. Then we all burst out laughing at Emmett's baffled face.

When my giggles die down I glance around at everyone's smiling face. I've never seen a group of people so close to one another. The Cullens really care and love each other deeply. It's amazing to see them tease one another and joke around. Their easy chatter and small gestures show how much of a real family they are, and I'm so glad to be a part of it.

The first two weeks I lived here I was mostly silent and wallowed in my room. The third week I started to feel more comfortable around the Cullens and we would all talk all through the night. I got to know them so much better that by the fourth week I could comfortably join in on their banters and tease them freely. Sure, you don't have to be Jasper to know that I'm still a mess inside, but I'm so much more content than I was four weeks ago. Not happy per se—I don't think I'll ever be happy—but _content_. I'm positive that the next two years of my life will be filled with fun and laughter, and I will be a little sad to leave the Cullen family when my time is up, but I know in my heart that this life just isn't it for me. Until then, though, I will savor being close to such special people.

Alice is so sweet and enthusiastic and bubbly and kind and optimistic. Really, she's adorable. Out of all of us, she is the most graceful—when she walks she looks like she's floating on air. Her gracefulness plus her small size, short, black hair, and big smile really reminds you of a sweet pixie. She's my best friend.

Emmett is such a big softie. Seriously, don't judge him by his massive size. He really is so sweet and funny and just lovable. Even though we all tease him and joke about his silliness, we all know that he is really an intelligent guy. He's the big brother I've always wanted and I can always count on him to make me laugh.

Esme is such a kind person, so loving and accepting of everyone. I can speak honestly to her about anything and know that she will never judge me. She hates to cause anyone pain and loves her family so much. No one can possibly dislike her, it's just not possible. Here, she's Emmett's, Jasper's, Rose's, Alice's, and Edward's loving mother. Not to me, of course. I'm still and always will be mourning Renee. To me, Esme is more of an older sister or aunt.

Carlisle. I know I resented him at first, but that guy is truly amazing. He is the most compassionate person I've ever met. It's clear that he's the leader of this coven, but trust me, it bothers no one. He is truly a leader worth following. He's so intelligent and giving. Just the fact that he's spent centuries perfecting his resistance to blood just to become a doctor and heal humans speaks volumes about his character. Like Esme, though, he is simply a close friend or uncle.

Rose is…she seems like a vain and mean person—I certainly thought she was when I met her—but really, can you blame her? She's probably one of the most gorgeous women on the planet and she knows it. And she's not exactly mean, just really blunt. I mean, she's one of those people who will tell you exactly how it is without sugarcoating anything and without any regard with how much the truth is going to hurt you. And after everything she's been through, she's extraordinarily tough. She knows how to stand up for herself and doesn't take crap from anyone. But she's fiercely protective and loyal to those she loves. She still doesn't like me, or if she does, she hides it quite well. Her mood swings give me headaches—or as close to a headache as a vampire can get. One minute she's nice to me and maybe even smiles in my direction and the next minute she's glaring at me. Emmett says she'll come around eventually, which I hope is true.

Jasper is really funny and friendly. Usually he's really mellow and quiet, yet at times, like today, he can be as playful as Emmett. He's also kind and patient. I love being around him because he always sends calm waves in my direction. We've grown close over all those nights we've sat next to each other and read in the library.

Edward…well, Edward just stays in his room. He never talks to me or even looks at me. I don't know what his problem is.

Now just look at the Cullens—minus Edward, of course. Hundred year old vampires are playing with _Legos_ just to help me. If I was a human, I would have tears in my eyes right now.

"Woah, Bella," Jasper chuckles. "You're welcome."

I smile sheepishly at him.

"What?" Esme asks, confused.

"Waves of gratitude and love are just pouring out of her." Jasper smiles.

"Aww," Alice squeaks, standing up and appearing in front of me to give me a hug "We love you, too."

"Yeah, even if you can't put two Legos together." Emmett winks at me and I laugh.

"Speaking of Legos, can we do something else now?" Rose asks as she stands up. "I already finished my Lego car."

"Sure," Carlisle agrees before turning his gold eyes to me. "Chess?"

"You're going down, Carlisle," I warn.

He rolls his eyes. "Just don't break anymore tables or pieces just because you're losing." Everyone laughs and I stick my tongue out at him.

oOo

_The Next Day_

"Okay, Bella, here is another strength exercise." Esme hands me a wet cloth. I frown. Since I've been a vampire, I've made beds, but never actually attempted to clean anything. "You can do it," Esme encourages, seeing my hesitance.

I nod and take the washcloth from her. I look at the kitchen counter that she wanted me to wipe down and bite my lip. Slowly I place the washcloth on the hard surface and try to gently swipe it across the white counter. Try being the key word. I hear the counter crack at my strong pressure and I immediately flinch back. "Sorry, Esme," I whisper.

Esme smiles. "Don't worry, dear. You will get it eventually. Here, try again," she urges. I hesitate. "Just be gentle. Press with the amount of pressure you would have pressed on a bubble when you were a human."

I take a deep breath before lifting the cloth and trying again. This time, I do as Esme suggests and imagine that the counter is a fragile bubble and press down with the lightest touch. I'm amazed when I do a swipe and nothing breaks.

"There you go. Good job," Esme praises.

I smile, giddy that I am making some progress and continue to slowly and gently wipe down the white counter until it's perfectly clean.

"I'm so proud of you, Bella." Esme gives me a warm hug when I'm done. "I knew you could do it."

I smile as I hug her back. "Thanks to you, Esme. That bubble thing actually worked. Hey!" I widen my eyes in excitement. "Maybe I can try opening some doors now."

"Uh…" Esme scratches the back of her neck. "Maybe not quite yet. We'll work up to that. Baby steps and all that."

I laugh at her nervous expression and agree. "Fine. But for now, let's clean some more!"

Esme smiles and her gold eyes twinkle in amusement. "I've never seen someone so eager to clean before."

I shrug, sheepish. "I'm just glad that I can finally touch some things without worrying about the possibility that I'll break it."

Esme nods, understanding. "Then let's clean some more surfaces."

oOo

"I'm really sorry about that, Esme," I say as I concentrate on the ground.

"It's fine, Bella," she reassures. "You just have to keep practicing," she pauses. "Though try practicing on those Legos before you try cleaning any more coffee tables."

"Okay." I laugh. "And really I'll pay you back. I think that's the third coffee table I've broken."

Esme smiles. "Lucky for you, after you broke the first one, I ordered five more tables, all the exact same. They are in the attic." She points a finger at me. "I love you, Bella, but if you break three more tables, bad stuff _will_ happen," she warns, only half-joking.

I laugh again. "Don't worry, Esme. I think I'm going to stray away from any tables from now on."

"Good—" Esme starts to say before stopping short as we both hear a car driving up the driveway. I smile. Rose, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward are back from school. In a blink of an eye, Esme and I are standing on the front porch as we watch them pile out of Edward's silver Volvo. Edward quickly gives Esme a hug and peck on a cheek before going through the door and up the stairs without glancing at me. I roll my eyes before turning back to face Jasper and Emmett who both have their arms around their wives. Esme gives everyone a hug and wave in greeting.

Alice excitedly grabs my hands in her pale ones when she reaches me. "Come on, Bella." She starts to tug me towards the stairs.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Where are we going?"

Rose appears at our side. "We'll explain once we get upstairs," she promises as she starts to lead the way up the stairs. I'm so shock that Rose is actually initiating contact with me that I silently let them drag me to Rose's room.

I groan as I see tons of plastic bags on Rose's and Emmett's bed. "Not another make-over," I whine.

"No," Alice says and then pauses. "Well, yes. But this time_ you_ are going to give _us_ a make-over."

"What?" I wrinkle my forehead.

"Another strength exercise," Rose explains.

"Yeah, and we need to look good for our men tonight," Alice adds, winking at me.

"Why?" I ask.

Rose looks at me incredulously. "It's Valentine's Day!"

I bite my lip in thought. "Really?"

"How do you not know this, Bella?" Alice questions, putting her hands on her hips in disbelief.

"I've lost track of time, I guess." I shrug defensively. "Anyway, let's get this over with. What do you want me to do first?"

"My hair," Rose instructs as she moves to sit in front of the vanity mirror and Alice hands me a brush. It breaks as soon as soon as I get a grip on it.

"Sorry," I whisper sheepishly, shuffling my feet.

Alice laughs. "And that, my sister, is why we got all of these." She flips one of the plastic bags laying on the bed over and ten brushes come spilling out along with multiple hair and make-up accessories.

"Now, hold on to them gently, Bella. Really concentrate," Alice instructs as she offers me another pink brush in her outstretched hand.

I nod and imagine that she is holding a bubble out to me. I slowly take the brush/bubble from her and smile when it's in my hands. I walk towards Rose and stand behind her. "Ready?" I smile, still slightly in shock that Rose is really allowing me to brush her hair.

Rose nods as she fluffs her blond hair. "Just don't pull any hair out," she warns dangerously.

"I won't," I promise as I bring the brush to the top of her head. Still holding the brush with the softest touch of my fingertips, I run the brush through her blond waves.

"Ow!" Rose flinches away from me and holds the back of her head. "Not so hard," she says through clenched teeth.

"Sorry!" I squeak.

I see Rose take a deep, calming breath before she slowly sits back on the seat. I run the brush through her hair again, this time paying attention to Rose's facial expressions. As soon as her face started to turn into a grimace, I would slow down and work on being gentler. I smile once I get the hang of it.

"Good job, Bella," Alice praises me. "Now that we got the tangles out, we need to start styling her hair. How do you want it, Rose?"

Rose purses her lips in thought. "Up," she decides after a minute. "Emmett loves it when my hair is up and my neck is exposed."

I grimace. "There was no need to add that last part."

Rose and Alice laugh while I continue brushing Rose's hair, making sure that I've gotten every tangle undone. And then, under Alice's guidance, instructions, and encouraging words, I shape Rose's beautiful hair into an elegant bun.

"Perfect." Alice claps her hands.

"Yeah, nice work, Bella." Rose smiles teasingly at me through the mirror. "You _only_ broke like twenty hair pins."

"They are so _freaking_ small," I grumble irritably before laughing at myself.

They laugh, too. "Okay," Alice says. "Now time for make-up."

This part was harder seeing as I know nothing about applying make-up. Rose and Alice help me, though, and I successfully put on lip-gloss, a little blush on Rose's cheeks, some mascara, and smoky eye shadow and voila. I didn't break that much. Okay, okay, but I only broke three blush brushes, two mascara cases, and four lip-gloss bottles.

"You're beautiful, Rose," Alice whistles when I'm finished.

"I know." Rose smirks as she blows a kiss to her reflection in the mirror. Alice and I roll our eyes at each other before laughing.

"Get up, Rose McVain." Alice playfully pushes her. "It's my turn."

Rose grins as she stands up and Alice sits down. Rose hands me a brush and a bottle of hair gel. Ten minutes later, Alice's black, short hair is styled into adorable black spikes and she has red lipstick, light blush, and eye makeup on.

"Thanks, guys," I say as I lay down on the bed. "That was fun. It helped a lot, too. I broke a lot less stuff the second time around."

"No problem, Bella," Rose dismisses with a wave of her hand.

"Now, Rose, show her your dress," Alice urges, bouncing on her toes in excitement.

Rose nods and smiles in agreement before disappearing into her huge walk-in closet. She walks out moments later wearing a strapless, tight, curve hugging red dress that stops mid-thigh with two-inched black heels.

"Woah," I breathe as she twirls around. "You're gorgeous, Rose." It's true. Her dress is perfect, her heels make her legs look ten-feet long, and—if I do say so myself—her make-up and hair are done flawlessly.

"Yeah, Rose," Alice agrees, nodding her head vigorously. "Emmett won't know what hit him."

"Thanks guys." Rose smiles genuinely at us. "Now show us your dress, Alice."

Alice grins before leaving for her room and coming back. She saunters into the room and twirls gracefully on the toe of her four-inched black heels.

"Well?" She places her hands on her hips expectantly.

Rose and I both clap. She's wearing a tight black dress that contrasts perfectly with her pale skin. The straps are tied behind her neck and the dress is backless.

"Beautiful, Alice," I praise honestly.

"Yeah," Rose nods and smiles at her sister. "Completely gorgeous."

Alice grins widely and hugs us both. "I'm so excited!"

"We can tell," Rose and I say at the same time and then laugh. Alice is practically vibrating in excitement.

"You're adorable, Alice." I can't resist hugging her again. "Jasper's going to be practically drooling."

At the sound of her husband's name, Alice smiles. "He's so sweet." She taps her forehead knowingly, telling us that she knew what he was going to do later today.

"Alice," Rose protests, shoving her. "You really should let that guy surprise you," she scolds.

Alice shrugs, unapologetic. "I can't help what visions I get," she says innocently.

Rose and I roll our eyes. "So where are Jasper and Emmett taking you guys?" I question.

"I don't know much. Jasper's getting good at hiding these things from me." Alice huffs as if nothing annoyed her more than her husband wanting to surprise her. "I caught the necklace he got me, but that's it. I know that he's going to take me somewhere and then we are going to the Valentine's Day dance at the school."

"I don't know much either." Rose shrugs. "Emmett's hasn't been telling me anything. All I know is that we're going to show those humans how to really dance." She smirks.

I bite my lip as I stare at them, all beautiful and excited to spend a romantic night out with their men. "I'm jealous," I admit, sighing.

Alice smiles understandingly. "You'll find someone, Bella," she reassures.

Rose laughs loudly. "Can you imagine Emmett's reaction if some guy tried to hit on her?" She laughs again.

"And Jasper," Alice adds, giggling. Rose nods in agreement. "They'll both go ballistic if someone tried to date their _baby_ sister." Alice pinches my cheek when she says baby.

I growl. "Baby?"

Alice nods. "Baby," she confirms. "I mean, you're only seventeen," she teases.

"Well at least I don't look like I'm fifteen," I tease back. "Face it, little pixie, even in those heels, I'm still taller than you."

Alice rolls her eyes and smiles at me. "Whatever."

Rose grins. "Okay, enough talk, let's go."

"Oh! Wait here," I demand. Alice smiles as she sees what I'm going to do and I sprint down the stairs to find Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme waiting in the front foyer.

"Wow," I whistle as I see Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle in tuxes. "Looking good, guys."

Emmett pops his collar. "Don't we know." He grins.

I laugh and roll my eyes. "And you're breathtaking, Esme," I add sincerely. She's wearing a gorgeous, deep green cocktail dress with her caramel locks in an updo.

"She is," Carlisle agrees, rubbing his nose sweetly against Esme's nose.

I grin at the sight. "Where are you guys going?" I ask curiously.

"Carlisle's not telling me." Esme rolls her eyes.

Carlisle smiles. "Don't act like you don't like my surprises."

"I don't like your surprises," Esme corrects, "I love them."

Carlisle's smile widens as he leans in to kiss her sweetly. I look away to give them their privacy and turn to face Emmett and Jasper who are both tapping their feet in anticipation.

"Emmett, Jasper," I smile. "I would like to present to you Mrs. Rosalie Cullen and Mrs. Alice Cullen," I say with a flourish of my hand and at that exact moment, Rose and Alice appear at the top of the stairs.

Emmett hisses inwardly and Jasper's breath catches as they see their wives descend the stairs slowly. They both step forward to greet them at the last step.

"My darling." Jasper twirls Alice around slowly. "How did I get so lucky?" he murmurs softly as he gazes into Alice's loving, gold eyes.

"Rosie, baby," Emmett breathes as he takes Rose into his big arms. "There are no words," he whispers in awe.

Feeling an ache in my chest and suddenly feeling like the seventh wheel, I say my goodbyes. They don't notice me and I walk slowly up the stairs.

As I enter my bedroom, I realize that I am alone in the house with only Edward Cullen on Valentine's Day.

oOo

_Three Hours Later_

I timidly knock on his bedroom door. I hear him move around before he opens the door.

"Isabella," he greets shortly.

"Uh hi, E-Edward." I bite my lip nervously. "I…uh I mean, Esme washed your clothes and…yeah." I shyly offer him the sweatshirt and shirt that I borrowed the first night I stayed with the Cullens.

Edward takes the bundle of clothes from me. I rock awkwardly on my heels as he doesn't say anything in response.

"Okay…well I'll just be…going." I stupidly point towards my own bedroom door that is across the hall. "So good nig—"

"Would you like to come in?" Edward suddenly asks. Then he looks at the ground almost shyly as if he didn't mean for those words to blurt out.

I blink in surprise. "Uh…sure! Yeah, I'd love to." I try to smile.

Edward nods before opening his door wider and gesturing for me to enter. I bite my lip as I step in and survey the room. I've never been inside his room before. His walls are a light gold color with a shaggy golden carpet to match. One wall is covered with CDs and another has a huge stereo system. The first thing I notice, however, is that there is no king-sized bed in his room. Just a simple, black, leather couch.

"I apologize." Edward clears his throat. "It's a bit messy."

"Oh no." I glance at the pile of books on the couch, CDs everywhere, and clothes laying around. "It's fine, really," I reassure, smiling at him.

Edward nods before plopping down on his couch, clearing some room, and patting the seat next to him. I sit down a little bit away from him and we sit there awkwardly for a few minutes.

"Hey, Isabella?" Edward suddenly asks, leaning towards me.

"Yes?"

"Hypothetically speaking, would you rather know the truth about something that concerns you even though it could really hurt you, or would you rather just not know? Ignorance is bliss and all that."

"Oh, I would definitely rather know the truth. I don't enjoy being lied too," I answer truthfully.

Edward nods slowly. "Okay, well I just want to say that…"

"Yes?" I prompt when he doesn't continue.

He runs a hand through his bronze hair. "I don't know how to start," he admits.

"Start at the beginning," I suggest, tucking my feet underneath me and shifting so I can see his beautiful face more clearly. "Come on, everyone's told me their life story. Now it's your turn." Edward hesitates and I sigh. "Carlisle changed you…" I gesture for him to continue the tale. He stays silent so I keep talking to fill the silence. "I get why he changed you, I totally do. At first I didn't, but now…I'm not saying I agree with it, but I can see where he's coming from. Still, if Carlisle had changed me even if I was dying, I would not like him at all and it would definitely take a long time for me to forgive him. So imagine how I feel towards the person who actually did change me." I clench my fists. "I hate whoever did it. I hate whoever took my life and humanity away from me. If I ever see him or her…" I trail off, too angry to finish the thought.

Edward stays silent during the rant and only looks at the ground. It takes a while, but he finally looks up. "The others…they should be coming soon."

I bite my lip, wondering if that was his way of saying that he wanted me to leave. "Oh…okay." I stand up and he doesn't stop me. I turn to walk away before I change my mind and sit back down.

"Hey Edward?" I question.

"Yes?"

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh…" Edward pinches the bridge of his nose. "I just wanted to tell you that I actually can't read your thoughts."

I wrinkle my forehead. "But Alice said…"

"I can read thoughts," Edward corrects. "Just not yours."

"Why not?" I ask, leaning towards him curiously.

Edward shrugs. "Your guess is as good as mine, Isabella."

I let that sink in. "But you told Jasper and Carlisle that I wasn't having malicious thoughts that day in the forest. And how did you know I wasn't lying when I said I was three weeks old?"

For a quick minute, Edward looks at a loss for words before he recovers. "You can't lie, Bella," he states simply.

"I can, too," I say defensively, crossing my arms across my chest.

"No, you can't. You have a tell."

"Well, what is it?"

Edward chuckles and I take a moment to savor the perfect, harmonious sound before I realize that he's laughing at me.

"What?"

"It's just that you don't know that you're even doing it." He smiles crookedly at me and my breath catches at the sight. "Every time you lie or are embarrassed you touch your cheek with your fingers."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Really?" I purse my lips in thought. "Oh, it's probably because when I was human, I blushed a lot. So maybe I just unconsciously touch my cheek to see if it's there."

"Interesting." Edward stares intently at me again.

"What?" I ask self-consciously.

He grins. "You're doing it again."

I giggle as I see that I am touching my cheek.

Edward smiles at me and for a while we gaze at each other before I turn my stare away and look shyly at the ground. We don't say anything and an awkward silence follows.

"Um…so I should probably go. The others are coming…"

Edward stands up. "Yeah, yeah," he agrees.

I stand up, too, and he walks me to the door. I step into the hallway and turn towards my bedroom door.

"Oh, Isabella," Edward calls quietly right as I am about to enter my room.

I almost trip in my haste to turn back around. "Yes?" I question eagerly.

He chuckles. "Just…when they come back they're going to…you know..."

"I know…"

"Yeah, so it helps me if I listen to music."

"Ah. Well, I like to read. It takes me into another world so I just lose sight of what's happening around me." I bite my lip as I come to an understanding that Edward and I _finally_ have something in common—we are both single in a household full of three loving couples.

Edward nods. "Well…goodnight, Isabella." He scratches the nape of his neck.

"Yeah…good night."

Edward smiles and then turns away and walks towards his room.

"Edward?" I call at the last second. I giggle softly as he hurriedly turns back around and takes an eager step towards me. "Call me Bella." I tell him, smiling hugely as I turn around and walk into my bedroom.

* * *

**Edward and Bella are so awkward around one another this chapter. Haha. 'Kay so it looks like Bella and Edward are finally making some progress, but nope. I'm pretty sure most of you guys won't like the next chapter 'cuz Edward is back to being a jerk, but hey after that, they finally have the big talk where Bella gets some answers. Some, not all. Anywho, I know I'm late for updating, but I was so busy last week that I didn't have any time to post this. And next week I have a huge essay due, but I'll try to update next week, if not then definitely the week after. So yeah, if you want a sneak preview of the next chapter, review!**

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	6. Maybe I Should Leave

**Chapter 6 is here! Thanks to those who reviewed—Grand Immortal Blindmerman, dolphindreaming, aleki98, kristella101, HeyThereBuddy, melanieintn, xXbeautifulIllusionsXx, EJ Masen SARW, alicefan32, Twilighter930, DizzyIzzyCullen, CharmedMilliE, Nissa-Cullen, bookluva98, tina062093, twilightsaga96, Kristin04, and xxxbulletxxx. ****Enjoy!**

* * *

"_Every person has the power to make others happy.  
Some do it simply by entering a room -  
others by leaving the room."_

-William Arthur Ward

* * *

**Monday, February 15th—11 P.M.**

You'd think that after our little conversation yesterday, Edward and I would have made some progress in the friend department. You'd _think_. But that's not the case. I don't even get a little smile when we pass each other in the hallways; it's actually worse than it was before, if that's even possible. I have no idea why he's being such a jerk. I've got to admit, it hurts. Is it me? Does he not like me? Am I not good enough for his stupid standards? I mean, Alice said he was picky, but come on. I'm not asking for him to be all buddy buddy with me; all I want is for him to not completely ignore me and avoid me like I'm the plague.

I sigh heavily as I stand up from my bed and walk out of my room. As I stroll down the hallway, I see Edward coming up the stairs.

"Hey Edward," I greet quietly, hopefully, smiling shyly at him.

He bites his lip as he stares intently at me. For a second, it looks like he's about to say something, but instead he just walks past me without a word. I sigh again and grumble to myself. One of these days I'm going to explode and finally demand an answer from him. I slowly descend the stairs and enter the living room where I know everyone is. What I don't know, however, is what the Cullens have in store for me.

"Hey, Bella," Alice smiles brightly at me as if what I'm seeing is completely normal.

"Uh, hey," I greet cautiously as I survey the room. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rose are all sitting in a circle on the living room carpet. Not only that, in front of each of them laid a sheet of Bubble Wrap—you know, those sheets that are plastic-filled with air bubbles. "What's all this?"

"Well, I know how it helped you yesterday to think of cleaning the counter as the equivalent of cleaning a fragile bubble," Esme starts, "so we decided to get some bubble wrap so that you can deal with some real air bubbles."

"Yeah, Bella." Jasper grins at me. "We know you've been feeling down lately because you keep breaking things, so we wanted to help you."

"Aww." I smile hugely at everyone, feeling my heart clench. "That's so sweet, guys. Thank you," I say sincerely.

Carlisle waves his hand dismissively. "Think nothing of it, sweetheart."

Alice stands and hands me a long sheet of Bubble Wrap. She grins at me. "We all had trouble with our strength, Bella. You're doing great, okay? Don't beat yourself up about it."

I smile and peck her black spikes in silent gratitude. I take the wrap from her and sit down next to Emmett.

He grins happily at me. "Let's pop some bubbles!"

Rose rolls her golden eyes. "Emmett, the point is to _not_ pop the bubbles."

Emmett ponders this for a split second before shrugging his big shoulders. "Then let's not pop bubbles!" We all laugh in response.

Of course, with Emmett and Jasper, everything has to be a competition.

"Okay, guys," Jasper says after we calmed down. "For a whole hour we are all going to press on the bubbles. At the end of the hour, whoever pops the least amount of bubbles wins."

"That's stupid," Rose protests. "We all know Carlisle is going to win."

It's true. Out of all of us, Carlisle is undoubtedly the one with the most self-control. Carlisle shrugs in response and smiles as he stretches his long legs in front of him.

"Baby, please," Emmett sounds insulted. "I've got this."

Carlisle frowns and furrows his eyebrows. "Really, Emmett?"

Emmett's bright gold eyes challenge his father. "It's on, Carlisle."

"Please, guys, we all know who really is going to win." Jasper points at his chest with both of his thumbs.

Rose, Alice, Esme, and I roll our eyes at each other. Men.

I giggle as I cross my legs and pull the bubble wrap onto my lap. "I'll actually be the victor." I grin.

Everyone laughs in amusement.

"Good one, Bella," Emmett punches my shoulder as he continues to chuckle. "You're funny, squirt."

I stick my tongue out of him and he sticks his own right back at me—oh, it's on.

_One Hour Later_

So of course I loose. No one, not even me, is surprised. But, I'm happy to say that as the minutes passed, I really improved. I only popped twenty bubbles and that was only in the first half-hour; the last half-hour I didn't pop any. Emmett ended up popping a lot of bubbles. Whenever he pressed down too hard, he would curse loudly and Esme would sternly scolded him. Twenty minutes in, it was clear that the contest was really only between Jasper and Carlisle. Jasper ended up winning only because he kept making everyone around him feel nervous and exhausted. Carlisle keeps insisting that he really won because Jasper cheated, but Jasper continues to smile smugly. But what I like most about the whole bubble pooping is that everyone popped at least one bubble. It makes me feel better knowing that even after years of practice, they still have some trouble with controlling their strength. And it also made me feel so…so…so _loved_ to see the Cullens do anything they can to help me, even if it means sitting around with Bubble Wrap.

As Carlisle and Esme snuggle on the couch and Rose talks to them, I grab one of the pillows from the sofas, set it on Jasper's lap, and lay my head on it. I plop my feet on Emmett's lap and close my eyes contently.

"Comfortable, Miss Bella?" Jasper asks as he moves a strand of hair away from my face.

I hum in response and smile up at him.

"Emmett?" I ask when I feel him pick up a foot nd study it.

"It's just so tiny," he murmurs as he drops it and it lands unceremoniously back onto his lap.

I laugh and wiggle my toes. He flicks my big toe playfully before returning to his video game.

"So Bella…" Alice moves to lay down and sets her head right next to mine so that we are both resting on the pillow.

"So Alice…"

"I was thinking…"

"Thinking is good…"

Alice smiles. "Okay, I'm going to say something and you're not going to like it, but you might as well not argue with me because I know that eventually you'll say yes." She taps her temple knowingly.

I roll my eyes. "We'll see, Alice. Ask away."

"Okay, so you know how you've been borrowing Rose's, Edward's, and Esme's clothes?" I nod warily. "Well, I was thinking that it was time we get you your own clothes…"

"No." My response is immediate.

Alice pouts. "Why not?"

"Because you guys already do so much for me. There is no need to go spending hundreds of dollars for a whole new wardrobe when I'm going to be gone in less than two years anyway." I shrug nonchalantly.

The whole room, which was previously filled with Emmett's video game noises and Carlisle's, Esme's, and Rose's conversation, goes silent at my words.

"Bella…" Emmett growls.

"What?" I sit up and try to lean my head against Jasper's shoulder, but he moves away from me. "What?"

"You're not going anywhere," Emmett states firmly.

I raise an eyebrow as I scowl at him. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do."

"I'm your big brother! Damn straight I can tell you what to do!"

I cross my arms over my chest. "You are my big brother, Emmett," I agree quietly. "But I'm not a baby. I can make my own decisions. Right Jasper?" I turn towards him for support.

He runs a hand through his blond hair. "Uh…" I narrow my eyes. "Yeah," he mumbles quietly.

"Jasper, I swear, if you touch one hair on her…" Emmett squeezes his fist, too angry to continue.

My own anger and annoyance at Emmett fades at his tortured expression as I move towards him and give him a hug. He squeezes me to his side and pecks the top of my head. "I thought you were happy now. Why do you want to leave?"

"Oh, Emmett," I murmur. "I love you. I love all of you, but I'm not happy. I feel…purposeless. I just…this life isn't for me, Emmett."

"We all felt that way when we were first changed, Bella," I'm surprised to hear Rose speak up. "I was a train-wreck, you know that. But now look at me. I have a wonderful husband," she smiles sincerely at Emmett, "and the family I've always wanted. I wish more than anything that I was human, Bella, but I don't wish to die."

"I know," Esme turns her gentle eyes towards me, "that all the new scents and abilities, the hunger, and the super strength can be overwhelming, but it gets better, sweetie."

"I _know_ it gets better." Alice taps her head.

"We all want you to stay," Carlisle adds softly.

"Look, I appreciate all that you've guys done for me, it's more than I deserve, but we had a deal." I stare pointedly at Jasper. "_Right Jasper_?"

"Uh…yeah…" He ducks his head as five pairs of golden eyes stare him down.

"Then it's settled." I stand up. "I'll be in my room." And with that I head up the stairs.

And no one follows me.

oOo

As I'm about to enter my bedroom, I hear the door behind me open. I turn around and see Edward leaning against his bedroom doorway. I can't even feel happy that he's finally acknowledging my presence because he's actually glaring at me with his dark, topaz eyes.

"You're really something," he says quietly, shaking his head, forcing his bronze hair to sway with the movement.

I raise an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Quite selfish, actually, in my opinion."

"_Excuse me?_"

"You think I'm happy?" He points at his chest. "Do you think I'm even remotely happy? Do you think I like this existence? I've been a vampire for over eighty years! You've been turn less than two months ago. And _you_ want to die?" He laughs sardonically. "You're a vampire. Get. Over. It."

For a moment, I'm at a loss for words, but then rage builds and I explode. "What is _wrong _with you?" I growl.

At my tone, his face softens and his stern, harsh expression turns gentle. _Damn_, this guy is _so_ bipolar. It's giving me a whiplash.

"You shouldn't kill yourself, Bella," he says seriously and quietly.

I shake my head in disbelief and take two steps forward so that I'm standing right in front of him. I lean forward so that our noses are almost touching. I ignore the effect his beautiful face and scent has on me and bare my teeth. "Don't you dare," I say calmly, staring intently into his wide eyes. "Don't you _dare._ You've been ignoring me for weeks! You act like I don't even exist! You have no right, you have no _right_ to come out here and pretend that you care about me when we both know that you care nothing for me. You_ hate _me. You know what? I bet you want nothing more than for me to die."

Edward's face is a mask of horror and he unconsciously shakes his head in protest. "Bella—"

"Isabella," I growl. He's lost the right to call me by my nickname.

He narrows his eyes. "_Isabella_, you can't honestly believe that. You…I…" he trails off.

I turn my gaze to the ground. "You hate me," I whisper, feeling defeated.

"No, B—Isabella, no," he whispers back.

I look back at his tortured face. "_Maybe_ you don't hate me, but you don't like me either. You've made that clear. So I'll appreciate it if you stop acting like you care about what happens to me."

He sighs and runs a hand through his bronze hair. "Believe what you want," he says so quietly that I almost can't hear him. "But," he says louder, "you can't say I don't care about my family. I heard the conversation you guys had just now, Isabella, but most of all," he taps his forehead, "I heard their thoughts. They hid it well, but really, they were devastated when you brought up your plan to kill yourself. Just…heartbroken."

"They were perfectly happy when I met them and they will move on and continue being happy after I'm gone," I say firmly.

He shakes his head. "You don't believe that. You can't. They _love_ you, Isabella. You've been here for a little over one month, but you've stolen a piece of everyone's heart."

"They don't need me," I disagree.

"They do, Isabella, they do. More than you know," he refutes. "You're Alice's best friend—"

"She has Rose," I interrupt.

"True, and Alice loves Rose, but she can have more than one best friend. She loves you and you're her little sister. Rose admires you and cares for you, even though you can't see it. She doesn't want you to die, but she doesn't want you to be miserable either. The only thing stopping her from shifting to your side and supporting your decision is Emmett. God, Isabella, Emmett adores you. He thinks you're the sweetest little thing. You're his baby sister; he'll do anything for you."

"Emmett has Alice for a little sister," I protest feebly.

"You don't understand; Alice is his little sister, yes, but you're his _baby _sister. I know you hate that term, but you truly are so much younger than the rest of us. Emmett would go to the end of the world to protect you."

"And Jasper?" I whisper.

"And Jasper," Edward whistles. "He's normally so standoffish around strangers, but you tore down his walls almost as fast as Alice did. He hates it when you feel sad and is constantly sending you calming waves. You don't know what you're asking him to do. It will kill him to have to kill you. Literally. He'd _never_ get over it. Like I said, selfish," Edward says matter-of-factly. I let out a soft growl in anger, but he continues before I can respond, his voice a lot louder than before. "Carlisle and Esme. You may not think of them as you're parents, but you are in every way their daughter. Carlisle adores you. He thinks you're precious. And Esme," Edward swallows heavily, "Esme loves you, Isabella. You know how powerfully she loves. She already lost one child…she'll be heartbroken if you…Are you really going to put Esme through all that? Dear sweet Esme? Really? How cruel can you be?"

I growl again. "What about you, Edward?" I spit his name. "You've told me about how everyone else feels about me. What about you, huh?"

He ignores me. "What you're planning on doing will cause so much pain to this family who has done nothing but love you!"

"Well then since I'm so _selfish_ and _cruel_, maybe I should just leave and spare them the pain!" I say loudly, right in his face.

"Maybe you should!" he replies just as loudly.

"Fine!" I scream. "Good bye, Edward," I sneer. "It sure wasn't a pleasure to meet you." And with that I turn around and slam my bedroom door. I walk towards the closet and search for a suitcase. I find one and prepare to pack. But that's when I realize something…I don't have anything to pack.

I don't have anything in this world.

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**I know, I know. Short chapter and it took longer for me to update. I'll make it up by trying really really hard to update a week from now. Reviews would motivate me :) and you'd get a sneak preview—I know you guys want to know what happens next. And I'm happy to say that that was the last of jerkward. Though, he wasn't really being mean—just stating his opinion, which truthfully does have some truth to it. Anywho, this really needed to happen because this fight is going to be the catalyst that is going to make them finally talk, which I know is what we all want. **

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	7. Forgiveness

**Hey! Here's chapter 7. Big thanks to those who reviewed—1BrownEyedGirl1, Nissa-Cullen, bookluva98, drumbjo, kristella101, tina062093, KilledrChaos, dlajmc, twilightvampire 4ever, Conan in love, Twilighter930, EnyaCullen4Ever, alicefan32, Cullen-madness, Kristin04, jadeEyre, xxxbulletxxx, DizzyIzzyCullen, aleki98, writingnut2010, twilightsaga96, and dolpindreaming. ****Enjoy!**

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_Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. _~Paul Boese

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**Tuesday February 16th 3:00 A.M.**

I concentrate fully and feel a rush of pride as I quietly open the window without breaking it. I stick my head out and see that its pitch black outside for there is no moon or stars in sight. It's also raining and really windy. I sigh. Great. I glance down and I swallow heavily as I see just how far away the ground is. I hesitate briefly before shaking my head and repeating the reasons of why I'm doing this. With renewed strength, I perch myself on the window sill. Taking a deep breath, and closing my eyes, I jump.

I open my eyes once I feel my feet make contact with the wet grass. I look up at the window I just jumped out of and nod to myself, impressed that I had jumped so silently and stealthily. I glance at the white, grand house one last time, silently say goodbye, and take off in a sprint towards the woods.

Once I'm five minutes in, I slow down to a walking pace. I stuff my hands into Esme's brown coat and continue walking through the dark forest. I breathe out slowly and see my breath puff out. I shake my head, water droplets flying from my wet hair as I do so. Man, do I hate the rain. My heart clenches as I remember the sunny, deep blue sky of Phoenix. I look around and wonder how in the past two months my life has changed so drastically. From living happily with my mom, to living in the woods all alone, to living with the Cullens, to now living on my own again. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I almost fall to the ground in shock when something jumps out from behind a tree.

"Wha-?" I place a hand over my dead, unbeating heart in fright. I breathe a sigh of relief when I recognize the bulky figure standing ten feet away from me. "Emmett, you scared me."

I gasp as another figure jumps onto my path from behind another tree. I growl in annoyance. "Stop popping out from trees. You guys scared the bejesus out of me."

They ignore what I said. "What are you doing out here?" Jasper asks calmly as he steps next to Emmett, both of them with their arms crossed and blocking my path. Jasper is hiding his emotions behind a blank face, but Emmett is clearly frustrated.

"I could ask you guys the same thing."

"Alice saw you decide to run away and sent us after you," Jasper answers.

I clench my teeth and cross my arms. "Don't say it like that. _Run away_. Like I'm some rebellious, spoiled teenage running away from my parents because I didn't get my way."

Jasper continues as if I hadn't spoken. "Now, your turn to answer the question. What are you doing?"

"Edward said—"

"Oh no you don't," Emmett interrupts. "Don't blame this on Edward. Alice had a vision of you leaving as soon as you walked up the stairs. You decided to leave before you even talked to Edward."

"Didn't you realize that Alice would see your decision?" Jasper questions as he raises an eyebrow.

"I knew Alice would know see…I just didn't think…" I trail off.

"Didn't think what?" Jasper leans forward. "Didn't think we'd follow you? Did you seriously expect us to just let you go? You didn't even say goodbye!"

"I didn't say goodbye because I knew you guys would try to stop me," I answer simply.

"Damn straight we would try to stop you!" Emmett exclaims. "What do you think we are doing now?"

"I think you guys need to go home. I, on the other hand, really should get going." I firmly step around them and walk away.

"You can't get away from us," Emmett says quietly from behind me.

"Yeah, you're acting as if you can outrun us." In a blink of an eye Jasper is standing in front of me, blocking my path.

"As if you're stronger than us." Emmett appears in front of me and flexes his muscles.

I growl. "You guys can't force me to go back with you."

Once again, they disregard what I say. "What are you doing Bella?" Jasper asks. "Do you know that everyone is distraught back home? Can you imagine what Esme is feeling right now? How can you be so selfis—"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why is everyone calling me selfish? Do you think I'm doing this for me? Do you think I _want_ to leave you guys and live in some barren cave all by myself for the rest of _eternity_? Do you think this is what I want? No! I'm doing this for _you guys_."

"But we don't want you to leave," Emmett insists, his gold eyes burning with honesty.

"All I do is cause you guys pain, Emmett. I need to leave," I tell them firmly. "You've guys have done so much for me and I have nothing to give you in return."

"You don't really believe that, do you, Bella?" Jasper asks incredulously.

"It's true," I persist. "I don't have any money and I just mope around most of the day. I'm broken. I'm a burden."

Emmett closes his eyes in exasperation. "Bella, you've got to be kidding me."

"Do you think we'll be out here in the middle of the woods at night, getting soaking wet, trying to convince you to come back home, if we thought you were a burden?" Jasper questions, running his pale, long fingers through his wet, blond hair. "No one wants you to leave."

I sigh. "I'm either going to leave now, Jasper, or less than two years from now. And clearly leaving now will save you guys a bucketful of pain," I argue.

"Do you remember the deal we've made?" he counters. I nod, slightly confused at his sudden change of subject. "So I take it that you remember your part of the bargain? The deal is that you spend two years with us, learning how to be a vegetarian, and if by the end of the two years, you are still miserable, then I will kill you. Now, I'm planning to keep up my end of the deal no matter how much it pains me, the least you can do is keep up your part of the deal."

I bite my lip as I turn my gaze towards the ground.

Emmett continues, knowing my resolve was shaking. "You're not a burden to us. We love you and we want you to stay. It's that simple."

"And, Bella," Jasper adds. "Don't worry about hurting us. I mean, the happiness you've bought us outweighs any small amount of pain you've caused or will cause in the future. Stay? Please?" He holds his hand out and his gold eyes plea for me to allow him to take me back home. I slowly take his outstretched hand and he grins.

Emmett takes my other hand in his and gives me a playful shove. "Don't scare us like that again."

"I'm sorry," I say sincerely, apologizing for so much more than what transpired tonight. I'm sorry that I'm broken. I'm sorry that I can't be fixed. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I tried to leave. I'm sorry that I really am selfish because if I was truly selfless, I would be walking the other way.

Emmett pecks the top of my head. "Don't fret, Bella. We forgive you. We're just happy to have our baby sister back."

Jasper tugs on my hand. "Come on, let's go back home."

oOo

Neither Emmett, Jasper, or I could have ever predicted what we were greeted with when we arrived at the Cullen house. We could hear Rose yelling from a mile away. When we enter the house and burst into the living room, she is still yelling.

She stabs a manicured finger at Edward's chest. It looks like they've been going at it for a while now. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice are sitting on the couch. Carlisle is rubbing his temple with his index fingers. Esme is opening her mouth to interrupt the fight between her kids, but Alice puts her hand on top of hers, silently telling her that asking them to calm down would be a wasted effort. Edward looks frazzled and is clenching his fist as Rose stands nose to nose with him.

"You have no right to tell her to leave! How could you say all of that stuff? What the _hell_ is your problem?"

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief when I realize that they're fighting about me. Even more surprisingly is the fact that _Rose_ is actually defending _me_.

Edward opens his mouth to reply, but then all of a sudden, his fists unclench and his face relaxes. At the same time, Rose steps away from Edward and calmly runs a hand through her long, blond hair.

"Thank you, Jasper." Carlisle breathes a sigh of relief as he stands up. I look at Jasper and he winks at me. I grin, but my smile fades as I feel Edward's piercing stare hitting my back. I turn to face him and he looks away.

"_Edward._" It's the first time I've heard Esme growl.

He sighs in annoyance, but still refuses to look at me. "Isabella, I'm…I'm…sorry…for what I said. I didn't mean it, and I'm glad you're back," he says in a detached voice, staring at the wall behind me. "Have a good night." And with that, he leaves the room and walks towards the stairs.

"Something tells me that his apology wasn't very sincere." Emmett cocks his head to the side thoughtfully and Rose and Jasper roll their eyes.

"Never mind our Edward." Esme smiles as she takes me into her comforting arms. "I'm glad you're back, Bella. You had me worried for a minute there."

I hug her back tightly. "Sorry, Esme," I apologize, digging my head into the hollow of her neck.

She kisses the top of my head and pats my back before letting go and allowing Carlisle to take her place.

"Bella," he greets simply, smiling forgivably at me.

"Carlisle," I grin.

His gold eyes twinkle as he wraps me in a hug. "It's good to have you back."

"Thank you," I say quietly, sincerely.

"And don't worry about Edward," he adds as he pulls away.

I sigh heavily at the sound of his name. "Why does he hate me?"

"Who cares what he thinks?" Rose sits gracefully on the couch and proceeds to study her nails. "He's an ass," she adds matter-of-factly.

"Rose," Esme chides. "Don't talk about your brother that way."

"Just 'cuz he's my brother, doesn't mean he can't annoy the piss out of me," she responds mildly.

I smile in amusement. "Thanks, Rose," I whisper gratefully. "For defending me," I add.

She waves a hand in my direction dismissively. "You're part of this family, Bella, and he has no right to tell you otherwise."

I bite my lip. That's the nicest thing Rosalie Cullen has ever said to me.

"She's right, Bella." Alice walks gracefully up to me. "You're a Cullen and if I ever have a vision of you leaving again, I will personally tackle you to ground." She smiles beautifully up at me.

I laugh and ruffle her short, black hair. "I won't leave, Ally, I would miss you too darn much."

She smiles briefly before pouting her red lips. "You made me feel really sad, Bella."

I frown. "Sorry, Alice."

She sighs dramatically and her gold eyes twinkle mischievously. "Well, if you're really sorry, I can think of a way for you to make it up to me."

"No," I groan, already knowing what she is going to say.

"Let me buy you a new wardrobe. Please Bella?" Alice claps her hands together and gives me the best puppy-dog look I've ever seen.

I turn to Jasper. "How do you ever say no to her?" I question, laughing.

He chuckles. "I don't even try."

Alice grins. "So is that a yes?"

I sigh in compliance. "Just don't go overboard."

"Yay!" Alice twirls around in excitement and gives Rose a high-five.

I roll my eyes. "Are you fine with this Carlisle? I know I have no money…" I trail off guiltily.

He smiles reassuringly. "Don't worry about a thing."

"How many times do we have to say that you're part of this family before you actually believe it?" Emmett asks me from the couch.

I shrug. "I'll probably never get used to the idea. Too good to be true and all that."

Esme gives me a side hug and I smile at her.

"Game of chess, Bella?" Carlisle asks as he moves towards the chess table.

I sigh in feigned weariness. "I'm getting tired of beating you, Carlisle."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Is that a joke?"

I laugh and shake my head. "Whatever, Carlisle." I start to make my way towards him, but all of a sudden a loud crash echoes throughout the house. I look up, startled, and realize that the noise came from around my bedroom. But how is that possible? Only Edward is up there…oh. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, wondering what Edward did to cause that sound.

"Listen, Carlisle." I stare towards the stairs, a plan forming in my head. "Can we postpone this match? I think I have some unfinished business to take care of." I gesture at the celling in the general direction of Edward's room.

His golden eyes study me for a moment before he nods slowly in approval.

"Good luck with that," Emmett mumbles from the couch.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," Alice reassures, tapping her temple.

I nod nervously and wave goodbye as I leave the room and make my way upstairs. When I'm standing in front of his bedroom, I see that his door is slightly ajar. I gently push it open and step inside. I glance around the room until I see Edward lying on his couch, staring intensely at the ceiling.

"Hey," I whisper, moving so that I am in his view if he only shifts his head. He doesn't.

"Hello," he whispers back.

I bite my lip. "So this is what you all do all day in here, huh?" I say, referring to his gazing at the ceiling.

He shrugs. "I usually have music on," he answers quietly.

I look around the room again and this time I'm surprised to see a stereo that seems to have been thrown forcibly onto the ground. Ah, so that was the crashing sound. "Oh," I say lamely.

"I'm really…I'm sorry," Edward says after a minute of awkward silence. "I really didn't want you to leave. I was just angry." He sits up on the sofa, finally facing me, with his brilliant gold eyes scorching into mine.

"Don't worry," I say. "I had already decided to leave before I spoke to you so it wasn't your fault." I pause. "And…you were sorta right," I admit reluctantly.

"Oh I know I was right," he says confidently. I raise an eyebrow in question. He smiles gently. "I stand by what I said. You really shouldn't kill yourself. But I do recognize that I shouldn't have raised my voice, insulted you, or made you think in any way that I wanted you to leave."

"Well, don't take all the blame," I insist. "I did some yelling and insulting myself. And what I meant when I said that you were sorta right is that you were correct when you called me selfish. But I stand by what I said, also. Right now I'm planning on not being here two years from now. My decision can easily change." I shrug. "We just have to see." Edward nods thoughtfully and we sit in silence for a few long moments. "So…where does this leave us?" I ask curiously.

He studies me for a moment with a piercing gaze. "Well I was rather hoping…Bella, can…can we…just start over?"

I hesitate. Did I really want to forgive him for ignoring me all these weeks and just acting like a plain jerk? Aw, but look at him. He really does seem remorseful, his face imploring for me to say yes. And his apology was sincere…I nod and reach out my hand. "Hi, I'm Bella. And you are?"

His face falls in relief as he smiles crookedly at me. Breathe, Bella, I remind myself. He takes my hand in his own and squeezes it. I feel a shock course through my body at the contact and think back to the last and only time we've touched beforehand—when I had straddled his torso on the forest floor with my hands restraining his, his face inches from mine, his chest breathing against mine, his—"Hello," Edward says, breaking my heated train of thought. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"My my Edward Cullen," I murmur playfully as I turn his hand over. "What pale hands you have! And your fingers are so cold! What in the world are you?"

Edward laughs beautifully and I savor the perfect sound. "Bella, I would tell you what I am, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Tell me," I insist. "You won't hurt me," I add certainly.

"Oh really?" Edward quirks an eyebrow. "I can be rather dangerous." He flashes his sharp teeth at me.

"I'm not scared of you," I say, staring intently into his gold eyes.

"Oh _really?_" Edward makes a move to get up and I instinctively take a step backwards. He narrows his eyes at the movement and takes a step forward. I grin as I move backward. We continue this until I can't go back any farther and Edward has me trapped against a wall.

"Still not scared of me?" Edward asks, smirking at me as he puts his hands on the wall on either sides of my face, making is so that there is no way of me escaping.

I shake my head vigorously. "No," I try to say firmly, but my voice cracks. Not from fear, mind you, but from Edward's proximity. We are so close I can count the eyelashes framing his gorgeous eyes.

He leans forward and my breath catches and my face feels like its burning. He stares intently at me, studying me almost critically before his face softens and he seems to widen his smile unconsciously. He's so beautiful.

"Why?" I blurt out suddenly, ruining the perfect moment with my big mouth.

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Why what?"

I didn't really plan on saying 'why', it just blurted out. But now that I had said it, I could think of a billion questions to ask him. "Why have you've been ignoring me? Why did you act like you hated me? Why are you all of a sudden acting all nice to me? Why—"

Edward cuts me off with a low groan. "I thought we had started over. You know, put this all behind us?"

I shake my head and shove him lightly. He takes the hint and steps away. "I deserve some answers, Edward," I say quietly.

He bites his lip and seems to think hard about something before his brows unfurrow and his face relaxes. He slowly raises his hand up in offering. I hesitantly take it and marvel at a spark that once again runs through my arms.

Edward tugs on my hand and I eagerly follow him back towards his couch. He sits down and pulls me with him so that we are sitting only inches away from the other. He takes a deep breath before slowly exhaling. He lets go of my hand to run his own through his disheveled bronze hair.

"You don't have to say anything, Edward," I say softly. He looks so nervous and vulnerable. If it's that bad maybe I don't want to know.

Edward shakes his head. "No, you're right. You deserve to know." He takes another deep breath. "Bella," I shiver when I hear my name roll deliciously off his lips. "I—I ugh!" He punches his knee and I jump, startled. "Sorry," he sighs. "Let me just start at the beginning?" He looks at me for reassurance and I give him an encouraging smile and nod.

"Okay, well I don't recall much about my human life. I had a loving mom and dad and I lived a good life, that much I remember. I lived in Chicago and was born in 1901. By 1918 I was planning on joining World War I, much to my mother's dismay. I know Carlisle told you this already—the Spanish influenza hit and it claimed both my mom's and dad's lives. I myself was close to dying when Carlisle changed me per my mom's request. I was very upset at Carlisle for a while for turning me into a vampire, but we grew closer and closer and now I consider him to be a father to me.

About ten years after I had been changed, however, I rebelled against Carlisle and his ways. I could read minds and I thought that with my ability I could kill humans that were criminals and just evil people, and therefore make this world a better place. So I left him and lived on my own. I would wander through multiple towns, hunting only when I absolutely needed to and then I would kill murderers and rapists.

But…soon I just couldn't stand killing all those people, no matter how bad they were because in reality I was acting no better than them. I couldn't justify my actions any longer, I didn't want to, and in 1931, I returned to Carlisle and Esme and they welcomed me back with open arms." Edward gives me a rueful smile and he shakes his head. "I didn't deserve their forgiveness. All those people I killed…" Edward lets out a disgusted sound and turns his head away.

"Edward?"I say softly but he doesn't turn around. I slowly rest my hand on his forearm and coax him into turning my way. When he does, his face is pursed in pain and worry. "Edward?" I ask, confused by his expression. "Edward, it's okay."

His mouth drops and his beautiful topaz eyes stare at me in shock. "Okay?"

I furrow my eyebrows. "I mean yeah…is that it, Edward? You were afraid of what I would think of you? Is that why you ignored me?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "That's not the whole reason, but it has crossed my mind multiple times." He sighs. "You think you're a monster and you want to kill yourself because you _almost_ killed a couple of humans. I…I've killed tons of people. They weren't accidents or slip-ups. They were completely intentional. And it's not like Jasper. Jasper never knew that there was a different way of living. I knew that it was possible to live off animal blood yet I still chose to hunt humans. "

"But you stopped, Edward," I remind him gently. "You thought you were doing a good thing, and once you realized that you couldn't be a killer anymore, you stopped. It's in the past, Edward. Leave it there, huh? What matters now is that you're a vegetarian and you regret what you did.

And I really don't know why you didn't just tell me earlier. It's not my place to judge you, and really, who cares what I think? I mean, you and everyone else in the world can tell me that I'm not a monster, but I still think that I am. And I can sit here and tell you for the rest of eternity that you are not a monster, that you're a good person, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter, you know? We have to see for ourselves what we really are and no one can answer that question for us. What we are is for us to figure out."

Edward gives me another of his piercing stares that make me feel like he can see right through me. He shifts forward and my breath hitches. My god, he's beautiful. I close my eyes and inhale his sweet scent that's been making me so dizzy. When I open my eyes, I see that he's moved even closer. I gaze into his eyes that have darkened considerably and are currently staring deeply into my own eyes.

"Bella," he whispers. I smile. My name sounds so beautiful when he says it so smoothly and musically. "You're wrong about one thing. _I_ do care what you think of me."

I bite my lip. "Well, then, for what it's worth, I really don't think you're a monster, Edward."

He closes his eyes as I finish my sentence and smiles crookedly. He opens his eyes and speaks softly. "And I don't think you're a monster, either, Bella." He reaches a hesitant hand up and lays it gently on my cheek. I unconsciously lean into his palm. His hand is so warm and surprisingly soft.

And so, if I could pause any moment in my whole life, I would pause this very moment. This moment where Edward actually initiated contact with me. This moment where Edward is actually talking and touching and smiling at me after months of ignorance. This moment that is so perfect because it feels so right to stare into his warm eyes and feel his soft touch. This moment where Edward says in a whisper, "I wish more than anything that you could see yourself the way I see you."

"What do you see?" I ask hoarsely.

"I see beauty." Edward smiles. "I don't see a monster. You were strong and selfless when you worked so hard to resist killing that human in the woods. You stood bravely and showed no signs of fear as Jasper, Emmett, and I entered the field and you realized you were alone and defenseless, surrounded by four strange, male vampires. You crawled on the forest floor and clung to a stranger's leg, begging for him not to let you kill an innocent human. You offered to just sleep in a cave when you saw Emmett and Jasper arguing over letting you stay at our house. You insisted on hunting every day. You were so naïve and innocent about the vampire world, but you strived to prove yourself.

You were so sweetly curious about everyone and so nice and cute that no one could help loving you and welcoming you into the family. And you looked so guilty and shameful whenever you broke something that no one could be mad at you. You tease and chat with everyone freely.

You hum when you're feeling happy and sigh when you're sad. You love to read and spend hours in the library. You bite your lip when you're nervous or hesitant. You touch you're cheek when you're embarrassed. You use lots of hand gestures when you're excited about something. You wrinkle your nose when you're disgusted. You shuffle your feet and look at the ground when you're shy.

You don't care about fashion and you hate it when we spend money on you. You don't think you deserve everyone being so nice to you and accepting you into our home and you feel like you haven't done anything in return.

You have the most beautiful smile and laugh. Your eyes are a burgundy color and so deep. You are incredibly selfless, brave, and kind," Edward says all of this sincerely and without blinking once.

I stare in shock as it slowly dawns at me that Edward has never ignored me. He has been paying constant attention to me and already seems to know me more than I know myself. "I was wrong," I whisper.

"About what?" Edward questions curiously.

"You don't hate me," I say, almost in awe of this new fact.

Edward nods in agreement. "Truly I don't."

"And you're not a jerk," I add. "You're actually…incredibly sweet."

Edward scoffs. "I give you all those compliments and all I get is that I'm sweet?" He smiles as he teases me.

I laugh softly. "That's not my fault. You've been hiding all your qualities from me," I accuse.

Edward nods guiltily and looks away. "I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I made you think that I hated you." He chuckles, "As if that's even possible."

"Hey, Edward, don't apologize, I've forgiven you," I remind him. "But can you promise me something?"

"Anything," he says eagerly.

I smile. "When…if….you decide to ignore me again, can you just give me a heads-up or something?"

"I'm not going to ignore you again, Bella," he promises. "I'm tired of staying away from you."

My heart clenches at his sincere words. "Good." I nod. "'Cuz next time I might not let you off so easily," I say, only half joking.

Edward nods understandingly. "You have nothing to worry about, Bella. We'll be…friends from now on."

I close my eyes as a wave of intense disappointment and hurt washes through me. "Friends?" I ask pathetically. Is that all he wants? I thought we were…oh who am I kidding? Of course Edward just wants to be friends. Why would he want to be with me? God, I'm so pathetic to think otherwise.

"Yeah," Edward answers. I open my eyes to see his face filled with hurt. "Don't you want to be friends?" he asks uncertainly and almost shyly.

I resist the urge to laugh. _Oh, Edward, if only you knew how much I want to be _more_ than friends._ "Of course I want to be friends, Edward."

He smiles a huge smile and he places his hand on mine. "Great." He grins.

I look down at his pale hand covering my much smaller one and smile. _Yeah, this is great._

* * *

**So there you go! I hoped you liked it. Oh and don't go thinking that we've got Edward all figured out now. He only gives one reason as to why he has been less than friendly to Bella in the past. Also, I'm sorry to say that since basketball season is starting, I won't be able to update as quickly. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon though. Anywho, review if you want to a sneak peek into the next chapter!**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie. **


	8. Just Friends

**Here's Chapter Eight! Thanks to Jangshi1, Nissa-Cullen, twilightvampire 4ever, lynne0731, Miss Rizz, NJ94, ellaryne, dolphindreaming, piccololover, EnyaCullen4Ever, charlotte, HeyThereBuddy, tina062093, Conan in love, aleki98, alicefan32, hopelessromanticgurl, xxxbulletxxx, kristella101, twilightsaga96, bookluva98, Ka5tie-marie-cullen, Kristin04, Cullen-madness, and DizzyIzzyCullen for reviewing! ****Enjoy!**

* * *

_Previously:_

"_Of course I want to be friends, Edward."_

_He smiles a huge smile and he places his hand on mine. "Great," he grins. _

_I look down at his pale hand covering my much smaller one. _Yeah, this is great.

* * *

**Tuesday, February 16th 6:00 A.M.**

As I start to play with Edward's fingers, I'm startled by a loud beeping sound. Perplexed, I look around only to see that the sound is coming from a black alarm clock on Edward's CD shelf. The clock flashes in red digits, reading 6:00 A.M. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, wondering why a vampire would need an alarm clock.

"I lose track of time sometimes," Edward answers my silent question. "So I programmed the alarm to go off early in the morning. We don't have to leave for school until seven-fifteenish, but if I don't get up now, Emmett will get the shower first, and he _really _likes to take his time." Edward rolls his eyes.

I giggle slightly and smile at him. "Well, go on." I lean in and give an exaggerated sniff at his shoulder. "You _really_ need a shower." I wrinkle my nose playfully, though really, his smell is intoxicating.

He rolls his golden eyes again, but smiles nonetheless. "Alright." He stands up and then looks at his bedroom door and then back at me. "So…I guess I'll talk to you later?" His facial expression is nervous and uncertain as if he expects me to say no.

I smile shyly at him. "Yeah, definitely." He gives me a relieved grin as I stand up, and together we walk out of his room. Edward goes left, towards the bathroom, and I go down the stairs.

"Morning," I greet everyone as I walk into the living room. Rose, Alice, Carlisle, Jasper all smile at me and I sit next to Carlisle on the couch. As I realize that Emmett and Esme are not in the room, I concentrate on my hearing and hear Esme speaking very sternly to Emmett about controlling himself or else.

I laugh in amusement. "What did Emmett do this time?" I ask.

"He broke a lamp," Rose answers, bored as she studies her nails.

"_Again_," Alice, Carlisle, and Jasper add at the same time, before looking at each other and laughing.

I roll my eyes, not surprised, before leaning over and looking at what Carlisle had on his lap. "Whatcha reading, Carlisle?"

And so for the next hour, Carlisle tells me all about a new medical advance and I try very hard to seem like I understand what he is saying. Soon, one by one, the rest of the Cullens sans Esme stuff their backpack with papers, start and finish their homework—which unsurprisingly only takes them twenty minutes to do so—and take turns showering.

At 7:30, Edward and I are standing next to the front door and Alice, Jasper, and Emmett are waiting in Edward's silver Volvo.

"Rose!" Edward shouts unnecessarily at his sister who is still upstairs in her bedroom. "We're leaving without you!"

"I'm coming!"

"Come now! We don't have time for you to spend an hour brushing your hair!"

"Edward and Rosalie Cullen," Esme says sternly from the living room. "There is no need to be screaming."

We hear an aggravated sigh from upstairs and then a very annoyed and pissed-off Rose appears on top of the stairs.

"Finally," Edward huffs as he picks up his black backpack from the ground and swings it around his shoulder.

"Getting your hair to look presentable takes time," Rose says acidly as she walks down the stairs. "Something that you obviously have yet to understand." She glances pointedly at Edward's disheveled bronze locks.

"I like his hair," I blurt out without thinking.

Rose shifts her glare to me, but Edward just smiles hugely. And I can't even bring it in me to flinch from Rose's ice-cold stare because all I can do is stand mesmerized at Edward's crooked smile.

"Thanks, Bella," Edward says appreciably. He gives me one last smoldering look that makes my dead heart beat again before turning back to Rose. "Now let's go. Thanks to you we're going to be late."

"Please," Rose snorts. "With your crazy driving, we'll be there in five minutes." She bends down to grab her blood red back-pack and puts it around her shoulder.

Edward rolls his eyes. "Oh, don't act like you drive any slower…" They continue to bicker as they walk outside and toward the Volvo. I follow them out and stand on the front porch as they climb into the car. I see Edward start up the engine and he seems to be about to drive out before it looks like he suddenly remembers something. He quickly rolls down his window and sticks out his head slightly.

"Bye Bella!" He grins and I smile and wave at him. We keep eye-contact as he slowly backs out until he is out of sight.

Still grinning, I make my way back inside the house. In the past five hours, Edward seems like a whole new person. Usually he's silent and brooding in the morning and Jasper is the one who has to hassle Rose and sometimes Alice into hurrying up. And he's never said bye to me before. Maybe now—

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear Carlisle walk towards me, carrying his worn suitcase. "I'm off to work. Have a good day, Bella." He smiles at me and pecks the top of my head before continuing out the front door.

"See you later, Carlisle," I say quietly, knowing that he can still hear me even through the walls of the house and the roar of his car's engine. I walk towards the living room where I know Esme is and already I see her dusting around the fireplace. She smiles at me as I pick up the other duster that was placed on the table. And for the next several hours, Esme and I clean the whole house. I don't quite enjoy the cleaning, but it's the only way I feel like I'm giving back to the Cullens. And plus, Esme and I always have fun together, joking and sharing stories. Today in particular, I asked her to share stories about Edward, which Esme happily obliged. And later, as usual, Esme decides to throw in some exercises to help me control my strength.

"Why don't you wash some of the dishes, Bella, dear?" Esme asks nonchalantly as we stand in the Cullens dining room.

"Dishes?" I ask, bewildered. "Why in the world would vampires have dirty dishes?" An image of the Cullens sitting around the dining room table with their plates full of pieces of bloody deer enters my mind and I laugh out loud.

Esme smiles and shakes her head as if she knows what I'm thinking about. "We have dishes to keep up appearances. And you can never have clean enough dishes," she says, gesturing towards the china that sat beautifully on the large, elegant table.

My jaw drops as I eye the extremely expensive looking tea cups and plates that she expects me to clean. "Those are not regular dishes, Esme, and I am most certainly _not_ touching them."

"Aw, dearie, you'll be fine." Esme smiles encouragingly, her gold eyes twinkling with certainty.

I shake my head. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I broke one of those plates, Esme."

"Nonsense, dear. Here, just pick one up and use a wet wash cloth to wipe off any dust and grime. Then set it back down and you're done." Esme demonstrated. "There, easy." She finishes and holds out the washcloth for me to take. I hesitantly accept it and gently pick up a plate decorated with gorgeous drawings of wild flowers. I place the washcloth onto the plate and swipe it across the surface of the dish. And to my amazement, it doesn't break.

"See, Bella? No trouble at all," Esme says with a hint of pride in her voice.

I smile slightly as I put the plate back down and pick up the matching glass cup. None of these pieces are dirty at all. In fact, they are sparkly clean. My smile widens as I realize that Esme just wants me to gain confidence in my ability to handle my strength.

When I'm done, Esme gives me a big, warm hug. "I knew you could do it," she says softly.

"Thank you," I whisper, smiling.

Just then, we both hear the familiar rumble of Edward's Volvo. Excited to see everyone—okay, okay, mostly excited to see Edward—I run to the front door. Without thinking, I open the door and step onto the porch. I look back to see the door wide open and Esme smiling proudly at me. I widen my eyes as I realize that I had just successfully opened the door without breaking it or ruining the door knob. And best of all, I had done it unconsciously.

I grin. I have finally mastered my strength. I turn back around as I hear the purr from the Volvo's engine coming closer and closer until we see the car speeding into the driveway. The Cullens hop out.

"Damn, Edward!" Emmett exclaims. "I've never seen you speed so much. What's the rush?"

But Edward ignores him as he walks quickly towards me. I smile as he reaches me and he smiles back.

"Hey," he says softly, shyly.

"Hey," I repeat, wringing my hands nervously.

I've noticed that, for the most part, the Cullens are a very _huggy_ family. They usually great each other with hugs; well, in Jasper's, Emmett's, Carlisle's, and Edward's cases, they settle for manly chin nods and fist pumps as a way to say hi. But I've seen Edward hug Alice, Esme, and yes, even Rose in the past so Edward and I hugging wouldn't be any different, right? Just two friends greeting each other after spending eight hours apart. Has it only been eight hours? It seems like it was so much longer…

I bite my lip awkwardly as we continue to just stand there and fidget. I quickly decide that I am not going to hug him unless he initiates it.

"How was your day, Bella?" Edward eventually asks curiously, leaning forward to hear my answer. I shiver when my name rolls off his tongue.

"It was good," I answer simply. He keeps looking at me intently and expectantly so I continue. "Oh! I just opened a door all by myself without breaking it and everything," I add proudly. I don't know why it matters so much, but I feel proud of myself nonetheless.

"That's great!" Edward smiles and for a second my heart swells as it looks like he's about to give me a congratulatory hug, but before he can, I feel someone lift me from behind.

"Congrats squirt!" Emmett booms loudly, swinging me around like a rag doll.

I laugh and hug him back. From the corner of my eye, I'm surprised to see Edward scowling and glaring at Emmett's arms. Before I can ask him what's wrong, Emmett sets me down, and Alice is next in line to hug me.

"Hey, Bella!" she says in her sweet voice. "I was so happy when I had that vision of you cleaning Esme's china that I nearly squealed in the middle of Spanish class."

I smile and peck the top of her head. "Thanks, Alice."

After Esme and I greet everyone else, Emmett puts his arm around me again. "So hunting?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, just let me just put on some sneakers and I'm ready."

"Um," Edward appears in front of us. "Would you mind if I go with?" he questions.

I smile in excitement and I'm about to agree when Emmett pipes up. "Why? You already went hunting yesterday morning."

Edward frowns. "Well…yes, yes, I did…but…I wouldn't mind coming along with you guys."

Emmett still looks confused. "You don't have to come, Edward. Bella and I will be fine on our own."

You don't know how much I want to strangle Emmett right now.

But thankfully Edward stops my murderous thoughts by shaking his head stubbornly. "Really Emmett, I would love to join you two."

"But—" Emmett starts to say before Alice interrupts him.

"Let's leave this decision up to Bella." She gives Edward and me a wink and a knowing look. Both Edward and I look down shyly in response.

"Um well, I think Edward should come…if he wants to," I say, trying not to sound too eager. I look up and see Edward give me a huge grin.

Emmett shrugs his consent. "Fine, whatever."

oOo

"Wanna race?" Emmett asks excitedly as we start to run at a comfortable pace through the woods.

I roll my eyes. "I don't know why you always ask that. You know I always win."

Edward raises his eyebrows in surprise. "You're faster than Emmett?"

I straightened my back slightly, eager to impress him. "Yeah."

"Only because of her stupid newborn strength," Emmett scowls, "But hey," he brightens up and turns towards me. "I bet even with your newborn advantages you can't beat Eddie boy here."

A low growl vibrates through Edward's chest. "Don't call me Eddie," he warns Emmett.

Emmett acts as though Edward never spoke. "So first one to the funky looking tree—"

"There are a lot of weird-shaped trees in the forest, Em," I remind him.

"I'm talking about the one with no leaves—"

"It's winter, Emmett. None of the trees have leaves," Edward interrupts.

"Will you guys let me finish?" Emmett huffs. Edward and I share a look, but nod in a gesture for Emmett to continue. "It's the one that has one of the branches cut off and—" Emmett stops short at our blank looks. "Edward, can't you read my mind and see the tree I'm talking about?"

"Yes, but the tree in your mind looks exactly like every other tree in the forest," Edward answers. "Wait," he furrows his eyebrows in thought. "Are you thinking about the tree with that old bird's nest?"

Emmett, happy that someone finally knows what he is talking about, nods eagerly.

"Uh," I say. "I still don't know what you guys are talking about."

Emmett shakes his head in disbelief as if he can't understand how I cannot pinpoint the exact tree he is describing.

"Don't worry, Bella." Edward smiles reassuringly at me. "You'll be behind me anyway so you can just follow me."

"Excuse me?" I raise an eyebrow.

Emmett whistles in amusement. "Dude, that's her don't-mess-with-me voice. Tread carefully, man. Last time she used that voice on me, I got three books thrown at me."

"Hey!" I protest indignantly. "That was only because you decided that it would be funny to put a spider on my bed—"

"I'm sorry, but it is funny that you're scared of spiders. I mean, you're a vampire!"

"They're still disgusting and just abnormal looking."

"There was still no need to go throwing books—"

"Of course there was! You were laughing like some hyena, acting like the prank was some act of a pure genius—"

"Well, some do refer to me as a genius—"

"I was not calling you a genius!"

"Whatever, you're just lucky—"

"Guys!" Edward, who was previously swinging his head back in forth between Emmett and I like we were an interesting tennis match, breaks our argument with a loud laugh. "Can we get back to the race?"

"No, actually," I say, turning my narrowed, burgundy eyes to Edward. "Let's go back to when you said that funny joke about _you_ beating _me_."

"That wasn't a joke, Bella." Edward smirks.

"Fine." I stop running and Edward and Emmett follow suit. I look around and see that during the course of Emmett's and my banter, we had ran more than a mile, putting us in the middle of the vast woods. "Let's start, shall we?"

"Hey Bella, do you have a watch?" Emmett randomly asks.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Uh yeah?"

"Can you check the time?"

I nod as I hold my wrist up and study my digital watch. "It's four—Hey!" I growl as I see Emmett and Edward take off in a sprint. I rush to follow after them. "You cheaters!"

I hear both Emmett's booming laugh and Edward perfect, beautiful, dreamy laugh echo throughout the forest.

"I can't believe you fell for that one!" Emmett guffaws. By now, I've caught up enough that I can see the two figures in the distance. Edward is ahead of Emmett by a couple of feet. In about five minutes, I've caught up with Emmett.

"Hey, Em, your shoe's untied," I say sweetly as I match my stride to his long one.

Confused, Emmett looks down. I laugh as I sprint ahead of him. "I can't believe you fell for that one!"

Soon after, I catch up to Edward. He looks surprised to see me and I smirk at him. I can't go ahead of him since I don't know where the finish line is so I settle for running right next to him. And for a moment, I allow myself to daydream that we are not in a race, but that in fact, Edward and I are running together just for the pleasure of it, and maybe, just maybe, in this daydream we are holding hands and—

Unexpectantly, the wind blows, carrying with it the salivating scent of fresh meat. I glance at Edward and see that he has noticed the smell, too, and has also noticed that my eyes are dark with hunger. He smiles understandingly at me. "Go ahead. Emmett and I will finish the race and then join you."

So with great reluctance, I follow a herd of deer's scent and quickly and messily take down two deer. Satisfied, I go in search for Edward and Emmett. Following their scent, I soon find them wrestling on the ground. They don't notice my presence. I wonder briefly if I should break them apart, but it's clearly just play-fighting. I also ponder why they are wrestling in the first place, but the answer soon comes to me and I smile as I see the tree that is a foot behind them—a funky-looking, leafless tree with a bird nest on a branch that seems to have been cut half-way through. Smirking, I take the long way around Emmett and Edward and lean against the tree.

"Edward, Emmett," I say in a sing-song voice. They both freeze and turn around. Their eyes widen comically and I smile. "I win." And in an instant, Emmett, who had been previously pinned to the ground by Edward, jumps off and sprints off with Edward a foot behind him.

"Race back home!" Edward has the decency to explain before he is out of sight. Letting out an annoyed hiss, I take off full-speed toward the house.

oOo

"First one to touch Carlisle wins!" Emmett's call is what causes three competitive vampires to tackle a poor, unsuspecting Carlisle as he is getting out of his car after a long shift at the hospital.

He half-groans and half-laughs as he hits the ground.

"I won!" Emmett exclaims triumphantly.

"No, I obviously touched him first," I argue fiercely.

"Guys, come on, don't pretend like it's not perfectly clear that I touched—" Edward starts to say before Carlisle interrupts.

"Will you three kindly get off of me?" he asks calmly with a smile in his voice.

It is then all three of us realize that we are all forming a dog pile on Carlisle in the middle of the driveway.

"Sorry," we all mumble as we stand up. I offer a hand to Carlisle and help him up.

"What on Earth is going on?" Esme asks as she, Rose, Jasper, and Alice exit the house and appear in front of us.

"What the hell happened to you three?" Rose demands, quirking an eyebrow.

Edward, Emmett, and I look at each other in confusion before laughing lightly at what we see. There are splatters of animal blood on my shirt—I still haven't gotten the hang of hunting without making a mess of myself. We all have—especially Emmett and Edward since they were the ones who wrestled on the ground—leaves and twigs in our hair and dirt and mud covering our skin and clothes.

"Race," Edward answers simply. And can I just say that even with all the filth, he is still the handsomest man I've ever met.

Everyone nods as if this one-worded answer explained everything.

"Children." Esme shakes her head with mixed disbelief and amusement. "Come here, Em, honey." She walks up to Emmett, licks her fingers and starts to rub fiercely at the dirt smudge on Emmett's cheek.

"Oh, Esme, come on, there's no need—" Emmett starts to protest as he tries to move away from her.

But Esme is insistent. "It's almost out…" The sight of small Esme scrubbing at Emmett's cheek and Emmett's disgruntled face is so comical that I laugh out loud. Emmett glares at me and I stifle my laughter. From the corner of my eye I see Edward walking slowly towards the house.

But something in Esme's thoughts stop him for Edward grimaces as he stops trying to escape.

And I love Esme, I truly do, but I'm not eager to be subjected to her saliva or venom or whatever and therefore I quickly make my way towards the house.

"I'm just going to take a shower," I say to no one in particular and with an innocent smile at Edward's pouting face, I head upstairs to my room.

oOo

After I've showered and changed, I enter my bedroom to see Alice unsurprisingly sitting on my bed, waiting for me. However, it _is_ a surprise to see Rose sitting next to her. They both smile at me as I close the door behind me.

"Hey," I greet cautiously.

"Hey," Alice says slowly as she looks me up and down. I smile, anticipating Alice's reaction to seeing me in Jasper's old orange t-shirt and in a pair of Rose's jeans that she only wears when she's fixing a car. But surprising, Alice says nothing.

I walk towards my dresser and pick up the brush sitting on top of it. I sit down next to Alice and Rose on the bed and Alice immediately takes the brush from my hand and starts to brush my hair. I roll my eyes in amusement. Alice loves to brush my hair for some reason.

"So," Alice begins after a few quiet moments. "I was wondering about my dear brother."

"Which one?" I ask in feigned nonchalance, though I already have an idea of where they're going with this.

"Edward." Rose smiles wickedly.

I bite my lip in an attempt to hide the smile that unconsciously creeps up at the mere sound of his name. "Oh? And what were you wondering about Edward?"

"Well," Alice says. "It's just that today he seemed a little distracted."

"Hmm," I hum.

"Yeah, it's like he couldn't wait to get back home," Rose adds.

"I wonder why," I muse.

I see Rose and Alice share a frustrated look. Apparently they expected me to declare my undying affection for their brother. While I do like like Edward, I'm not about to blab about it. Edward said it himself—he just wants to be friends.

"I don't know, Alice," Rose says. "Why would he want to get home so quickly?"

"Gee, Rose," Alice answers. "Maybe it's because he really wanted to see someone," she says pointedly.

"Yes, Esme missed him, too," I respond. I smile as I hear them both huff and I smile even bigger as the idea of Edward missing me sinks in. Of course, I remind myself before I get too excited, he just missed me as a friend misses another friend.

"Okay," Rose says, sounding irritated. "No more games. Tell us what's going on between you and Edward."

I shrug. "We're just friends," I reply.

"Friends," Alice repeats slowly as if she's never heard of the word before. "Like Jasper and I are friends?" She waggles her eyebrows suggestively.

I shake my head in amusement. "No, Alice, like you and Emmett are friends. And like Jasper and Rose are friends,"

Both of their faces fall in disappointment. "So you just see him as a brother?" Rose asks.

I bite my lip. Truth is I see Edward as being more than a friend, more than a brother. I can't tell them that, though, and I don't want to lie, so I say the only thing that I know is true: "He only sees me as a sister."

oOo

After my hair is nice and brushed and after I have firmly told Alice that I wasn't going to change my clothes, we all head downstairs and into the living room where most of the Cullens are. Alice and Rose take their respective places next to their husbands and I'm about to make my way towards Esme, when a voice stops me.

"Bella," Edward calls, patting the seat uncertainly next to him. I do a double-take when I lay my eyes on him. Edward is rarely in the living room. Usually he's in his room, doing whatever, but now he's here and amazingly he's asking me to sit next to him. My heart flutters and I quickly change my direction and move to sit to his side.

He smiles at me and his eyes briefly seem troubled before they relax. "Hey, pal," Edward greets.

"Hey, bud," I smile. "Oh, I never asked you how your day at school was."

"Immensely boring," he groans. "Did you at least have fun with Esme?"

I nod. "Of course," I answer, refraining from telling him that I would have had much more fun if he had been here with us. "And speaking of Esme, she told me some interesting stories."

Edward raises a curious eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yup," I nod. "All about a certain red-head that I know."

Edward's topaz eyes narrow. "Really? And what did she say?"

"Oh, don't worry, she didn't tell me _that_ many embarrassing stories," I smile.

He turns around swiftly to stare incredulously at Esme who is sitting on the couch across from us.

"Don't mind her, Edward," she says, grinning at me. "I didn't tell any embarrassing stories. That's Emmett's job," she winks.

Emmett rubs his hands excitedly. "Where to start, where to start?"

I laugh as Edward turns his glare to his brother. "Don't you dare, Emmett. I'm sure Rose wouldn't want to know what you were thinking about today at lunch."

Rose narrows her eyes dangerously as she stares daggers at Emmett. "What is he talking about?" she demands.

"Oh, nothing, honey," Emmett says nervously. "You know, Edward. Talking crazy again."

Edward smiles and shakes his head.

"You know, Esme is right," I say. "I was just kidding. She didn't say anything bad. She just told me how much of a gentleman you are, how smart you are, how nice, and how you are such an excellent pianist." I frown at him as my gaze turns accusatory. "You never told me you played the piano."

Edward grins sheepishly. "I can play a little."

My eyes brighten. "Will you play me something sometime?"

He nods. "Of course." I smile contentedly and he grins back.

"Hey, Eddie," Emmett interrupts. "Why don't you play this?" He throws a controller at Edward and without looking away from me, Edward catches it smoothly in one hand.

"It's on," Edward says, turning to face the TV screen.

Emmett raises his eyebrows in surprise and everyone else follows. Ever since I've been here, I've never seen Edward join us in the living room in the evenings, let alone actually play video games.

Emmett's look of shock fades away and he grins hugely as he fist pumps the air. And the sun sets and then rises hours later. Carlisle has retreated to his study room, Esme is humming as she flips through a book, Emmett is playing a game of chess with Rose and losing horribly, Alice is color-coding her clothes or something equally as ridiculous as that, and Edward, Jasper, and I are in the library.

Jasper is the only one reading, though. I do have a book on my lap, but I can't seem to concentrate on the words with Edward in the same room as me. Edward is lying on his back on the couch across from where Jasper and I are sitting. His eyes are partly closed as he listens to music coming from his black I-pod. His face is so peaceful and he's smiling beautifully at whatever he's thinking about—I can't stop myself from wishfully hoping that he's thinking about me.

I also can't help myself from sneaking glances at him. I flip the pages of my book occasionally to keep up the pretense of someone reading studiously instead of being that silly teenage girl with a crush that I am. Sadly, the hours pass by and soon Edward is due to leave for school again. At seven-thirty it's a serious case of déjà vu as Edward yells at Rose to hurry up. She finally descends and stalks out the door with a scowl on her face and she refuses to look at Edward.

Edward shakes his head and sighs. "You're lucky you don't have to spend the whole day of school with _that_," he tells me, only half-joking.

I stifle my amusement. Rose's and Edward's interactions are so funny. Both of them are so stubborn and prideful that they can go hours without talking to each other. They have no one fooled, though. It's clear that they care about each other and respect one another.

"Yeah, well, try to have fun," I say, my amusement suddenly gone as I realize it will be another long eight hours until I see him again. I berate myself inwardly for being so pathetic. He won't be gone _that_ long and I have to stop my desperate pining after him.

"I'll try," he answers. "You have fun with Esme, too, 'kay?" I nod. "Good," he smiles. "I'll see you soon, Bella." He reaches out a hand and seems to be about to touch my face before he changes his mind at the last second and pulls his hand away. Disappointment envelops me, but I force a smile for his sake.

"Yeah, see you," I say. Edward gives me a grin and starts to turn away before I stop him. "Wait, Edward, do you wanna go hunting with Emmett and I again?"

Edward gives me huge smile. "Yeah, I'd like that. It's a date."

My heart flutters happily against my will and once again I scold myself. He didn't mean anything. I mean, it definitely can't be a date since Emmett is coming with us and plus we are just friends, just friends, just friends, just friends, just—

A loud honk interrupts the mantra going through my mind. "Now who is taking forever?" Rose's yell carries from outside. "We are going to be late, Edward!"

Edward rolls his eyes and huffs. "Bye, Bella,"

"Bye, Edward," I say softly. We stare at each other until another loud honk interrupts us. We both sigh as Edward reluctantly goes outside. Before he completely leaves my view, however, he turns back to flash me a crooked smile and I melt.

We're just friends, though. Just friends, just friends, just friends, just friends….

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**I know, it's been three weeks. But hey, this chapter is much longer than the last one, huh? I already started the next chapter and it's more of the Cullens teaching her how to be a vegetarian. Review if you want to get a sneak preview of that chapter! It shouldn't be that long so hopefully it'll be up soon. And, sadly, yes, Edward and Bella are going to be nothing more than very close friends for a while now. But trust me, when they finally get together it'll be worth it. Oh and I did a vague outline for the next several, several chapters—you should be proud of me because I hate doing outlines—and I must say, you guys are in for the long haul. This story is going to be long with a lot of stuff happening. It's going to a blast to write. Anyway, I just want to say another thank you to my reviewers. Last chapter was the most reviewed chapter so far so thanks :)**

**For those to celebrate it: I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving last week!**

**Check out my profile for pictures of the dining room and others!**

**Review!**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie **


	9. Dreams and Happiness

**Hey! Here's Chapter 9! But first, a big thanks to rachaelhannah, Tamy88, Topazeye, Jangshi1, Nissa-Cullen, aleki98, fang luver454, sapphyre18, twilightsaga96, I-luv-Edward-Cullen18, Twilighter930, Conan in love, Mask with a truth, tina062093, Kristin04, DizzyIzzyCullen, dat panda bandit, MoreRandomThanYouWouldBelieve, NJ94, Aniseed, Kelli, and hopelessromanticgurl for reviewing! ****Now enjoy!**

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_One joy scatters a hundred griefs_. ~Chinese Proverb

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**Saturday, February 20th 8:00 AM (**_Four days later_**)**

"You're beautiful," Edward whispers sincerely, his liquid gold eyes burning with honesty.

I self-consciously look down at my dark red ball gown. "Really? You think?"

I feel Edward place his pale fingers beneath my chin and coax me to look at him. "I don't think, I know," he says seriously before breaking out into a huge, crooked smile.

I return the smile and study him more closely. His black tux contrasts beautifully with his extremely pale skin and the roses in his hands are so beautiful. I unconsciously step closer to him and his eyes darken as I stare adoringly at him. I lick my lips and take one step closer. I tilt my head upwards and he leans down. My breath catches in anticipation as our lips are about to make delicious contact.

"Bella!" he unexpectantly yells.

I jump, startled. "What?"

"Come on, Bella! We don't have all day!"

I widen my eyes, bewildered. "Edward, what are you…what are you talking about?"

"Bella, seriously, open your eyes," he says, impatient now, his voice sounding a lot deeper than usual.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Okay?" I hesitantly close my eyes and then open them.

"Ahhh!" I scream as I see Emmett's face a centimeter away from mine.

"Ahhh!" Emmett yells even louder, nearly blowing out my eardrums.

I push his face away and sit up angrily. "What the hell, Emmett?"

He chuckles; I growl. "Calm down, kitten. I was just trying to get your attention."

"Well, next time please don't lean over me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack."

He cocks his head to the side. "But, Bella, vampires can't get heart attacks."

I roll my eyes in exasperation before turning around, grabbing a pillow, and hitting him on the head with it.

"Damn girl," he scowls as he rubs his head. "You're in a mood today,"

I take several deep, calming breathes. "Sorry, Emmett," I grumble.

He smiles and shrugs, his easy-going attitude making it impossible for him to stay annoyed for long. "What were you doing anyway? You looked like you were dead."

"Thanks, Emmett," I snap. "Every girl wants to hear that they look dead. Please use that line on Rose and take a picture of her reaction. I could really use a laugh."

"Aww," he croons. "Bells woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Did not." I cross my arms across my chest defensively.

He rolls his gold eyes. "Whatever. But seriously squirt, you weren't moving and your eyes were closed."

"I was just daydreaming," I answer. _And a damn good one at that_, I add silently.

Truth is, every night I've just laid on my bed, closed my eyes, and let the closest thing to sleep a vampire can get envelop me. Frequently, I've let my imagination run wild and thought of several scenarios involving an infatuated Edward and me, the object of his infatuation. Ahh, if only…

"Now what do you want?" I ask, my voice a little sharp.

"You weren't a morning person when you were human, were you, Bella?" Emmett asks, inviting himself to sit on my bed, seeming unaffected with my tone. Though, I guess he is used to it, with Rose being his wife and all.

I sigh. "No, I don't think so, Emmett." The reason I'm being so grumpy is because, well come on, you would be a little annoyed too if someone interrupted you from a kiss with _Edward Cullen_. Albeit, it was not a real kiss, but still.

"Hmm, well what were you daydreaming about?" he asks curiously.

Thankfully, I'm saved from answering him because at that moment someone opens my bedroom door. I brighten up immediately, my bad mood forgotten as I see that it is Edward himself entering my room.

"What's taking you guys so long?" he asks both of us, yet he's smiling right at me. I happily grin back at him.

"Bella was dreaming," Emmett answers loudly.

As Edward's gaze turns curious I only have one thought in mind: I hate Emmett Cullen.

"What were you dreaming about?" Edward questions, leaning his beautifully sculpted body against the doorway.

"Just uh you know…" I fumble for an answer. Dammit, how am I supposed to come up with a good cover story with him smiling at me like that? Ugh, like seriously, I hate Emmett with a burning passion.

"Hey, Bella, were you a sleep-talker when you were human?" Emmett asks suddenly.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, my troubles momentarily forgotten. "How did you know?"

"You were mumbling to yourself when I came in here. I think I heard you say Edward's name a couple of times…" he trials off wickedly.

There are no words, no words at all to explain my hatred for him.

I stare heatedly at my bedcover, too embarrassed to look at Edward's reaction.

"Uh I…uh yeah I was just imagining that um…I was beating him in a…uh chess match," I lie hurriedly, playing with my fingers nervously.

"Please." The sound of his velvet voice forces me to look at him. "There's no way you can beat me."

"I don't know, Edward." Emmett taps his chin thoughtfully. "With your power not working on her, you won't be able to cheat."

I breathe a sigh of relief as I realize that they actually bought my story.

Edward opens his mouth to protest, but Emmett continues speaking before he can do so. "Anyway, Bella, the reason we need you is because it's time for some more training."

I groan. Loudly.

oOo

"More training?" I demand as I plop down next to Esme and Carlisle on the couch. "I told you guys, I already got the strength thing down."

"We know, sweetie, and we are very proud of you." Esme smiles at me.

"But," Jasper continues. "You've only achieved one objective. Now we have to move on to the next three."

I grin in amusement. Of course Jasper has a list of objectives. Knowing him, he probably has training exercises in mind for each and a predicted time period in which I will master each exercise and objective. "And what exactly are the next three objectives?" I question curiously, leaning into Esme's side. She puts an arm around me and I smile comfortably.

"Well, briefly they are speed, touch, and fidgeting," Jasper answers.

"Huh?" Is my response.

"Basically we are going to teach you how to act human," Alice explains.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Act human? But I already know how to act human. I mean, I _was _a human less than two months ago."

"Bella, one of the advantages of being a vegetarian is being able to be around humans," Carlisle says.

"Which means you have to pass as a human," Emmett adds.

"Which means you have to act human," Edward continues

"Which, regardless of what you think, you don't know how to do," Rose finishes.

I turn to Jasper and bite my lip. "I'm confused," I admit.

Jasper laughs. "Trust me, Bella, I know." I smile sheepishly as he sends a wave of calm towards me.

"Walk around the room at human pace," Esme orders me gently.

I stand up hesitantly and walk slowly around the room until I'm back where I started.

"See? That's what I meant when I said we have to work on your speed," Jasper says.

Before I have time to question him, Emmett speaks. "Hug Edward," he says wickedly.

I widen my eyes in confusion and disbelief, but Edward stands up without hesitating and walks towards me.

Remember when I said I hated Emmett? Well, I change my mind. Bless him. I can't express in words how much I love the big guy.

Edward stops in front of me and opens his arms wide. His eyes twinkle with warmth and his inviting smile leaves me breathless. I grin eagerly and step into his embrace. I hug his waist tightly and bask in how perfect we fit together. Really, I need to send Emmett a Best Big Brother trophy or something.

I feel Edward's breath warm the top of my head as he buries his face in my hair. I smile blissfully and breathe in deeply. His scent is like no other and I tighten my grip on him.

"You guys can let go of each other now," Emmett says, his voice suddenly sharp and annoyed.

_I hate Emmett Cullen_ is all I can think as Edward slowly moves away. He briefly touches my cheek with one hand and gives me one last smile before going back to his seat on the couch. I frown, wanting very much to be in his arms again.

"Bella," Alice says, forcing me to tear my gaze away from Edward and look at her. "Now we need you to sit down and pretend that we are all humans. As in, sit and act like you would if you were in a roomful of humans."

I do as she says and sit on the couch. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but for the next five minutes I sit still.

"We have a lot of work to do," Carlisle comments not unkindly.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and frown. I don't think I did anything wrong.

"Bella," Alice begins. "When you walked around the room, you were going so fast that you would have been nothing but a blur to the human eyes."

"Watch and learn, sis," Emmett stands up and walks oh so slowly around the room. "This is human speed."

My mouth drops. "But you are going _so slow_," I exclaim.

"Slow to you, yes," Carlisle agrees. "But slow to a human? No, he was walking at the correct pace."

"Our eyes, Bella, register things so much better and quicker than human eyes," Jasper explains. "We also move incredibly fast. If we went at our full speed around a human we would practically be invisible to them."

"Which is why we need to work on your speed, dear," Esme continues. "You need to learn how to move slowly and do things at a human pace."

"And my touch?" I ask uncertainly. Was my hug terrible?

"It was a great hug, Bella," Edward assures, smiling at me. "But your grip…well, it was rather tight. And it…it hurt slightly." My face falls at this and Edward hurries to reassure me. "Only a little, really. But the point is if that hug hurt _me_, a vampire? Then if you hugged a human like that their…their bones would crack under the pressure…and they…they would surely die. Instantly."

I gasp and look at my hands. I close them into fists. If I were to hold a human in these hands, they wouldn't live to see another day.

"And when you sit, Bella," Rose adds. "You don't move at all. You need to fidget. Play with your fingers, move around, tap your fingers, scratch your leg, twirl your hair around your finger, and for God's sake, blink, why don't you?"

I slump my shoulders, defeated. They were right; I wouldn't last two seconds out in the human world.

"We don't mean to be harsh," Alice says gently while Edward glares at Rose. "But this is serious stuff."

"Exactly," Carlisle agrees. "If you move too fast or don't move at all in front of a human, you risk looking unnatural, and therefore you run the risk of exposing our kind."

"Not to mention, if you don't learn how to control how you touch, it would be impossible to explain why you snapped a human's wrist off while trying to high-five them," Emmett adds.

"And if you expose us, then the Volturi will visit," Rose warns.

"And you don't want the Volturi to visit you, trust me," Jasper says seriously.

I furrow my eyebrows. "The Volturi?"

"The closest thing to a government vampires have," Edward explains. "Vampires only have to follow one rule: do not expose ourselves to humans. If you do that, then the Volturi will come and will most likely kill you."

I flinch. "Okay," I say determinedly. "Teach me."

Jasper smiles at my response. "What do you want to start with first?"

"Touching," I say hurriedly. I need plenty of practice with hugging. And well, if Edward wants to help…

Everyone raises their eyebrows at my quick and eager response. I look down sheepishly. "You know…I uh don't want to…kill any humans with my…uh…strength…yeah."

Carlisle nods, accepting this, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Okay," Jasper claps his hands. "Everyone line up!"

In a blink of an eye, all seven Cullens are standing side to side in front of me. I smile nervously as Jasper gestures for me to near him. He grins warmly when I approach him.

"Alright, Bella," he starts. "You're going to pretend that all of us are humans that you are meeting for the first time. So you're going to shake our hands and when your grip becomes too strong for a human, we will say 'Ow.'" I nod to show that I understand and he smiles.

"Great, let's get started." He holds a hand out. "Madam, what a pleasure to meet you," he says in his Southern drawl.

I grin, all my nervousness disappearing at Jasper's soft eyes and calm waves gently hitting me. "It's nice to meet you, also, Mister."

I take his hand in mine and almost as soon as I move to shake it, he lets out an "Ow,"

I frown as I let go of his hand and move to the next person in line, Esme.

"Hello, dear, my name is Esme." She smiles reassuringly at me.

"Nice to meet you, Esme, I'm Bella," I say before griping her outstretched hand.

"Ow," Esme says immediately, giving me an apologetic look.

I sigh as I move on to Alice.

"Hi!" she chirps excitedly.

I grin at her enthusiasm. "Hey." Alice holds out her small, pale hand expectantly. I stare down at it, purse my lips, and look back at her bright gold eyes. "Is there any point?"

Alice pauses as her eyes get a distant look in them and she looks into the future. "Nope," she finally says. "Your grip will still be too strong. But try anyway. Practice does make perfect."

I nod and take her hand in mine.

"Oh, woah, Bella," she says in surprise.

"What?" I say excitedly. Was her vision wrong? Is my grip correct this time?

"You have really soft hands!" she exclaims as she turns my hand over.

Frustrated, I pull my hand away from her grip and stomp to the next person in line.

"Madam, Dr. Cullen is at your service," Carlisle gives me an exaggerated bow and I can't help but to laugh. These Cullens sure do know how to make me smile even when I'm in a bad mood.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen." I shake his hand.

"Sorry, sweetie," he says after a millisecond of holding my hand.

Expecting this, I nod and walk up to Emmett.

"Hey Bells! I'm Mr. Awesome."

I smile and roll my eyes. "Um well, it's nice to meet you, Emmett."

"Who is this Emmett that you speak of? I only know of Mr. Awesome, but I dare say that this Emmett sounds like a brilliant, handsome man."

"Just shake my hand," I order, amused as I hold my hand out.

He grins, pleased with himself, before grasping his hand in mine. "Sorry, Bells," he says as soon as I start to shake his hand.

I sigh disappointedly and walk to Rose.

"Rose," she announces, holding her hand out.

"No, Rosie, your _Mrs._ Awesome," Emmett whispers seriously.

We both ignore him and join hands. "Ow," she says, almost apologetically, before removing her hand from my grip and leaning into Emmett.

Last, but _definitely_ not least, Edward is up.

"Hi," I smile hugely when I step in front of him. "I'm Bella."

"Bella," he whispers my name. He takes my hand in his warm one and moves it so his lips are hovering over it. My breath catches and he smiles, knowing and liking the effect he has on me. "I'm so happy that I've met you." And that's when he kisses my hand lightly as his stare smolders me. My god, his lips are so soft and surprisingly warm. I almost whimper as his lips detach and he pulls away.

"Ow," he laughs lightly and I look down only to realize that I have his hand in an iron-clad grip.

"Sorry, I'll just…I'll go back to Jasper now," I say hurriedly, sure that if I was human my face would be beet red. I hurry back to the front of the line.

"We meet again, Miss." Jasper smiles cheekily as he holds his hand out.

oOo

By the end of two hours, I've been through the line fifteen times and have gotten to the point where I can now shake their hands once before they say "Ow," whereas two hours ago I would barely hold their hand before they would stop me. Jasper thought this was sufficient progress and said I could take a short break before we started again. This time I'll be learning how to give high-fives. Whoo! I can't wait…

"Bella," I hear Alice call softly as she knocks on my door.

"Come in," I say as I sit up on my bed.

She enters the room and gives me an excited smile. I groan quietly as I see that darn mischievous twinkle in her gold eyes.

"Okay, so Jasper told me you were feeling disappointed in yourself—which I don't why you would since you did great—but anyway, I know the perfect way to cheer you up!"

She leaves the room for a quick second and comes back carrying at least twenty different brightly-colored magazines. I sigh heavily as Alice grins and heaves the pile of magazines onto the bed.

"What's all of this?" I ask, though I have a pretty good guess of what she had in mind.

"Well, you said, no, you _promised _that I could buy you a whole new wardrobe—"

"You also promised that you wouldn't go overboard," I interrupt.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Alice says innocently.

I pointedly raise an eyebrow at all of the magazines. I let out an embarrassed hiss as I read one of the magazines' cover. Alice laughs in amusement as I hurriedly shoo the _Victoria's Secret_ catalog under my pillow. She nudges my side suggestively and gives me an exaggerated wink. I shake my head briefly in disbelief before laughing myself.

"You are ridiculous." I shove her lightly.

She smiles. "Me? I'm not the one who loves _Victoria's Secret_'s catalogs so much that I place it under my pillow for safekeeping."

I shove her again. "That's not why I did that and you know it."

She laughs and pushes me back. "Whatever, let's start looking."

I groan, thinking about all the other things I could be doing with my time right now, such as spending some quality time with a certain someone. "Listen, Alice, you can pick out all the clothes. I'm just going to go see—"

She waves a finger at me. "No, Bella. I would love to pick out your clothes, but Carlisle says that I have to consult you before getting anything."

I sigh. She knows I'd never go against Carlisle's wishes. Seeing my defeat, Alice eagerly plucks a magazine from the pile and places it between us.

"I mean, no offense, Bella," she says as she starts to open the magazine. "But the clothes you've been wearing are just an abomination. I know, I know, you're not trying to impress anyone, but still."

My face falls because she's wrong. I do have someone to impress. I look down disheartedly at what I'm wearing. Rolled up faded jeans and another one of Jasper's shirts that goes down to my knees.

I sigh. Maybe Alice is right. Maybe Edward would like me better if I looked more like Rose or Alice. Maybe I should wear skirts and make-up and other girly stuff. Is that why he doesn't _like like_ me? Because I don't look good enough? No, Edward isn't shallow like that. But still, it can't hurt to look prettier. Plus, Edward is beautiful. Like you don't even know, he is gor-g-eous and he deserves a beautiful girlfriend, which I am not.

Alice, oblivious to my worries, continues to flip through the magazine pages. "Ooh," she says as soon as she finds something she likes. "That's pretty."

I take one look at the extremely tight white skirt the girl on the page is modeling and shake my head. "No way." I mean, I want to look beautiful, but that's a little too short for comfort.

"Why not?" Alice demands. "It would look great on you!"

"No it wouldn't," I disagree. There's no way I could pull that off.

"Yeah it would," she persists. "Here, let's get a man's opinion." And before I can stop her, she's yelling Edward's name.

I cover my face in my hands and pray that Edward's hearing has been seriously damaged in the last five minutes since I've seen him. Unfortunately, Edward seems to be able to hear things perfectly, and appears at the door in a heartbeat.

"Yes?" he asks curiously and with just a hint of repressed eagerness.

"Edward," Alice greets happily. "Can you please tell Bella that she would look gorgeous with this skirt on her?"

I stand up so that Edward has space to lean down and look at the picture that Alice is currently pointing at. I avoid his eyes so I don't see his initial reaction, but seconds after studying the picture, I feel Edward's heavy stare on me. I glance at him only to see that he is gazing at my outstretched legs. He smiles as he turns to Alice. "I think you should get her the matching heels, too."

Alice claps her hands. "That's exactly what I was thinking!"

I widen my eyes before looking back at the page again, this time seeing the six-inch red heels the girl is also sporting.

Edward laughs at the expression on my face. "I'm only kidding, Bella, you know you'll look beautiful in anything you wear," he says sincerely.

"Really? You think?" I ask self-consciously, once again looking down at my less than appealing outfit.

I feel Edward place his pale fingers beneath my chin and coax me to look at him. "I don't think, I know," he says seriously before breaking out into a huge, crooked smile.

And, no, I'm not unaware of the fact that this is almost exactly how my dream went. And, no, I'm not unaware of the fact that this is the part where we kiss.

But, alas, dreams don't always come true.

Edward doesn't lean in to kiss me, but instead he grabs the magazine from Alice. He holds up the picture of the attractive, blond model sporting the tight skirt, high heels, and low-cut top. "This," he points to the picture, "isn't you, Bella. What you look like is better than what this girl looks like because what you wear now is _you_. And, well, I really like yo—I mean, I really like the way you are." He smiles and looks down almost shyly before looking up again, fixing me with a smoldering stare. "Don't ever change, Bella."

And you know what? Sometimes reality is so much better than your dreams. What Edward said means more to me than any kiss he could have given me because with those words he wiped away all my insecurities, and with those warm, honest eyes directed at me, he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. And I didn't think this was possible, but I think that I fell for him a little bit more in that moment.

I grin and I feel so…so…oh my god, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel so _happy_. For the first time as a vampire, I feel happy. I laugh, giddy as I take Edward's hand in mine. I look seriously at him and bite my lip to stop a huge smile from blossoming on my face. "Don't ever change, either, Edward. I mean that."

He smiles and steps closer to me. "Oh, but Bella, you make me _want_ to change. You make me want to be a better man and I can't thank you enough for that."

This time, I'm the one that takes a step closer to him, and his eyes darken as I stare adoringly at him. I lick my lips and take one step closer. I tilt my head upwards and he leans down. My breath catches in anticipation as our lips are about to make delicious contact. But before we can, a loud sniffle causes both of us to turn away.

"I'm sorry." Alice sniffles again as she wipes away a nonexistent tear. "But that was just so beautiful. The way you guys were looking at each other…but, please, don't let me stop you." She waves a hand in gesture for us to continue, but neither Edward nor I make a move. "Oh, right, you want some privacy. I won't look, I promise." She turns away and faces the wall.

I look at Edward, but he's not looking at me. He's staring at the door and my heart plummets as it looks like he is about to bolt. Gah, I'm so stupid. He doesn't want to kiss me. He just wants to be friends. Why can't I get that through my thick head?

"Uh," I mumble, turning my stare to the ground. "Actually, Alice, maybe we should just get back to shopping."

"Yeah." Edward rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm just going to go now."

"No," I protest.

I don't want him to run away. I can't bear to see him walk out the door because by doing so, it would mean that everything has been changed. It would mean that Edward would be back to distancing himself, and I can't go through that again. Not now, not when we are getting along so well.

"Stay," I say. I need to show both him and myself that I can behave myself and that I'm fine being just friends. "Please," I add, hating the desperate tone in my voice.

He takes another look at the door and then looks back at me. His face softens and he nods. "Yeah, yeah, I have to stay. I mean, who else is going to make sure that Alice doesn't buy anything ridiculous?"

I force a smile, sit back down on the bed, and pat the spot next to me. He joins us on the bed, and moves my huge pillow to make some room. Oh god. I close my eyes in dismay as he lays eyes on the _Victoria's Secret_ catalog lying there and Alice laughs loudly in amusement. I open my eyes only to find Edward staring at the front cover featuring an attractive woman clad in a very revealing lingerie piece. He looks up at me and raises a very interested eyebrow in question.

"It's not mine," I say hurriedly, but then I join Alice in laughing because the whole thing really is ridiculous. Edward shakes his head in amusement and drops the magazine on the bed.

"Hey." Jasper suddenly appears at the doorway. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," Edward responds, winking at me. I smile, overjoyed that we are back to normal.

Jasper rolls his eyes. "Well, come on guys," he says. "Time for more training."

We all nod and get off the bed. As we walk out the door, Alice puts an arm around my waist.

"I really ruined your guys' moment back there, didn't I?" she asks, sounding so sad and sorry.

"Oh, shush, sis." I kiss the top of her head. "You did nothing of the sort," I reassure.

She smiles and gives me a tight hug before skipping ahead of me. I grin and make a move to follow her, but before I can, this time Jasper puts an arm around me.

"You were feeling quite a whirlwind of emotions back there, little sis," he whispers. I widen my eyes in horror, thinking that he was going to mention the emotions I shouldn't feel for Edward, my dear ol' _friend_. But he doesn't mention that, thankfully. "I'm glad that you're _finally_ feeling happy, Bella, even if it was for just a few minutes," he says sincerely.

I grin and snuggle into his side. "Me too, Jasper, me too."

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**There we go! And yeah I know, I haven't updated in a while. But I'm going to do better with next chapter, I promise. I'm excited to write it because it's going to involve more Edward and Bella and they shall have a heart-to-heart. So let's make a deal. 30 or more reviews, I'll update on Tuesday, 25-30 on Wednesday, 15-25 on Thursday, and less than 15 on next Monday. So review! Of course, you'll also get a sneak preview!**

**Thanks for Reading!**

**For those who celebrate it: Merry Almost Christmas!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	10. Conversations Up in a Tree

**Hey! A big thank you to alicefan32, dlajmc, Twilighter930, DizzyIzzyCullen, et1141412, Conan in love, Jangshi1, Topazeye, FelicityT, Aniseed, LIZ911, drumbjo, Kristin04, AliciaCullenLove, Miss Rizz, aleki98, BellaWizard, Mask with a truth, sapphyre18, RosesFromDrew, twilightsaga96, NJ94, hopelessromanticgurl, pixie, tina062093, and xxxbulletxxx for taking the time to review! ****Now here's chapter 10, enjoy!**

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"_Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."_

_~Unknown_

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**Sunday, April 20th 6:00 P.M (Two Months Later) **

"Okay, Bella, I think you're ready to move on to the next objective," Jasper says from his seat on the couch across from me.

"What? I still haven't gotten the hang of my touch," I protest.

It's true. Even after two months of practicing, I still had some trouble. I've made a lot of progress though. I can now high-five, give a side-hug, tickle, nudge, pat someone on the back, elbow, and knuckle-touch a human without well, killing them. But I still had trouble with playfully punching someone, shaking hands, and hugging.

"I know, but you're getting close," Jasper responds. "Now I'm thinking that we can move on to working on your speed, and, of course, we'll continue working on your touch."

I groan. Working on just one of Jasper's 'objectives' was enough. He couldn't just confine my training to sessions. No, 24/7 I have to work on my touch. Anytime I hug one of the Cullens in greeting, shove them, nudge them, or do anything else that requires touching they have to say 'Ow' if my grip was too strong for a human.

"You'll be fine, Bella," Esme smiles reassuringly.

"Yeah," Jasper agrees. "Here, let's practice some more." I sigh. All I'm doing these days is practicing. "Emmett and Alice stand up, please." They do so. "Okay, Bella, shake their hands."

I stand up and first walk up to Emmett. He grins at me before holding his hand out. I carefully grip it with my own hand. What I've realized is that the trick is paying attention to the bones I'm gripping. I tighten my grip until just when I feel the bones in their hand squeeze together. Of course, the stopping point is different for every person. The grip I use on someone Emmett's size is going to be too strong if I wanted to shake a human Alice's size.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I finish shaking Emmett's hand without him saying 'Ow.' Emmett smiles proudly at me and pats my shoulder as I move on to Alice.

"Hi, Bella!" she chirps, holding out her little hand.

I smile back at her, though it's a weak one. Alice is the only one nowadays that gives me trouble. Every bone in her is so tiny that it's so easy for me to squeeze them too tightly.

I take her hand in mine, concentrating on the bones in her soft, pale hand. I shake her hand a couple of times and she stays silent.

"Did I do it?" I ask in surprise.

She grins. "Well, if I was human, the grip would be a little too strong, but not enough that it'll hurt me or enough that I'll start to wonder about your strength."

"Great job, Bella!" Carlisle says from the side. "Now try punching them lightly."

I look at Emmett and grin wickedly, an idea forming in my mind.

"Oh no." Jasper chuckles warmly. "Watch out, Emmett. Bella is feeling really mischievous."

I widen my eyes innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Alice smiles, knowing what I have in mind, and gives me an encouraging wink.

"I'm not scared, Jasper," Emmett puffs out his chest. "What can little Belly do that—" He never finishes because just then I make my hand into a loose fist, bring it back, and then hit Emmett right on the face. I don't hit him enough to hurt him, just enough that it would sting slightly—the vampire equivalent of a playful punch.

"Hey!" Emmett holds his left cheek, the place I had hit him. "What was that for?" he demands as everyone around us laughs.

"First, for calling me Belly," I shudder. "And second for jumping out of my closet yesterday and nearly giving me a heart attack!" I poke him on the chest.

He rolls his golden eyes. "I've told you hundreds of times that vampires can't have heart attacks."

"And I have told you _thousands_ of times that it's just a figure of speech," I counter.

He continues as if I've never spoken. "And plus, I can't help it. It is so fun to scare you. That squeal of yours…" he chuckles.

I shake my head, but choose to let it go. Instead, I reach out and place a hand where I had hit him. "It doesn't hurt, right?" I ask, suddenly worried that I had caused him pain.

Emmett scoffs incredulously, clearly thinking that the idea of _me_ hurting _him_ is utterly preposterous. "Of course not," he waves a hand dismissively. "You're fine, Bella," he says, smiling as he claps me on the shoulder.

"Ow!" I squeak, rubbing the spot he had hit me. "You did that on purpose!"

"Emmett," Carlisle warns sternly while Edward growls.

"What? That is blatant favoritism, Carlisle." Emmett pretends to be offended. "Oh, don't say anything when Bella punches me in the face, but when I _accidently _hit her a _little_ too hard, it's all 'Emmett' in that warning voice you always use. Well, you know what, Carlisle? That hurts. That hurts right here." He points to his heart dramatically.

"Psst, Emmett," I whisper, gesturing for him to come closer as if I'm about to tell him a secret. He does and I whisper right into his ear "No offense or anything, but you kinda don't have a live heart since you are, you know, dead."

Emmett pulls away and frowns at me. "Bella, it's just a figure of speec—" he pauses as I raise an eyebrow at him. "Ahh, okay, I got it. It's a figure or speech just like your whole heart attack phrase thing was. Good one, squirt."

Carlisle smiles in amusement. "And you're right, Emmett. I should also berate Bella in that 'warning voice I always use.'" He turns towards me. "Bella, punching Emmett on the face was a rather inappropriate act," he tells me in mock firmness.

I hang my head. "I regret it with every bone in my body."

Carlisle nods in feigned seriousness. "Good."

"That's it?" Emmett explains. "I am so hurt and—"

"Oh, give it up, Emmett." Edward rolls his eyes. "You know we all like Bella better than you," he adds, giving me a crooked smile.

"Well then!" Emmett exclaims, plopping down on the nearest couch, acting all offended. "Well, say whatever you want, Edward, I still know that I'm my Rosie's number one. Right, Rose?" he turns to his wife who is sitting right next to him.

"Always, babe," Rose pecks the cheek where my punch had landed. Edward and Jasper pretend to fake vomit at this gesture, leading to Emmett throwing a pillow at them, resulting in a lecture from Esme about the importance of her pillows, causing Emmett, Jasper, and Edward to move their fight onto the floor, leading to Esme lecturing them about the importance of her rug and Carlisle's threat to suspend video game privileges while Rose and Alice get in a heated argument about whether or not the color of my midnight blue nail polish is too dark or not. Yup, just another day with the Cullens.

"Okay," Jasper clears his throat as he takes his spot back on the couch. "Now that we are not behaving like _immature children_ anymore," he glances at Esme as he says this, who rolls her eyes in response. "Let us get back to—" Jasper stops talking as Emmett lets out a booming laugh.

"What?" he says when everyone stares at him. "Did no one else find that funny? Let us. Lettuce. Get it?"

Everyone rolls their eyes. "_Anyway, _as I was saying, let us," Jasper ignores Emmett's laugh this time, "get back to the task at hand. Bella, give Alice a playful punch."

"Just don't punch me on the face." Alice smiles at me as I walk up to her.

"Oh, of course not. _You_ are a nice sibling." I raise an eyebrow at Emmett pointedly, to which he sticks his tongue at.

I grin, turning back to Alice. I take a deep breath, and then punch her lightly on the shoulder. "Ow," she says apologetically.

I sigh and try again, this time working on putting less force behind the punch. The hard part about this was that I had to bring my arm back and make my fist swing through the air quickly, making it look like I was putting some effort into it while really putting no effort in it at all. This time, I barely press my fist into her shoulder, but I know that to a human that the punch would be strong, not enough to leave a bruise, but enough that the skin would turn red. I don't even wait for Alice to say 'Ow' before trying again. This time I do it perfectly and she smiles as she gives me a brief hug in congratulations.

"Okay, perfect," Jasper claps his hands together. "Now we just need to practice hugging and then we can move one."

Without waiting for Jasper to call upon him, Edward stands up and gives me a crooked smile. I grin back, my mood brightening at the prospect of being in his arms again. See, I can hug everyone in this room without them saying 'Ow' except for Edward. Partly because I loved having my arms wrapped around his lean, gorgeous body so much that I couldn't resist tightening my grip in an attempt to get closer to him and partly because well, I just didn't want to have my grip be perfect.

What? Psh, no, I don't purposely fail, I just…don't try as hard as I should. And, yes, there is a difference. Oh, come on, don't look at me like that, this is the only time I get to hug him. I know that if I successfully hug him like I would hug a human of his build then there would be no reason for me to hug him again. I'm addicted to the feel of his strong arms enveloping me, his sweet smell swirling around me, the smile on his face that I feel as his lips ghost across the top of my head, the—

Edward wraps his hands over my shoulders and leans in, interrupting my thoughts, though, of course I don't mind. "I know you can do it, Bella," he whispers into my ear .

I shiver in pleasure and sigh at the same time. Sigh because I know that this time I have to really really try. I can't disappoint him and plus, afterwards, I want to see the tug of his beautiful lips that will tell me that he's proud of me.

So I snake my arms around his torso and silently say goodbye to the blissful feeling that comes from being this close to a guy this great. I make sure my grip is not strong enough to crush his ribs and bite my lip as I wait for when he says 'Ow'. But sadly, he doesn't and I know that my hug is good. I resist the urge to pull him in tighter—for I want no space in between us—and try to memorize the way we fit perfectly together, like we were made for one another.

"Okay, guys," comes Emmett's annoyed voice. I roll my eyes. I don't know why, but he's always the one who dictates how long Edward and I hug. I wait for Edward to pull away like he always does at this point, but he doesn't. Maybe, just maybe, he knows this is probably our last hug, too, and wants to preserve it for as long as possible. Ah, if only…

Sadly, he eventually does break our hug, but I'm not sad for long because he gives me that damn crooked smile of his. "You did it, Bella. Great job," he says with a proud twinkle in his topaz eyes.

I smile sincerely at him. "Thanks, Edward."

"Awesome, she can hug. Finally," Rose says in a bored one, looking up from the magazine she was previously flipping through. "Now can we move on?"

"Well, actually, for this next part, we don't need everyone," Jasper says. "I'll just take Bella outside and we can practice walking around the forest at human pace, and then—"

"I can do that," Edward interrupts hurriedly.

Jasper narrows his gold eyes at him. "No, it's fine, Edward. Thanks, though."

"It's not a problem, Jasper. I would love to help her," Edward insists.

"Again, thanks, but I can handle this and—"

"Jasper," Alice interrupts her husband. "Let them go. Don't you have that program on the  
History channel that you wanted to catch?"

Seeing his resolve shaking, I jump in. "Really, Jasper. Edward and I will be fine. We'll be back in no time." That last part is a lie, really. I hope we don't arrive for a long, long time.

Jasper sighs, finally, reluctantly, giving in. "Okay."

Edward and I share a happy glance before both of us head to the front door. I reach out a hand for the door knob, but Edward stops me.

"Uh, uh, uh," he grins as he moves between the door and me. "What gentleman would I be if I didn't hold the door open for m'lady?"

I smile and he grins back as he opens the door dramatically and gives an exaggerated sweeping gesture for me to pass.

I giggle. "Why thank you, my kind sir." I step onto the porch and Edward follows and closes the door behind him.

"Oh my god," I say as I continue walking towards the forest. "This," I turn back to face Edward, "is a miracle. It's actually not raining in Forks and what? The sky is actually blue with no rain clouds in sight?"

Edward laughs. "It is convenient for our purposes. Come on, follow me." He runs at vampire speed into the dense forest. I follow him and we run side to side until he stops in the middle of a large clearing.

"Okay." He walks to the end of the clearing very slowly. "This is walking at human pace."

I nod and try to copy his pace, but it's so slow and awkward for me to get right. "Well, that's close to the right pace, but if a human saw you doing that they would think your pants were too tight or something. Don't take such wide steps next time," he directs, his topaz eyes soft with patience.

I nod and try again, but I still don't do it correctly.

"Shorten your stride," Edward calls. I do so, but still no dice.

"I know it feels weird, but you'll get it in no time," Edward encourages. "Here, I'm going to stand right next to you and you just follow what I do with your legs."

Doing this, we walk back and forth across the clearing a couple of times.

"Okay, now try on your own," he orders, stopping in the middle of the clearing and making a gesture for me to continue.

I bite my lip in concentration and walk slowly.

"You're walking too slowly."

"Too fast."

"Too slow."

"Okay, speed it up just a tiny bit."

"Walk a little slower."

"Edward!" I finally groan in frustration when I reach the end of the clearing.

He smiles. "Sorry, you're right. A human wouldn't notice those slight differences."

I nod and continue walking, this time walking towards him.

"Shorten your stride."

"Widen your stance a little."

We continue like this for the next ten minutes—Edward points out my flaws, and I try to correct them.

"Okay, okay, that's perfect. Keep going like that," Edward encourages when I finally get it right. "Slow down just a tad. And yes, I think you got it." He gives me a sincere applause.

I bow as I breathe a sigh of relief. "Great." I smile. "Now let's take a little break."

"Break?" Edward repeats with a frown. "You want to go back to the house already?" he asks, sounding both hurt and confused.

"No, no," I hurry to reassure. "I just meant that we could do something else for a little bit and then get back to work."

"Okay," Edward agrees. "What do you have in mind?"

I shrug as I turn around, tapping my chin in thought. "Ooh!" I say when I eye a tree with a plethora of branches. "Let's climb!" I rush over to the ancient tree and jump onto one of its branches.

"Bella, I really don't think that's a good idea," Edward says nervously, not making a move to follow me.

I look down at him in disbelief. "And why not? Come on, it's easy." Without waiting for a response, I continue climbing the tree, going from one branch to another.

"Bella, I just—"Edward starts to protest again, but sighs midway. I turn towards him and smile when I see him at the bottom of the trunk, positioning his hands to climb.

Grinning, I go up and up and up, making sure to never look at the ground until I'm at the very top of the tree. I sit down on one of the top branches and Edward soon catches up and sits down on the branch next to mine. I turn to sit sideways on the branch and he follows my lead so that we are facing each other, our knees almost touching. I look up at him, ready to start talking, but I'm surprised to see him scowling and his golden eyes alight with…anger?

"Bella, that was completely dangerous and reckless—" he starts to rant, but stops and narrows his eyes when I snort disbelievingly.

"Dangerous? Edward, we're _vampires._ We can't die. We would fall, and sure, we'll get a little dirty, but we wouldn't break any bones or anything."

He opens his mouth to protest, but then sighs. "I know, but I just…I worry about you. I can't help it," he says sincerely, unconsciously angling his body towards mine almost protectively.

"Aww," I melt. "That's sweet, Edward. But you shouldn't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me."

He bites his lip. "But if I saw you fall fifty feet to the ground? Seeing that would petrify me. Even though I know you're indestructible, just the thought of you getting hurt…" he shudders.

It's bad, I know, to smile to so hugely when he is so distressed, but the fact that he cares so much warms my heart. And I get what he means. If Edward were to fall right now, the fact that he would be fine and stand up without a scratch wouldn't cross my mind. All I would be able to think about would be the image of his broken body landing on the hard ground.

I put a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. "I'm not going to get hurt, okay? You know what? Let's just go down now. I didn't mean for you to get angry." I start to stand up on the branch, but Edward clasps a hand around my arm.

"No, stay. I mean, look at this beautiful view." He gestures outwards, and I follow his gaze.

I gasp at what I see. Winter is clearly gone and in place spring has entered with all her beauty. Trees are back with their bright green leaves, colorful flowers sprout from the ground, gray and foreboding skies are replaced with blue skies, and the temperature is slightly warmer. The sight is beautiful. Edward and I have to be fifty to sixty feet in the air and I can see for miles. I can easily see our house from here—the grand white house surrounded by forest sticking out like a sore thumb. I can also see almost the whole forest, hundreds of trees all around us. Birds are chirping and venom happily flows into my mouth as I smell and see a herd of deer rush by us. I turn back to face Edward and smile hugely.

"It is beautiful," I agree, sitting back down on the dark brown, thick branch. But then I look down and see how far up we are. I swallow heavily and clutch the branch I'm sitting on. I make sure that Edward doesn't see my face because I don't want him to know he was right about it being reckless for me to climb so high.

"It is," Edward says, not noticing my sudden fright. Then he nudges my swinging foot with his own. "So tell me what's wrong," he prompts, his topaz eyes curious.

"Wrong?" I furrow my eyebrows. "Nothing's wrong."

"Come on, I don't have to be Jasper to know that you've been feeling down for a while."

I bite my lip and look away from his probing, concerned eyes. "I haven't been down, it's just…" I hesitate.

"Hey," Edward puts a single finger under my chin and coxes me to look at him. "You can tell me," he insists.

And I realize I can. I love the family and all, but this is the first time Edward and I have ever been completely alone, away from the earshot of the rest of the Cullens. I can talk honestly to him and not worry about interruptions or hurting anyone else's feelings.

"It's the training," I explain simply.

"The training? Is it getting to be too much? Because I can tell Jasper to—"

"No, Jasper is phenomenal," I reassure. "It's just the fact that…that I need training, really."

He furrows his eyebrows. "I'm not sure that I understand."

"I'm training to act human? I was human four months ago and now I don't even know how to act human. It's like I don't know who I am anymore. I still can't believe it sometimes, you know? Sometimes I have to stop and say wow, I really am a vampire, aren't I? It wasn't just some wild dream. Or I wonder, is that really my voice? Or, do I really look like that? Or, are my eyes really that color? I feel so lost in this world…just completely and utterly lost."

"You know this feeling isn't only confined to us vampires," Edward says slowly. "You probably wouldn't be feeling any different if you were human. I mean, humans feel like they don't know who they are at times, too. They go through transitions, too. Granted, not as big as going from being a human to a vampire, but still. They move to new places, get new jobs, become new people. They have to adapt their ways sometimes. They, too, learn to act differently to fit in and change their ways in order to progress. They, too, have to accept change. They, too, feel lost in their own world. I guess what I'm trying to say, Bella, is that what you are feeling is just a part of life, whether you're human or vampire."

"I know," I sigh. "I know I can seem like an ungrateful, narrow-sighted person. Like woe is me, my life is miserable, and all the rest, but I do know that this life isn't _all _that bad. It's actually pretty great if you think about it. I can't help the way I feel, though. I mean, there _are_ times when I feel totally, blissfully happy," _with you, Edward,_ I want to say, _I feel happy when I'm with you_, "but at the same time there are those moments where I feel miserable, like my life couldn't get any worse.

And I know that everyone feels lost at some point in their lives, I'm just saying that it is the worst feeling in the world." I chuckle humorlessly. "But what I don't know is how to be a vampire. All these super senses are still so new to me. There are times when they overwhelm me and I can't tell one scent from another or one sound from another. And all this training to control my strength, touch, and now speed just reminds me how…how clueless and inept I am. I just…I want to be normal. And I know it's not possible, but I want…I want to be _human_."

"And you don't think the rest of us want the same thing?" Edward asks softly.

I widen my eyes in surprise. "You guys do? I mean, I thought you guys were happy, that you loved being vampires."

Edward chuckles. "Far from it, Bella. We're all content and we've accepted our fate, but given the choice? Of course we would want to change back into humans. Rose, Esme, Alice would give anything to have kids, and Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett would do anything to be the fathers of those kids. They all want to grow old with their wives or husbands and be surrounded by their grandchildren."

"And you? Do you want all that?" I ask curiously.

Edward purses his lips in thought. "Yes, but not as much as the others because I don't have a wife. But still, given the choice, I would want to be human. How about you? Do you want kids?"

I bite my lip. "Not now, of course. I'm only seventeen. But later in life, I don't know." I shrug. "Kids never appealed to me. But I'm sure if I found a man to love and married him, I would want to have his kids. Either way, the difference is as a human I would have a choice whether I wanted to have kids or not whereas as a vampire I don't have a choice. I can't have kids no matter what." I sigh.

"You know what I hate the most? I look back at how I was as a human, and it shocks me how much I took for granted. How much all humans take for granted really. The small things—feeling your heart beat against your chest, sweat running down your face, sleeping at night and dreaming, and crying actual salty tears—and the big things—having kids, getting a career, growing old, having _possibilities._ All the stuff we can't do or have," I say sorrowfully before groaning. "Ugh, there I go again. Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a Debbie Downer. I really am grateful for all you guys have done and I love you all. I'm lucky to have this family, I know that."

"Bella," Edward simply says, reaching over and taking my hand into his. I squeeze it tightly, never wanting to let go, loving the reassurance it brought me. "Ow," Edward says absently. With a gasp, I let go of his hand. "Oh!" Edward realizes what he said. "I'm sorry. That was stupid, especially with what we were just talking about. I didn't mean for it to come out—force of habit, I suppose. I'm really sorry—"

"Its fine, Edward." I force a smile. "I have to learn after all. Though," I lean back on my hands and stare at the sky in thought, "there really is no point to all this training."

"No point?" he repeats. "If this is about your…your _plan_," he says with disgust, suddenly angry, "then you can forget about it because the deal says that for two years you_ have_ to learn how to be a vegetarian and only then—"

"I wasn't talking about any of that," I interrupt. "I'm saying it's pointless because I'm never going to be around humans anyway."

"What do you mean? Of course you are. You eventually have to be around humans. That's the whole point of being a vegetarian."

I shake my head. "I could never. After everything you guys have said to me? I'm a monster, Edward. Everything about me is made to kill. My strength? My smell? My powerful senses? My beauty? They all have the common purpose of attracting my prey—humans. I would never put a human at risk. And I obviously can't touch a human because I could kill them with one touch or at least hurt them badly. And I can't be near humans because their smell might overpower me and seduce me into drinking from them. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I killed someone."

"But once you're trained, you can go to school with humans without being tempted to drink from them. And killing them with your touch? You're working on that. You're almost there."

"But you've said before that the others have slipped, right? They've killed someone accidently without meaning to."

"Well," he hesitates, "yes, but that's different."

"How?"

"Because I would never let you harm a human, Bella. I _promise_ you. And plus—we've told you this before—you have such an amazing amount of self-control. You've made more progress in a much shorter time than any of us."

I look dubiously at him.

"Really! Bella, you're way ahead of the game. Newborns are completely blood-crazy their first year. None of us even started training until after our first year and you started just weeks after you were changed. You're learning how to control your _newborn_ strength while the rest of us just learned to control our regular strength, which is so much easier to do. You're amazing, Bella, truly," he says honestly.

I look down shyly. "I wouldn't say that. You on the other hand…" I nudge his knee with my own. "Really, thanks for listening to my rants."

"Anytime, Bella. I mean that." He smiles and I grin back. "And it was great getting into your head for a while; like you don't even know how much I want to be able to read your mind."

"And you don't even know how happy I am that you _can't_ read my _crazy _mind."

Edward chuckles. "I don't know about crazy, more like fascinating."

I look down shyly again at his sweet words.

"You really aren't used to getting compliments, are you?" he observes with a smile on his face. I shake my head. "Well, we better change that. Let's see. You are oh so beautiful, clever, kind, brave, intriguing—" I laugh as I shove him and he grins. "I can go on forever, you know that?"

"Stop it," I say, knowing that if I was human my face would be bright red.

He chuckles. "But really, Bella, thank you for letting your wall down and telling me all those things. You didn't have to."

"And thanks for caring enough to ask what was wrong. I'm glad I told you all of that because now I feel like we have no secrets around each other."

Edward smiles, though it looks extremely forced for some reason. "Yeah, no secrets…" he pursues his lips awkwardly. "Oh hey, we need to head back home before the rest start wondering where we are."

I bite my lip as I look down. It seems like we are hundreds of feet up.

"You won't let me fall, right?" I question nervously as I slowly stand up on the branch I was sitting on. After everything I've said to him, letting him know that I was scared to go down didn't seem so embarrassing anymore.

Edward smiles warmly. "Of course not. And even if you do, which you won't," Edward hurries to add at the sight of my worried expression, "I will catch you. Always."

I nod. "Okay. But uh can you go first?"

Edward nods and begins to climb descend. I resolve not to look down and follow him.

"Wanna race?" Edward asks, a challenging glint in his eyes when, thankfully, we safely get to the ground.

I hesitate. "Well, actually, can we walk at human pace? You know, so I can have a little more practice?"

I know that if Edward and I run home at full-speed, we would be there in less than five minutes, but if we walked at human pace it would take more than an hour to get out of these woods. And more alone time with Edward makes for a very happy Bella. Plus, I need to perfect my pace before I show Jasper what I can do. If I don't do well he'll assume that Edward and I were just horsing around and won't allow any more private sessions.

"Great idea," Edward agrees happily.

So we walk. We don't hold hands, but we are alone and together as we walk close enough to each other that every once in a while our hands 'accidentally' brush each other's, and for now, that is enough for me.

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**There you go! I hope you liked it. Next chapter Charlie comes in and so does drama so review if you want a sneak preview! And Happy Almost New Year! One of my New Year resolutions is to work on my updating. Haha. And I know this completely contradicts what I just said, but exams are coming up in two weeks…I'll try to update soon, though. Next chapter is short. Oh, nevermind. I always say that and it ends up being twice as long as I expect it to be. Anywho, I'll update soon.**

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	11. Desperation

**Here's Chapter 11! As always, a big thanks to those who took the time to review—Topazeye, Paramorefreak100, mymonkeyman101, Nissa-Cullen, xxTeamAlicexx, Jangshi, sapphyre18, aleki98, rpattzgirl08, Conan in love, HeyThereBuddy, jadeEyre, LIZ911, xXJade-RoseXx, Emmett's Babe, Tash 4 Twilight, dolphindreaming, et1141412, alicefan32, xxxbulletxxx, RosesFromDrew, twilightsaga96, Kristin04, NJ94, and hopelessromanticgurl.**

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_I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.  
_Jim Carrey

_Desperate? That can be a justification for all kinds of behavior.  
_Jessica Walter

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**Saturday, April 20th 1:00 P.M. **_(The Next Day)_

The sky is still bright blue, same as yesterday, I think to myself as I stare out the wide window of my room. Of course, there are still clouds covering the sun, but the clouds are purely white, not gray as I am used to seeing in Forks. As I look at the blue sky filled with fluffy clouds that look soft enough to lay comfortably on, I can't help thinking about Phoenix. Phoenix was mostly always blue skies and bright sunshine.

I sigh wistfully, sadly. Thinking of Phoenix makes me think of my mom. How is she? How is she dealing with the 'death' of her only daughter? Poor Renee. She shouldn't have to go through that pain. I hope Phil is looking after her. Yes, it makes me a little bit happier to know that she isn't living alone. Or else who would remind her to pay the bills? To go grocery-shopping? To tell her for the billionth time that her favorite pair of heels are at the back of her closet, where they always are? And that, no, sky-diving, or whatever other ridiculous idea she has in mind, is too dangerous to even think about doing? I smile the tiniest bit. My mom will be alright. Phil is with her. He'll take care of her, look after her, love her enough for the both of us.

But, wait, what about Charlie, my dear old dad? My smile turns into a frown. He has no one. No one to cook his favorite foods for him, clean his clothes, or help him solve the Sunday crossword puzzle like I did all those times I visited him. But that's just it. I didn't exactly visit him that often. Charlie, unlike my mom, is used to living on his own. Still, he just lost his only daughter who he loves—_loved, _I correct myself with a heavy gulp. He must be miserable. Too miserable to look after himself? I wish I knew the answer to that question. I wish I knew how he's carrying along and what he's up to.

Hold on.

I can find out all that stuff. Charlie is only a couple of miles away. I can find him, see how he is doing. That's all. I'm not stupid enough to think I could actually talk to him, comfort him. No, I just have to deal with seeing him. That'll have to be enough.

But can I? Can I see him without trying to kill him? I look at the ground in disgust as I remember the deep, relentless desire I felt when I saw Charlie that day on First Beach. The urge I had to drink from my own father. The immense effort and will-power it took for me to turn away, to run away from my dad. But that was months ago—back when I was on my own, back when I was a new newborn, back when I hadn't drunk from anything, human, animal, or otherwise. It's different now. I hunted just last night with Emmett. I'm not hungry. In fact, the thought of drinking another deer right now sickens me. It would be like eating a hamburger after already eating three of them. No, I'm not hungry. I wouldn't eat _my dad._ But still, I can't take that risk. I sigh. I will not put my dad in danger. I guess I just have to figure out some other way to see him.

Wait a second.

I don't have to _see_ him to know how he is doing. I can just ask one of the Cullens for information. Forks is a small town. They must know something about Charlie. How did I not think of this before?

Nearly bouncing in excitement, I run out of my room and into Edward's room, which is right across from mine. I enter without knocking, but I'm proud to say that Edward and I are past that. We go into each other's rooms every day without knocking,

"Bella?" Edward asks from where he lies on his black couch, a book in hand.

"Hey, Edward," I greet hurriedly, walking up to him. He sits up and curiosity shines in his topaz eyes as he registers my excited expression.

"Yes?"

"How's Charlie?" I ask. "I mean, how is he dealing with you know…my d-death? I imagine it must have been tough to go through my funeral and everything, but he must be better by now," I say. "He _must_," I add fiercely.

Suddenly Edward looks hesitant and unsure. "Um well…uh…"

I furrow my eyebrows. Edward isn't one to be lost for words. "What is it, Edward? You can tell me," I prompt.

He sighs. "Okay, but you…you might want to sit down."

Immediately crestfallen, and scared that I was about to hear something terrible, I sit down next to him on the couch. He turns to face me and bites his pink lip. And, no, not even the sight of those very enticing lips can distract me now.

"Listen, Bella, um…actually, why don't you go ask Carlisle how Charlie is?" he suggests.

I purse my lips in thought, realizing that Carlisle would probably know more than Edward about Charlie, but I had just unconsciously came to Edward for help. "I could ask him, but why don't you just tell me since he's downstairs and we're here?"

Edward sighs reluctantly. "Okay, well, there…there hasn't exactly been a funeral for you."

I cock my head to one side. "What do you mean? Of course I've had a funeral. I mean, as far as everyone knows, I'm dead, right?"

"Yeah, about that…you haven't…you haven't exactly been declared dead."

My forehead wrinkles. "I'm confused. What do you mean I haven't been declared dead?"

"Just what I said," Edward says. "Bella, you have to remember that they haven't found your body. They discovered Phil's car pulled onto the side of the road a couple of miles from here a day after Charlie reported you missing. The car had a flat tire so it is assumed that you pulled onto the side of the road to check it out.

Now you've been missing for four months. Most police men would have already closed the case, declaring you dead and assuming that you were dragged off by some animal since there was a dense forest on either side of the road. But your dad is the head of your investigation case and he's not closing the case until he has proof that you're actually dead."

"But that's ridiculous. What? Does he think I was kidnapped?" I snort a little and smile at the ridiculous notion.

"That's exactly what he thinks," Edward says seriously. Needless to say, my smile immediately fades. "Charlie suspects that you got out of the car to check the tire and then someone grabbed you and is now holding you hostage."

"W-W-ha-?" I stutter incredulously. "And who exactly does he think wants to kidnap me? I-I have no enemies."

"Yes," Edward agrees, "but Charlie does. He's put people in jail, Bella."

"Is that a joke? He's police chief of _Forks_. The most he's done is put someone in the slammer for a couple weeks for attempted robbery at a grocery store. He has no enemies! And okay, fine, let's say that he does have some psycho that wants to get revenge on him by kidnapping me, which is _so_ preposterous I can't even tell you, but lets say that he does. So he's saying that this crazy person camped out in the woods knowing that I would get a flat tire and also knowing the _exact_ place where I would pull over? That makes no sense. But hey, let's say that this guy did know all of that. Heck maybe I didn't run over something that punctured my wheel. Maybe this guy poked a hole into the tire himself and then predicted the exact moment where I would notice that I had a flat and also predicted the exact place where I would pull over to investigate. Let's say that this guy is a genius and he successfully kidnapped me. If this guy is really going after me for revenge, then wouldn't he want my dad to know? Wouldn't he demand a ransom, force me to write some letter, send him some pictures of me gagged like they do in the movies?

I mean, if he wants revenge against Charlie, he would make sure Charlie knew that I was suffering and that he was the one causing me to suffer. But has my dad gotten any evidence? No. Don't you see? It's_ ridiculous_ to say that I was kidnapped. It was Christmas day, there were no houses around or cars, and I guarantee you, no human was in those woods. And okay, let's say there was someone out there, it still doesn't make sense for—"

"I know," Edward says gently, interrupting my hysterical rant. "I know it makes no sense, Bella, but your dad is desperate. He isn't thinking logically. He can't accept the fact that your dead so he's telling everybody that you were kidnapped. There are still fliers everywhere. He is working day in and day out to figure out where you are."

"Well, what about Renee? Surely she knows better?"

Edward sighs and shakes his head. "She's on board, too."

"B-b-but that's crazy. I-I…" I can't even find words.

"Put yourself in their shoes, Bella. They just lost their baby girl. They don't want you to be gone. They're desperate. I mean, come on. They're holding on to the hope that you've been _kidnapped_—if that's not desperate, I don't know what is. But at least then you'll be alive. They want you to be alive more than anything. They just can't accept the fact that you're dead."

"Well, they're going to have to. We have to tell him that I wasn't kidnapped," I say simply, shrugging. "We'll tell Charlie and then he can call Renee."

But instead of agreeing to get the car ready, Edward shakes his head. "We can't," he refutes hesitantly, yet firmly, not looking me in the eyes.

"And why not?" I demand. "We can't allow them to waste their life away looking for me when we both know they will never find me."

"What do want us to do?" Edward questions softly. "Go up to him and say 'hey, Charlie, Bella hasn't been kidnapped. Call up your ex-wife and tell her that her daughter is dead. Trust us, she's gone and you should just hold a funeral for her?'"

I open my mouth to protest, but then I change my mind, knowing there is no use. I'm not going to change his mind no matter what I say. "Okay, you're right. There's nothing we can do. He'll just have to figure it out on his own." I stand up from the couch. "I'll just go back to my room now. Sorry to have bothered you," I add mechanically.

"You didn't bothe—" Edward starts to say, but I'm already out the room.

oOo

So I did the only thing I could do. I silently jumped out of my window. If they aren't going to help me, I'll just have to take matters into my own hands.

I run into the woods, making sure to double back and go off in random directions so that they won't be able to find me quickly. After I've found a spot that is hidden under the shade of numerous trees, I sit down on the dirty ground.

I pull out my cell phone from my pocket and I smile ever so slightly as I remember the moment where the Cullens forced me to accept it. Sure, they'll thrust upon me clothes and fancy phones—things I don't particularly want and never asked for—but when I ask for a small favor of a drive into town, it's a flat out no. Well, hmph. I don't need them anyway, I try to tell myself, I can do this on my own. I flip the phone open and type in a number I remember clearly.

My plan?

Yeah…I don't exactly have one. I know I can't see Charlie because I'm still not 100% certain that I won't try to kill him, and since the Cullens won't help, I figure the only option left is to call him. Of course he won't recognize my voice, so maybe I can pose as a concerned citizen who is going to gently tell him that he should call off this mad search for a kidnapper that just does not exist.

But there is no answer. I sigh in frustration and am about to end the call to try again when his voice message comes on. By the end of the message, my face is a mask of horror. He, he sounded so…so _broken_. That's it, I decide right then and there. A simple call won't do. I have to see him. I _have_ to. I'm going to fix this.

"Bella!" Just then, Edward rushes into my view. He runs towards me and his face is one of anger mixed in with relief.

"Thank God! I thought you were going to go see Charlie or something equally stupid as that. You know, that was quite clever of you to back track so many times. It took a while for me to find you. But anyway, now that I've found you, we can go back home and talk about this calml—"

Acting purely on instinct, I jump up and run away from him. And that's the first time I hear his beautiful mouth say such an ugly word as he rushes after me. I hear him calling for me to come back, but I don't listen. It's a wild chase for about five minutes, but soon I think I lost him for I don't hear any footsteps running behind me anymore. I run for another five minutes—just in case—before stopping to a slow jog. I try to figure out where I am and which way is Charlie's house from here, but then I smell him.

I sigh in frustration and confusion. "How—?" I ask as he walks up from behind a tree. How did he catch up with me? I was way ahead of him.

He shrugs. "I know these woods better than you." Then he raises both of his hands, palms facing me as if telling me that he means no harm. "Let's go home, Bella. We can—"

I shake my head and turn around, ready to run off again, but—and I really didn't expect him to do this—he tackles me. He doesn't do it with all of his strength or with any intent to do any harm to me, but it is enough to bring us both to the ground.

I hiss angrily through my teeth, but Edward ignores me as he straddles me and restrains my arms above my head. "What the hell are you doing?" I growl, trying to fight him off.

He leans down and whispers right into my ear. "I_ promised_ you yesterday, Bella. I promised you that I would never let you harm a human, so I'm not just about to let you run into town and be part of a mass murder."

See, if I was thinking clearly, I would have found the fact that he was taking his promise so seriously incredibly sweet. If I was thinking clearly, I would have stopped thrashing and savor the feeling of him being so damn close to him—I mean, come on, he is sitting on me. Thank god, I'm a vampire or that fact would have hurt badly—but, fact of the matter is that I'm not thinking clearly. I'm borderline acting just plain irrational and impulsive. Okay, okay, not borderline. I _am _acting impulsively and irrationally. Like parents, like daughter, huh? We don't think logically when we are desperate.

"I'm not letting you go," Edward says firmly, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I realize that I'm still fighting his grip.

I bare my sharp teeth at him, angry, no, pissed. "I'm not going to kill anyone!" I growl.

"And how do you know?" he demands. "Listen, Bella, I understand what you're feeling—"

"What?" I hiss, anger burning like a bright flame at the pit of my stomach. I struggle more violently, trying to escape him, but his grip just tightens. "You don't understand, Edward! You have no idea what I'm going through because your dad is dead! Both your parents are!"

At these words, Edward briefly loosens his hold in shock. I take that moment and finally break free. I hurriedly stand up and look down at Edward who is now sitting on the ground. "They're dead. They died before you became a vampire. They are in heaven now, smiling proudly and happily as they look over their great son. But _my_ parents? They're still alive and they're _miserable_. For God's sake, they think I've been kidnapped! You don't understand how it feels to know that they're _agonizing_ over the fact that their daughter is gone when I'm right here and I can't do_ anything_ about it!" I say hysterically, my face pinched in sadness and anger.

I turn on my heel and am about to make another run for it, but once again, Edward stops me. He's annoying like that. This time he jumps up from the ground and pins me to the nearest tree. I thrash around, but he just leans his forehead against mine as he puts his arms against the tree on either side of my head, caging me in. And just like that, with his caring, concerned eyes probing into mine and his scent overpowering me, my anger disappears and in its place comes sadness and defeat.

"You're not going to let me go, are you?" I whisper in a cracked voice, looking into his deep eyes.

Edward's face contorts in pain. "Oh, Bella, I can't, sweetie. I would never forgive myself. Worse, _you _would never forgive _me_."

"You don't understand," I whimper, slumping against the tree and falling, falling to the hard, cold ground.

Edward crouches down next to me and puts an arm around my shoulder. And I know that this time he is not putting his arm there to restrain me, no, he's doing it to comfort me. For a few moments, we just lean against the tree until I bring my knees up to my chest, wrap my arms around them, and lean into Edward's warm side. Edward uses a hand to gently guide my head to rest against his chest as his other hand rubs soothing circles on the back of my shoulder.

"You don't understand, Edward," I repeat softly in a tortured voice. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Edward places a hand on my knee and slowly moves it against my skinny, dirty black jeans until it rests on top of my own hand. I take his offering and squeeze his hand with both of mine like it's my lifeline. He rests his head on top of mine and then nudges his head slightly against mine, silently asking me to continue. But my mouth seems to be dry and I can't figure out the words to explain.

"What wasn't supposed to happen?" he prompts when I don't speak. "What did you expect, sweetie? For Renee and Charlie to be sad for little bit, but then quickly move on and continue as if they didn't just lose a child?" he asks not unkindly, but softly and curiously.

"N-no, I-I knew they would be miserable for a long time. But, time heals everything, right? I thought my parents accepted my death, went to my funeral, and said their goodbyes to me. Five years from now, they would probably still to miss me, but not as much. They were supposed to move on eventually, but now they can't because they are holding onto the small hope that I'm still alive. They can't ever move on if they don't accept my death. Now, in five years, they won't be moving on, they'll be depressed, still wondering where the hell I am. _It wasn't supposed to be like this_." I shake my head furiously.

"I know, Bella," he says gently.

I continue to shake my head. "No you don't know. If you did, you would let me go fix this." I try to stand up, desperate once more. "Let me fix this, please. I need, I n-need…"

But Edward grabs one arm and pulls me back down. He shifts so that I'm once again leaning against the tree, but instead of being next to me, Edward sits in front of me so that we can face each other. But I immediately look away when I see the determined set of his jaw. I know that there's no way I'm going to get past him.

"I don't want to fight you, Bella," he says, "but I will if I have to. I'm not letting you go."

I don't reply, fixing my gaze anywhere else, setting my mouth to a scowl so he'll know that I'm annoyed with him and his stupid logic and his stupid reasoning and his _stupid _promise-keeping.

"Look at me," he urges, but I pointedly turn my face away in defiance.

I'm acting like a child, I know, but, come one, you know you felt this way before. You know, like when your parents say you can't go out to the movies or something because you have a test the next day, and you know that you shouldn't because they're right, but damn it if you still don't want to go see a movie. And this is worse because Edward is _not_ one of my parents—thank God for that or liking him would be very awkward—so he has no right to stop me from doing what I want to do.

He sighs. "I hate this. I hate you being angry at me."

"Then let me go," I suggest flatly.

"You know I can't—"

"Actually I don't know, Edward," I finally turn to look at him. "What I do know is that you have no right to order me around. You're not my dad, okay? No, my dad, my dad is a couple of miles away and he needs me and I can't be there for him because of you." I glare at him through narrowed eyes. I know I'm unfairly taking my anger at him, but I can't seem to stop talking. "You don't care, do you? That he's miserable? He's just a human, huh? Who cares about them?" I mock.

"What? Bella, _of course_ I care. He's your dad and for that reason alone I care a great deal about him, but there's nothing we can d—"

"Look Edward," I cut him off before he can finish his sentence, not wanting to hear it. Quickly, I decide that the best plan is to guilt him into agreeing. "I said that you don't understand what I'm feeling, but truth is, what I'm feeling compares nothing to how my parents are feeling. We both have no idea what they're going through. But can you imagine it? My dad, my _poor_ dad, he thinks that this is his entire fault, doesn't he? And my mom…she is so great, what did she do to deserve this?" I sigh. "What did _we_ do to deserve this?" I add in frustration.

Edward's face is pained. "Nothing, Bella. Nothing. Bad things just happen, and, sadly, sometimes those bad things happen to good people."

But why can't they happen to bad people? Bad people like…like…"It's his fault," I growl suddenly, my anger immediately and ferociously mounting again.

"Whose?" Edward asks, confused.

"The one who changed me. He did this. He did all of this. Or her. Whatever. I hate whoever did it. Now my dad and mom are burdened with the pain of losing a child. No, worse, they still think I'm alive. They think some psycho has me. They are probably tortured with thoughts of me being beaten or gagged or…or…" I swallow heavily, not able to continue. I bite my lip to keep a sob from coming out. "I need to see him, Edward. I _need _to," my voice cracks.

Edward sees that I'm about to try to escape again, and he cups my face gently in his hands and leans forward to rest his forehead against mine. "Hold on, crazy girl," he says softly. "This is your emotions talking, okay? You have every right to be feeling what you're feeling, but can you do something for me? Just for a moment, don't think with this," Edward moves one hand to place it over where my dead heart should be beating, "think instead with this." Now, he moves his hand to tap my forehead, "With your head. What would your dad do if he saw you right now?"

"He would be shocked," I admit reluctantly.

"Think more, love. Imagine you just showed up, looking like you do right now. How different do you look now in comparison to before?"

"Different. Completely different. I'm paler, I don't have brown eyes, I'm so much more prettier—more curves, and I have more defined muscles. Plus, he probably expects me to be emancipated and bruised and…" I shake my head, not wanting to continue that horrid train of thought. "I don't look human, do I, Edward? I look completely unnatural."

"You do," he agrees. "And I know you don't like hearing this, but you don't exactly act human, do you?"

I nod slowly, feeling defeat weighing on me like a hundred pound weight. "I guess I still can't control my speed and I still have trouble with touching, and we haven't even started fidgeting."

"Or bloodlust training," he adds. "So answer again, Bella. What would Charlie do if he saw you right now?"

"He would think he was going crazy, hallucinating. He'll practically have a heart-attack. I think he would be scared too." My eyes cloud with sadness. "My own dad would be afraid of me."

"Oh, Bella," Edward breathes. "I don't know what to say."

"Say that'll you'll let me go," I beg, pleading him with my sad, wide eyes.

Edward closes his eyes in response, his face portraying how much effort it took for him to refuse my request. "I can't, Bella. I know you love your parents and you want them to be happy, but you have to accept that there's nothing you can do."

_There's nothing you can do_.

With those words, I fall apart.

"Bella," he whispers my name in a plea as he reaches out and wraps his arms around me.

I bury my head into his neck and sob. I cry for my parents because they were so kind and loving to me and all I've given them in exchange is a bucketful or pain. I cry for all those kids who have actually been kidnapped. I cry for everyone who's ever lost a child, because, dammit, that just has to be the worst feeling in the world. And I cry over the fact that whenever _I _was in need or sad, my parents were there with comforting words and soothing touches, but when _they_ are in need of comfort and happiness, I can't freakin' do _anything._

Edward moves so that he's sitting cross-legged against the tree, and then he tenderly pulls me until I'm sitting sideways on his lap. He uses one hand to wrap around my shoulder and the other to run a comforting hand through my tangled hair. I wrap my arms around his neck and cling tightly to him as I bury my head into the nook of his neck and continue sobbing. They are gut-wrenching, dry sobs that cripple my body. He rests his head on top of mine and repeats over and over again 'I'm sorry's and 'I wish I could do something's. And I truly felt like I was going to cry forever—I never felt more useless and pathetic my whole life—but Edward moves a hand to coax my head to look up at him. I let out a little whimper as I see the sadness swimming in those beautiful eyes.

"Hey, beautiful, can you do something for me?" he asks gently. "Take a deep breath, please. Breathe for me, Bella."

I close my eyes and do as he says. And as soon as I breathe in his sweet scent, I feel myself calming down.

"That's it, sweetie." He pats my back comfortingly. "Try to relax."

"I'm sorry," I say, when I finally calm down enough to talk coherently.

"Oh, shush, silly girl," he says affectionately. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

I sniffle needlessly. "I'm so pathetic."

"Stop that," Edward scolds. "You are not."

He moves me on his lap and I move my legs so I'm sitting pretzel-style on his also pretzel-styled legs, both of us facing each other now. If he was human, this position would have been uncomfortable, but since he isn't, I could hang a two hundred pound weight around my neck and he wouldn't bat an eyelash.

I bite my bottom lip as the realization of what I just did bears down on me. "I just completely broke down on you…I can't believe I just cried."

"Hey," Edward cups my face with one hand, and uses a thumb to wipe away my tears.

And, no, vampires can't actually cry in the traditional way—we can't produce any real tears, but that doesn't stop Edward from running his thumb gently across my cheek as if there are real tears actually there. It is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done to me.

"You should be glad that you cried. It makes us feel less like vampires and more like humans, you know? It shows you have feelings and that you're not a cold, unfeeling monster like all those other vampires. Look at you. You're crying because you love your parents and you can't help them. You're beautiful." I can't help but smile at his kind words. "Ahh, that's better," he declares softly as he fingers my smile.

I shiver and my smile widens as I know that, yes, Edward can't literally wipe my tears, but figuratively? Those tears don't stand a chance. "How do you always know the words to say to make me feel better?" I ask in a whisper, staring deeply into his warm eyes, thinking that I could never feel sad again if he continues to look at me like that, like I'm precious.

Edward smiles crookedly at me and tucks a stray brown strand behind my ear, but doesn't answer. So we sit quietly together as I try to shift through my conflicting emotions.

"God, I want to know what you're thinking so badly," Edward murmurs after minutes of silence.

"I'm thinking that I need to go see my dad," I say hesitantly, swallowing heavily as I look to see his reaction.

He freezes before sighing. "I thought we went over this."

"I know, but hear me out, kay?" I ask and he nods slowly. "I get that he can't see me and that I can't talk to him. I get that, and I promise I won't try to. I know I can't do anything to help him or my mom. All I want is to see him. I need…I need to say g-g-goodbye. I _need_ to, Edward. And then I won't try to interfere with his life anymore, I promise."

"And your mom? Are you going to insist on seeing her, too?"

"No," I shake my head. "I already said my goodbyes to her. The day I left for Forks, I said goodbye to her and I told her that I loved her. I never got a chance to say that to Charlie. And even though he won't be able to hear or see me, I _have_ to tell him that I love him."

"Bella," Edward turns his gaze away from my pleading one. "I can't let you go out by yourself."

"But that's just it. I want you to come with me. I trust you. You won't let me hurt my dad, I know that. I just want to see him. Come on, Edward. I _trust_ you, _please _do this for me. Please," I repeat as I've noticed that his resolve shakes ever so slightly whenever I use that word. "Please, please, please, please, _please."_

Edward turns his gaze back to me and bites his lip. "Bella, it would be incredibly stupid for us to go into town."

My face falls at his words and I look down in defeat. But it doesn't stay down for long because Edward once again puts his warm fingers under my chin and coaxes me to look up. He smiles when we make eye-contact. "But we can be stupid _together_." He nods to himself. "As long as we are together, we'll be fine."

I let out an Alice-worthy squeal and wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Edward," I whisper into his ear sincerely. I think I feel him shiver, but that's probably my imagination running wild. I pull away and stand up, bouncing in excitement. I offer a hand to him and hurriedly help him up.

"Ready?" I ask.

He runs a hand through his bronze hair. "Let's hope we don't regret this," he mutters.

I open my mouth to respond, but someone beats me to the punch.

"You're so pessimistic, Edward," a cheery voice says.

Edward and I both turn around to see Alice standing a few feet away from us, a hand resting on a cocked hip.

"I was wondering when you were going to barge in, Alice," Edward says in greeting.

Alice grins. "Well, I had to let you guys have a moment, now didn't I? Now where do you guys think you're going?"

I winch as I realize that it totally slipped my mind that Alice could see into the future. "We uh we…um well…"

Alice laughs and Edward joins in. "Oh don't worry, silly," she says. "I'm not going to tell on you guys. I was just wondering why in the world you didn't invite me along."

I smile sheepishly. "Sorry, Alice, but yeah, we'll love for you to come along. But um where's the rest of the family?" I ask, suddenly worried that they would question where all three of us were.

Alice waves a hand dismissively. "Don't worry. Now, of course, everyone heard the conversation you and Edward had about what's up with Charlie. When you left, I got a vision of you sneaking out your window, and Edward was out the door, yelling your name before I could even think about saying 'wait' because I could see that you weren't planning on going to Forks. Of course, everyone was concerned, and Emmett and Jasper were about to run off in search of you, too, but _they_ actually waited and listened to me. I told them that you just wanted some time alone and that they should go on their hunting trip and that I'll get you and Edward and we'll catch up with them later.

So eventually I got everyone to leave and then I had a vision of you calling your dad. I wasn't concerned because I saw he wasn't going to answer, but then seconds later, I do see you decide to go to Forks. That's when I ran into the woods to try to stop you, but then I see Edward finding you and I know that he won't let you go and that I'm not needed. So I go back to the house. I stay there and periodically check your futures to make sure you haven't escaped or anything. And then, a few minutes ago, I saw Edward decide to go into town with you, and I knew that I'll have to go with you guys to make sure everything goes smoothly. So here I am."

"And everything looks good, Alice? We get in there and out okay, right?" Edward asks.

Alice nods. "Of course. I wouldn't let you guys go if I saw something going wrong."

"And the family?" I question. "Won't they be angry?"

"Oh yeah," Edward answers. "They'll be _pissed_."

"Especially Jasper and Carlisle," Alice adds. "And Emmett, though he'll be angry at the fact that he didn't get to go, too." I roll my eyes in agreement. He'll hate that he missed an adventure. "But, of course, they don't have to know," Alice says wickedly.

Edward nods and smiles. "Good idea."

"What?" I ask, used to this. Edward was always having private conversations with the rest of the Cullens via thoughts.

"She thinks that we should just tell them that we decided it'll be easier to just hunt by ourselves and that's why we didn't catch up with them," Edward explains.

"But that's lying," I say hesitantly.

Alice walks up and nudges my shoulder with her own. "Don't be a goody two-shoes. Unless…you want to tell them yourself?" She raises an eyebrow.

I widen my eyes, imagining their reaction. "Of course not."

"Good." She smiles. "Okay, so we all ready?"

Edward nods and then they both look at me for my answer.

I nod without hesitation.

I was ready to see my father.

* * *

**There you go. I hope you liked it! Sooo next chapter Bella sees Charlie. What do you think is going to happen? Review to get a sneak preview! And if I take too long to update, for those of you who haven't read it, you can read my other completed fic to pass the time. And I know I said this already, but thank you to all those who have reviewed, even if it was only once. We broke two hundred, which makes me so happy, you don't even know :D I'll update as soon as possible!**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Go vote! **

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	12. Operation: Help Daddy

**Hey! Here is chapter 12! A big thanks to those who reviewed—Nissa-Cullen, shouldbeworking, dolphindreaming, alicefan32, cullen-madness, Conan in love, Twilighter930, DizzyIzzyCullen, FelicityT, HurricaneBree, Tash 4 Twilight, Kristin04, LIZ911, et1141412, xxxbullettxxx, bookluva98, xxTeamAlicexx, NJ94, hopelessromaticgurl, aleki98, and simmy17. ****Enjoy!**

* * *

_On behalf of every man_  
_Looking out for every girl_  
_You are the god and the weight of her world_

Daughters—John Mayer

* * *

**Saturday, April 20th 2:30 P.M.**

"_Finally_," Edward and I exclaim simultaneously as Alice emerges from the house.

She defensively places her hands on her hips. "What? I have to look the part."

I laugh as I study her outfit. She's wearing black jeans, a black cashmere sweater, a black headband on her black hair, and black combat boots.

Edward shakes his head in disbelief as Alice walks gracefully toward us. "Yeah, good idea, you black pix. We'll sure blend in now, huh?" He rolls his eyes. "And is that black marker on your cheeks?"

Alice nods proudly. "Camouflage."

Edward raises an eyebrow. "You know the whole black get-up is only for one to blend in with the dark sky. It's the middle of the afternoon right now, Alice."

"Details," Alice replies dismissively

Edward opens his mouth to protest, but I shoot him a look. "Can we go now?" I ask pointedly.

Edward nods and opens the passenger side door of his pristine silver Volvo.

"Oh." Alice places a hand over her undead heart as she walks up to him. "Thanks Edward," she feigns shyness. "But…you really shouldn't hav—"

"Shut up, shortie," Edward smiles at his sister, "and get in the back. We both know that Bella is sitting in the front."

Alice pouts but then laughs. "I knew you'd say that, but I tried." She opens the door to the back seat and enters the car.

Edward looks at me, still off to the side, and grins crookedly. "Your carriage awaits, m'lady." He bows and holds the door wide open.

Amazing how he can make me smile so hugely in such a tense situation. "Thanks," I whisper as I duck into a car for the first time in over three months.

Edward closes the door and in a blink of an eye, he is sitting in the driver's seat, buckling in. He starts the ignition, but does not hit the gas. I stare questionably at him. He silently reaches over and at first I am pleasantly surprised at his forwardness as he takes my hand in his own, but then I frown as he moves his hand down so that it is ensnaring my wrist. I realize with a start that the hand was placed there to restrain me.

"Listen, Bella." Edward looks at me seriously, his previous playful mood forgotten. "_If_ we are really going to do this, then you have to promise me that you'll do whatever I say."

"Of course," I reply, bewildered by his sudden somber mood.

"I mean it," he stresses. "_Whatever_ I say. No matter what."

"Okay," I say, my tone a little annoyed. If he notices, he doesn't let on.

"Good." He leans back into his seat and presses his foot on the gas. "Now don't talk or even so much as breathe until I tell you so. Oh, and close your eyes, too."

I raise an indignant and irritated eyebrow, but follow his stupid, bossy instructions nonetheless.

For the next five minutes, Alice chatters in the backseat as we head into the town.

"…I still can't believe you sat on the ground in the new jeans I got you…"

I roll my burgundy eyes, which is pretty hard to do with my eyes closed. Alice is chatty, yes, but she never talks_ this_ much. Two minutes later, not able to take it anymore, I open my eyes. "Alice, can you—"

Edward suddenly hits the brake and the car screeches to a stop. Thankfully, there are no other cars on the road. He turns to me, his topaz eyes alight with…anger?

"I said _no_ talking, and I thought I told you to keep your eyes closed." he says in a firm voice.

I flash him an disgruntled and annoyed look. "You can't order me ar—"

Suddenly his hand slams against his thigh. "I swear I'm going to turn this car around," he growls but, noticing my hurt expression, sighs. "Can't you see that Alice and I know best? I told you not to talk or breathe because if we were in the middle of the town, you would have breathed in the scent of blood and who knows what would have happened next. And Alice is talking incessantly to keep you distracted so that you don't pay attention to human heartbeats, and your eyes have to be closed so that you don't see the humans."

"Oh…right." I say lamely, suddenly feeling stupid and naïve.

Edward's face softens. "I'm sorry I'm being so snappy. I just want to make sure you don't do anything you will regret later."

I nod to show that I understand and go back to closing my eyes and holding my breath. It's uncomfortable to say the least. Closing off my sense of sight and scent goes completely against my predatory instincts.

On the other hand, it does heighten my other senses, such as touch. Edward's hand is still around my wrist and I can't help but concentrate on his warm, soft touch that is sending pleasant tingles up and down my arm.

"Almost there," I hear him mumble.

I resist the urge to open my eyes so that I can see for myself and wait patiently until the car stops. A millisecond later, I frown as I feel Edward's hand leave my wrist, but he soon moves to open my door and his hand is back on my arm, this time helping me out of the car.

"Okay," he breathes into my ear. "Open your eyes now."

I do so eagerly and I'm greeted by the sight of a row of two-story houses across the street from us. I look around quickly and see my childhood home five houses to my right. I study it hard because something seems off. It's the same small, simple, two-story house that I vaguely remember, but now I realize that the plants on the front porch are dying, the grass of the front yard is slightly brown, the blue shutters of the house are cracked, and, wow, there seems to be a hole on the plaster next to the door that is the size of a fist.

I sigh sadly. This is my worse fear coming to life. Charlie obviously isn't taking care of himself. I don't even want to see the inside of the house.

"That's his car, right?" Edward asks, bringing my attention to the police cruiser parked in the driveway.

Remembering that I'm not allowed to talk, I nod.

"Good." Alice twirls to face me. "Now we want you to use your hearing. You hear Charlie's heartbeat and the other people in the neighborhood, right?"

I nod. There are five in total, which surprises me. I guess most humans are out and about, taking advantage of the fact that for once it's not raining. I can also hear them breathing in and out and hear the blood running through their veins. Against my will, venom flows into my mouth, but I try to discreetly swallow it before Alice and Edward notice.

"Get used to it, Bella," Alice encourages, not missing anything.

"And remember," Edward puts a restraining hand on my shoulder. "They all have families who would miss them." He looks at me seriously and I know that he knows that I feel a strong urge to hunt those five humans down.

"Don't breathe," Alice adds. "Because other than those five, Edward and I can smell all the human scents of this neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods, no matter how faded they are."

I nod again.

Alice smiles in approval at my obedient silence. "Okay, now hands in the middle," she commands, holding out her small, pale hand towards Edward and I.

Edward raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Come on," Alice urges. "You know what to do. We join hands in the middle, count to three, shout 'Go Team!' and then pull our hands apart."

Edward and I share a look, but, not being able to refuse sweet Alice, we comply.

"One, two, three," Alice chants as Edward mumbles along. "Go team!" Alice exclaims while Edward and I stay silent. Alice narrows her eyes at us so Edward lets out an indifferent 'Whoo!' and I do a semi-fist pump.

"Okay _now_ let's go." Edward holds my hand and Alice grabs my other.

We quietly walk across the street with our heads bent down. Edward's and Alice's tight, restraining grips make me feel like a dangerous, wild animal, which, I think with a mental sigh, has some truth to it. Soon, we are all crouching under the bushes in front of Charlie's yard.

"Okay, huddle," Alice says, moving to place her hands over our shoulders. I pretend to be annoyed along with Edward, but secretly I enjoy the feeling of Edward's arm around me and my own arm around him.

"No one saw us," Edward whispers, "and no one is looking out the window, either, so as long as we make no noise, no one should see us."

Alice nods and then takes in a deep breathe in order to smell the surrounding area. "Hmm." She cocks her head to the side. "Charlie is up there." Alice points to the window a story up.

I widen my eyes, about to tell them that that's my old room, when Alice and Edward both shoot me a warning look. I smile as I realize a new way to communicate with them. I look at the tree right next to the house whose branches touch my old bedroom window. I can climb it and see him. I picture myself gripping the hard bark and peering through the window. I consciously decide that this is the best way to see him. Alice sees the vision and Edward reads her thoughts.

"I'll go with you," Edward says immediately.

"No, I think I should. I'm lighter and we don't want the branch to give," Alice says reasonably.

"I'm going," he replies firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Alice rolls her eyes.

"Love you, too, sis," Edward grins and ruffles her black spikes, responding to her thoughts.

Slightly annoyed that they are having a private conversation with me standing an inch away, I clear my throat pointedly and make my way to the tree, but Edward grabs my arm before I can get too far. "Wait," he pauses, listening to everyone's thoughts. "Okay, everyone is busy. Coast is clear."

I nod and then we both leave a pouting Alice in the bushes as we tip-toe stealthy across the yard.

We hear Alice snort loudly from behind us. "Oh, _please. S_top being dramatic guys. There's absolutely no need to tip-toe. Just walk normally."

"Be quiet, black pix, and let us have our fun," Edward retorts, now taking exaggerated steps and humming the theme song of _Mission Impossible_.

Alice scoffs and I resist the urge to laugh.

"Okay," Edward says when we finally arrive at the tree. "This is our second time climbing a tree in the last twenty-four hours, huh?" I nod and smile. "Alright, so you go first, I'll follow. You see Charlie, say goodbye, and then we're outta here, got it?"

I salute him and he rolls his eyes. Smiling, I grip the bark and start to shuffle up the tree. Edward is right behind me and it only takes us a second to climb one story. Once we are in front of the window, I stand up on the branch that reaches directly towards the window. Stepping lightly, I start to walk across it.

"Careful," Edward whispers as he walks right behind me.

Once I'm mid-way between the tree and house, I sit down on the branch and Edward follows. I look into the room and see the familiar wooden floors, faded blue walls, single bed, bookshelves, desk, and ancient computer. I search for Charlie and finally spot him sitting across the room on my old rocking chair, his head pouring over a pile of tan files.

Charlie suddenly lifts his head, but looks off toward the distance, not looking through the window. I see his face and gasp. And that gasp is a very very bad idea because Charlie's and every human's scent in this neighborhood comes rushing into my lungs. Without thinking, I start to lunge. From the corner of my eye I see Edward jump also, not to stop me, but instead he is lunging_ with _me. But the sudden moments each of us take is too much for the branch we are sitting on, and it goes crashing down. Alice catches the branch quickly and smoothly as Edward and I plop down on either side of her.

"Great," Edward snarls as he stands up and wipes the dirt from his pants. "Don't catch me or Bella. No, catch the _branch_. Very nice. Thanks, Alice, really."

Alice places the branch on the ground before standing up tall and placing a hand on one hip in defiance. "Well, if that branch hit the ground, everyone would have heard it and then we really would have been in trouble. So yes, Edward, you're very welcome."

Edward closes his eyes and pinches his nose with his forefinger and thumb so hard that his knuckles turn white. When he opens his eyes seconds later, his eyes are a deep black. He stares at me and his face softens ever so slightly as he sees that I'm still on the ground.

"Are you okay?" he asks as he bends down to help me up.

I nod, and it's true. The sudden rush of all those scents, _human _scents, overwhelmed me and made me lose control for that spilt second, but now that I have closed off my breathing again, I'm better. Of course, the memory is still there and thus, my mouth is filled with venom, my throat is dry and aching, and every bone in my body twitches, wanting to attack, but I'm back in control of my body, and it takes some effort, but I can fight down all my urges.

"Okay, let's go back home, then," Alice says. "This adventure is over for now."

I nod in agreement. If I stay here a second longer, I don't know if I'll still be able to repress and control myself. As Alice grips both my arm and surprisingly Edward's arm too and drags us to his Volvo, I realize that the whole ordeal of climbing up the tree and falling down took no more than fifteen seconds.

We buckle in and Edward drives away.

"So _what the hell_ was that, Edward?" Alice asks as soon as we are on the road.

Edward clutches the steering wheel with a firm grip and breathes in deeply. "Bella's human scent was clinging everywhere, especially to that damn suitcase. It overwhelmed me, that's all."

I look at him incredulously. "You wanted to eat me?" I can't help but to blurt out.

He doesn't answer, doesn't even look at me, which is especially surprising since I broke his no talking rule.

"You must have smelt really good to make Edward lose control like that, Bella," Alice giggles. I smile slightly because it is sort of amusing…in a creepy way. "So when are we going again?"

Edward widens his still black eyes. "What?"

"Well, Bella still didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Charlie, right? I figure we can come back tomorrow, and—"

"Alice, are you crazy?" Edward demands. "You saw her. She almost killed her dad. If that branch hadn't fallen she would have burst through that window and Charlie would have seen her and everything would have been ruined. Uh uh, we are _not_ going back. _Absolutely _not."

Alice protests, but I don't hear a word of what she says. I'm still thinking about the sight of Charlie that had made me gasp in the first place. His sunken eyes, his skinny body, his unshaved beard, his uncut hair, the bags under his eyes, and his stained clothes. It was worse than I had imagined, which is truly saying something.

No, I refuse to just say goodbye and continue on with my life while he is clearly suffering horribly. I'm going to help him if it's the last thing I do. And I have an idea that just might work…with a little help from a certain someone.

Alice and Edward both groan as they see my decision flash through Alice's mind.

"We are so busted," Alice pouts.

Yes, we are going to have to tell the rest of the Cullens.

oOo

"You WHAT?" Jasper and Emmett boom as Carlisle's, Esme's, and Rose's jaws drop in shock.

"Yeah…" I say nervously, wringing my hands awkwardly. "We went to see Charlie."

"Start at the beginning," Carlisle says with strained calm as he joins his hands and leans forward.

"Well…" Edward and Alice take turns recounting the whole story while I stare at the cream carpet. Once we got to the house, all the Cullens were sitting in the living room, waiting for us. Silently, Alice, Edward, and I sat on the couch across from where everyone else was sitting. Then, I just blurted it out, no beating around the bush.

Now, after hearing the account of what happened, Jasper and Carlisle are pacing up and down the living room, their shoulders brushing as they pass each other in the middle. It is comical seeing them both run pale hands through their blond hair and mutter variations of 'what were you guys thinking' and 'how irresponsible.'

Jasper suddenly stops, sensing my slight amusement and seeing the tug of my lips. "Oh, you think this is funny, do you?" he snaps.

I widen my eyes. "N-no, of course not."

Jasper shakes his head at me. "This isn't a game. You put lives at risk," he says in disgust.

Alice immediately speaks up in my defense. "Now, Jazz, I wouldn't—"

"And I expected better from you, Alice," Jasper says simply, staring at his wife.

Everyone in the room raises their eyebrows in disbelief. I can't remember the last time Jasper addressed Alice by name. It's always darling, honey, or sweetie. And even when he does say her name, there is always some endearment attached to it. Never just _Alice_.

Alice shrinks back into her seat, a look of hurt on her face.

Angry, I narrow my eyes at Jasper. "This isn't her fault or Edward's. I made them come with me. Please don't punish them," I glance at Carlisle and Esme when I say this.

"You surely didn't force them, Bella," Carlisle replies reasonably. "They could have said no."

"And have me go into town by myself? Is that what you wanted? I was going to go see my dad no matter what. They had no choice but to come and make sure everything went smoothly."

Jasper snorts. "Yeah, it went incredibly smoothly."

I cross my arms over my chest. Alice pinches my arm in warning, but I ignore her. "You know what, Jasper? I think you're acting quite rude, to be honest."

He raises a disbelieving eyebrow. "Is that so?"

I nod matter-of-factly. He walks over to where I'm sitting, leans down, and places his hands on bent knees so that we are eye-to-eye. "Well,_ I_ think you acted_ quite_ selfishly."

I narrow my eyes at him. "How do you figure?"

"Well, first, you drag Alice and Edward along with you, and now they are in trouble. And then you carelessly put hundreds of people in danger by going into town just so you can see your dad. In fact, I do wonder what your dad would think, knowing that you put the town he works so hard to protect in such danger."

I hiss, "I didn't put anyone in danger."

"No? I know newborns, Bella. I know them extremely well. You were so close to bursting through the window and biting Charlie, and once you had that little taste for human blood?"

Jasper shakes his head. "You wouldn't be able to stop. You would want more. You would _need_ more. You wouldn't stop killing until there was nothing left. Newborns are uncontrollable when they are bloodthirsty. I don't know if Edward and Alice would have been able to stop you. You could have hurt Edward or…or…b-bitten Alice." He looks at Alice when he says this and she smiles at him.

Ah, so that explains his mood. An Alice in danger makes for a very, very cranky Jasper.

"It wasn't my intention to do any of that, truly," I say softly, addressing everyone. "I listened to what Alice and Edward said. I tried my best. I only lost control for that split second, and I'm sorry for that. But after that second I gained my control back. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I _never _want to hurt a human, especially not my dad. I was impulsive and _selfish_," I glance at Jasper, "but at the same time, I had to. I can't explain it, but I needed to see my dad. And…" I look at the ground. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell all of you, I'm sorry that I made Edward and Alice come with me—" Emmett clears his throat pointedly and I laugh and roll my eyes. "and yes, Emmett, I'm also sorry that I didn't invite you along." I bite my lip. "I really am sorry."

"As long as you understand what you did was irresponsible, honey," Esme says kindly and Carlisle nods in agreement, his gold eyes forgiving.

I purse my lips. "Yet, I don't exactly regret seeing Charlie," I admit cautiously. "I regret the way I went about it, but I don't regret actually going to him because if I hadn't seen him I would have never known how miserable he truly was. And I know I have no right to ask this after what I did, after I almost exposed our kind, but…I need your help, Carlisle."

"Me?" he asks, surprised.

I nod. "You're a doctor of a small town hospital. I'm sure since you've been in medicine for such a long time that you're really good at what you do, and I figure that you've gained a lot of respect from people here. I'm positive that if you just talk to Charlie and tell him that he should give up this wild search for me, he'll listen to you. He has to listen to reason and logic, and well, Carlisle, you're the most reasonable and logical person I know."

"Suck-up," Emmett coughs loudly. Rose elbows him in the ribs with a warning hiss.

For the first time in a long time, Carlisle looks unsure. "I don't know, Bella…I would love to help, but we don't usually converse with humans unless absolutely necessary."

"And this isn't absolutely necessary? This is my _dad_ we're talking about, Carlisle. I need him to be happy, you know? Plus, if you convince him to have a funeral for me, he can convince Renee, too. This if for both of them. I just…please. I'm…I'm _begging_ you." My voice cracks.

"Oh, Bella, sweetie…" Carlisle looks away.

I bite my lip. I had to get Carlisle to do this. Let's see, what would convince him to do it? Yes, that's it. If I can get Esme on my side, Carlisle would have to do it. I've seen the way he looks at her. He can't refuse her no matter how hard he tries to.

I pull out my cell phone from my pocket and quickly dial the phone number I dialed earlier. I put the phone on speaker and pray that he doesn't answer.

"Bella, who are you—" Esme starts to ask before his voice interrupts her.

"_Hello, you have reached the Swan residence. If this is you, Bella, sweetie, _please_ come back. Your mom and I miss you so, _so _much. If you're being held somewhere against your will, dial 911 immediately and I'll come save you, darling. I just need some clue," Charlie's voice comes through the phone, desperate and cracked. "Please tell me anything about your whereabouts and stay strong. And if this is the bastar—I mean, the _person _who has my daughter, please, please give her back. I'm begging you. I'll give you _anything_. My watch, my house, my wallet, all my saving, anything. Just don't hurt her anymore…" A deep, shuddering breath is heard. "Oh, and if this is anyone else, you can leave a message…I guess." _

And so was the voice message that convinced me to find my dad earlier today and so was the message that Esme needs to hear.

I close the phone and look right into her stricken eyes. "You know more than anyone the pain of losing a child, Esme."

Her gold eyes sadden deeply before darkening with determination. "We have to help him," she says with a firm nod.

Carlisle puts an arm around her and gives me a heated stare. I duck my head—I know it was a low blow to bring up her deceased baby.

"Sweetie, be reasonable—" Carlisle starts to say before Rose interrupts.

"Oh, shush, Carlisle. We need to help him," she says, flipping her long, blonde hair over one shoulder. "What?" she adds at the sight of everyone's surprised expressions. "I heard the message, too, and I'm not heartless." She crosses her arms over her chest defensively.

Carlisle looks around the room. Finding no one on his side, he sighs in defeat. "Fine, I'll go see him and try to talk some sense into him."

"Really?" I stare hopefully at him. He nods and gives me a small grin. I smile brightly and rush to him. He laughs as he catches me in his arms. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I hug him tightly.

"I'll go too," Edward speaks up. I pull away from Carlisle to look at him and grin. "Someone needs to be there to read his thoughts."

"Oh, thank you, Edward," I take a step to give him a grateful hug too, but then Jasper speaks.

"I'll go, too. Someone needs to make sure everyone is feeling calm."

I redirect my direction and go to Jasper who is standing near Alice. I hug him tightly.

"Sorry I was so hard to you earlier," he whispers against the top of my head.

I smile up at him. "No problem. I know you get worked up when Alice is involved."

He looks away almost shyly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I laugh. "Uh huh."

"Bella," He looks back at me, his eyes suddenly serious yet warm. "I just don't want you to do something you'd regret later. Promise me you won't go into town again without having some proper blood-lust training."

I bite my lip. I can't promise that. What if my dad needed me? "I promise…that next time I'll tell you I'm going before I actually go," I offer.

He nods and smiles in amusement. "I guess that's the best I can get outta you, sis." He ruffles my hair affectionately. "So we ready to go?" he asks, turning to Carlisle and Edward.

"Hey, I wanna go, too!" Emmett says excitedly. "Ooh, we can play bad cop, good cop. Okay, Edward and Carlisle can be all 'Poor Charlie, we're _so_ sorry for your loss' and Jasper and I can be all 'admit your daughter is a goner already, you crazy old man.'"

We blink at him. "He's not going," Alice, Jasper, Rose, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, and I say at the same time.

Emmett pouts. "Wait, I'm only kidding. I'll behave, I promise."

Carlisle shakes his head. "Regardless, it's better if you stay. There needs to be a man here to protect the ladies."

"Woooow, _excuse_ me," Rose raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Surely, Carlisle," Esme says, "you are not implying that us women are not capable of looking after ourselves."

"Yeah," Alice says, "It seemed like you were saying that women need a man to 'protect' them."

"Which is not only untrue," I add, "but also completely sexist."

By this time, Alice, Rose, Esme, and I have moved so that we form a half-circle around Carlisle.

"Which might have been the mindset _way _back in your century," Rose says.

"But it does not hold true in this century," Esme continues.

"And we are completely capable of fending for ourselves," Alice adds, standing tall.

"And we will be perfectly fine without a man here," I finish.

"I uh didn't mean anything by it, ladies," Carlisle looks nervous. "I was just sayi—"

"Leave it, Carlisle," Edward advices seriously.

"Yeah, you can't win against them," Jasper agrees.

Carlisle sighs. "I apologize, then, ladies, it was not my intention to offend you."

Alice nods, accepting this and already moving on. "'Kay, let's go then."

"_Let's?" _Jasper raises an eyebrow at his wife.

"Yup, I'm going. Someone needs to be able to look into the future."

"And," Rose smirks as she puts her hands on Alice's shoulders. "There needs to be a lady on the trip to look after our men."

Everyone laughs, even Carlisle.

"Okay, let's go, let's go," he says when we're done laughing.

"You know, Carlisle." Emmett leans against the wall, still upset about not being able to go. "I'm utterly disgusted. This is just another show of blatant favoritism, just like yesterday. Of course, you're only taking the people with the special powers. Not only am I incredibly hurt, but I am also extremely—"

"Not this again." Jasper rolls his honey gold eyes.

"Enough with the dramatics, Emmett," Edward adds. "You're not going for obvious reasons, Mister 'You-Old-Fool.'"

"The good cop, bad cop thing actually works, Edward, and you're just jealous that you didn't think of it first," Emmett counters.

Jasper nods. "It's true. He's really jealous. The waves are just pouring out of him."

Edward punches Jasper's shoulder in retaliation and Jasper punches back.

Esme shakes her head. "You boys better not act this way in front of Charlie. Remember, we want Bella's father to like us."

"No worries, Esme, we got this," Edward reassures, winking at me. I smile.

"Yeah, I'm a very likeable person, right, Alice, honey?" Jasper looks to Alice.

"Not as likeable as me," Edward answers instead.

"What? You? All you do is mope and brood around."

"Oh _please_, you should hear what the students think. You look like you're in pain…_all _the time."

Jasper snorts. "Whatever. I can charm the pants off anyone. I _am _the charismatic one."

"And I—"

"Okay." Alice rolls her eyes. "Stop arguing. I'm clearly the most likeable Cullen." She gives a little curtsy.

Emmett opens his mouth to protest, but Carlisle talks before he can. "No more arguing. We have to go."

"Wait!" Alice says. "I need to change!"

We all groan as we look at her all-black ensemble.

"This is going to be another twenty minutes," Emmett mumbles.

He's wrong. It takes thirty minutes for Alice to find the 'best outfit to impress Charlie with'. Soon afterwards, Carlisle, Jasper, Edward, and Alice are off to see my father and I sit by the window, anxious for their return.

* * *

**There you go! Next chapter I think will be half Charlie POV so we can see his conversation with the Cullens and then we'll go back to Bella POV, so REVIEW to get a sneak preview. I'll update soon. **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review :)**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	13. Thinking Rationally

**Hey Guys! Lucky Chapter 13 is up! As always, huge thanks to those who reviewed—dolphindreaming, Sweetie7smiled, Topazeye, sweeneyanne, Kristin04, aleki98, EdwardCulleniluu, Twilighter930, RosesFromDrew, dlajmc, BellaLaila87, Serlenia, fang luver454, alicefan32, twilightsaga96, Nissa-Cullen, Twilightaholic1122, Eternally Inquisitive, DizzyIzzyCullen, xxxbulletxxx, xxTeamAlicexx, Conan in love, LIZ911, hopelessromanticgurl, et1141412, MoreRandomThanYouWouldBelieve, NJ94, and ellaryne.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"_You can shed tears that she is gone,  
or you can smile because she has lived.  
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,  
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.  
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,  
or you can be full of the love you shared.  
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,  
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  
You can remember her only that she is gone,  
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.  
You can cry and close your mind,  
be empty and turn your back.  
Or you can do what she'd want:  
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."_

_-_Quote by David Harkins

* * *

**Saturday, April 20th 4:00 P.M.**

Charlie sighs as rubs his face with rough, dirty hands. He's exhausted and it takes a lot of effort to keep his eyelids open.

Standing up with a deep groan, Charlie walks toward his daughter's window—this being her bedroom. He glances outside and sees the darkening sky and gray storm clouds. He looks toward the ground and notices with some surprise a branch lying on his front yard. Glancing up, he sees that the tree in front of the window is missing a branch that used to reach over toward the window. Slightly confused as to when that happened, Charlie soon shrugs, not able to bring himself to care.

He hasn't cared about a lot of things these past months. He hasn't cared about his hygiene or his health. He hasn't cared about what people around town are whispering, hasn't cared about how they all think he's crazy. All he cares about is Bella.

He sighs again and his heart clenches in pain at the thought of her name. He rests his head against the cool glass of her window. She's out there, he thinks with certainty. She's out there and she's waiting for me to rescue her. Hold on, Bella, I'm coming, I promise you.

A movement later, what he sees from the corner of his eye pulls him out of his thoughts. Angling his head to get a better look, Charlie sees a black Mercedes coming down the road. Charlie furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Only one family in this small town has enough money to have one of those. The Cullens. But they live far off and he wonders what brings them here. His question is answered as he sees the car pull into his driveway.

Really curious now, Charlie makes his way down the stairs and to the front door. He opens it and sees Dr. Cullen with his hand raised in a fist as if about to knock. Behind him are three of his adopted kids.

Dr. Cullen slowly lowers his hand and smiles pleasantly. "Hello, Chief Swan."

"Dr. Cullen." Charlie nods in greeting, his voice husky and deep. Charlie clears his throat. He really hasn't talked that much these past months.

"We were just in the neighborhood and decided to drop in and see how you were doing," Dr. Cullen explains.

Charlie raises a disbelieving eyebrow at him, suspicious, but almost immediately the feeling disappears and is replaced with calm.

Dr. Cullen continues, "Can we come in?"

Baffled, Charlie is about to refuse, knowing his house is a mess, but what if they had some information on Bella? After a moment of hesitation, Charlie nods and opens the door wider so that the Cullens can squeeze in. Without saying anything, Charlie leads them into the living room. He's immediately embarrassed as he sees each of them widen their eyes as they look around. The living room is filled with empty pizza boxes, soda cans, dirty laundry, and undusted furniture.

"Uh sorry for the mess, I didn't know I was going to have company," Charlie explains feebly, his cheeks turning a slight pink. But soon he no longer feels embarrassed as a feeling of calm washes over him. Charlie feels lighter, better than he has in months, and he has a moment of confusion, but again, a calming feeling envelops him.

Dr. Cullen holds up a hand, waving away Charlie's explanation. "Think nothing of it, Chief Swan. I assure you, if it wasn't for my dear Esme, my house would look exactly the same," he chuckles. "Now come on, kids, let's sit. If," Dr. Cullen glances at Charlie, "that's okay with you?"

Charlie nods. "Oh yeah, have a seat, please."

Charlie sees the shortest Cullen, the only girl here, bend down and start to move the newspapers off of the couch and then she brushes one of the cushions with a pale hand. The red-headed Cullen shoves her lightly and the girl raises her eyebrow as if saying, 'What's your problem?'

"I just got these jeans, I can't dirty them," Charlie hears her hiss.

The red-headed Cullen shakes his head in disbelief and moves to sit on the next cushion. He grabs the girl by the arm and pulls her down onto the couch. The girl huffs in annoyance before readjusting herself so that she is more comfortable. The two blond Cullens move to sit next to them as Charlie eases himself into his favorite recliner chair.

"Well," Dr. Cullen begins, "you know who we are, I presume?"

Charlie nods. Everyone in this small town knows the Cullens. They moved here about two years ago, claiming that the mother of the kids has always wanted to live in a small town. Charlie hasn't really gotten to know any of the kids, which, of course, is a good thing because that means they have never gotten into trouble. Charlie has never pulled one over for speeding, or caught them drinking, or anything else criminal-like. Charlie has also rarely seen the mother of the kids/the wife of Dr. Cullen.

The family obviously keeps to themselves and don't come into town that much unless it's for school or work. Likewise, even though Dr. Cullen is Charlie's doctor, Charlie has only seen him twice, and each of the times was only for a routine check-up at the hospital.

Of course, Charlie has heard of all the amazing things Carlisle has done, such as earlier this year when he practically brought Tyler Crowley back to life after he was in a car crash. All in all, all of what Dr. Cullen has done for this community has earned Charlie's respect and admiration.

"Of course," Charlie answers Dr. Cullen's question, "but, remind me of your exact names again, will you?" he addresses his question to the three teenagers.

The girl smiles sweetly. "I'm Alice," she says in a high-pitched, bell-like voice.

"Jasper," the blond-haired teenager with crescent-shaped scars on his arms and face nods briefly.

"I'm Edward," the red-headed one introduces himself in a slightly hard tone.

"Don't mind, Edward," Dr. Cullen says apologetically, giving his son a look.

"Yeah," Alice grins. "He's still sulking because he didn't get to drive here."

"You know how it is with kids these days." Carlisle smiles and rolls his eyes.

It feels as if Carlisle had punched him in the stomach. "No," Charlie says in a miserable tone. "I don't know about kids these days." Charlie suddenly feels the urge to feel happy, but even the strength of this urge is not enough to take away the deep pain that comes when thinking of Bella and how he no longer has any kids with him.

"Oh, dear." Dr. Cullen widens his strange gold eyes as he realizes the mistake he made. "I'm sorry, Chief Swan. That was so careless and inconsiderate of me and I shouldn't have—"

"It's fine, Dr. Cullen. Oh, and call me Charlie." Charlie says, trying to feel upbeat, but he can't help but feel a surge of jealousy and a little anger towards the man because he, unlike Charlie, still had kids. He, unlike Charlie, didn't know the pain of losing a child. No, Charlie corrects himself, not losing. Bella's not lost, she's not d-dead. She's still out there. She has to be.

"Then I insist that you call me Carlisle," Dr. Cullen offers, smiling amiably.

Charlie wrinkles his nose. _Carlisle? _What a weird name. In fact, all these Cullens are weird. They are all so pale and have purple bruises under their eyes. Not to mention their strange gold eyes. Yet, they could have information on Bella, so Charlie brushes aside their abnormal looks and gets back to business.

"Okay, Dr—I mean, Carlisle, let me ask you a question. What really brings you guys here?"

Carlisle raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"'Just in the neighborhood?'" Charlie quotes. "Come on, Carlisle, that's the oldest one in the book."

"No, really," Carlisle presses, "that's really what occured. I've actually been meaning to talk to you for a while now, but I've never had the chance or the time. Anyway, we were driving down the road on our way to the grocery store to pick up some things that my wife needs when I saw your police cruiser and decided to just drop in and see how you were doing."

Charlie purses his lips, still not buying Carlisle's story. He is a police officer, after all. He knows when someone is telling the truth and when they are just making up a really good cover story. And plus, there is the fact that this road does not lead to any grocery store. But his suspicion and confusion disappears quickly and Charlie is left feeling silly for having any doubts and not trusting the kind man in the first place.

"Well, I'm doing fine," Charlie says, almost defensively.

Charlie notices how Alice looks him over and Charlie's cheeks turn pink again as he realizes what he must look like. Admittedly, Charlie hasn't showered or changed his clothes or shaved or slept in a couple of days.

"Are you sure, Charlie?" Carlisle questions softly. "We heard about Bella."

Charlie gasps. Everyone in this town has been careful not to say her name in front of him. Not since the first time someone asked him about Bella and he broke down in a very public place. But here Carlisle just throws it out there unexpectantly.

Charlie feels a rush of pain as the sound of her name brings back memories of her huge smile, her caring, deep eyes, her rosy blush, and her quiet and thoughtful manner. God, he misses her.

"D-do you know where she is?" Charlie croaks out, looking at Carlisle with such hope burning in his lifeless eyes.

Carlisle blinks rapidly. "Do I know where Bella is? Uh…of course not, not at all."

Charlie narrows his eyes. Carlisle is good, but not good enough to fool Charlie. He knows a lie when he hears one. But again, the suspicion soon wears off and Charlie is left feeling calm.

"How's the investigation going?" Alice asks gently, changing the subject smoothly.

"Fine, completely fine," Charlie lies.

In truth, it's going terribly. Charlie has hit dead end after dead end. He's been poring over the same files over and over again, hoping he's missed a clue or some type of hint, but nothing's fitting. Charlie has never felt more useless and miserable in his long life.

"Do you ever think that maybe," Carlisle hesitates, "maybe you should call off the investigation?"

Charlie closes his eyes. Here we go again. This is the _real_ reason Carlisle came over. A least one person has told him every day that he should stop the investigation, that he should just give up. But they don't know what it feels like. They don't know how it feels to know that your daughter might be dead because of you, because she was driving over here to see you because you had begged her to come visit.

They don't know anything.

Charlie opens his eyes, feeling angry, though the anger does lessen slightly for some reason. "And why would I do that?"

Carlisle bites his lip. "Well," he says slowly. "I just think that it's extremely unlikely that Bella is being held somewhere."

More anger. More resentment. More sadness. "Oh? And you're the police officer now, huh?" Charlie says in a cold, sarcastic voice.

"No, but I am a doctor. _Your_ doctor, actually. And therefore I have your health in mind. I hate to see how you're depriving yourself of sleep and proper nutrients. It's not healthy, Charlie, and I want to help you see that. I want to help you accept that your daughter is most likely de—"

"Don't say it," Charlie growls dangerously.

Carlisle holds his hands up. "Okay, I won't say it, but that doesn't change the fact that we both know what really happened to Bella."

"Which is what?" Charlie demands.

"An animal caugh—"

"Don't." Charlie shakes his head. "Please, don't," he begs, the image too painful for him to bear.

"It's what happened, Charlie," Alice says softly. "I hate to say it, but it is. She's gon—"

"No! She's not gone, she can't be!" Charlie says in a raised, desperate voice.

"Think about it, Charlie," Edward urges. "How could she have possibly been kidnapped? It was Christmas, and there were no houses for miles. Bella was the only one on that road with only woods surrounding her. There were simply no humans around to kidnap her."

"We don't know that. There could have been someone hiding in the woods," Charlie answers quickly, having had this argument thousands of times.

"Why? Why would someone be in the woods? How could they have possibly known that Bella would have pulled onto the side of that road?" Carlisle questions.

Charlie shrugs. "The guy was at the right place at the right time. He was in the woods, saw headlights, saw Bella get out of the car, and then took advantage of the opportunity."

"He was randomly in the woods? In freezing weather, with snow falling rapidly, the sky dark, on Christmas," Carlisle says dubiously.

Charlie nods matter-of-factly. "Yup, then he took her."

Suddenly, Edward starts shaking his head rapidly, staring at Carlisle. Charlie furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but Alice speaks up before he can ask what's going on.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," she says, "but the possibility of that actually being true is less than one in a million. It's just not plausible. I mean, if we go off what you say, then they'll have look at any person who has been declared dead with no body found and open it, saying that well, it might be possible that they're not dead, they were just kidnapped by some random person. "

"And we both know," Edward says, "that if this was not Bella 'missing', you would have closed this case weeks ago."

"Plus," Jasper adds, "you know Bella, Charlie. She's tough, she's strong, she's smart, she's a survivor. If someone grabbed her, she would have escaped by now, no doubt about it. Or at the very least she would have figured out a way to contact someone."

This is true, Charlie reluctantly agrees, yet Charlie wonders how Jasper seems to know so much about Bella. But his confusion evaporates and calm washes over him.

"What's better, Charlie?" Carlisle questions seriously. "To think that Bella is being held somewhere by some crazy person and spending the rest of your life imagining what she's going through, never knowing where she is or what she's thinking? Don't you want to know that, yes, she is dead but that now she is in a place where she feels no pain, where she no longer has to live in this world full of evil and cruelty? She is in a better place, Charlie."

"Think about it," Alice urges. "Think about what Bella would be thinking if she saw you right now."

Charlie widens his eyes. He has never thought about how Bella would react if she knew what he was putting himself through. She would be appalled, Charlie decides.

"She would have wanted you to be happy," Alice continues, her eyes twinkling with certainty. "She loved you, Charlie."

Charlie shakes his head mournfully. "Did she, though?" he questions.

"What?" Alice asks, confused.

"Love me, I mean. I can't help thinking that I wasn't a very good father. Maybe I should have called more or listened more or told her I loved her more…" Charlie trails off, his eyes tearing up.

"Of course she loves, I mean, _loved _you, Charlie," Carlisle assures. "She loved you. Don't doubt that."

Charlie nods slowly. "She was going to move in, you know? That's what Renee told me. She said that Bella was going to tell me once she got here that she wanted to finish her last years of high school in Forks…with me." And now that would never happen. More tears run down his face and he turns away from the Cullens, ashamed.

"See?" Alice says. "That just proves she loved you. She wanted to live with you, Charlie."

Charlie nods again, though it is more forced this time. He just doesn't want to think about this anymore. He feels exhausted and defeated and oh so tired.

"Well, listen, it's getting late," he says awkwardly.

"Oh," Carlisle looks disappointed. "Of course, we won't overstay our welcome. Let's go, kids."

Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Carlisle stand up and head to the door with Charlie leading them. Charlie wearily opens the door.

"Thanks for coming," he says, holding out a hand to shake.

Carlisle hesitates briefly before grasping his hand. Charlie widens his eyes at how cold Carlisle's hand is. "Charlie," Carlisle regards him seriously. "You asked before why I came here. Well, truth is, I came here as a father. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through and I just wanted to offer my condolences and support. Please consider what was said today as I truly believe that Bella is no longer with us and I feel the quicker you accept that, the better off you'll be in the long run."

Charlie nods, too choked up to respond. Next, he shakes Jasper's hand and almost immediately Charlie feels a lot better for no reason.

"Hang in there, Chief Swan," Jasper says softly in a Southern drawl.

Again, Charlie nods and this time manages a forced smile.

Edward's hand is just as freezing cold to the touch as Jasper's and Carlisle's were. "I'm truly sorry for what you are going through, Chief Swan, and believe me, the world is a worse place without Bella in it."

A tear runs down Charlie's face as he lets go of Edward's hand. He reaches a hand up to wipe his tear away, but before he can, Alice has her hands wrapped tightly around him, burying her small head into Charlie's neck.

"Alice—" Carlisle starts to warn, but stops when Charlie slowly puts his arms around her. He doesn't know why, but he feels a surge of affection for this girl, despite her hard, cold body.

"I think Bella would have liked you," he whispers softly.

Alice lets out a hiccup that sounds like a restrained sob. "Oh Charlie, I know I would have loved her. Who wouldn't?" She pulls back and firmly places her hands on Charlie's shoulders. "Listen, Charlie, Bella's happy where she is, okay? We have to believe that. She's happy and she's looking over you. She's doing everything she can to take care of you because she wants you to be happy, Charlie. She doesn't want this."

It was a comforting thought—Bella in heaven, looking over him like a guardian angel. And the way Alice is looking at him, her eyes burning with wisdom beyond her years, her face desperate for him to listen to her words, Charlie wants to believe her so badly.

"Be happy, Charlie. Be happy and move on because you know she can never be truly happy unless you are. Do this for her."

Charlie nods silently. He pats Alice on the back in silent thanks. She smiles. And with a final wave from both parties, the Cullens are gone.

**Bella POV**

I widen my eyes when I finally hear a distant car engine. Concentrating on my hearing, I jump up as I realize that a car is coming up the driveway. Rose, Esme, and Emmett hear it too, and in a blink of an eye, we are standing on the front porch. It seems like hours go by before the car finally reaches a stop. I wait impatiently as Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, and Alice pile out of Carlisle's Mercedes. Immediately, Esme goes to hug Carlisle and Rose and Emmett both go to Edward and Alice, asking them question after question, so I turn to Jasper, desperate for some information as to what transpired.

I gasp when his eyes meet mine. His eyes are incredibly dull and lifeless and his face seems paler than usual and drained of energy.

"Oh, Jasper, what happened?" I demand worriedly as I place my arms on his shoulders and study his face with deep concern.

"His emotions," is all he says in an exhausted voice.

I understand immediately. Charlie's emotions must have taken a toll on him. Guilt claws at me. This is my entire my fault.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper groans. "I can't deal with negative emotions right now."

"Sorry," I say sheepishly. "What can I do to help?"

He smiles slightly and opens up his arms in invitation. I immediately step into his embrace. As we hug I concentrate on feeling happy emptions. Surprising, it isn't so hard. I just think about how lucky I am to have the Cullens. How I love them so for doing this for me. How I'm so happy to have befriended them and become part of their loving family.

Soon, Rose hugs Jasper from behind and Jasper lets out a groan of relief. Alice then hugs one side, Esme the other.

"Group hug!" Emmett yells joyfully and he, Carlisle, and Edward join us.

So we Cullens hug each other tightly on the front porch, a perfectly touching and intimate moment.

"Thanks," Jasper says gratefully after a few minutes. "I'm feeling a lot better."

Slowly we all pull out of the hug, and I'm glad to see Jasper's eyes are back to being bright and warm.

"Okay," Carlisle says, clapping his hands together. "We should all head inside. I'm sure everyone wants to know what happened."

oOo

"So?" I ask anxiously as we all sit down on the living room couches. "What happened? What did you guys say?"

"Well," Alice starts, "Carlisle did most of the talking."

"Yeah," Edward agrees, "mostly Carlisle decided to say something, Alice got a vision of it, I saw the vision, and then I would either shake my head or nod to tell Carlisle whether he should say it or not."

Alice grins slightly. "The only time Charlie seemed to notice the head shaking was when I had a vision of Carlisle taking Charlie's shoulders into his hands and literally trying to shake some sense into him. Edward, of course, was desperately shaking his head no."

"It was just a passing thought," Carlisle says defensively.

"It was really hard," Alice continues as if Carlisle hadn't spoken. "Most of the things Carlisle wanted to say led to visions of Charlie either getting really defensive and asking us to leave or him breaking down sobbing."

I widen my eyes in distress. "Sobbing?"

Jasper nods. "His emotions were all over the place, Bella. The only time I've felt someone feel that miserable was the first day we met you. I tried my best to control the emotions around the room, but it was difficult. I sent calm wave after calm wave towards him, but it didn't really lessen the hurt he was feeling. I mean, it was easy to manipulate him so that he wasn't feeling confused, embarrassed, suspicious, or angry, but try as I might, I couldn't get rid of his misery or sadness."

Carlisle nods. "He was pretty bent out of shape," he agrees. "Edward, what were his thoughts like?"

Edward frowns. "I don't really know. It was hard to read him. I mean, I could get a general idea of what he was thinking, but it was fuzzy and slower than usual. There was nothing concrete. All I could tell was that he was really distraught."

I sigh sadly. My poor daddy.

"It's crazy," Jasper adds, "what he's putting himself through."

"But did you guys do it?" Rose asks.

"Yeah, did he listen to you? Is he going to have a funeral for her?" Esme leans forward intently.

Hope fills me quickly and I eagerly await their answer. But one look at Alice's and Jasper's heads dropping, Edward frowning sadly, and Carlisle shaking his head makes all that bright hope disappear as quickly as it came. My shoulders sag and I bite my lip hard in an effort to keep a sob from coming out. Esme, who is sitting next to me, puts a hand around my shoulder and I lean into her warm embrace.

"What do we do now?" I ask in a small voice.

"We keep trying," Carlisle says firmly. I lift my head up in surprise.

"Exactly," Rose agrees.

"Esme and I can go back tomorrow and clean up his house for him," Alice offers.

Esme nods. "Yup, and I'll cook him up a delicious meal...or I'll buy him a delicious meal seeing as I can't cook."

"And I'll go with them and send Charlie some calming waves," Jasper adds resolutely.

And just like that, my defeated feelings evaporate and I'm filled with awe, gratitude, and an overwhelming sense of love as I look around the room in appreciation. "Why are you guys doing this?" I can't help but ask.

"Because," Emmett smiles, "Charlie is part of your family," he explains simply.

"And you're part of this family," Alice adds.

"Which means Charlie is also part of this family," Edward continues.

"And we Cullens look after our family and help each other through thick and thin," Carlisle finishes, kissing Esme on the forehead.

"For forever and ever," Rose and Jasper both say.

Charlie has spent the last five hours in deep thought. Well, okay, he slept three of those hours, but believe me, there has been some serious contemplation going on these past two hours. Truth is, try as he might, Charlie could not get the Cullens' words out of his head.

_You know how it is with kids these days._

_How's the investigation going?_

_I just think that it's extremely unlikely that Bella is being held somewhere._

_It's not healthy._

_Your daughter is most likely dead._

_We both know what really happened to Bella._

_She's gone. _

_If this was not Bella 'missing', you would have closed this case weeks ago._

_You know Bella._

_She is in a better place._

_She is dead._

_Think about what Bella would be thinking if she saw you right now._

_She would have wanted you to be happy._

_She loved you._

_She wanted to live with you._

_She's happy and she's looking over you._

_Be happy and move on. Do this for her._

_You know how it is with kids these days._

_You know how it is with kids these days._

_It's not healthy._

_It's not healthy._

_She's gone._

_She's gone._

_She loved you._

_She loved you._

_Be happy._

_Be happy._

Everything they said swirls around Charlie's head, some begging more attention than others. Like '_be happy'_. As if it was that easy! Charlie doesn't know if he'll ever be happy again, what with his daughter, one of the only bright spots in his life, being gone.

But what was is that Alice said? _Think about what Bella would be thinking if she saw you right now._

Charlie has never thought of that. What would Bella do? She was—_is_, Charlie corrects himself—so selfless. She wouldn't want him suffering, that much is certain. She would have wanted him to be happy, too, like always. Whenever she called him, she spent at least half of the phone call harassing Charlie as to when he was going to start dating again. She said she couldn't bear the thought of him all alone in Forks with no one to look after him. Oh, Bella, Charlie thought, didn't you know that I didn't need another woman to make me happy? I just needed you, but now you're gone, and what am I to do?

Charlie shakes his head miserably. And what about you, Bella? he asks silently. You never got to date, and now I will never get to glare at your date or threaten and intimidate a boyfriend. I never got to sit on my couch with a gun in my hand as you introduced me to some hoodlum you were seeing.

No man will ever ask me for your beautiful hand in marriage. I will never walk you down the aisle, lift up your veil, and hear you say 'I do' to a man, who is, despite what you would say, not good enough for you because truth is, no man would have ever been good enough for my baby girl.

And I would never see you graduate high school or go off to college or find a job you're passionate about or start a family. Charlie sniffles and bites his lip. He would never get to hold his grandchild in his arms. He would never get to see his daughter grow old. He would never see his daughter again period.

Charlie shakes his head again. These thoughts are too depressing so he turns his attention back to the question at hand. What would Bella think if she saw him right now?

Yes, Bella wouldn't think too highly of Charlie now, but she would understand, right? Love makes you do crazy things. Bella was willing to move all the way to Forks, a town she hated, just to live with him. And now Charlie was clinging to the minuscule chance that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't dead.

And yes, Charlie does admit and accept that it is a minuscule probability, but hey, anything could happen, right? Right? _Right?_

Yes, anything is possible, and with that thought in mind, Charlie reaches for the case folders again.

oOo

Alice sighs in frustration.

"What is it?" Bella asks urgently. Periodically over the last five hours, Alice has been checking in on what Charlie was up to.

"I had another vision," she says, rubbing her temple with her forefingers.

"And?" Esme questions.

Alice sighs again. "He's looking through those damn folders again."

Bella whimpers slightly and Jasper and Edward immediately put their arms around her.

"Don't worry, Bella," Emmett assures. "He'll come around soon enough."

oOo

But as Charlie rifles through the papers he's been through a thousand times before, he can't get those Cullens' words out of his mind. _If this was not Bella 'missing', you would have closed this case weeks ago._

It was true, Charlie couldn't deny it. Logically, all the evidence led to the conclusion that Bella was dragged off by some animal. The Cullens were right. It's not likely at all that Bella was kidnapped. Charlie knows all of this. Despite what people think, Charlie does know that Bella is most likely dead. In his heart of hearts, he knows Bella is gone forever because Charlie is a rational guy and rationally the probability of Bella still being alive is close to zero.

But again, Charlie is not thinking rationally. He's a desperate father who refuses to think rationally because thinking rationally will only lead to Charlie feeling miserable. Charlie cannot bear to close this case. Closing this case would mean that his only small hope of having Bella turn up alive was gone. Closing this case would mean that Bella was really dead. Closing this case would mean that he would never see Bella again. Closing this case would mean that Charlie's life is essentially empty.

But, Charlie suddenly realizes, he has to think of people other than himself. Like Renee. He has dragged Renee into this false hope that Bella might still be alive. That isn't fair. Now Renee is just as miserable as he is, thinking about all the things Bella is going through at the hands of a psycho. And it isn't fair to Bella who would have only wanted her parents to be happy.

Charlie thinks deeply about this.

For the first time in a long time, Charlie is going to think rationally about this. For his own sake, he is going to think rationally. For Renee's sake, he is going to think rationally. And for Bella's, his dear daughter's sake, he is going to think rationally.

Bella, Charlie swallows heavily, is dead. Charlie's face contorts in pain. But yes, logically this is true. Bella is dead, Charlie repeats in his head. Each word is like a punch to his stomach.

"Bella is d-d-d-" Charlie stutters and then sighs before trying again. "Bells, my b-baby girl, is d-d-dead," Charlie whispers in a broken voice, but when he says it, it's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder.

oOo

Alice gasps.

"What?" this time it's Jasper who asks.

"You're dead," Alice says, wide-eyed and staring at Bella.

"Huh?" Bella asks, confused, but Alice waves her off.

"Shh," she says. "I need to concentrate." And then she is lost in another vision.

oOo

"Bella's dead!" Charlie cries, his voice loud and hysterical. "Bella is dead!" Charlie cannot help feeling light, lighter and calmer then he has in weeks. He's not happy, dear god, no. But he's feeling better.

He doesn't have to wonder if he'll ever see his daughter again or have nightmares of what her kidnapper is doing to her. He doesn't have to pore over her files, looking for a clue that is not there. It hurts to think that Bella is not here with him, but it's better than thinking that she's with some maniac.

She's in a better place, Charlie thinks. He has to believe that because that's the only way he won't sink into misery, never to rise again. Not to say that Charlie is not miserable anymore. Oh, he is definitely sinking in misery, but he knows, one day, he will rise again. He will miss her every day for the rest of his life and he'll never get over the pain of losing her, but that option is so much better than living the rest of his life wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she was completely miserable, or on the edge of death.

She's dead, she's dead, she's dead, Charlie keeps repeating, tears flowing down his cheeks. She's dead and she's not coming back. He buries his head in his hands as he starts to sob. But this is what she would have wanted, right? Bella wants him to be happy, and Charlie is going to try his hardest to rebuild his life.

You may be gone, Bella, but I'll never stop loving you, Charlie promises.

I'll never stop missing her and that is why he'll never be fully happy again, but he'll do his best to try. He'll be content knowing that his daughter is in a better place. Yes, it was just as Carlisle said. She's in a place where there is no pain and where she is not living in this troubled world.

Eventually, Charlie collects himself. He has business to attend to. He reaches for the phone.

oOo

"Yes!" Alice exclaims.

"What?" Everyone demands except for Edward who saw the vision in Alice's head.

oOo

Next to accepting Bella's death, this is the hardest thing I ever had to do, Charlie thinks as he slowly and with a lot of effort dials a number he knows by heart.

oOo

"Oh tell us!" Rose commands, seeing the disbelieving look Alice and Edward share.

oOo

Charlie waits with a bated breath as he waits for her to pick up.

"Hello?" her voice comes through.

oOo

"He's calling Renee," Alice explains.

"Meaning?" Bella asks, hope filling her.

oOo

"Renee…" Charlie greets nervously, his voice throaty from all the crying he's done.

"Charlie? What is it? Is it Bella? Did you find something?" Renee asks, hope filling her.

oOo

"Meaning," Edward says happily, "that your dad has accepted your death and now he is calling Renee to tell her…"

oOo

"Renee, sweetie, our Bella…" Charlie sniffles and wipes his eyes with his dirty sleeve. "Our Bella, she's not coming back, Renee. She's gone. Our baby girl is d-dead."

oOo

Bella feels an overwhelming relief. She closes her eyes. Thank you, daddy, thank you for accepting that I'm gone. And I _am_ gone, daddy, but I'll never stop loving you, I promise.

oOo

Charlie leans back in his chair and closes his eyes in distress and monumental sadness as he listens to the fierce and hysterical sobs that only a mother can make after losing her child.

* * *

**There you go! Okay, next chapter is either going to be very short or long, depending on where I divide the chapter, but either way I'll update as soon as I can. And sorry it took awhile to update this chapter. Next chapter will be the aftermath and maybe Bella's funeral, we'll see. Though, I do think we'll be going back to just having Bella's POV the whole time. Anywho, REVIEW to get a sneak preview :)**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	14. Closure

**Alright here's chapter 14! A huge thanks all who reviewed—Nissa-Cullen, Topazeye, dolphindreaming, Jaquinhah, deathgeonous, Darkmaster of the arts, I-luv-Edward-Cullen16, Eliza Days, deathfearsnone, vampirelove kittykat, j, Althia9, bookluva98, FelicityT, Ella, ahaaaa, twilight rules xx, tina062093, xxTeamAlicexx, flour-chan xXx, fang luver454, Conan in love, shouldbeworking, alicefan32, Miss Rizz, such-a-cruel-contradiction, Solar571, twilightsaga96, aleki98, NJ94, hopelessromanticgurl, RosesFromDrew, Kristin04, Jangshi1, DizzyIzzyCullen, Love Amber Sun, and et1141412. **

**Last chapter was my most reviewed chapter by far so thank you :) **

**Now Enjoy!**

* * *

_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby_

_The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had just enough time _

_If I die young bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song_

_The ballad of a dove  
Go with peace and love  
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
__Save__ them for a time when you're really gonna need 'em oh_

_What I never did is done_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

If I Die Young- The Band Perry

* * *

**Wednesday, April 24th 5:00 P.M. **_(Four Days Later )_

**Bella POV**

"Hello, Carlisle," I greet pleasantly as he returns from work. "May I take your jacket?" I offer, closing the front door after he enters the house.

Carlisle looks at me strangely. "Uh, sure? That is, if you don't mind doing so."

"Oh, not at all," I assure, taking his coat from him and turning to walk towards that hall closet.

"But Bella," Carlisle says and I turn back around to face him. "You're still not allowed to go."

I hmph. "Well, then, you can put away your own jacket," I say reproachfully, throwing the jacket at him and stalking away. I hear him laugh as he catches the jacket, and I turn around to stick my tongue out at him.

_One Hour Later_

"Please, please, please, pretty _please _with a bloody elk on top?" I beg desperately.

Carlisle tiredly flips another page of his medical textbook, not even bothering to look up. "No," he sounds exasperated.

"_Please_," I entreat.

Carlisle closes his book. "You are the most stubborn person I've ever met." He shakes his head in disbelief, his gold eyes shining with amusement.

I don't deny it. I've been begging him for the last hour, wanting to go to my funeral. As soon as Alice found out that my parents decided to have the funeral here in Forks, where I was born, I have been asking Carlisle for permission to go. He refuses to let me, though, which is really grating on my nerves.

"It's not fair," I whine, pouting. "You guys get to go."

"Life's not fair, bucko," Carlisle says simply, ruffling my brown waves with one hand. "And Charlie invited the whole town. It would be rude of us not to go."

"So you guys, who didn't even know the human me, get to go, but I, the one the funeral is honoring, don't get to go? Where is the sense in that!"

Emmett laughs. "Yes, Carlisle, where is the sense?"

"I mean, it makes total sense for Bella to go to her own funeral," Jasper says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I narrow my eyes at them.

"It's not like she hungers for everyone's blood or anything," Edward adds.

"And it's not like she can easily start a mass murder," Emmett continues.

"Nor is it likely that people will see anything wrong or suspicious with Bella sitting on a pew at her own funeral," Jasper says, smiling.

"No one would recognize me!" I protest. They ignore me.

"So you see, Carlisle, it makes _no_ sense to _not_ let Bella go to her funeral," Emmett states matter-of-factly, smirking as he leans back into the couch.

I huff, annoyed. They think they are so funny. I mean, just look at me, I'm practically dying of laughter.

Instead of a biting report, though, I sigh sadly. "You guys just don't understand," I whisper, shaking my head. And with that, I leave the room.

oOo

"Bella," a velvet voice coos softly. "Can I come in?"

I smile automatically at the sound of his voice, but don't answer him.

He knocks again. "Bella, I'm really sorry if we upset you. It wasn't our intention, I promise you."

I purse my lips in thought before deciding to give him a break and open the door. I grin when I see his contrite, pouting face.

"Why is it so hard to stay mad at you?" I ask, leaning against the doorway.

Edward grins crookedly. "It's my dashing good looks, I tell you." I laugh as Edward flips his hair. "And don't forget my amazing personality."

I roll my eyes. "Amazing personality my arse," I snort before turning around and heading back to my bed.

I hear Edward enter my room and close the door behind him. "I see you didn't deny my claim to my dashing good looks," he says cheekily, walking to sit next to me on the bed.

"I don't deny it," I say honestly, staring into his warm, playful eyes. "I think you're quite pretty."

Edward widens his eyes in mock outrage. "Did you just call _me_, man of all mans, _pretty_?"

I nod. "Yup, I'm saying you're pretty…pretty funny…pretty funny-looking." I grin.

Edward rolls his eyes, but is smiling nonetheless. "Funny, really."

I take a half-bow. "Thanks, Emmett taught me that one."

"Oh, I'm glad to see Emmett has taken you under his wing."

I smile. "Well, yesterday, he did try to get me to help him prank Carlisle by rearranging his medical journals so that they weren't in alphabetical order anymore. I, of course, said no, but now I am rethinking my answer," I say the last part loudly, so that Carlisle was sure to hear it. "Since, you know, he's being totally unfair."

"If being reasonable is unfair, then yes, I am being unfair," Carlisle says calmly from the living room.

"Ha! Did you hear that? He just admitted to being unfair!"

He ignores me. "And Emmett, I swear, if I go up to my office and see my medical journals out of order, there will be some serious grounding."

"Carlisle! What is this wild accusation I am hearing? I would never do something so trivial, so immature, so _wrong_. I am just insulted that you would even think that I would do such a thing!" Emmett exclaims indignantly. "Pss," his voice lowers to a whisper, though, of course, everyone can still hear him. "Jasper, can you go reorganize Carlisle's journals for me? Quick, before he notices."

Edward and I shake our heads and grin at each other.

"You know," Edward says after a minute of silence, "I've missed you."

I furrow my eyebrows. "You've missed me? But I've been at the house the whole time, seeing as you guys have a heart-attack every time I so much step out of the house."

"We don't want you going back to see your father," Edward explains for the thousandth time. "And what I meant is that you've been holed up in your room for practically the past four days, only coming out to beg Carlisle to let you go to the funeral."

"And here's the pot calling kettle black. You should be the last person talking about moping in rooms," I point out. "Plus, you've been in your room most of the day, too."

"Yeah," Edward pauses, "because I know you're sad, and I don't like it when you're sad," he says sincerely.

Aw, I smile. "You're sweet, but don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"She's lying," Jasper says from downstairs. "I've been getting depressed waves from her."

I huff. "Is there any privacy in this house?" I demand.

"Nope," Alice, Rose, Edward, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett all reply at the same time, all from different parts of the house.

I roll my eyes.

Edward pokes me on the shoulder. "Come on, out with it. We both know you're anything but fine."

I bite my lip and look away.

Edward sighs. "Can you at least explain what you said earlier? About how we don't understand? I don't like you feeling that way, Bella," he says softly, forcing me to look back at his concerned face.

"Aww, don't look sad, Edward. I feel like you understand me the most," I say honestly.

He smiles happily at that. "I'm glad. Now, then, spill. You know you can tell me anything."

I gaze at his worried face and patient eyes and know that he's right. I can tell him anything. "I need to see Renee," I say simply.

Edward cocks his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because every time I picture her, I just get this fuzzy image. I'm losing all my human memories, Edward. And I hate that so much. I saw Charlie and since a vampire has perfect memory, I will forever remember what he looks like, but my mom…I might never be able to recall her face again. I don't want that to happen. I want to see her just once. I just…I hate this feeling. I hate that I can't even remember my own mother's face. And I know that one by one, I'm losing my human memories."

Edward frowns, but then smiles. "I think we can fix that."

"How?" I question curiously.

"Well, like you said, vampire memories are perfect. If you tell me everything that you remember, then when you lose your memories, I can just tell you what you told me. Plus, maybe talking about the past will help you keep it."

"I don't know," I say hesitantly. "I wouldn't want to bore you."

"You can't be serious," Edward says incredulously. "There's no way you could bore me. Come on, tell me all about your wonderful parents."

"My wonderful parents?" I raise an eyebrow as I lay back on my bed. "You don't know them that well."

Edward lies back too so that we are lying next to each other on top of my bed covers. "They raised you, Bella, so they must be wonderful."

I smile at his sweet words and turn to lie on my stomach so that I can see him more clearly. "In that case, I know your parents must have been the most wonderful people ever." Edward frowns slightly and I frown too because like Edward said earlier, I'm sad when he's sad. "Do you remember them at all?" I ask gently.

He shakes his head. "Not really. All I know is from what Carlisle remembers about them, which is why I'm so glad that we are doing this. I don't want for you in an hundred years to say that you barely remember your parents."

I bite my lip. He seems to forgetting that I won't be here in an hundred years. But I don't say this because I know it will cause him to get angry like he always does when I mention my two year agreement. "So about my dad," I change the subject. "My mom always said I was my father's daughter through and through. We are both really stubborn and quiet. We are both independent, too. We like to be by ourselves sometimes, you know? We weren't around each other much, but every time I looked at the mirror, I saw his eyes staring back at me. And my mom said we had the same smile," I smile wistfully at this, "and we both weren't really affectionate. To us, saying 'I love you' didn't matter as much as actually showing someone that you loved them.

And he did. It was the little stuff that showed how much he cared. It was an extra hundred that turned up in my bank account at the start of every month or how he always asked me to email him some pictures of me so he could hang them up at his house. And like if in a phone call, I mentioned briefly that it was really hot in Phoenix and how I really needed a hat to fight off the sun's rays, then the next week, a cowboy type hat would arrive in the mail. It wasn't really my style, but it was the thought that counted, and I wore that hat every day. I just…I really loved…_love_ my daddy. I wish we could have lived together," I sigh heavily.

"Anyway, as for my mom, we looked pretty much the same, except she was prettier, and—"

"Impossible," Edward interrupts. "Someone prettier than you? I doubt it."

I snort. "That's right, I forget. You never saw human me."

"Well, I did see pictures. The picture on the fliers Charlie put around town and the pictures that Charlie did put up around the house. You were beautiful, Bella," he says sincerely.

"_Were_?" I tease. "Does that mean you think I'm ugly now?"

"Well, I don't know, do you still think I'm funny-looking?" Edward fires back.

I laugh. "Yes, yes I do."

"Then, I think you are positively hideous," Edward says seriously, but his gentle gaze and soft smile contradict his words.

"Whatever," I shove him lightly. "Now, back to my story. My mom had a lighter shade of brown for her hair and it was also straight instead of wavy like mine. She had blue eyes…" I pause, "or maybe it was brown…" I groan in frustration. "I can't even remember my mother's eye color."

"You're right, though, they were blue," Edward reassures. I raise an eyebrow in question. "I saw her face in Charlie's thoughts briefly."

"I thought you couldn't read his thoughts that well."

"I can't," he agrees. "But he must have been thinking really hard about her because I did pick up a clear image of her. Usually, I can't pick up a thing from him. Before I met you, I thought it was because he was slow in thought, and then when I first saw him, I figured that he was too depressed to think clearly and that's why I couldn't get any thoughts, but now I'm thinking you're right. You are very much like you're father. I guess private minds run in the family. Also, you were right about his eyes. They looked exactly like yours. And when his cheeks turned red—"

I groan and bury my head into my pillow. "Ugh, I remember that blush. Thanks god I can't blush as a vampire."

"No," Edward disagrees. "I bet a blushing Bella would have been adorable."

"You would lose that bet. I looked like a bright tomato every time I blushed. It was so annoying."

"I still think it would have been adorable," Edward persists.

"Think whatever you want, Edward. But anyway, unlike my dad and I, my mom and I were completely different. She was so outgoing and was trying new things every day. Like that one time…"

And so for the next twelve hours, I basically told Edward my life story. He really listened and never grew distracted or looked bored. We laughed plenty, and he made it so I didn't feel sad and wistful when I talked about my human life, but instead I felt happy for the life I had lived.

He's so perfect. I love talking to him and even though we spent the last twelve hours together, I miss him when he leaves for school. But when he returns, we go straight back to my room where we talk about my high school years.

"Woah, woah, what?" Edward interrupts me. "You never had a boyfriend?"

I look down shyly. "Well, no. No guys really liked me."

"Oh, please, I'm sure plenty of guys liked you. They just weren't brave enough to say so," Edward says certainly.

I shake my head. "That's nice of you to say so, but no. I was mostly shy and quiet and no guy gave me a second glance."

"What idiots," Edward mumbles.

I laugh. "It was fine. I never liked any guys myself."

"Really? Why was that?" Edward looks extremely curious.

I shrug. "I don't know. No one really appealed to me."

"What appeals to you? Like, what do you look for in a guy?" Edward interrogates, leaning towards me.

I look for someone who is intelligent and funny. Someone who knows how to listen. Someone I can talk to for hours. Someone who makes me feel special. Someone who is kind and caring. Someone with warm, beautiful eyes and soft hair that I'm dying to run my fingers through. Someone amazing and perfect. So, yeah, someone like you.

But I can't say that, so I laugh instead. "What's up with all the questions?" I ask and he looks down sheepishly. "Why don't I ask you a question?" I shift the attention to him. "Have you ever had a girlfriend before?"

_Please say no, please say no, please say no._

"Nope."

Yes! I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. "And why is that? You must have girls falling over you at school." I narrow my eyes at the thought.

Edward smiles. "Well, some do have some rather…suggestive…thoughts, but I could never date a human."

"But do you want to? Date a human, I mean."

_Please say no, please say no, please say no._

"No, not at all."

I grin happily, but then frown. If he doesn't want to date a human, then... "But you must have met tons of beautiful vampires, right?"

"I guess you could say they are pretty, yes, but again, I've never had any interest in dating anyone."

"Oh," I say disappointedly. Hear that, Bella, he has no interest in dating anyone, including you. "But, say that you did want to date someone, what would this someone be like?" I ask, trying not to sound overly intrested.

Edward raises and eyebrow. "Now who's the one with all the questions?"

"Well, I'm curious," I defend myself. "I mean, you've been alive for like a hundred years. You've had to have had a girlfriend."

Edward shakes his head. "Nope."

"Waiting for that special someone?" I promt. I can be that special person, Edward. Please let me be that for you.

"Something like that," he answers vaguely.

"Well," I bite me lip, "anyone would be lucky to have you, Edward," I say honestly.

"You think?"

"I know," I correct, smiling, and he grins back.

"And anyone would be lucky to have you, too, Bella. And just so you know, those boys were idiots to not have seen how special you are," Edward says firmly, his eyes burning with sincerity. I smile, but don't respond. He sighs. "Later we are going to talk about how poorly you see yourself. But for now, continue with your story."

_The Next Day_

"Bella, can you stop sulking on that couch, and come hug me goodbye?" Alice holds out her hands.

"I'm not sulking," I grumble, but get up anyway.

It's the day of my funeral, and alas, Carlisle still refuses to let me go. All of the Cullens are dressed-up in black and ready to head to the church.

"Bye, Alice," I say softly, bending down to give her a hug. I then hug Jasper, Esme, Emmett, and awkwardly pat Rose on the back. When its Carlisle's turn, I give him my best puppy-pout that Alice spent a whole hour teaching me how to perfect.

"Good try, Bella, but you're staying right here." I sigh and he wraps his arms around me in a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but you know I can't lead you into a church full of people. You're strong, but not that strong. Please see that I'm only trying to be reasonable. I hate making you feel sad, especially when you've dealt with enough sadness to last a lifetime," Carlisle whispers gently into my ear.

I smile and peck his cheek. "I really want to go, Carlisle…but I do know you're doing what you think is best for me and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You're very welcome." He smiles at me before addressing the room. "Okay, we need to go before we're late."

So with a last wave goodbye, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, and Alice are out the door. I glance at Edward, who only just told me twenty minutes ago that he was staying.

"Bella, we—" he starts to say, but I turn away from him and start towards the stairs. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Upstairs," I say simply.

In a blink of an eye, Edward is standing in front of me. "What's wrong?" he demands, blocking my path.

I rub my forehead with my fingers. "I'm not stupid. I know why you stayed. You're here to babysit me and make sure I don't go to the church. You guys don't trust me!" I accuse.

"That's not tru—" Edward starts to say, but stops as I raise a doubtful eyebrow. "Okay, maybe it is a little bit true, _but_," Edward hurries to add as I start to make a move to go past him, "that doesn't mean we don't trust you. You've just been known to be irrational when it comes to your parents."

I don't deny it, but make a face, so he knows I'm still displeased.

He sighs. "Look, can we not fight about this now? We need to get going."

"Going? Where are we going?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Out," Edward replies, smiling at me.

"I'm going to the funeral?" I can't stop the excitement that creeps into my voice.

"No, of course not," Edward says and I frown in disappointment. His grin turns mischievous. "We're going to see your mom."

oOo

"Why are we going towards Charlie's house?" I question as we race through the forest, Edward slightly ahead of me.

"Because that's where Renee and Phil are staying," Edward answers, jumping over a fallen tree.

I'm so surprised by this information that I trip over the fallen tree. I hit the ground hard, getting mud all over my clothes and some even in my mouth. "Blech," I spit out the mud in disgust.

Edward is standing a few feet away, bent over laughing. I scowl. When Edward sees me try to get up, he stops laughing and is quickly right next to me. I accept his offered hand reluctantly and stand up.

"Thanks," I say drily.

He grins. "No problem. Now I see what you told me earlier about being a klutzy human." He laughs again. "You should really see yourself right now."

I look down at my clothes that are covered in mud and grin mischievously. "Why don't you give me a hug, Edward?"

"Oh, no, no, no." Edward backs away and I follow him, holding my arms out wide.

"Come on, Edward—oh! Look!" I point off to a random direction, and Edward follows where my finger points. I roll my eyes. I can't believe he fell for that. While he furrows his eyebrows in confusion, I lunge and hug him tightly.

"Oof, wow, okay, funny, Bella," he says sarcastically, trying to get out of my grip. I don't let him go because he feels so perfect and after a few moments, he stops fighting it and relaxes into the hug.

"Bella?" he says after minutes of silence.

"Yes?" I hum contently.

I feel him smile. "You smell like mud," he whispers.

I laugh and roll my eyes before letting go of him. "Well, now you do, too. That's what you get for laughing at me."

"It was funny," Edward says defensively.

"I wasn't laughing," I respond. "Now come on, we don't want to miss them."

"Alright, but hold your breath. We'll enter the town in a few minutes."

oOo

"Dammit," Edward curses five minutes later.

I halt and give him a questioning look. Edward doesn't say anything, just turns around and starts running back into the woods. I follow him anxiously, knowing the only reason we are going into the woods is because Edward wants to talk to me and I can't talk or breathe unless we are far away from any humans. A minute later, when we are deep into the woods, he stops.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

"We missed them," he sighs.

"How do you know?" I ask. We were still at least a mile away from my old house when he had turned around.

"Because I couldn't hear their thoughts by the house," Edward explains.

"Okay, well, can you hear their thoughts at all?"

Edward scrunches he's face in concentration. Adorable. "Yes," he says after a moment. "They're driving to the church. They're ten minutes away."

"And how far away are we?" I question, hoping beyond hope that we could catch them before they entered the church.

"Seven minutes probably…but I don't think…" he trails off and looks away.

I frown, feeling disappointment washing over me. It is one thing briefly see my parents at the house, but another to go to the funeral where the whole town will be gathered. "Oh," I look down so Edward won't see my crushed face.

"Bella," Edward's sweet voice coaxes me to look up at him. He smiles slightly when I make eye-contact. "How much do you want this?"

How much do I want to see my mother? Is that a serious question? "More than anything," I say honestly.

Edward nods slowly. "Then we'll go."

I gape at him, not believing what he was saying. "Really?"

He nods again, giving me a crooked smile. Without thinking, I lunge and wrap him in an iron-clad hug. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. You won't regret this, I promise."

"Oh, Bella," Edward sighs my name as he pulls out of my grip just enough so he can rest his forehead against mine. "How can I regret something that makes you so happy?"

His words are so sweet and his eyes so genuine that I can't say anything. I just hug him again, hoping to show him all the gratitude and love I feel for him. Well, I don't show him_ all_ the love I feel since that would freak him out because the love I feel for him is so much stronger than what a sister should feel for her brother. I've always known that. I've always known that I could never love him like I love Carlisle or Jasper or Emmett. For Edward, my love is stronger than that.

It's always been more.

I know I love him in a way I shouldn't, in the all-consuming, enveloping, unconditional, forever kind of way. My love for him developed less quickly than it did for the rest of the Cullens, but only because I've never felt this kind of love before. But I know somewhere between the moment I realized that he didn't hate me to the time we sat up in that tree, I had fallen for him. I can't pinpoint an exact moment in which my crush turned into an extreme devotion that quickly turned into love. It happened gradually, slowly, yet fiercely, enveloping me with its warmth. And from the moment he lead me down that tree, my love has only grown. And now? In this moment? I promise you, no one has ever loved anyone more than I love Edward.

I bury my head into the nook of his neck so he won't be able to see the love overflowing in my eyes. He kisses the top of my head and it feels so good and I never want to let go of this moment.

"Hey, Bella?" Edward whispers softly after a minute. "As much as I enjoy hugging you, we really need to go now if we want to catch them." I nod, but don't pull away. He chuckles softly and I wish I could bottle that sound up and keep it forever. He pulls away slowly and I let him, knowing he is right.

"Ready?" He holds a hand out and I take it.

"Yes, I'm ready."

oOo

Dear God, I was not prepared for this, I think to myself as I lay eyes on my parents. Edward and I are lying on a hill overlooking the church. The wind is blowing downwind so no human scent is swirling around us, but I still don't breathe. The human heartbeats don't bother me at all, thankfully. It's raining pretty heavily, which is good since no one can see us through the rain. We are about half a mile away, yet Edward and I can see the entrance clearly.

As soon as we had laid down, though, the police cruiser that carried my mom, dad, and Phil pulled into the packed parking lot. And I was clearly not ready to see my mom's and dad's face. I can't describe it. It is pure devastation written on their faces and I want nothing more than to run up to them and hug them and tell them that I was alright.

"Shh, it's okay, Bella." At Edward's soothing voice, I realize that I'm pretty close to crying.

I lean into his side and he wraps an arm around me. It's not a restraining grip—he trusts me enough to know that I would never put my parents in danger—but a comforting one.

I see my mom lift a handkerchief to her nose and blow and I realize that she's crying. Oh, mommy, don't cry, I beg silently. I shake my head. This was such a bad idea. I knew I wanted to see my mom, but not like this. I don't want my last memory of her to be this.

Just then, I see Emmett exit the church. I widen my eyes, hoping he doesn't smell Edward and me. The rest of the Cullens are inside the church, so I wonder what Emmett is doing. I get my answer as I see him walk up to my mom and dad. His face is uncharacteristically grave as he nods a greeting to my dad and takes my mom's hand in his.

"Make her laugh," I whisper unconsciously. And even through the sound of the rain, I know Emmett hears me. He doesn't look up at the hill where Edward and I are laying, but a small smile tugs briefly at his lips, and I know he knows we are here. I also know that he won't tell anyone else.

"Mrs. Dywer," Emmett says charismatically, kissing my mom's hand. "Welcome to Forks."

"T-thank you," my mom's voice is shaky, but just like I remembered it, soft and comforting. "Did, d-did you know B-b-b—her?"

Emmett shakes his head. "No, mam', but I wish I had the pleasure of meeting her. But if you don't mind me saying, you look more like her sister than her mom," Emmett says charmingly, giving her a dimpled-smile.

I smile myself. I love my brother. I love him for not saying my name, knowing my mom wouldn't be able to handle it, and I love the way he made her laugh. It's not a full-out, happy laugh. It's a weak one, but it's enough. I memorize the way her head tilts back slightly, how her eyes crinkle, how her hair sways with the movement, how beautiful she sounds. I commit it all to memory. This is my mom, and I love her so much.

"That's very kind of you—?"

"Emmett," Emmett supplies. "Now, I would love to escort you and the two men inside to your seats."

My mom nods, and they all take a step forward. I know this is the last time I'll ever see my mom.

"Take care of her, Phil, please," I whisper.

As if he hears me, he wraps an arm around my mother's shaking shoulder and my mom leans into his grip. And I know with all my heart that with Phil by her side, my mom will get through this eventually. Years from now, maybe, but one day, she'll move on and live a long and happy life with the love of her life.

I wish I can say the same for my dad.

I watch him follow behind my mom and Phil with his hands stuffed in his pocket. My heart reaches out to him and I can't bear to see his head down and defeated, walking alone. But just when I think that, someone calls out his name.

It's a woman I vaguely remember from my childhood. I forget her name, but she has copper-skin, black, cropped hair, and dark brown eyes. At the sound of his name, Charlie turns around, and I can't believe it, but he actually smiles at her. It's a small, barely-there smile, but it's a smile. I see Charlie open his arms wide and the girl runs towards him and gives him a hug.

"Who is she?" I ask in a shocked voice. I feel comfortable talking now, knowing that no human scent is blowing towards me and that everyone is indoors.

"Sue Clearwater," Edward answers. "Her husband has recently died. He was a close friend of Charlie's and Charlie helped plan the funeral with her. They stayed in contact, but with Charlie constantly working on solving your case, they didn't see each other much. When she found out about your funeral, she returned the favor and helped him plan this funeral."

"That's terrible. Charlie lost both his friend and me?" I shake my head. My poor daddy. "When did he die?"

"The day we found you," Edward answers hesitantly. "He…he was the guy in the woods."

I gasp. I remember the middle-aged man. I remember how I wanted to kill him. I remember him tripping on the cursed log and hitting his head on a rock. "But I thought that Carlisle and you took him to the hospital."

"We did, but he didn't make it. His head was pretty hard hit and he was old. He died a few hours later."

"That means after only three weeks of knowing I was missing, his friend died. But, what are the chances? How come Charlie had to know that guy? Why did he have to die? Why did I have to die?" I ask desperately.

Just then, I see Charlie start sobbing into the woman's chest and it shocks the hell out of me. Charlie always has the tough-guy persona on and he hates to let people see his emotions. He must really care for this woman to let his guard down so completely.

"Did you ever think, Bella," Edward starts to answer my question, "that maybe everything happens for a reason?"

I look back at Sue who is now rubbing my dad's back gently and whispering soothing words into his ear.

Maybe, indeed.

oOo

After my dad and Sue enter the church, Edward and I stand up. It's time to go. I say one last silent goodbye to my parents, and then Edward and I run quickly and silently back to the house. When we enter, I turn to face Edward for the first time since we left, and see his agonized face.

"Oh, Edward, what's wrong?" I ask hurriedly, reaching up to cradle his head in my hands, and looking him over in concern. Did he hurt himself?

"All those thoughts," Edward whispers weakly. "All those thoughts about you being dead…I couldn't…I just…you…dead."

Understanding washes over me. "Edward, oh, Edward, I'm right here, you know that. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere," I swear honestly.

Edward nods and looks away. "Hey, we are still muddy, our clothes are wet from the rain, and we don't want everyone asking any questions when they come back, so let's take a shower."

I frown, seeing through him immediately. He just wants to be by himself. And even though it hurts, I understand. I let him go and watch him walk dejectedly up the stairs.

_Two Days Later_

All the Cullens except Alice and I are out hunting, and I think it's finally time for me to do what I've been wanting to do for a while. Alice sees my decision, but doesn't try to stop me as I step out the door. I smile, knowing that means that I won't encounter any humans along the way. I run quickly, flying through the woods.

When I enter Fork's graveyard. I shiver uncomfortably. This place gives me the creeps. I walk through the graves until I finally reach mine. It's a gray, smooth stone. I kneel down and finger the letters carved into the stone.

_R.I.P_

_Bella Swan_

_Beloved Daughter_

I smile, loving the fact that it didn't have my real, formal name, and knowing that this was my dad's doing. I look down at the ground and see two bouquets of purple roses, my favorite kind. One for each day I've been buried, and I wonder if this is also my daddy's doing. Looking back at the grave, I stare long and hard at my dates of birth and death that is listed under the Beloved Daughter bit.

This is why I came here.

I've been dead for a long time, and every day since then, I've mourned my human life. But now, now it's time to accept it and move on. I look at the grave with my name on it. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I need to get that through my head. It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and fully embrace my vampire life. My human life is over and I'm dead.

I had a good life, I know that. I had two amazing parents and I was happy, I can't forget that. It's over, though, and once and for all, I have to accept it. This is my life now. My life is with the Cullens, with Edward. And my life right now isn't bad at all, not at all.

_Goodbye, my beating heart, _I think silently, biting my lip to keep a sob from coming out.

_Goodbye crying actual tears._

_Goodbye the possibility of having kids._

_Goodbye sweat._

_Goodbye sleep._

_Goodbye period._

_Goodbye exhaustion._

_Goodbye eating actual food._

_Goodbye drinking things other than blood._

_Goodbye blush._

_Goodbye having a job._

_Goodbye growing old._

_Goodbye hearing my mom's infectious laugh._

_Goodbye talking to my dad and hearing his gruff voice._

_Goodbye Mommy._

_Goodbye Daddy._

_And, lastly, goodbye to you, human Bella. Rest in peace. Rest in peace knowing that you had a wonderful life and now, you're doing pretty okay, too. _

The whole time I'm silently saying my goodbyes, dry-sobs wreck my body. But with my last goodbye to my human-self a weight is lifted off my shoulder. Closure. This is how closure feels. I wonder why I haven't done this earlier, but glancing back at me grave, the answer is obvious. My mom and dad aren't the only ones who needed the funeral to finally accept the fact that I'm dead. I needed it too. I needed to see this grave, this physical, tangible proof that I'm dead.

I'm dead, but I'm alive, too, and maybe, just maybe, that's okay.

I'm sad for me, I'm sad for my parents, but, at the same time, I'm so, _so _happy, and maybe that's okay, too.

Maybe Edward was right when he said everything happened for a reason.

Maybe the reason I was changed was so that I could become part of the Cullen family.

Maybe the reason I was changed was so that I could love Edward every day of forever.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll be sticking around for more than just two years.

* * *

**There you go! I hope you liked it. And I'm so so so sorry I didn't update until now. I know it was a long waot. Third quarter was ending and there was a lot of homework to get done. But I'm on my spring break now so to make it up to you guys, I will update in one week. Next chapter is the Cullen's spring break so review if you want a sneak preview! **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	15. Sparkle!

**Hey! Here's Chapter 15, but first, a big thanks to my reviewers—dolphindreaming, RosesFromDrew, booksandmusiclover, et1141412, carrigan-r, dlajmc, Sweetie7smiled, xxTeamAlicexx, vampirelove kittykat, HurricaneBree, twilightsaga96, shouldbeworking, Anonoymous, Grateful (I got your message, but you didn't attach your email to it. Send it again, and I'll send you one :)), alicefan32, Conan in love, Anonoymous, Vampirelover4eva, LunaDiSangue85, TeamEmmette, aleki98, vampiressuck852, Felicity, Jaquinhah, DizzyIzzyCullen, twilightcrazed999, tina062093, Solar571, Tash 4 Twilight, p a i g e . h, Professor Badass, xxxbullettxxx, hopelessromanticgurl, Twilighter930, NJ94, Kristin04, and Miss Rizz.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"_I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you."_

_~Unknown_

* * *

**Monday, April 29th 5:45 A.M. **_(6 hours later)_

"…and it was _so_ much fun." I smile at Edward. I had just finished telling him another story about my dad and me. I found that it helps lessen the pain of losing my parents if I talk about our good memories and the love we shared. And Edward has been such a big help. He's always there to listen to my stories no matter how boring or trivial and whenever I seem close to losing it, he would always say something that would make me laugh.

He's amazing.

Edward smiles crookedly back at me. Yeah, his smile is pretty damn amazing too. "Hey, Bella, can I ask you a question?"

I'm about to say 'you just did,' but I refrain because he's looking at me seriously and I know what he's about to ask is not a joking matter. "Sure, Edward. You can ask me anything," I assure him sincerely.

He nods and looks away for a moment. We are sitting on the black couch in his room and he scoots closer to me. I want so badly to close that last inch between us.

Edward looks back at me, his face nervous. "Well, it's just that a couple of days ago when you were telling me about your dad, you said that you liked the fact that you and your dad didn't have to tell each other that you loved each other. You think that it's better to show someone that you love them instead of just saying it, right?" I nod slowly, not knowing where he is going with this. "Well…exactly how would you show someone that you loved them?"

My heart stops. "Y-you want to show someone that you l-l-love them?" Who is she? Who is this person who has managed to take Edward's beautiful heart when I have failed so miserably? Edward can't be so cruel as to ask me to help him get a girl, right? Because that…that would just shatter my heart.

"No," Edward shakes his head. Oh, thank god. "Just hypothetically."

"Okay, well, do you mean how to show someone you love them in a friend way? Father-daughter way? Brother-sister way? Or roman—"

"The romantic way, yes," Edward answers, looking nervous again.

"Why? I mean, why do you want to know?" I question curiously.

He shrugs. "A…a f-friend of mine wants to be with this amazing girl, who is currently just a friend, but he isn't sure how to go about it. I figure I could help him out by giving him a girl's opinion."

"A friend? From school?" I cock my head to the side in confusion. He nods. "But I thought you guys didn't interact with humans."

He shrugs again. "We can't keep to ourselves all the time. That would look suspicious."

"That makes sense," I agree, nodding.

Edward looks surprised. "Yeah? So you'll help? Like if you wanted a guy to show you that he loves you romantically, what should he do?"

"Well," I purse my lips in thought. "Compliments never hurt. And he should let her know that he only wants to spend time with her and only her. Make her feel special, too. Like show her or tell her something that you've never shown or told anyone before. And asking questions never hurts, you know, so she knows he's interested. Physical touches are key, though. Holding hands, putting an arm around her shoulder, hugging, playing with her hair—small stuff just so she knows that he's interested in a more than friendly way. Kisses can help with that, too. Mind you, not on the lips—that might be too forward—but on the hands or cheek or forehead."

"What else? Should he give her gifts?"

I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head. "No. Well," I add after a moment of thought, "actually, most girls like big gifts, but you know me." I smile. "I don't like people spending money on me."

Edward nods. "But, say, the guy wanted to give _you_ a gift…?"

"I mean, a small gift would be fine. Flowers, chocolate, that stuff. Just something to show that he cares. More importantly, just tell your friend to be caring and kind and she'll probably fall for him in no time."

Edward nods, accepting this. "Alright, compliments, hanging out, making her feel special, physical touches, small gifts, kindness," he lists. "Did I get it?"

I nod and smile. "Yup."

Edward grins. "Cool. Thanks Bella."

"No problem. Now shouldn't you be getting ready?" I glance at the clock that reads 6:15. He's usually in the shower by now.

Edward furrows his eyebrows. "Ready? For what?"

"School," I say in a duh tone.

He laughs. "Oh Bella, don't you know? It's spring break!"

I widen my eyes in excitement. "Really? How long are you guys off?"

"A week," Edward answers, smiling at my enthusiasm.

I grin back. This is awesome. For a whole week we don't have to be apart from each other. "This is great! We should celebrate! Let's go out and—"

"—train!" Jasper's voice drifting from downstairs finishes the sentence for me

I groan. "That's not what I was going to say and you know it, Jasper."

"Whatever, Bella, just get your butt down here," he answers back. "We are having a family meeting all about your training,"

"Fine, I'll come down. Really, I just can't wait!" I say cheerfully while at the same time gesturing for Edward to come closer. He does and once he's by my bed I sit up to whisper in his ear, "Distract them, will ya? Then I can jump through the window."

"Good plan, Bella," Emmett says sarcastically, also from downstairs. "Except, oh wait, you forgot that we have vampire hearing and heard everything you just said."

I giggle and roll my eyes. "Whatever, fine, ruin our fun."

Edward takes my hand and gives it a soft squeeze. "Don't worry, Bella, afterwards, you and me can hang out. Sound fun?"

I smile. He doesn't have the faintest clue of how fun that sounded. "Sounds _great_, Edward."

oOo

"Oh, boy," I grumble as I walk into the living room and see everyone on the couches, facing Jasper who is standing next to a tripod holding a packet of 22 by 28 inch papers. On the first piece of paper in big, pink bubbly letters—Alice's doing, probably—is 'Bella's Training'

Edward and I both move to the empty seats on the nearest couch and Jasper smiles at everyone, clearly excited. "Okay, so I thought we'll do a rundown of the progress Bella has made these past three months and then we can see where there is room for improvement and what our next goals are going to be."

At this, all of us try to hide our smiles because we don't want Jasper to think that we are laughing at him. It's just that it's adorable how much effort he's putting into this.

"Alright," Jasper flips the first page over and now it says, 'Part One: Control of Strength.' But no one pays attention to that part. Instead we all stare at…

"What is _that_?" Rose questions, pointing at the bottom of the page where there are some blue squiggles.

Jasper cracks another of his easy-going grins. "Well, I asked Emmett to draw a picture that represents every phrase and this is what he came up with."

We all look at Emmett's proud face and then back at the lines, which is supposedly a drawing.

"So what is it supposed to be?" Esme asks kindly.

"Isn't it obvious?" Emmett says incredulously. "It's Bella opening a door without breaking it."

"Oh, yeah," Alice says, "if you cock your head to the side and squint at it, it kinda looks like…something, at least."

We all follow her lead and she's right. I can make out a horrid stick figure which I assume is supposed to represent me and a weird-shaped object which I guess is an open door.

I frown playfully and hold my arms out. "My left arm isn't bigger than my right, right? Because that's how it looks like in the picture."

Emmett pouts and begins to defend himself, but I'm sure not paying attention because Edward is now leaning in so he can whisper to me.

I shiver as I feel his lips near my ear. "We can't judge Emmett too harshly, you know. I mean, not even the best painter in the world could accurately depict your beauty."

"Oh, stop," I say, embarrassed, elbowing him softly. "You're just saying that."

"On the contrary, I meant every word I said," he whispers honestly.

I grin hugely. He thinks _I'm_ beautiful. He's said that to me plenty of times before, but it's still amazing every time. I lessen my smile, though, because I know not to hope for too much. I'm a vampire. Not to be vain or conceited, but I_ am_ beautiful. All vampires are—it's what attracts human prey. Edward is just stating a fact when he says I'm beautiful. I have to remember that it doesn't mean anything.

"Well, same goes to you," I plan to stop there, but for some reason, my mouth keeps moving. "You could never look anything but gorgeous. Even an Emmett stick-drawing of you would look beautiful." Oh god, why does my mouth not have a filter? I didn't mean to say all of that; it just came out. That's not what friends say to other friends!

"Thanks," Edward says softly, clearly not weirded out like I thought he would be. I breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe he didn't detect the devotion and admiration that was so clearly painted on every word I had said.

"Alright, next page." Jasper prevents me from responding and I realize that he had been talking to everyone while Edward and I were whispering. He flips to the next page. This time 'Phase Two: Touch' is written on the page. Under the writing is another picture.

"Wow, I wonder who that devilishly handsome, tall, muscular man is," Emmett comments, puffing his chest out.

Everyone rolls their eyes. The picture features a huge, towering stick figure shaking hands with a puny stick drawing that only passed the other stick-drawing's knee. I suppose the big figure is Emmett and I'm the tiny one.

"I'm sorry, but I am not that small," I say firmly.

"And Emmett, you are not that big," Edward adds. I smile gratefully at him for backing me up.

"Details," Emmett waves a hand dismissively, grinning, still proud of himself.

"Anyway," Jasper rolls his golden eyes, "Here Bella has perfected her touch. She can physically interact with humans by giving them hand-shakes and hugs and all the like. Now, of course, there is a ton of room for improvement and I was thinking…"

And so it went for the next _half an_ _hour._ Jasper went through each phase: the third being my speed ("which is what we are on now. Course, Bella has been doing fine, but there is always room for improvement…"), the fourth is working on my fidgeting ("which we will start as soon as Bella has control over her speed. I don't expect for it to take long for Bella to learn how to fidget properly, but, of course, afterwards, we will leave some time for improvement…"), and the fifth which is what Jasper is talking about right now.

"Okay, this phase is all about helping Bella control her bloodlust. Now this is going to be the longest and hardest phrase. It will take immense work and probably will take a least a year for her to be able to stand in a room full of humans without starting a massacre. Of course—"

"—there will be time for improvement," we all finish for him, groaning a little.

Jasper smiles, happy that we got it. "Alright, now that we got that figured out, I brainstormed a couple of exercises for each phase…"

Now for the next _hour_, Jasper listed out exercises, the amount of time each should take, when we will do them, where, the benefits of each exercise, the setbacks, and what the hopeful outcome of each one would be. I can't say it was all that bad. Every time Jasper flipped a sheet, there was a moment of relief as we all took a few minutes to guess what each drawing represented. No one ever guessed right, though, and finally, Emmett had to tell us what was going through that head of his when he drew each one.

And I can't say the whole meeting was boring, because truthfully, I wasn't listening very hard to Jasper. I snuck glances at Edward's face every once in a while, daydreaming about us being together. I'm currently thinking that if we were together we would be holding hands right now like all the other Cullen pairs are doing. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Jasper calling my name until the second time he did.

"Uh yeah?" I ask sheepishly, turning to face him.

"I said we are not going to start training until tomorrow, if that's all right with you,' Jasper repeats.

"You mean we aren't starting now?" I question hopefully.

He shakes his head. "No, this meeting was just to get everyone on the same page and so that everyone knows what to expect. I figure we can just start tomorrow and if we work every day for the next year, you'll be a full-bloomed vegetarian in no time."

I try to smile, really, but training _every day_ for a _year_?

"Now, Jasper," Carlisle sits up a little straighter. "This week is you kids' spring break and that's just what this will be. A break. Training can wait a week," he reasons.

I smile and mouth 'Thank you' to him. He winks a warm, gold eye at me.

Jasper frowns, but then nods slowly. "I guess that makes sense. Of course that means our schedule is now off course. We will just have to go through each exercise and decide when to do them and whether we will have to shorten some or not."

Rose smiles charmingly at Jasper. "Oh, you can do that yourself. We all trust you to make the best decisions, right guys?" she prompts us.

We all nod hurriedly and chorus our agreements.

Jasper nods, looking proud of himself. "Alright, I'll work something out."

We breathe a sigh of relief at the fact that we are free. I walk up to Jasper and give him a big hug. "Thanks for everything, big brother," I whisper sincerely.

He smiles. "No problem, baby sis. I'm having a blast." I grin, seeing that he's telling the truth. Everyone else makes sure to thank Jasper.

"Hey," I say as Carlisle walks back to the couch. I look at the clock reading 7:30. "Don't you have work now, Carlisle?"

He shakes his head. "No, sweetheart, its sunny out today."

Before I can ask him what that has to do with anything, Edward puts a gentle hand on my shoulder, coaxing me to turn around and look at him.

"Ready?" he asks when we make eye contact.

"R-ready?" I repeat dumbly, not able to think clearly with his hand on me, his warm eyes piercing mine, and his crooked smile.

"Yeah, you said we could hang out together afterwards, remember?" he looks nervous now, like I'm about to change my mind.

"Of course I remember," I assure. How could I forget? "Hanging out, just you and me."

"Just you and me," he repeats happily, smiling.

Breathe Bella, I have to remind myself. "So what do you have in mind?" I ask curiously.

"Depends. What do you want to do?"

I shrug. "I don't know. What do _you _want to do?"

He shrugs too. "I don't know. What do _you_ want to do?" he mocks me playfully.

I roll my eyes and smile. "Serious, Edward. What do you want to do?"

He grins. "I really don't care, Bella. I'll have fun as long as I'm with you." I smile and bite my lip at this. "Now, come on, pick something to do, and we'll do it."

"Well," I purse my lips in thought. "Carlisle did say it was sunny outside…" I trial off, hoping he'll be up for a walk outside. I love my family, I really do, but I don't want them hearing every word Edward and I say, even if they don't mean to eavesdrop. Like Edward said, just me and him this time.

Edward's face brightens. Beautiful. "I've got an idea. Wanna go outside with me? I want to show you something."

"You don't even have to ask," I say, smiling. "Of course I'll go."

oOo

"What are you doing?" Edward asks, sounding like he is about to laugh as he watches me hop around.

"What do you think? I'm making sure I don't step into the sun," I say, keeping my gaze on the ground. We are lucky the trees are blocking most of the sunlight, but the sun's rays poke through some gaps in the branches, gaps which I've been dodging since we left the house.

"Why?" Edward asks curiously, slowing down his stride so that he's right next to me.

I stop running and he does too. "Uh maybe because I don't want to burn to death?"

Edward laughs and it's a beautiful sound. "Bella, we told you before that that's just a myth."

"You guys also told me that you'd show me what happens when we do go into the sun," I point out.

"I still can't believe that you don't know," he replies, "I'll show you when we get there."

"Ooh, where are we going?" I question eagerly.

"I'm not telling you." Edward grins. "It's a surprise."

I pout. "Can't you just tell me? I don't like surprises."

"You don't?" Edward asks. I shake my head. "Why, Bella, I learn something new about you every day."

I smile. "So now that you know, you'll tell me?" I ask hopefully.

"Nope." I frown, but Edward just grins mischievously. "It's better this way, trust me."

"I do," I say softly, serious now. Edward cocks his head to the side, confused. "Trust you, I mean."

He flashes me a crooked smile and his topaz eyes darken slightly. "I'm glad. Now come on, I can't wait for you to see."

oOo

"Close your eyes," Edward orders gently as he slows down to a halt.

"Why?" I furrow my eyebrows, stopping too.

"Because we are almost there and I don't want you seeing it yet," he explains, moving so that he is standing behind me.

Grumbling my consent, I close my eyes, but I can practically see his gorgeous smile as he gently puts a hand at the small of my back and guides me through the forest. I shiver at his touch, but all too soon, he removes his warm hand. I make a small sound of protest as I hear him walking away from me.

"I'll be right back," he promises. "I'm just gonna grab some things."

I nod reluctantly and then hear him running, slowing down to a stop, then running off somewhere else. He doesn't stray more than 200 meters from me, so he's just running back and forth. I want to open my eyes to see what he's doing, but he seems so excited about surprising me and I don't want to ruin it for him.

"Alright," he finally says and I smell his sweet scent and know that he is standing right next to me. "You can open your eyes."

I eagerly do so and gasp at what I see. I am standing at the edge of a glorious circular meadow. Towering, magnificent trees surround the outer edges around the meadow and tall, perfectly green grass fills the meadow with the addition of beautiful flowers that are brilliant shades of red, purple, blue, and yellow. The sky is a gorgeous blue and the sun shines directly above, filling the meadow with its warm rays and bright light.

"It's amazing," I breathe in amazement. I turn to my side where I know Edward is standing and my stomach flutters happily at the sight of his crooked smile. I glance down and see him offering me a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he must have picked when my eyes were closed. "Oh, Edward." I whisper, accepting the flowers with a huge smile.

When they are in my hands, I realize that the green stems are tied together with a type of string. Wondering where he got it, I glance questioning at Edward. He looks down and I follow his gaze to see one of his shoes missing a shoe lace. "Oh, Edward," I whisper again, touched. "That's so sweet of you," I say sincerely, dipping my head and sniffing the flowers. They smell wonderful, but what I like most is the fact that some of Edward's scent lingers on the petals and stems.

Edward gives me an almost shy smile. "I didn't have any ribbon, so I thought I'd make do with a shoelace. And I know purple roses are your favorite kind, but they don't grow here so…"

"Oh, no, these flowers are gorgeous, Edward," I assure him. "But how did you know purple roses are my favorite flower?" I ask curiously.

He shrugs. "You mentioned it once."

"Wait," I say, remembering the purple roses I found on my grave last night that I thought Charlie put there. "Were you the one who put flowers on my grave?"

Edward nods and I stand there speechless. "Y-you're not mad right?" he asks nervously when a minute goes by without me saying anything.

"No!" I exclaim. "That h-has to be…that's the s-sweetest…I-I don't know what to say," I stutter and stumble before just giving up and giving him a big hug.

"You don't have to say anything, Bella." Edward hugs me back tightly. "This is perfect."

I smile against his shoulder. "But I do want to say thank you, Edward. You didn't have to do that."

Edward doesn't say anything, just squeezes me closer and for a brief second I think I feel his lips pressing against the top of my head, but he pulls away from my grasp too quickly afterwards for me to be sure. I frown at the loss of contact, but Edward gives me his damn grin again and how can you frown when he's smiling at you like that?

"Are you ready to see what happens when we are in the sunlight?" Edward asks rhetorically.

I see that he's about to lift his foot up to step into the meadow and out of the shade of the trees, but I place a restraining hand on his arm. I know he says that burning in the sunlight is just a myth, but if the sun doesn't hurt us, then why didn't Carlisle go to work today and why did they tell me to avoid the sunlight at all costs? I don't want Edward putting himself in danger just to show me something.

Edward, like always, seems to know what I am thinking without me even having to say anything. He takes my hand away from my arm, brings it to his lips, and gives the top of it a soft kiss with his warm lips that sends tingles up and down my arm. He smiles at me before letting go of my hand and letting it swing back to my side. "Trust me, remember?" he asks.

I'm still in shock at the fact that he gave me a kiss to respond, so I just nod feebly. With that, Edward steps into the sunlight.

"Wow," I say immediately, seeing every other inch of Edward's skin light up and glow like he's…"You sparkle!"

"_Sparkle_?" Edward scoffs. "Bella, we do not sparkle. Our skin simply reflects the sun's rays."

I smile teasingly. "So in other words," I tap my chin as if I'm deep in thought, "you…_sparkle_." I do jazz hands at the word sparkle and Edward narrows his topaz eyes.

A low, guttural sound emits from Edward's chest and he growls softly, playfully. "Take it back."

I shake my head and he takes a threatening step forward. I yelp, turn around, and run full-speed away.

"Take it back!" Edward yells as he runs after me.

"Never!" I laugh loudly as I rip through the forest.

Edward's fast, the fastest in the family, but I'm a newborn and I got a head-start. Yeah, he has no chance. I lead him in a run, both of us laughing as Edward yells threats as to what he's going to do when he catches me and I taunt back that he never will catch me, making sure to throw in a few 'you sparkle!' to really get him fired up. I soon see that I have run in basically a big circle and I halt in confusion as I realize that I'm back to where we started.

Looking back, I see Edward gaining up on me. I glance at the meadow bathed in sunlight and back at Edward. With some hesitation, I step into the sunlight and run until I'm in the middle of the meadow. I look behind my shoulder and see that Edward has stopped at the edge of the meadow. Confused, I stop too and turn around.

"What?" I ask self-consciously as his topaz eyes bore intensely into me.

I glance down, afraid that I've caught some leaves on me, but I find instead that I'm, well, I'm sparkling. I extend my arm out to study my shimmery skin. It's like I'm covered in glitter. I nod in appreciation. Cool.

"Bella," Edward breathes. I look at him and see that he looks awed. "I mean, I thought the meadow was beautiful before, but now, it pales in comparison to you."

I shuffle my feet and look down shyly, yet I can still feel his piercing gaze. I glance up and my smile is so big it hurts. "Thanks," I whisper.

He grins back and I walk up to him. When I reach him, I take his hands in mine "Come on, sparkle with me."

Instead of responding to the word like I thought he would, Edward obediently follows the tug of my arm until we are both in the sunlight. We grin like fools at each other as I slowly walk backwards, tugging Edward along until we are standing in the middle of the meadow.

Edward lets go of my arm and lies down on the grass. His arms are out-stretched and he closes his eyes. I study him lying there with such a peaceful expression on his face and can't remember seeing anything more breath-taking. He's literally glowing.

Edward cracks one eye open and smiles softly when he sees me standing above him. "Whatcha doing up there? Lay down with me."

I nod before sitting down where his outstretched hand ends and I make a move to lie down.

"Hey," Edward stops me. "What are you doing over there, Miss Bella? Come here and lay your head here so that your hair doesn't get messed up. I don't want to face the wrath of Alice."

I grin and nod my head in agreement. I move over so that I'm lying right next to him and rest my head on his arm. He hums contentedly and my smile widens.

"So," I say after a few peaceful moments. "How did you find this place?"

"I was hunting one day about a year ago and I just found it by chance," he answers. "I've been coming here ever since. It's a great place to just come and think."

I nod in agreement. "So does your family know?"

Edward shakes his head. "No one knows. Well, except me and you. You're the first person I've shown it to."

I turn my body sideways so he can clearly see my grateful smile. "I'm touched, Edward. I'm glad you showed it to me."

"I'm glad I did, too," he says sincerely, grinning back at me. "I can't think of someone else I'd rather share it with."

I want to hug him, I really do, but instead I just touch his cheek briefly with my fingertips to show my appreciation. Then a crazy thought passes through my head: did Edward want to hug me whenever he touched _my_ cheek with his fingers? Quickly banishing this crazy, hopeless thought, I turn back around so that I can face the sun and sigh happily. "I love the sun, don't you?"

"Eh, I like it, but I wouldn't want to live in a sunny place," he replies.

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "Why not?"

"Because it'll be 100% sunshine all the time and I just wouldn't like that." I feel him shrug.

"I can see that," I agree slowly. "I mean, I'm appreciating the sun right now more than I did in Phoenix because, I don't know, it's more rewarding when you go through a whole winter without the sun, and then spring comes, and you finally feel the sunshine on your face. I guess if you live in a sunny place you take the sun for granted and you should never take anything for granted."

Edward nods in agreement. "Exactly, but some sun is always good. If you want we can talk to Carlisle about going to the island for a few weeks over the summer."

"But I thought we couldn't go out in the sunlight so how would we go to an island?"

"We can't go out in the sunlight because we reflect sunlight—"

"—we _sparkle_," I correct.

He ignores me. "And that would be highly suspicious if humans saw us like this, but we can go out in the sun if there are no humans to see."

"Edward," I say his name slowly, "you're not saying that you guys actually have a private_ island_, are you?"

"I am." I turn to face him incredulously and he laughs at my facial expression. "Carlisle brought Esme one for their anniversary."

"A private_ island_." I shake my head in disbelief.

Edward grins. "Speaking of sunshine and all that, yesterday Jasper went by Charlie's house to see if he could send your parents some good feelings, and he overheard them saying the Renee and Phillip are going back to Phoenix today."

I nod. "It's good that they stayed with Charlie for a few days after the ceremony."

"Yeah, they didn't want Charlie to be alone. But, um, Jasper also heard that Renee and Phillip are moving to Jacksonville," Edward adds somewhat nervously.

"They're _moving_?" I exclaim.

"Yeah," Edward swallows, looking like he thinks I'm about to break. "Phil got a job offer there."

I sigh heavily. "That's good, then," I say eventually.

"Good? So you're not…upset? I know you really loved the house you grew up in."

"I did, I do, but…it'll be good for my mom to get a fresh start at a new place," I say decidedly, biting my lip. "You know what Phillip and I used to do?" I change the subject suddenly and Edward graciously lets me.

"No, what?"

"Well, as humans, you can't really stare at the sun without tearing up. Phillip and I, though, used to have competitions to see who can stare at the sun the longest without looking away. My mom used to get so mad, saying that we were going to end up blind," I smile wistfully. "But now I can stare into the sun all I want without it hurting."

"Ah, yes, another vampire advantage," Edward says in mock-seriousness.

I laugh. "It's a very useful tool, Edward. One day, a man is going to hold you at gunpoint and say 'I will shoot you through the head if you can't stare at the sun for a whole minute' and then you will be so thankful."

"You're forgetting the fact that if someone held me at gunpoint, first off, I would easily be able to beat him off, second, even if I couldn't a bullet would not hurt me, and third, who would point a gun at me just to see if I could stare at the sun?"

"I don't know, some crazy person. And let's say you are standing in the middle of a crowded place and the guy holding you is this big, muscular man twice your size. Now, you can't beat him up and you can't dodge the bullet without it looking suspicious," I point out.

Edward shakes his head. "I imagine that if I'm standing in the middle of a big crowd, someone, upon seeing some crazy guy with a gun, would call the police."

"The police wouldn't come in time."

"I still don't see how this would ever happen."

"Anything's possible."

"The possibility of someone grabbing me and—"

"Anything's possible."

"Some things are more probable than others."

"I don't see why you can't just admit that I'm right and you're wrong."

"I don't see why you can't admit that this scenario would never happen and that being able to stare into the sun for an extended period is a useless tool."

"It is useful."

"How so?"

"I just told you. If someone held you at—"

"I'm talking about a_ plausible_ scenario which would require staring into the s—"

"I just told you. If someone—"

"And I told you that that is not likely to occu—"

"Anything's possible."

"Now you're just repeating things."

"Admit I'm right."

"This is a ridiculous conversation." And that's when we both explode with laughter because it _is_ ridiculous.

"So, Bella," Edward says after we've both calmed down, "what's your favorite color?"

"Now, see, you're changing the subject because I'm right."

He rolls his golden eyes. "We're not getting into this again. Just answer the question."

"I already told you my favorite color," I say, tuning sideways to face him.

"But you say it changes every day. So what is it today?"

"Blue," I answer after a moment of thinking.

"Blue?"

I nod and point towards the bright blue sky. "When's the last time you've seen a blue sky like that in Forks? It's usually so gray and blech."

"True," Edward agrees.

"What's your favorite color?" I ask him curiously.

He smiles and bends his arm that my head is resting on slightly so he can playfully tug on my hair. "Brown," he answers slyly.

I grin at him. "Edward," I warn as he starts to twirl a strand of hair around his finger.

"Yes?"

"What happened to not wanting to mess up my hair so you don't face Alice's wrath?"

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I answer honestly and then we both smile at each other.

So Edward plays gently with my hair as we both lay in the sunshine, staring up at the vast sky. Okay, okay, I spend some staring at Edward too, but can you blame me?

And it's nice that Edward is someone I can talk about serious stuff and someone who I can carry a ridiculous conversation with, but it's absolutely perfect how we don't need to talk. We can just lie down and silently and peacefully enjoy each other's company, and that's just what we did for the next hour.

"What?" Edward demands after I let out a loud growl. He tenses up and shifts his body so that I am behind him. "What is it?"

"Nothing," I reassure him. "I was just….that cloud is getting too close to the sun," I point at the sky where the sun is close to being covered by a huge, dark cloud.

Edward relaxes and lets out a warm, relieved chuckle. "I thought you heard something, but no, you're just growling at clouds." I elbow him lightly and he chuckles again. "You know," Edward squints at the sky, "the cloud kind of looks like a potato chip."

"What? No, it looks like a finger-nail," I disagree.

"No, that one looks like a finger-nail," Edward points towards at another cloud.

"Okay, you need glasses because that is clearly a puppy."

"A puppy? A _puppy?_ Bella, come on."

"What? It does. And that one," I point to the cloud next to it, "looks like a face. It's the puppy's owner," I say with certainty.

Edward scoffs, and the next twenty minutes is spent on us arguing about cloud-shapes. Soon, though, the clouds get darker and darker and eventually they cover the sun, and the sky is back to looking gray. It's clear that it's going to rain soon.

"It's going to rain," Edward vocalizes my thoughts as thunder rumbles overhead.

"The sun was nice while it lasted," I sigh as I stand up and help Edward up. Just then the rain comes pouring down. I laugh and lift my head towards the sky so that the rain hits my face.

"Bella, let's head back home," Edward suggests.

I spin around a few more times, letting the rain soak my body before I agree. Edward and I sprint through the forest, laughing and racing home.

"First!" I call as I hop onto the front porch.

"Nope," Edward races past me and touches the front door. "The front door is the finish line."

"You're like Emmett. You just make up rules," I accuse.

"Bella, the finish line has always been the front door. Just because you lost—"

"Whatever, Edward," I smile, not wanting to get into it. "Thanks for showing me…you know."

Edward grins. "No problem, Bella. It was my pleasure." He puts a hand on the doorknob. "Ready to go inside?"

I bite my lip. He looks so wonderful with his hair dark and matted to his forehead from the rain and his soaked clothes clinging to his body. Truthfully, I don't want our day together to end, but I nod for him to open the door.

"Where did you crazy kids go?" Jasper asks as Edward and I join everyone in the living room.

I make a move to sit on the couch but Esme makes a strangled sound, not wanting me to sit on her couches if I'm wet. I smile and stand. "Edward showed me that we sparkle in the sun."

"_Sparkle_?" Emmett and Jasper scoff.

Carlisle looks horrified. "Bella, I hope you understand that our skin simply reflects—"

I wave my head dismissively as Rose, Esme, and Alice roll their eyes. "I already heard it." Edward and I smile secretly at each other. "Well, I need to put this in water," I gesture to my bouquet that I've been clutching in my hand ever since Edward gave it to me, "and then I'm off to take a shower."

"Oh, dearie, I'll take care of your flowers," Esme offers, "you can just go on upstairs and take that shower."

"Thanks, Esme." I smile and hand her the bouquet.

"Oh, come now, Esme." Carlisle grins teasingly at his wife. "We all know you are just offering so you can get Bella out of here before she drips any more water on your _precious_ carpet."

"Nonsense," Esme says innocently, smiling.

Edward laughs. "Well, then, I better go, too."

Esme breathes an exaggerated sigh of relief at that. We all laugh and then Edward and I walk up the stairs together. We land on the third floor and I make a move to go to my bedroom, but Edward stops me.

"Hey, tomorrow, do you want to go back to our place?" he asks, his topaz eyes eager.

I smile and nod, trying and failing to not look too excited. He grins back before waving at me and walking into his room.

I walk into my own room with a skip in my step because Edward and I have a 'our place' now.

* * *

**Alright, there it is! This chapter did not turn out like it was supposed to. It was supposed to be just about some more training exercises, but I decided that since most people are anxious for some ExB interaction, and the last the couple of chapters have been so sad, that this fluffy, lighthearted chapter would be nice. The next chapter, though, is going to involve some more training and Charlie will come up and there will be an E and B moment, so REVIEW to get a sneak preview!**

**Thanks For Reading! **

**Review :) **

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	16. Throwing Up and I Love You

**Hey guys! Thanks to all who reviewed for taking the time to leave your comments—I appreciated them :) And now finally, here is chapter 16! I think you'll like it, especially the ending. So enjoy! **

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_"Love is one of the hardest words to say and one of the easiest to hear." _Unknown

* * *

**Monday, May 5th 4:15 P.M. **_(One Week Later)_

"Bella, stop pacing around, sweetie," Esme's musical voice commands gently.

I sigh as I listen and walk toward the living room window that looks out into the driveway.

"And stop starting out the window," she adds, sounding amused.

I swiftly turn to face her. "Aren't you worried? At least a little bit?" I demand.

"Of course not, Bella," she replies, coming to stand next to me. She puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "They're only a little late."

"45 minutes late," I correct, gnawing on my lip.

She laughs, but stops when I shoot a sharp look at her. "Oh, sweetie, they're grown-ups. They can take care of themselves."

I sigh, knowing she's right.

Spring Break is unfortunately over. It was a fantastic week. We watched tons of movies and played games and hunted daily. Edward and I especially spent a lot of time together. Every day, rain or shine (mostly rain), we spent hours in the meadow, sometimes talking, sometimes just being together. Yeah, it was a perfect week, but now it's back to normal and they're back to school. I was so used to spending most of the day with Edward that going back to being separated for eight hours hit me harder than I thought it would. And now they're forty-five minutes late. They're _never_ late. Edward's always speeding into the driveway at exactly 3:30.

"What if they got in an accident or something?" I ask, staring anxiously out the window, but seeing nothing but rain hitting the empty driveway.

"I doubt they did, sweetie. Edward is a fantastic driver." I look skeptically at her. Edward has been prone to speed and run red lights. She smiles as she amends herself, "Well, he has great reflexes and can read other driver's thoughts. And even if they did get in an accident, they would be fine. They're vampires. We're indestructible."

I nod in agreement, though I'm still not completely reassured. I wouldn't be until I see all of them safe and sound. Esme, studying my face with gentle eyes, runs a pale hand through my hair. "Okay, let me go call them. Will that make you feel better?" I nod, even though we both know that she has called them multiple times and they haven't answered. With a last pat on the back, Esme leaves the room and I go back to pacing up and down the living room.

_5 Minutes Later_

I breathe a sigh of relief as I finally see that silver Volvo speed into the driveway. In a blink of an eye, I am standing on the front porch with Esme right behind me. My stomach drops when I see that instead of Edward driving, it's Jasper at the driver's seat with only Emmett in the passenger seat. They get out of the car and before they can say anything, I'm standing right in front of Jasper with my hands on my hips. "Where's Edward?" I demand.

"And Alice and Rose," Esme calls from the porch.

"Wow, Jazz, I'm hurt." Emmett pouts playfully. "Where's our greeting?"

"No 'Hey, Jazz, how was school?'" Jasper questions, leaning against the car.

"Or 'What's up, Emmett? I hope your day was swell.'"

"Or 'Wow Jasper, you're looking incredibly handsome'"

"Or 'Emmett, you've been gone for so long and I've missed your incredible presence so much that I've been crying since the moment you left.'"

Esme and I share an amused look and then laugh. Then she hugs Emmett and I hug Jasper.

"Of course we've missed you," Esme tells Emmett sweetly.

"And I do hope your day was swell, Jazzy." I grin. "I don't know how you guys do it, but you always make me laugh when I'm worried."

"What are you so worried about, sis?" Emmett asks in concern.

"Well, first you guys were late and now I don't know where everyone else is," I answer.

"Hunting. They went as soon as school let out," Jasper answers simply, shrugging.

"Well, when are they coming back?" I question hurriedly.

This time it's Emmett who shrugs. "They should be here by now, actually."

I widen my eyes. "They should? Do you think something has happ—"

"No, Bella." Esme moves quickly to stand right next to me. "Nothing has happened to them. They're probably just out getting some good game."

I nod, feeling silly and embarrassed. "Right, you're right, I shouldn't worry."

Esme smiles soothingly. "Don't worry, honey, I can't but to worry sometimes, too."

"Women," Emmett rolls his teasing, golden eyes as he walks to the back of the car.

"Oh, please," Jasper responds, following Emmett. "The whole car ride here you were all 'I wonder what Rosie is doing' and 'Do you think Rosie will be home by now?' It was _so_ annoying."

Emmett snorts. "Stop lying or I'll start telling everyone about how you were groaning about Alice being detached from your lonely hip."

Jasper rolls his eyes. "Now who's lying?"

"Still you," Emmett grins.

"Alright," I butt in before Jasper can respond. "What took you guys so long to get here?"

Emmett smiles and gestures me over as Jasper easily opens the trunk. "Come see."

Esme and I curiously walk behind the car and lean over to see the trunk filled with plastic bags. "You got groceries?" I question, confused.

They nod proudly. "We went shopping all by ourselves," Jasper boasts.

"Aww, my big boys are growing up so fast," Esme coos playfully, pinching Emmett's cheek.

"Ow, Esme, not so hard," Emmett winches.

Esme smiles and pats his cheek in apology. "But that's what you get for not calling us."

"Sorry, Esme," Jasper says sincerely. "Emmett stupidly left his phone at home."

"Hey," Emmett protests. "Your phone is the one that died."

"Alright children," Esme shakes her head, "let's just get these bags in."

"Uh uh, ladies, we can handle this." Emmett flexes his muscles as he bends down to grab a handful of bags. "Leave it to us manly men."

"Ooh," I whistle, "look how strong they are, Esme," I say in amusement as Jasper grabs the rest of the bags. "They're carrying plastic bags."

Emmett scowls playfully at me. "Shush, sis, and close that trunk."

"Nah," Jasper disagrees as Emmett and he walk up the driveway. "Leave it open. I would love to see Edward freak about the rain soaking the interior of his precious car's trunk." They both laugh at the image as they enter the house.

I smile at the thought of his horrified face for a second, too, before closing the trunk. Esme gives me a knowing look. "What? I don't want him getting mad." I shrug as I also bend down to pick away a wet leaf that is stuck to the side of his car. She continues giving me that knowing look before smiling and turning away to follow Emmett and Jasper. I hurry after her, eager to see what vampires were going to do with a bag of groceries.

oOo

Emmett and Jasper set the bags on the kitchen counter. "So…" I peer into one of the bags and see that it is filled with red peppers. "What's all this?"

Jasper looks insulted. "Don't you remember? We agreed that once spring break was over, we would start training again."

I grimace. "Okay…but what does that have to do with peppers?"

Jasper sighs. "Were you not listening to the exercises that I explained in great detail? We're going to practice your speed. You are going to have to cut up all these bags full of vegetables and fruits until they are tiny pieces, and you'll do this at human speed."

"Alright," I agree, shrugging. Truthfully, I'm not that worried. I've cooked hundreds of times before.

"Okay, let's just get a knife, and then we can get starte-" Emmett never finishes his sentence because as Emmett opens the drawer with too much force, the whole kitchen drawer makes a crash as it hits the ground.

Jasper, Emmett, and I immediately turn to look anxiously at Esme. She closes her eyes and takes a deep, calming breath. "That," she says softly, "is not even the utensil drawer."

"Oh," Emmett says sheepishly.

"It's the third one on your left," Esme instructs. She quickly opens her eyes then. "Never mind, _I'll_ do it." She moves to open the drawer, pulls out a kitchen knife, and then opens another drawer. "You're going to need a cutting board," she explains as she places the items on the counter.

"Thanks, Esme, and sorry—" Emmett starts to say before Esme stops him with a raised palm.

"Save it for Carlisle. He has much more patience than me."

"Aw, but Esme, you know you're the nice parent." Emmett grins charmingly, showing her his dimples.

Esme grins as she tucks a caramel hair strand behind her hair. "Nice try, maybe it'll work on Carlisle."

"Maybe it will. We all know that Carlisle is the more understanding parent anywho, don't we guys?" Emmett turns to us for support.

Jasper and I smile as we begin unpacking the bags and don't answer. Esme laughs. "Well, I'm off kids. Make sure there's no mess left in here and, Emmett, don't break anything else."

Emmett straightens his back and salutes her. She shakes her head in amusement before leaving.

Once she's gone Emmett turns to us and rubs his hands in excitement. "Alright. Let's do this!"

_One Hour Later_

"Holy crap, Esme is going to freak," Emmett whistles as he surveys the room.

I follow his gaze and see the kitchen counter filled with tiny pieces of red peppers, bananas, oranges, pears, tomato, carrots, asparagus, celery, apples, mango, broccoli, and every other vegetable and fruit you can think of.

"I don't know, it looks kinda pretty," I say in appreciation, looking at all the different shades of colors.

"Yeah, well, I gotta thank you, sis." Emmett claps me on the back.

"For what?" I cock my head to the side, turning to face him.

"How can Carlisle be mad at me for breaking a drawer when you destroyed three knives and two cutting boards?" Emmett questions, leaning happily against the kitchen counter.

I grimace. Yeah, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. It took a while for me to get everything just right. I had to control my grip on my knife and the force at which I cut the fruit; plus, the whole time I also had to be cautious of how fast I was cutting. It took an hour of Emmett and Jasper repeatedly telling me I was going too fast or too slow for me to get it just right. Of course, as Jasper said a minute ago, there is still 'room for some improvement, but we can work on that later.'

"Actually," I correct Emmett, "Carlisle and Esme are not going to be mad at either of us."

"How do you figure?" Jasper now asks from his sitting spot on top of the counter.

"Well," I grin mischievously, "they're just going to blame it on you, Jasper, since the whole thing was your idea."

Jasper widens his eyes as he sees the truth in this. He looks anxiously around the room. "Alright, we _need_ to get rid of all this stuff."

I raise a dubious eyebrow. "And how are we going to do that?"

Emmett shrugs his broad shoulders. "Eat the stuff?" he suggests with a laugh.

I look curiously at the pile of food. "Can vampires eat human food?"

Jasper grins. "Sure we can. Go on, try it."

My interest piqued, I pick up an apple that hasn't been cut up and sniff it. It smells earthy and fresh, and surprisingly it doesn't smell bad, but it doesn't exactly smell appetizing either. I cautiously take a lick and ignore the loud laughs from Jasper and Emmett as I do so. It doesn't taste disgusting; it just feels wet, so I take a rather huge bite.

I chew it easily and it's tasteless and bland, but when I try to swallow, I meet resistance. My throat doesn't want to accept the piece. I frown and swallow more forcibly, pushing the pieces down my throat. I feel the apple travel down my body until it rests uncomfortably in my stomach.

Immediately, I want to throw it back out. It doesn't feel natural in my body. I'm just about to tell Jasper and Emmett that something is wrong when, just then, we all hear the front door slam open and just as instantly, Alice, Edward, and Rose are standing in the kitchen.

Alice's and Rose's sudden appearances sharply cut off Jasper's and Emmett's laughing as their glares pierce into their respective husbands. Edward has all eyes on me as he puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him.

"Are you okay?" His honestly concerned question confuses me even further and it doesn't help my state of mind when I'm standing this close to him. Ah, I've missed him so much.

"I-wha-?" God, he smells so good. Oh wait, what did he ask? "Oh, I-I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just ate human food," Edward presses urgently. "When Alice had the vision, we picked up our speed and got here as soon as possible."

"But why?" I question, tilting my head upwards so I can see his beautiful face still pinched in worry.

"You feel okay?" He furrows his eyebrows like he thinks I'm lying.

He places a hesitant hand on my stomach and my breath catches. I don't know why, but his warm hand pressing against my stomach feels so intimate. Sparks fly all throughout my body and then my stomach clenches, yet the clenching has nothing to do with Edward.

I just got that feeling, that feeling that tells you that you are going to throw up. Covering my mouth with one hand, I zip up the stairs and run to the nearest bathroom. I drop to my knees in front of the closed toilet. A hand that is not my own reaches over to lift up the lid.

I sigh as my eyes follow the hand, up the toned arm, to the sight of Edward's face. Before I can say anything, my stomach whirls, and I lean my head over the toilet and gag. Nothing comes out and I resort to just dry-gagging.

"That's right, Bella, just let it out. It'll feel better soon, I promise," Edward soothes, patting my back gently.

"Leave," I manage to choke out.

"What?" I hear the hurt in his voice and it kills me, but not enough to stop me from saying it again.

"Leave, please," I say quickly, urgently as another gag wrecks my body.

I hate that he's seeing me like this. On my knees on the bathroom floor with my head buried into a toilet and hacking violently is certainly not the most attractive pose.

"No," he answers simply, stubbornly. I groan loudly and try pushing him away with one hand. He catches the hand in his own and gives it a soft squeeze before letting go of it. "I'm not going, Bella."

"But this is so embarrassing," I murmur, not looking into his caring eyes.

I hear him scoff. "Nonsense. I'm not leaving you, Bella, and I never will."

Another fierce gag is my response and he gently gathers all my hair and holds it back away from my mouth. It's a sweet gesture that I appreciate even though it's not needed since nothing is coming out of my mouth.

"Thanks," I mumble from the corner of my mouth.

"You're welcome, but no more talking. Don't waste your energy," he orders softly. I nod in agreement and go back to my pathetic gags.

A minute later, there is a knock on the door and I turn my face to the side to see Emmett and Jasper poke their heads in.

A loud growl rips through Edward's chest, and I'm surprised because this is nothing like the soft or playful growls I've heard him give off before. It's a furious growl, warning them not to come a step closer to me. I shiver, not because I'm scared, but because I strangely find his feral growl…sexy?

Edward, thinking that he did scare me, rubs my back soothing, which just makes me shiver even more.

"What do you guys want?" he demands.

"We just want to say we're sorry," Jasper says sincerely and Emmett nods in agreement, both their expressions contrite.

"Well, apology not accepted," Edward says seriously.

Emmett narrows his eyes. "We weren't apologizing to you, we were apologizing to Bella."

I groan suddenly as my stomach contracts again and I turn my face back to the toilet.

"As you can see," I distantly hear Edward respond. "She can't really respond right now, seeing as _some_ people let her eat human food for _some_ illogical reason."

"And _some_one," Emmett mocks, "is being an ass."

And so it goes. They continue arguing and I continue gagging, until finally, after one last powerful hack, a piece of apple flies out of my mouth and lands with a plop in the toilet. Instantly, I feel my body relax. Exhausted and relieved, I lay my head on the toilet seat.

"You guys," I say, my voice hoarse. "I'm fine now."

At this, they stop mid-argument and Edward gently moves some hair away from my face. He smiles when I do, seeing that I am indeed fine. "Okay, well, we should go downstairs. Everyone is worried sick."

I nod, agreeing with him. "Okay."

He helps me up, and once I'm on my feet, he puts and arm around me tightly yet still touching me like I'm fragile. He seems to think that I'm incapable of standing upright without support. Deciding to take advantage of this, I lean into his side and rest my head on his shoulder, hiding my huge smile.

As we walk past Jasper and Emmett, Edward glares at them while I give them a sympathetic look, knowing how horrible it is to be on Edward's bad side. I was there through the first month of my arrival, and I can't even stand the thought of going back to how it was before.

They both grin at me, happy to see that I'm not angry with them. After letting us pass, they follow behind as we go down the stairs.

oOo

After reassuring Alice, Esme, and Carlisle dozens of times that I am feeling perfectly fine, we finally sit down on the couches of the living room.

"Don't worry, Bella, it gets better after the first time," Alice reassures from the seat next to me.

I furrow my eyebrows. "The first time? As in, this isn't going to be the only time?"

Jasper shakes his head. "Unfortunately, humans get suspicious if one never eats."

"And since we go to school, we need to make it look like we actually eat lunch," Edward adds.

"Usually," Emmett says, "we can get away with just moving the food around the plate and hiding some of it in a napkin, but sometimes we need to take a few bites to make it convincing."

"Yeah, we learned that after the Nurse Chou scenario." Jasper smiles fondly at Alice.

"What happened?" I lean in, smiling. I love hearing the Cullen's stories.

"Well, this was back when I was beginning the first year of school as a vampire, and I just didn't want to eat," Alice begins.

"I believe your words were 'I can't eat. What if the throw-up ends up on my priceless clothes?'" Emmett laughs.

Alice shrugs and smiles, not ashamed. "And so, I guess one of the students was concerned about me having eating problems and told the nurse."

"I got a call later that day," Esme takes over, grinning, "telling me that my daughter might be anorexic."

I look at Alice and laugh. With such a petite body and thin waist, it's wouldn't be that hard to think she might have an eating problem. "And what did you say?"

"Well, I told the nurse that Alice always ate at home and that she just didn't like the school lunches," Esme answers.

"Of course," Carlisle adds, "the nurse was dubious. She called me right afterwards and basically told me that as a doctor, I should have known that my daughter was self-conscious about her weight." He laughs. "I didn't know what to tell her, so I just promised I'll keep a look out on her."

"And for the rest of the year, I was forced to eat that disgusting rubbish humans called food," Alice shudders.

Edward smiles. "And do you remember that time when she didn't get to the toilet in time and she bent over and threw up, getting some chewed-up pizza on her hundred dollar heels?"

Rose laughs. "She wanted to kill the poor nurse."

Jasper grins as he kisses the top of Alice's innocent expression. "So, moral of the story, you're gonna have to eat sometimes," he grimaces. "Unfortunately, it's part of the job description of being a vegetarian."

"But, like Alice said, Bella," Carlisle hurries to assure at the sight of my hesitant facial expression, "after the first time, you get used to it and it can be hours until you feel the need to throw the food back up."

"And it usually doesn't take as long to actually get the food out instead of gagging for minutes beforehand like you did," Alice adds.

"Which reminds me," Rose raises a thinly-arched eyebrow, "why exactly did you bite into an apple?"

"Why don't you ask Emmett and Jasper?" Edward retorts, glaring at the two.

"Why don't you let Bella talk for herself?" Emmett shoots back, his voice hard.

"Kids," Esme admonishes in a warning tone.

"Well," Carlisle puts a hand on his wife's shoulder, "perhaps Edward is right, my dear. Emmett and Jasper certainly have some explaining to do."

"We didn't mean for it to happen." Jasper shrugs helplessly when all eyes turn to him and Emmett. "I was joking when I said we could eat food. I was just about to say 'just kidding' when she picked up an apple."

"Then she started sniffing it and the sight was so funny that Jasper and I just stared laughing," Emmett adds.

"And then," Jasper continues, "she _licks_ the apple, which is when we really start laughing. We were bent over on our knees, so we didn't see her when she took a bite of the apple. By then, it was too late and then you guys arrived."

"Sorry Bella," Emmett says sincerely.

"You already said so, Emmett," I grin, "and I already forgave you guys. I mean, it's not like you guys did it on purpose, and plus, nothing bad really happened. I just gagged for a while." I shrug. "And to go back to Rose's question, I really didn't know we couldn't eat human food. No one ever told me. Of course, I did sniff and lick the apple because I didn't quite believe Jasper when he said that we could eat food. When it didn't smell or taste bad, I assumed that the reason we didn't eat human food was because we didn't like it, not because our bodies couldn't digest it. So I figured that if we could get rid of the food by eating it, well then, why not?"

"Speaking of the food in the kitchen, that needs to be cleaned immediately," Esme states firmly, getting up from her seat. "Come on, let's go. Everybody now." Everyone groans as she starts shooing us toward the kitchen. "Yes, you too, Carlisle," Esme calls as Carlisle starts to walk toward the stairs.

"But honey," Carlisle protests, "I've got work to do."

"Yeah, me too," Emmett agrees. Rose elbows him as Esme rolls her eyes and gives him a push toward the kitchen.

"Ouch, you women are violet," Emmett mutters under his breath.

Esme ignores him. "Carlisle, you can do your work later. You are going to spend some quality time with this family."

"Can't we spend some quality time together doing something else, like, I don't know, taking a vacation?" Jasper asks hopefully.

"Hush, Jasper, this is your entire fault anyhow," Esme tells him sternly.

"Ha!" I point a finger at Jasper's sulking expression. "I told you she would be mad at you."

"I'm mad at all three of you," Emse corrects. "How long did I spend picking out those appliances that you've broken?"

"We can go shopping for new ones this weekend," Alice offers enthusiastically.

"You're always looking for opportunities to shop, huh, Al?" Edward questions in amusement. "Even if it's for boring kitchen appliances."

"Boring?" Esme sounds offended.

Rose sighs. "Alright, can we stop talking and just get this over with? And I swear, Jasper, if I break a nail, I'm going to kill you."

"Hey," Jasper protests. "Everyone needs to stop blaming me."

"Fine," Rose rolls her eyes, "I'll blame the one who made the mess." She glances at me.

"Oh, no you will not," Edward responds, glaring at Rose.

"Alright," Esme steps between the two, "Rose is right. Let's get this over with."

"But Esme, where is Carlisle?" Emmett questions, smirking, already knowing the answer.

Esme sighs. "Carlisle! Get out of that office!"

_A Week Later_

"Ew," Emmett grumbles as he and Jasper walk through the front door and the rest of us gather around to greet them. "We just saw old people kissing." He shivers.

Carlisle laughs and plants a chaste kiss on Esme's smiling lips. "What did you say about old people kissing?"

Emmett gives him an exaggerated disgusted look. "Well, you guys don't look old, so it's not as gross. But still, ew, parents kissing," he wrinkles his nose and we all laugh.

"Wait, but who did you see kissing?" I tug eagerly on Emmett's sleeve to get his attention.

"Charlie and that girl of his," he answers, still looking grossed out.

Alice and I squeal happily at the same time. We join hands and start jumping up and down in excitement. Then we start laughing at how silly we must look, but I don't really care. This is _huge_.

"Calm down, ladies," Jasper says, grinning as he puts an arm around Alice. "Emmett is exaggerating as always. He just gave Sue a little peck on the cheek."

I deflate for a second, but then smile anyway. "Still! That's a lot coming from Charlie."

"That's right, Bella," Edward smiles reassuringly at me. "Sue lost her husband and Charlie lost you. They're probably really confused and feeling guilty about their feelings. Their relationship is going to develop really slowly."

Everyone nods in agreement and I grin, reassured. "Alright, well, Esme are you going to go tomorrow to drop off the food?"

See, ever since the beginning of spring break, the Cullens have made trips to see Charlie. Sometimes it's in secret, just to check in with him to see how he's doing, or sometimes the Cullens go in and talk to him. Alice and Emmett usually go for two hours on the weekend where Emmett just sits and watches a game with Charlie and Alice cleans the house despite Charlie's protests. Jasper goes almost every day, just for five to ten minutes to give Charlie some good feelings. Sometimes it's Alice who goes with him, but, surprisingly, Rose is the one who joins Jasper's secret missions most of the time. Edward doesn't go that frequently. He stays with me because he is the only one who can distract me from thoughts of going to see Charlie myself. Carlisle goes maybe once every two weeks where he really talks to Charlie about how he is doing. Esme and I, well, we found a new hobby.

Ever since last week when Esme, Alice, and Rose went shopping for the kitchen appliances that I broke and came back with pots and pans and cooking books, Esme and I have immersed ourselves in the art of cooking. When the other Cullens are off at school and work and after we've finished wiping down the house, we indulge ourselves in our guilty pleasure.

We blast some music and dance around the kitchen as we figure out how to cook. Esme has forgotten how to cook since the last time she did so was decades ago and I know how to cook, but it was hard since I couldn't taste test the food. Plus, Esme and I love to make challenging dishes, stuff that I did not cook when I was human.

So we just pour over the cooking books, chose a good-looking dish, and follow the directions as closely as we can. We rely on our sense of smell mostly. We can tell with just one sniff if something is too garlicky or if a piece of fruit isn't fresh enough. Sometimes we take a chance and add stuff to the recipe or drift from what the recipe calls for. We don't know if the food is good since we can't taste it, but from what the Cullens have seen, Charlie enjoys the food and often shares some with his La Push friends.

Esme and I now love to cook and our newfound passion has led to teasing from the other Cullens, but no one can deny it's a win win for everyone. The Cullens are happy because with this increase of shopping in the grocery store and the food-visits to Charlie no human can get suspicious of our lack of eating. It also helps Carlisle, Edward, Rose, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett to know that we aren't bored back at home while they're at school/work. Esme loves to cook for someone again and is especially happy when she takes the leftovers to the soup kitchens around Seattle. Jasper is pleased that I'm getting so much practice with my speed and strength. And I'm ecstatic because I know that Charlie isn't living off of pizza boxes and beer anymore and it's just the best feeling in the world to know that I'm cooking for my daddy again.

"Yes, sweetie," Esme brings me back to the present by answering my question.

I smile. "Thank you." Then I turn to Emmett and Jasper and flash them both a grateful look. I first hug Jasper tightly. "Thanks for going to see Charlie for me, Jazz. I love you."

"Love you, too, Bella, but when are you going to stop thanking me?" he asks, grinning.

He's right. I thank him constantly for what he is doing. I know how hard it must be to feel Charlie's emotions every day and I'm so grateful that he's doing this for me.

"When you stop being so darn nice," I respond, pulling away to give Emmett his hug. He lifts me off the ground and gives me a bear hug. I laugh as he puts me back down none too gently. "Love you, too, Emmy."

He grins and ruffles my hair. I'm about to thank him when I feel Edward tug on my arm. "Come on, Bella, let's get back to the chess game we were playing before _they_ interrupted." He stares coldly at Emmett and Jasper with a sour expression.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Ever since the throwing-up incident, Edward has not been on good terms with his brothers. I asked him why he hasn't forgiven them yet, and he says it's because he thinks that I forgave them too easily and that someone had to stand up for me, but I think they are fighting for a different reason, a reason that, annoyingly, no one will tell me about.

"And after you beat Edward, _you and I_ can go hunting together," Emmett replies, smirking at Edward.

I sigh in confusion before just letting it go, giving a nod to Emmett, ignoring Edward's darkening look, and following him back to the living room. We sit down at the chess table and continue playing in a tense silence. Not being able to take it anymore, I put down the pawn I am moving and study Edward. He is still sulking and I just don't understand what's wrong with him. I hate seeing him sad like this.

Deciding to take action, I stand up. Edward looks up at me in confusion, but I don't say anything. I offer him my hand and after staring moodily at it for a second, Edward takes it and stands up. Silently, I lead him out to the front porch. It's dark outside, but the full-moon provides us with some light and, luckily, it's not raining and there are no rain clouds in sight.

"Do you want to go now?" Edward asks.

I smile, realizing that he knows where I want to go without me having to say anything.

"Please," I say quietly.

He studies me intently before nodding his head. Then together we run through the dark forest until we are standing in the middle of the meadow. I can hear frogs croaking and bugs crawling and crickets cricketing, but I block the forest sounds out and focus on Edward. The moon is directly above us, and with no trees to over us, the moonlight bathes us, illuminating Edward's lean, beautiful figure. He's staring at the ground, so I can't read his facial expression, but from his hunched up shoulders and shuffling feet, I still know that he's upset.

"Edward," I question softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he shrugs and shuffles his feet some more.

I frown and turn to look at the trees. I bite my lip in thought. I can't help him if he doesn't tell me what's wrong, and I want to help him so badly, just like he's always helped me. "Edward," I say softly, getting an idea. "I can tell you anything right?" I make my voice sound vulnerable as to pique his interest.

Edward finally looks up at me, surprised by my question. "Of course Bella." he reassures.

I smile, triumphant now that I have his full attention. "Why? Why can I tell you anything?" I ask him seriously.

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Edward reaches out and takes one of my hands in his. "Because I wouldn't repeat anything you say to anyone and I'll always try to help you with whatever is bothering you. You know that."

"I know," I bite my lip again, "what I don't know, however, is why you don't trust me to do the same. Don't you know you can tell me anything, too?"

Edward expression turns soft as he gets what I'm saying. He studies my face for a few seconds as he rubs circles on my palm with his thumb.

Finally, he sighs. "You're right. I can't expect you to tell me everything if I don't tell you everything in return." I nod in agreement. "But this is just hard for me to say."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I reassure after a moment of silence. I want to know what's bothering him, but at the same time I don't want to make him uncomfortable or force him to do something he doesn't want to do.

"I know why you brought me here, Bella," he says unexpectantly, seeming to not have heard what I had said. "It's because after the first week of taking you here day after day I told you that we should always be honest with each other here, that this was our place where we could just be ourselves. Do you remember?"

I smile and nod. "And I know this is one of your favorite places to be. I wanted to make you comfortable so that you would tell me what was bothering you."

Edward sighs. "I want to be honest with you, Bella, I really do." He runs a hand through his hair. "But this is just so embarrassing." He averts his eyes away from me again.

Now extremely curious, I just wait for him to return his gaze to me. When he does, I see how nervous he is. Just when I'm about to repeat that he doesn't have to tell me anything, he speaks, his voice soft and hurried and oh so vulnerable.

"You uh told Emmett and Jasper that you love them," he mumbles, looking at the ground.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Yeah, I did…and?" I question, not seeing how this had to do with anything. He mumbles something else, but it's spoken so quietly that even my vampire ears can't pick out the words he is saying. "Come again?"

He takes a big breath and runs a nervous hand through his bronze hair. "Well, it's just that you've never told _me_ that you love me." He gazes shyly up at me. My heart melts.

I've never seen Edward shy before. He's usually the confident one and I'm the one that's always embarrassed and insecure. Now his eyes are so bright and warm with his expression so adorably timid. And it's true. I never told him that I loved him because I love him in a way that's wholly different than the way I love the rest of the Cullens.

I'm afraid that if I did tell him that I love him, he would no doubt see the devotion in my expression and the utter sincerity in my voice that he would instantly know the truth. But the last thing I want is for him to think that I don't care about him, because I do, oh, how I do.

I take both of his hands and place them between mine. "Edward," I whisper, nervous but determined to reassure him. He cocks his head to the side hopefully and leans in. "You're my best friend. I owe so much of my happiness to you. I just…I don't even know what would have happened to me if you weren't in my life. I-I-I," I bite my lip and draw strength from his piercing, loving gaze. "I love you, Edward," I whisper, hoping that by whispering—instead of yelling it to the heavens like I wanted to—he won't see how much I do indeed love him.

Edward smiles hugely and beams at me. "You do?" His eyes widen happily.

I nod and giggle at his excitement. "Yes, of course. I hate that I made you think differently." In fact, I'm so surprised that he hasn't known all along. Maybe my crush on him isn't as obvious as I previously imagined. I breathe out in relief at that thought.

He shrugs, still grinning. "I mean, I know you care for me, but you just always told Emmett and Jasper and everyone else that you love them, but you never once said it to me, so I got to thinking that maybe you don't l-love m-me." His facial expression contorts like the very thought pains him.

"I thought you knew," I explain guiltily, "Come on, Edward, you have to know that you're my number one." I nudge him playfully.

He gives me a big smile. "Hearing that makes me so happy, Bella, so so happy."

"Good…so?" I start playing with his fingers and look at him expectantly.

"So what?" he asks innocently, a teasing glint in his eyes. Ah, there's the confident Edward I know and love so dearly.

"Well," I pout as I flutter my eyelashes playfully, "don't you love me, Edward?" I question. "You've never told me before either."

And just like that all the playfulness disappears from Edward's expression and is replaced with a serious expression. I gasp in surprise as he gently cups my face in his hands and stares intently and seriously at me.

"I love you, Bella," he says firmly, his eyes burning with sincerity. My heart flutters and I stop breathing. I know he doesn't mean it the way I do, but still, no statement has ever filled me with such joy. "Of course I do. I mean, you talk about how I've made you happy, but," he chuckles a little and shakes his head, "you don't even know how happy you've made me. You've completely changed my life. You're my number one, too, and, god, Bella, you're _my _best friend," he pauses suddenly and looks more deeply at me. I gaze back at him, still not breathing, still hoping that this is not a dream.

"Actually," he abruptly says as he tears his gaze from me, focuses on the ground, and drops his hands from my face. "I can't do this anymore."

I furrow my eyebrows in extreme confusion. "Can't do what anymore?"

He looks back at me, his gaze so intense that my breath catches at the sight of those brilliant topaz eyes. "I can't keep on lying to you. You're not just my best friend, Bella, you're so much more. It's time that I tell you that I love you as more than just a friend."

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**I know, I know, I haven't updated in over a month. I'm really sorry about that, but believe me this has been a crazy, hectic month. And I do have some good news. Well, bad news for me, good for you. I sprained my ankle so I'm out of track season, which means no more all day track meets on Saturdays and practices until six. So I'll have much more free time and plus, summer is coming soon! And I do know I left it a cliff hanger, but I'll update as quickly as possible. Next chapter is Bella's reaction and…well, I'm not going to spoil it, but REVIEW and I'll send a sneak preview. Oh and to those who review and don't get a preview, I'm sorry, I'm not ignoring you on purpose. Sometimes I miss reviews or fanfiction doesn't send them to my email account. I PM replies last chapter so hopefully I didn't miss anyone this time. **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review! **

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	17. Finally There is Love

**Hey! Chapter 17 is here and I know you guys are excited for this one! Last chapter was the most reviewed chapter of all! So thank you, thank you, thank you to those who reviewed :) And no, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to any of the reviews. I was going to send out sneak previews, but today is my only non-busy day for the next two weeks, so I figured I could send a snippet today and update a week from now, or just update the whole thing now, which I think you guys would prefer. But I do appreciate every review I got! Now enjoy! **

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_"When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever." _Unknown

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Previously:_ He looks back at me, his gaze so intense that my breath catches at the sight of those brilliant topaz eyes. "I can't keep on lying to you. You're not just my best friend, Bella, you're so much more. It's time that I tell you that I love you as more than just your friend." _

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**Sunday, May 12th 10:15 P.M**

The world stops turning. "W-w-what?" my stun voice asks. He did not just say what I think he did.

Edward doesn't waver, determined as ever. "I love you," he repeats softly, sincerely, his voice silk velvet. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he says over and over again, his voice getting quieter and sweeter each time.

He smiles crookedly at me, the moonlight illuminating his precious, loving face, making him look like an angel. And my brain just can't process that this beautiful creature really loves _me_. I can't talk, I can't respond, I can only stare incredulously at him, my breath caught and my undead heart feeling like it's about to burst with happiness, with love. "Oh, how I love you, my dear Bella," he whispers in a sigh, lifting his hand up like he wants to place it on my cheek, but he pulls his hand back down at the last second.

I open and close my mouth several times, not sure whether to scream in happiness or pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Oh, if it is indeed a dream, may I never wake up.

Taking my silence as a rejection, Edward drops his heated gaze, shy again. "It's okay that you don't feel the same way, Bella. I don't expect you to, really. I just…I needed to tell you the truth."

The sight of his hunched shoulders, his defeated, hanging head, and the sound of his shaky, depressed voice breaks me out of my stunned stance. "No!" I say a little too loudly.

Edward's head snaps up, his pained expression turning bright and hopeful as his warm, topaz eyes bore into mine.

I draw courage from those loving eyes. I'm tired of lying to him. He needs to know. _I_ need him to know.

I take a deep breath. "I-I love you, too, Edward," I say firmly, honestly.

Edward face inexplicably contorts into defeat and pain. "I know you love me and I know it's not the same way that I love you. Its fine, I understand. I'm happy staying f-f-friends." His words sound so unconvincing that I almost smile.

I step closer to him and slowly snake my hands around his neck, giving him ample time to stop me. He doesn't. I step closer until our bodies are pressed together. He rests his hands hesitantly on my hips. We've never hugged like this before. I feel warm and comforted in his arms and it gives me the confidence to move forward with this. "Well, I'm not happy staying friends, Edward. I—"

He doesn't let me finish. "Oh, no, please Bella," his anguish voice interrupts me. "Don't say you won't be friends with me anymore. I know I made this awkward, but I promise I will never say I love you again if only you give me a second ch—"

"No," I say gently, hating that I couldn't do anything right. Everything I've said so far has just left him in pain and distress. "Please let me finish Edward, okay?" He nods, still looking anxious. "I'm not happy staying friends with you because I want to be _more_ than friends. I love you as more than just a friend, Edward. I'm _in_ love with you."

Edward's eyes widen. "You love me?" his voice both vulnerable and hopeful. Oh, Edward, my love, why do you sound so surprised?

"Yes, I love you," I repeat readily. I'll repeat it forever if only to get him to finally believe me.

He slowly leans in until his forehead rests against mine, our noses centimeters apart, and our matching smiles so huge and happy. He closes his eyes in contentment which gives me a chance to ogle him without being embarrassed. First his beautiful bronze hair. It's disheveled from the number of times he's ran his hand through it in the past ten minutes. I would personally want to run my hands through it just to see if it's as soft and silky as it looks to be.

Next, I move my gaze to his pale, peaceful face. My stare travels past his closed, lavender eyelids, stopping briefly to admire his long, black eyelashes, before settling on his nose. I never thought I'd describe someone's nose as cute, but that's just what Edward's nose is. It's not too pointy or too big, but cute and perfect.

I continue my trek and stop cold at the sight of his lips. His soft-looking, perfectly symmetrical, lovely pink lips. Oh, how I want to kiss those lips. I unconsciously lick my own lips and wonder how my lips would feel against his, how they would move against his, how they would—

"Like what you see?" the lips say.

Startled and bashful at being caught, I glance up to see Edward's playful, mischievous, now-open eyes. I smile despite my embarrassment because, once again, Edward's back to his confident self.

"Well?" Edward wants an answer.

A shiver down my spine is his answer and I watch heatedly as those damn lips of his grin crookedly.

"Do you love me, Bella?" Edward whispers, moving his fingers under my chin and tilting my willing face upwards so that our lips are inches apart. I nod eagerly. "Do you trust me?" Again, I nod. "Then be very still, alright?"

This time he doesn't wait for me to respond before moving his head closer. I close my eyes and his lips just brush against mine, sending a jolt throughout my body. When he keeps his lips there, I peek open one eye only to see him smiling at me. He pulls back slightly, only to come back and give me another, tantalizing brush of his lips.

"Edward," I whimper, wanting him to give me more.

His grip on my hips tightens at the sound of need in my voice. "Patience, love," he says affectionately, his voice hoarse. "You don't how hard it is to keep myself from…" he doesn't finish, but his darker-than-usual eyes tell me everything I need to know. "I just…I want this to be good and perfect for you," he whispers, his eyes burning with sincerity and love.

My heart melts. He's too sweet. "Then Edward," I smile, "just kiss me."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, Edward wastes no time. Our lips make delicious contact and as our lips finally, _finally_ press firmly against each other's, my whole body tingles. We pull back in surprise, both with our eyes full of wonder and awe.

My first kiss and it was perfect.

After that—I don't even know who initiated it this time—but in a blink of an eye, we are eagerly back to kissing. My hands bury themselves in his hair—and, if you're wondering (you probably are), his hair _is_ as soft and silky as it looks—and he wraps his strong arms around my waist, holding me tightly against him.

And at first our lips move hesitantly, slowly, gently, sweetly against the others, but before long they move hurriedly, passionately, beautifully. The only thing louder than my pounding heart is my fast breathing.

This moment, right here with Edward, could be replayed over and over again, and I would still not be able to get enough, each perfect pass of his lips just making me anxious for the next one.

Soon though, as Edward cups my face gently in his hands, our kisses slow down until Edward gives me one, two, three more quick, chaste kisses. Finally, we close our eyes and cling to each other, the only noises being our fast, unnecessary pants and whispered 'I love you's'.

When I open my eyes, I am pleased to see that my head is resting against his neck and I tilt my face to press my lips at the bottom of his throat.

"Bella," Edward whispers, digging his hand into my hair.

"Hmm," I hum as move my kisses slowly up his neck to just under his chin. Just as I go in for another kiss, though, Edward pulls back reluctantly so that I can no longer reach his face "We have plenty of time for that later, love, but now I want to talk."

"We also have plenty of time to talk," I grumble, but relent and settle for intertwining our hands.

He laughs happily. "I heard that."

"You were supposed to." I pout and poke his chest. "Now what is this important thing we _have_ to talk about?"

"Us," he answers simply before leaning in and kissing me quickly.

"Hey," I protest as he pulls back way too soon. "I thought you said we weren't going to kiss anymore, you tease."

He shrugs, unapologetic. "You're too cute when you pout. I couldn't resist."

I smile. I love when he compliments me. It's only with him that I actually feel beautiful and confident. "Well, then, it's only fair that I do this."

I stand on my tippy-toes and before he can stop me—though I don't think he would have made a whole-hearted effort—I kiss him deeply. Slowly gathering courage, I open my mouth slightly and reach my tongue out to quickly taste his sweet bottom lip. Edward gasps into my mouth and I triumphantly pull back. I then proceed to turn away from him and sit down in the middle of the meadow.

"Well," I turn to his shocked frame, still where I left him. "I thought we were going to talk?" Before the words fully leave my mouth, he's flies through the meadow toward me. I squeal as he lands on me and forces my back to lie fully on the grass.

"You're going to pay for that," he promises, his eyes dark.

Yeah, we didn't get to talking for a long while.

oOo

When we do finally get around to it, I ask the million-dollar question.

"Why did we wait so long to do this?" I question, pecking him on the lips to show him what I meant by 'this.'

"Who knows?" he answers distantly as starts trailing kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. I sigh contently as he makes his way back up to my lips and gives me a gentle kiss.

How have I gone without this for so long? I already know that now that I've known how perfectly he kisses, I will never get enough of his sweet-tasting, pillow soft lips.

Edward smiles as he pulls back from his kiss. "We just have to make up for lost time, I guess." He sighs in mock disappointment.

I laugh. "We do," I agree. He grins crookedly at my invitation and leans in, but I turn my face away at the last second. "But later. Now I really want to know the answer to my question."

With a heavy, reluctant sigh, Edward rolls off of me and moves to lie down next to me. "Well, it's really your fault," he answers mildly.

I sit up and stare incredulously at him. "_My _fault? Me? Really?" I snort.

"Yes." He sits up too. "I've been trying to make you see that I love you for the past _two weeks_."

"Well, I don't understand why you just didn't come out with it," I reply hotly.

"Because it's better to show someone you love them then just tell them. And to show them you have to compliment them, hang out frequently, make the girl feel special, use physical touches, give small gifts, and be kind." Edward lists the items with his fingers.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Well who told you all that bull-crap?"

"You!"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, but in reference to your friend and his crus—ugh," I shove him. "You liar! I _knew _you didn't have any friends."

"I do too," he mumbles unconvincingly. "And I don't see how it matters that it was us instead of some other couple."

"It's different because you always compliment me, we always hang out, we always hug, you're always kind, and you always make me feel special, Edward. How was I supposed to notice a difference?"

"What about gifts? I've never given you gifts before," he points out.

"You gave me flowers, Edward, that were five feet away from you. I mean, yes, if you got me flowers at a florist shop, then I would be suspicious, but it's not like you went out of your way to get me something."

"Because I know you don't like it when people buy you things!"

"I still don't understand why you didn't just tell me!" By now, our voices are both raised and frustrated.

"I've tried, Bella. Do you know how many times I was this close to telling you? When I come home to you and my mom dancing around the kitchen, flour all over your face. When you played Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars so horribly on my piano, but you were giddy anyways." He smiles and his voice turns gentle. "Whenever you laughed, whenever you pouted, whenever you smiled…all those times, I was this close to just shouting 'I love you'…but I couldn—"

Knowing where he is going with this, I interrupt. "You couldn't," I take his hand in mine and gaze into his softening eyes, "because you were afraid of rejection. You didn't want to take the risk of saying it and then having to hear me say 'well, I don't love you.' Worse, you were afraid to say anything because if I rejected you, you might have ruined everything and lost me as a friend. And you'd rather spend eternity being just friends with me, always wanting more, and not getting enough, than spend an eternity without me."

Edward's eyes widen. I had taken the words straight out of his mouth. "How did you know?" he whispers.

"Because that's the same reason why I didn't tell you," I reply honestly. He smiles in turn and pulls me closer so that we are sitting side by side. "Edward?" I lay my head on his shoulder, hug my knees to my chest, and stare up at the full, bright moon.

"Yes, love?" I smile. I will never get bored of Edward's new name for me.

"I don't like fighting with you," I say softly.

Edward shifts his body and uses his fingers to coax me into looking at him. His gaze is gentle and reassuring as he plants a soft kiss on the middle of my forehead. "I don't like fighting with you either," he whispers sincerely.

"I'm sorry," I say guiltily. I was the one who started it.

"Oh, no, don't be sorry, love, don't ever be sorry," he urges. "I just got defensive, that's all."

"Me too. And…if we are being honest with each other, I just didn't like it when you said that this was all my fault. Like I was dumb for not realizing that you loved me sooner."

"Oh, Bella, I hope you know that that wasn't my intention," he says apologetically, frustrated with himself.

"I know," I nod.

"Good. Plus," he grins crookedly, "maybe I should have been the one to see that you love me. I mean, look at me. Who wouldn't love me?" he jokes.

I laugh. He always knows what to say to make me happy again. Now looking pleased with himself, Edward rests a hand on my cheek and I lean into his palm.

"Oh, Bella, why didn't I just tell you," he whispers, his voice laced with regret and his forehead pinched in sorrow.

"Uh uh," I tot, "don't go blaming yourself. This _is_ the 21st century. Girls can say 'I love you' to guys first, you know," I point out.

He laughs in agreement. "Well, then, it's both of our faults."

I smile and nod, happy with the compromise. "Now, how long exactly have you loved me?" I ask curiously.

"Since the moment our eyes met, I knew you were the one," he says with exaggerated cheesiness, smiling.

I roll my eyes but laugh along with him nonetheless. "I'm trying to be serious here Edward." We both know that he looked at me with horror when he first saw me.

He sobers up, but then shrugs. "A long time? I mean, I can't pinpoint one exact moment. Can you?"

I purse my lips in thought. "Well, I know I was always attracted to you, even when you ignored me. It grew into a major crush on the day you told me that you didn't hate me. I don't know exactly when I fell in love with you, though. All I know was that my heart felt like it was going to leap out whenever we hugged. When you smiled or laughed, I smiled bigger and laughed harder. You were so sweet to me even when I was being annoying. You made me feel special and beautiful and loved. I just…" I shrug one shoulder and then smile. "I'm so lucky you chose me because you were right. What girl wouldn't love you? You could be with anyone you want to be with."

Edward grins and looks at me with such adoration in his eyes that if I was standing, my knees would have given out. He slowly places his hands on my shoulders and nudges me until I'm lying flat on my back. He's in an almost push-up position, his feet placed on either side of mine and he's resting on his elbows that are placed on either side of my head.

"Don't ever forget," he whispers as he moves a strand of hair away from my face, "that I am the one who is lucky."

I grin up at him as my fingers trail up his chest to the nape of his neck. "So…" I say softy as I start to play with his wonderful hair, "are you my boyfriend now?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Because," he explains to my hurt and confused expression, "that would mean that you're my girlfriend, and you're so much more to me than just a girlfriend."

"Really?" I grin. "Do tell."

He smiles crookedly. "Well, you're my angel," he kisses my forehead softly, "my love," he kisses my right cheek, "my life," he pecks my nose sweetly, "my world," he kisses my left cheek. By this time I'm breathing heavily and I hope that he goes for my lips next. And he does, because Edward simply never disappoints. "And," peck, "you're," longer kiss, "mine" lingering kiss.

"Yours?" I smile and this time I kiss him.

"Mine," he growls possessively against my moving lips.

"Yours," I agree. "Completely yours."

I am finally his and he is finally mine and I wouldn't have it any other way.

oOo

Edward and I lay there for hours, sometimes talking, sometimes just silently marveling on how much our relationship has grown, and yes, sometimes kissing. When it starts to rain in the middle of the night, we joyously race to the nearest tree and take shelter under its leaves. From there, we watch together as the full moon and dark sky slowly disappear. At the top of the tree we share a slow, sweet kiss at sunrise, the sky a breathtaking pink and orange.

My face falls as I see Edward look at his watch. "What time is it?" I ask, dreading the hour.

Edward sighs. "Six forty-five."

I pout. The Cullens leave from school around seven-thirty and he needs to get home so he can take a shower and do homework. "Alright," I say, trying not to let my disappointment show. I slowly stand up on the branch.

"And what, pray tell, do you think you are going?" Edward asks, pulling me back down to a sitting position.

I glance at him, confused. "Uh, we need to get home."

"Yes," he agrees, "but let's take the fun way."

"What's the fun way?" I question curiously.

He points forward at a line of trees. "By tree."

"Oh, no, no, no." I shake my head. "I'm not jumping trees all the way back."

"Why not?" Edward frowns.

"Because what if I fall?"

Edward smiles. "Come now, Bella, would I ever let you fall?"

I shake my head. "But still…"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do, but…"

"Would I ever put you in danger?"

"No, but..." He pouts. "Ugh," I half sigh, half laugh. "Fine, you win."

He grins crookedly. "Well, that's great, but if you truly would be scared…"

"I won't," I assure. He raises an eyebrow. "I'll be with you," I clarify, "so why would I be scared?"

Edward smiles and gives me a small kiss at the top of my forehead before standing up. "Alright, then, get on." He hunches his back.

"Excuse me?" I laugh.

He looks back at me, smiling. "You heard me. Get on my back. I'll show you how it's done."

Grinning, I stand up and wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He helps me hoist my legs around his waist, and then, without warning, we are off.

It's exhilarating. I laugh freely, loving the feel of the wind and rain hitting my face. Best of all, I love the feeling of being this close to Edward, wrapped around his lean body, feeling every inch of him. And to believe I almost didn't want to do this.

He swiftly jumps from branch to branch at full-speed. The only time he stumbles slightly is when I peck the back of his neck. When we finally arrive to the edge of the forest, Edward jumps to the ground and I let out a squeal as we fall from thirty feet in the air. He laughs as he lands and sees the dent in the ground we've made.

I unwrap myself from him and grab his shoulders. "That was awesome!" I exclaim, my eyes bright. "We have to do that again!"

Edward smiles hugely, pleased with my reaction. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, love. Now, wanna race home?"

"And get there quicker?" I shake my head. "No thank you, mister. I don't want to share you anytime soon. We are walking. We're almost there anyway." I hold my hand out to him. He takes it and gives it a gentle squeeze. Together, we walk incredibly slowly back home, holding hands the entire way.

oOo

"Esme didn't believe me," Edward pouts as he enters my room.

"Believe what?" I question, walking up to him.

"That I'm feeling sick."

"You're feeling sick?" I demand, alarmed, searching his face for any signs of illness, but he just looks…amused?

"No, of course not. I'm a vampire, remember?"

"Then why would you tell Esme that—"

"Well, I had to try, didn't I? I don't want to go to school. Not when we just…" He trails off. We both agreed earlier that we aren't going to tell anyone that we are together until later today.

"That's so sweet." I smile. "I wish you could stay, too."

"Edward! We need to go!" Rose yells from downstairs.

Edward and I both sigh at the same time. "I'm going to miss you," Edward says sincerely, giving me a tight hug.

"I'm gonna miss you more," I whisper, kissing his cheek.

"That's it! I'm getting into the car now and we're going without you!"

I laugh. "You better get going."

"No," Edward says stubbornly, hugging me tighter. "Let them leave."

I grin. "And face Esme's wrath? I don't think so. Plus, they're not going to actually leave you."

He sighs. "I suppose you're right," he allows before reluctantly letting go of me. We walk down the stairs together and when we get to the front door, he gives me a sad smile and wave as he runs to his Volvo and gets in. I sigh. I miss him already.

_Two Hour Later_

A series of loud chimes startles me, almost knocking over the vase I'm dusting out of my hands. Esme laughs lightly. "What was that?" I ask, embarrassed.

"Your cell phone, sweetheart," she answers.

"My cell phone?" I say dubiously.

Ever since the Cullens forced—and I literally mean forced—me to accept their gift of a cell phone several months ago, I've rarely touched it, nor had it made any noise before. They said it was for emergency purposes and they wanted to always be able to contact me. I wonder why it suddenly went off all of a sudden.

Oh god, wait, what if there's an emergency?

Without taking further thought, I rush up the stairs and into my bedroom. I go straight to where the phone always is—permanently charging under my desk—and pick it up. Flipping it open, the screen reads that I have one new text message from Edward Cullen. I'm surprised and extremely pleased. He's never texted me before now. Curious, I eagerly open the text message.

**Hello, love**

I smile. It's so simple, but I find it incredibly sweet that he's texting me during school. It shows that he's thinking about me, maybe even as much as I've been thinking about him these past two hours. And I love how he's taken to calling me love. I hurriedly reply.

_**Texting during school, Edward? Tsk tsk tsk.**_

His reply comes instantly.

**I couldn't help it. I miss you too much. I needed to hear from you. Plus, these teachers are so clueless, they'll never notice. **

_**I miss you, too. And be careful, I don't want you getting in trouble because of me.**_

**I'll be fine, love, don't worry about me. I can't wait until school is over.**

_**I know. I'm counting the minutes. **_

**I'm counting the seconds. **

_**I'm counting the milliseconds.**_

**Well, I'm counting the nanoseconds. **

Darn it, what's smaller than a nanosecond? As though knowing what I'm thinking, Edward texts me again.

**I win.**

I roll my eyes. I can just see him smiling.

_**Whatever. What class are you in?**_

**Spanish. **

_**Ay, señor! Yo sé español también. Y, señor mío, te quiero mucho.**_

He doesn't respond. Thinking I spelled something wrong—I haven't used Spanish since earlier in December, and that was only Spanish 3—I text him again.

_**Does that make sense? I tried to say 'I love you so much.' **_

Still no response. I frown.

"Bella," Esme calls from downstairs. "Are you coming back down? I thought we could try out that new recipe."

Sighing, I get up. "Yeah, Esme." I pocket my phone, just in case, and go back downstairs.

Thirty minutes later and still no text. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. He's probably just busy doing a worksheet or something, I try to reason. But, a dark voice in my head whispers, maybe it's because of what you said. I bite my lip. From what I know, teenage boys usually don't like the L-word. But Edward is not an ordinary teenage boy, right? And plus, he's the one always calling me love.

"Bella, Bella, earth to Bella," Esme's waving hand in front of my face breaks me from my train of thought.

"Huh?"

"Your phone just vibrated, hon." She gives me a knowing look.

"Oh, right," I mumble, embarrassed, fumbling to take my phone out of my pocket. I quickly open the message.

**Sorry, love, your text just made me so deliriously happy that I got distracted and didn't see the teacher walking towards me and catching me with the phone. She confiscated it until the end of the period, the witch. **

I smile and sigh in relief. I'm just about to text back when another text comes in.

**Oh and I love you too. **

* * *

**Did you guys like it? They're together now! Sorry this chapter is a little on the short side, but I hope the Edward and Bella finally getting together makes up for that fact. And this week is exam review week and next week are my finals and then I'm officially a junior! But for now, I'll probably start writing after exams and then post as soon as I finish writing the next chapter. Next chapter is more E and B, so review and I promise I'll send a sneak preview this time. **

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Wish me luck on my exams!**

**Review!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	18. Telling the Family

**Hey, Chapter 18 is here! Thank you to those who reviewed! Enjoy. **

* * *

_Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. ~Kay Knudsen_

_The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. _

_~Nicholas Sparks, __The __Notebook_

* * *

**Monday, May 13****th**** 3:00 P.M.**

I laugh when I hear the music Esme has decided to put on. It's a fast-paced, hard beat—perfect dance music. "I don't understand why you like listening to songs that have no words," I say in a normal tone, knowing she can hear me even though she's in a different room.

Esme walks into the kitchen from the living room, smiling. "Words are so distracting. I just like music I can move to," she explains as she twirls around happily in time with the beat.

I laugh as I carry the tray of cookies over to her. "Well, _move _right on over, missy, you're standing right in front of the oven."

Esme takes one look at the cookies and shakes her head. "Oh, no, no, no sweetie."

"What?" I frown when she takes the tray from me and places it back on the counter.

"How'd you make those cookies?" She places a hand on her hip in question.

"What do you mean? We bought the dough and I—"

"_Uh huh_," Esme interrupts, pointing at me like this is some big caught-you moment. "So these cookies were not made from scratch. Come on, sweetie, where is the fun in that?"

I smile and roll my eyes. "Okay, okay, but do you know how to make cookies from scratch?"

Esme shakes her head, her caramel locks swaying in the process. "Not at all, but we know the basic ingredients, right?"

I nod and widen my smile. "So we're just going to wing it?" She passes me an apron and puts one on herself as her response. "Okay, I'll get the stuff out of the refrigerator, you get the bowls," I order as I put on the red apron. I walk over and open the refrigerator. It's packed with every single thing you can imagine. When I find the eggs, I take the carton out.

"How many eggs do you think we'll need?" I ask, turning to face her standing across the room.

She shrugs. "Give me five. I'm thinking lots of cookies. And pass me the milk."

I turn back to the refrigerator, and as my eyes search for the milk, I take an egg out of the carton and throw it behind my back, knowing Esme will catch it and the egg will come out of it without a crack. I throw the other eggs, one by one, in time with the music, and when I finally see the milk behind the gallons of orange and apple juice, I throw that behind my back as well. Don't try this at home, people, unless you're, well, a vampire.

I turn around just in time to see Esme catch the gallon of milk smoothly with one hand without even looking up from her bowl.

"Anything else?" I question, ready to close the refrigerator.

"Some butter, please," she answers, cracking each egg perfectly into the bowl at vampire speed. "Make it half a stick."

"Got it," I grab the stick of butter, throw it into the air, chop it smoothly in half with a karate-chop motion, catch both parts as they come down, and throw half all the way across the room to Esme, who, without looking again, moves the bowl a little to the left so that the butter lands perfectly in the middle, everything in time with the music.

I laugh gleefully. "We need to make a video of this and put it on YouTube."

"What tube?" Esme asks curiously, pushing the bowl with just enough force so that it slides across the counter and stops right in front of me. "Stir that, would you, dearie? I need to grab the flour."

"YouTube, Esme? You know, the website where you post videos?" I prompt as I start stirring at vampire speed. At her blank stare, I laugh. "Oh, Esme, you have so much to learn."

She shrugs. "You can teach me, then," she smiles beautifully. "But if you mean we should have our own cooking show, I agree."

"We could call it 'Cullen Culinary: Learn to Cook with Vampires,'" I joke. "Plus, I bet Carlisle would love it," I add sarcastically. "Though, with how much that man works, we'd have to TiVo the show for him to be able to see it."

"TiVo?"

"Oh Esme," I sigh affectionately. "Just hand me the flour." She raises an eyebrow. "Please?" I add, smiling.

She throws the big bag of flour at me and I easily catch it with one hand. So we both dance and twirl around together as we stir, measure, throw, catch, pass, smell, laugh, and then start all over again once we realize that we used too many eggs and not enough milk.

We are so distracted having fun that neither of us notice that thirty minutes have flown by and everyone has arrived from school. Which is why I nearly have a heart attack when, as I'm dancing in place, stirring the batter, arms unexpectantly wrap around my waist from behind.

"Oh," I place a hand to my heart in surprise until I realize with one sniff that it's Edward behind me. Smiling hugely, I lean back into his strong embrace.

"Mmm, something smells good," he mumbles, nuzzling my neck.

"We are making cookies!" I explain excitedly.

"I wasn't talking about the cookies, silly girl," he growls slightly as his nose brushes a trail along my neck.

"Me?" I say in surprise. I know his scent drives me crazy, but I never thought of my scent smelling especially pleasing.

"Mmhm," Edward hums, "like strawberries and freesia."

I smile. "Well, you don't smell so bad yourself."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup, like rainbows and sunshine and…_puppies_, yeah." Thank god we are not facing each other or my huge smile would give me away.

"_Puppies?"_ Edward demands, his face probably a mask of horror.

"Not just any puppy, a cute one," I correct matter-of-factly before not being able to take it anymore and bursting out laughing.

"Oh, thank god, you're kidding," he says in relief.

I finally turn around to face him, still giggling. "Of course, sweetie," I grin as I snake my arms around his neck. "You smell like racecars and muscles and beer and guns and all that other macho, _manly_ stuff." I pinch his cheek playfully.

Edward smiles, his topaz eyes light and happy. "God, I missed you."

I turn serious, about to tell him that I missed him, too, but before I can, a loud throat clears, leading me to look to the left. "Oh," I widen my eyes as I see all the Cullens at the other end of the room. I jump out of Edward's arms and lean innocently against the counter. "Hey! Um…just out curiosity, how long have you guys been standing there?"

"Oh, just for a few seconds," Jasper answers mildly.

I sigh in relief.

"But we heard everything you said," Alice adds cheerfully.

And the relief is gone. "Oh, well…Carlisle!" I notice him standing behind Emmett. "When did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes after the kids did," Carlisle answers. "Alice called me twenty minutes ago to tell me that I had to come home as soon as possible, so now I'm on my lunch break."

"That's interesting, Carlisle, how did—"

"Oh, stop changing the subject, Bella." Rose rolls her honey orbs.

"Yes, let us address the elephant in the room, shall we?" Carlisle gestures towards the living room.

"I don't see a stinking elephant," I mutter, but follow everybody anyway.

Once we get there, everyone sits down on a couch, and Edward and I are sitting together on one of the love seats for the first time.

"So, Alice, what is so important that you had to interrupt Carlisle's work day?" Esme questions.

"Well, Edward said I couldn't tell anyone because he and Bella didn't want to tell anybody anything until we were all together and I didn't think I could hold it in until Carlisle came home, so I made him come now," Alice explains in one breath, bouncing in excitement. "I've been waiting for this moment ever since I got the vision!"

"Waiting for what, exactly?" Emmett furrows his eyebrows.

"Um—" Edward takes his hand in mine.

"—we can answer that." I bite my lip.

"As most of you have guessed, Bella and I are together," Edward announces to his family before turning to me. "She's my life," he adds, whispering and smiling at me.

I smile back. "And he's my world."

"Awww," Alice and Esme gush while Jasper and Emmett cough loudly. I look away in embarrassment, forgetting that we had an audience. Since I'm studying the carpet, I don't see when Emmett and Jasper leave their seats, and in a blink of an eye they are standing right in front of Edward and I.

Edward groans, reading their thoughts. "No guys, not now."

"Sorry, Edward," Jasper says unapologetically. "We have a duty to do."

"What duty?" I say in confusion. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Our brotherly duty is to have a little private chat with Eddie here," Emmett grins, though he speaks seriously.

Now it's my turn to groan. "No, that is totally unnecessary."

Jasper raises an eyebrow, about to disagree, but Edward speaks before he can. "It's fine, Bella. I can see from their thoughts that they're serious about this. I'll just step outside with them for a couple seconds, okay? Plus, the ladies are just dying for me to leave so they can grill you in private."

I glance uneasily at Alice's bouncing excitement and Esme's eager face before turning back to Edward. "Be quick, please," I whisper.

Edward laughs at my reaction. "I will, love."

"Now, come on," Emmett nudges Edward. Edward nods and quickly and gently places a kiss on the top of my head before leaving the room with his brothers.

I look back to where Esme, Rose, Alice, and Carlisle are sitting.

"Tell us _everything,_" Alice demands, clapping her hands together.

"Yes, leave nothing out," Esme leans forward eagerly.

Carlisle looks around awkwardly. "Well, uh, I leave you ladies to it. I'll just join the guys outside," he says, already halfway across the room. He waves before quickly exiting, leaving me to withstand the Spanish Inquisition all by myself. Thanks Carlisle.

Now, without a word, Rose throws me a furious glare before standing up and stalking out of the room and up the stairs.

"Um," I purse my lips awkwardly. "What was that all about?" I ask, gesturing to where Rose was just sitting.

Alice shrugs her tiny shoulders, unconcerned. "Who knows? Now, _come on_, spill."

Deciding to put Rose in the back of my mind for now, I shrug my shoulders shyly. "There's not much to tell."

"Sure there is," Esme insists, her voice warm. "Come over here, honey, and tell us how it finally happened." She pats the seat next to her.

I smile. "Fine, fine," I concede, moving across the room to the seat in between them.

I know that I would never ever tell them any intimate details, such as how Edward showed me his vulnerable side, how his eyes burned brightly with hope and devotion when he told me he loved me, how his voice cracked when he thought I didn't love him back, how his lips were so soft and knew just how to move against mine, how incredible it felt when he kissed me right below my ear, how beautiful and intimate it was when we shared a long kiss up in that tree at sunrise. But…I was willing to share some details.

"See," I start as Esme and Alice lean towards me, "as you know, we were in the woods, and I could tell something was wrong with Edward. When I asked him what was bothering him, he eventually admitted that he…well, he was bothered by the fact that I've never told him that I loved him when I've told all of you, including Emmett and Jasper. So I told him that I loved him and then added the fact that he also has never told me that _he_ loved _me_. So he tells me that he loves me, but he does so in a more-than-friendly way. And I told him that I loved him as more than just a friend, too, and…yeah, that's it."

Alice and Esme blink. "Bella!" Alice exclaims. "We need more than that."

"Yeah," Esme agrees. "Like did you guys kiss?" She nudges me as I look at her in shock.

"I uh…we um," I stumble, not knowing how to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes," Alice grins happily. "Were there fireworks?" She waggles her eyebrows.

I cover my face with my hands. "You guys," I groan.

"You know, Alice, Bella was texting someone all day," Esme mentions, leaning over me to converse with Alice.

"Really? Hmm, well, I know for a fact that Edward was staring at his phone constantly, and grinned every time it vibrated," Alice adds slyly.

I lift my face out of my hands, now interested.

"Well, all I gotta say is that I'm glad that it _finally _happened," Esme states.

"I know," Alice agrees. "I mean, how long were they in love with each other?"

I frown and decide to join the conversation. "Was it that obvious? Was_ I_ that obvious?"

"Yes," Esme and Alice answer at the same time before dissolving into giggles.

"Oh, Bella," Alice smiles when they finally stop laughing and see my disgruntled expression. "If it makes you feel better, Edward was more obvious than you were."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah," Esme nods, "I mean, just the way his whole face lit up whenever you walked into the room."

"Not to mention how he constantly talked about you at school," Alice adds, rolling her gold eyes and smiling. "Any longer and he would have started writing your name all over his notebooks."

"He really loves you, Bella," Esme says in earnest as she pulls a stand of hair behind my ear and smiles at me happily.

I look down at my folded hands. "Yeah, I guess I'm finally starting to see that," I whisper, biting my lip.

"So…were there fireworks?" Alice asks again, smiling, not backing down.

I laugh at her ridiculous persistence. I remember the first kiss we had. How I felt afterwards, like everything was finally perfect and I could never be sad again. How I felt during the kiss, when our lips first connected and a shock ran through my body. "Yes," I nod, smiling hugely. "There were fireworks. Definitely."

Alice squeals. "Oh, I'm so happy!"

"Really? You guys are really fine with this?" I ask, just to clarify because a little part of me feared that they would not think I was good enough for Edward.

"Oh, of course Bella," Esme assures. "How could we not be?"

I look back and forth between them, seeing their beaming faces and large smiles, realizing that they are indeed truly happy for Edward and me.

"You don't understand that we have been waiting for this moment for a long, _long_ time," Alice says.

"Exactly," Esme nods. "I mean, we've known Edward for decades, Bella, and he has always been alone. He always said that he was fine being single, that he was happy the way he was, but we always, always hoped that he would find love."

"And in truth he was never happy until you came along," Alice adds. "You don't understand because you weren't around to see how lost he was before he met you. He was always brooding and just…unhappy. But now, now he's happy. And he is clearly always the happiest when he's with you."

"I just don't know how to repay you Bella," Esme envelops me in a tight hug. "You've made my son so happy."

"Oh, Esme, he's made me so happy, too," I whisper before laughing in disbelief. "I never thought I'll say that, but it's true. I went from being suicidal to just over the moon with happiness, and it's all because of Edward."

Esme pulls away to give me a sweet kiss on the forehead. "I'm glad, Bella, I'm really glad that you guys have found happiness in each other," she says with such sincerity, her eyes filled with the motherly love she felt for both Edward and me.

I smile, a little choked up myself. "Thanks Esme."

Alice tugs on my sleeve to get my attention. "You really love him, right, Bella? Because it is _my_ sisterly duty to be 200% sure you won't hurt him."

"I would never," I promise, "I love him so much," I add honestly. "I…I can't explain it. I just love him."

"Don't worry, hon," Esme pats my hand, "Alice and I know the feeling."

"Exactly," Alice agrees. "Now, Bella, did you and Edward—"

I shake my head, interrupting her. There was someone else in this house who I want to get approval from. "No more questions, Alice." She pouts. I smile. "Later," I promise. "But for now, I think that I need to go talk to Rose."

oOo

I take a deep breath before knocking hesitantly on her door. "Rose? Can I come in?"

I roll my eyes when I hear her very loud, drawn-out sigh. "Fine, I guess."

I open the door and poke my head in and I see her lounging on the edge of her bed. I slowly make my way over to join her, sitting a couple of inches away.

Minutes later, I say, "So," pursing my lips and breaking the intense, awkward silence. "Do you…do you not like Edward and I being together?" I ask anxiously, hoping that she said no. Despite their constant fights and teasing, Edward really loves Rose and values her as his sister and I want her to be okay with us being together.

"No, no that's not it." Rose shakes her head.

I wait for her to add more, but she doesn't. Another awkward silence.

"Um…then what is it?" I ask.

"It's just that…" She studies the bedcover. "Do you know exactly why Carlisle changed me, Bella?"

"Yes," I reply slowly, remembering from when Edward mentioned it briefly. "He was hoping you would be Edward's mate since he and Esme were so happy together and he wanted that same happiness for Edward."

"And…" Rose gestures for me to add on.

"And what?" I say in confusion. "All Edward said was that you guys never liked each other that way."

Rose's lips tug upwards briefly. "That's nice of him. He didn't mention how I practically threw myself at him."

"T-threw yourself at him?" I repeat dumbly. "No, he um didn't mention that."

"You have to understand that I was very vain and shallow—"

"Was?" I interrupt, smiling to let her know that I am only teasing.

She laughs a little. "Well, believe it or not, I'm not as shallow as I used to be. Anyway, it frustrated me to no end because Edward was not attracted to me at all. That was something that never happened to me before. I mean, it was fine with Carlisle because he was happily married, but a single man has never denied me. And that's why I worked hard to get him to like me. Now, mind you, I myself was never attracted to him; I just hated the fact that a person could resist me." She bites her lip. "Don't get me wrong, I love Emmett with my whole heart and I'm over the whole 'Edward-Must-Like-Me' phase, but with you and him together, I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding, why you? I mean, after months of me trying to get him and tons and tons of other girls desperate for his attention, why do you, in such a short of amount of time, have that boy wrapped around your little pinkie?"

"T-tons of other girls?" I frown unhappily.

"Yeah, so why you?" Rose asks rhetorically, but I answer anyway.

"I don't know, Rose. I've wondered that, too. I mean, look at Edward. He's gorgeous and sweet and kind and funny and charming and smart and—"

"Bella, please stop," Rose wrinkles her nose.

I smile a tiny bit. "Right, you get the picture. So I guess it's not surprising to hear that he's had a lot of girls after him. I don't know why he chose me, but god if I'm not incredibly happy that he did. I just…I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, he's the sweetest and most—" Rose groans. "Alright, alight," I laugh. "Sorry, I'm just—"

"Totally in love with my brother? Yeah, no worries, I get it," Rose smiles.

I grin back. "Sorry that I can't really answer your question."

Rose waves my apology off. "I know it was a pretty shallow question to begin with. And I don't mean to insult you, Bella. You're a great person and if Edward had to fall for one person, I'm glad that person is you." My smile widens. Compliments from Rose mean a lot, seeing as they are so rare. "It's just that…this means that there is something you have that I don't, and that just really annoys me. I'm really competitive, Bella. Like _really_ competitive." She looks down. "I guess that's why I don't have that many vampire girlfriends, except for Alice and Esme, of course. Girls don't like me because I'm too arrogant and shallow and competitive."

"Oh, I don't think that's true," I disagree. "You're not arrogant." Rose raises an eyebrow. "What? Look at you, Rose?" I glance at her perfectly straight, blond hair and her voluptuous figure. "When you say you're gorgeous, you're just stating a fact. That's not arrogance. People can't expect you to deny your beauty because you probably are one of the most beautiful girls on this planet. Sure, you could tone it down a bit, but no one can fault you for being beautiful…right? And shallow? Yes, you think a lot about material things, but you do have a caring side. I've seen it….sometimes. You can easily work on that though, by just putting yourself in other people's shoes more often. And being competitive is fine, too…sorta." I laugh at myself. "I'm not saying this right. Look, what I'm getting at is that I think most girls don't want to hang with you because they are intimidated by you, not because of your personality."

Rose nods, really smiling at me. "Thanks, Bella. That was nice to hear."

"You're welcome," I grin. "Oh, and Rose? I wouldn't mind being your friend. I mean, I know we aren't that similar and that you relate more with Alice, what with all the clothes and fashion and stuff you guys both like, but I think that we—"

"Do you always ramble?" Rose interrupts, her dark honey eyes flicking with amusement.

"Sometimes," I say sheepishly.

"Well," Rose sighs heavily. "I _guess_ we could be friends, since you're my only option." I frown. "Oh, Bella, I'm kidding," Rose laughs and I join in, relieved.

"So no more smiling at me one day and glaring at me the next?" I ask for clarification.

Rose laughs. "Yeah, sorry about that. I guess it's takes a while for me to warm up to someone."

"That's an understatement," I mumble, smiling at her. She smiles back. "Oh, and can I give you some advice?"

"Sure," she says cautiously.

"Smile more, wouldja? Because, believe it or not, you look more beautiful when you do."

Rose looks shocked for a moment, and I worry that I insulted her or something, but then, so quick that I almost miss it, she wraps her arms around me, and then, just as quick, she pulls them away.

I gawk at her as she straightens her shirt. "If you tell anyone that I did that," Rose flips her blond hair over her shoulder, "I will kill you."

I laugh. I can't believe Rosalie Hale actually hugged me. "Deal," I promise.

"Good, and—" But Rose never finishes her sentence because just then, we hear Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and Carlisle come through the front door.

"Honey, we're home!" Emmett yells in a high-pitched voice.

Rose rolls her eyes, amused. "Well, how about it, Bella? Ready to see our men?"

_Our _men. I smile. I like the sound of that. I nod and together we walk down the stairs. Rose, Alice, and Esme move to greet their husbands, but all I pay attention to is Edward's smiling face.

"Hey," I say softly, walking into his welcoming embrace.

"Hi," he grins crookedly at me. "Have a nice talk with Rose?"

I furrow my eyebrows, confused as to how he knows I talked to Rose, but then I realize he must have heard Rose's thoughts as we came down the stairs. "I did. Did you have a nice talk with your brothers?"

"Of course he did," Jasper answers for him, clapping me on the shoulder.

"So you guys are good now?" I look at Edward, then Jasper, and then Emmett, remembering how ever since I threw up, they've been exchanging hard stares and sharp words.

Emmett laughs as he swings one arm over Jasper's shoulder, the other over Edward's, and then brings them both into a choke hold. "We're good," he grins."Ain't that right, guys?"

"Get off of me," Edward growls, slugging Emmett in the stomach.

"Why do you think we want to smell you pits? Gross," Jasper says, gripping Emmett's arm and twisting it.

I smile as I that they are indeed back to normal.

"Alright, that's enough, boys," Esme cautions as they start to move their playful fighting closer to her vase.

Edward grins as he lets go of both Emmett's and Jasper's arms. "I win." Emmett and Jasper scowl.

"Well, kids, I need to go back to work," Carlisle states. He turns and smiles warmly at me. "Bella."

"Carlisle." I grin and move to give him a hug.

"I'm happy for both you and Edward," he says as he hugs me tightly.

"Thanks, Carlisle. Your approval means a lot, really," I say honestly. Carlisle pulls back and smiles at me in response.

"Alright, I'll be back in a few hours," he says, turning to give Esme lingering kiss goodbye and then going right back out the front door.

"Oh, and Bella?" Jasper says after we hear Carlisle drive away. "Emmett and I just want to let you know that we are okay with you and Edward being together."

"Yeah, so we're letting you two date," Emmett adds.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion because they are looking at me like I should be jumping for joy. "Um…you're letting me date Edward?" They nod, smiling at me. "Well, sorry, but I don't need your permiss—"

"Uh uh," Edward whispers into my ear. "Let them have this one. They just want to feel like they have some semblance of control."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Oh! Thanks guys! That means a lot," I say enthusiastically. Their smiles widen as they hug me.

Afterwards, Edward wraps his own arms around me. "Wanna go upstairs?"

oOo

"So," Edward says as we sit on my bed. "I never got a chance to ask, how was your day?"

"Great!" My eyes light up. "It was really fun cooking with Esme."

Edward grins. "I'm glad. She had fun, too."

I smile. "What about you? How was your day?"

"Eh." Edward shrugs. "Though, your texts certainly helped the school day pass more pleasantly. Which is why I'm hoping that you won't mind if I called you during my lunch hour?"

Psh, as if he needs to ask. "Of _course _you can call me, Edward. Anytime you want."

"Great," he grins. "Now during my classes, I can always look forward to hearing your voice."

I melt at his words. "And I can look forward to hearing _your _voice, too," I reply. "Because, Edward, even though I had a blast with Esme, I still missed you a lot. I hope you know that."

"I know." He smiles softly at me before leaning in, and as much as it pains me, I turn my face to the side, resulting in him touching his lips to just my cheek. "Bella?" He sounds confused and slightly hurt.

"Sorry," I look down at the bedcovers. "It's just that your family is here..." I trail off.

"First off, what is this 'your family' business? _Our_ family, Bella. It's our family. And our family adores you," he says, taking one of my hands in his. "I adore you," he adds in a whisper, kissing that hand gently. "And you're forgetting that vampires have very selective hearing. We are good at concentrating on certain sounds and blocking others. And as a general, unspoken rule we block out any intimate conversation or moment. Trust me, Bella, I'm reading their thoughts right now and no one is paying any attention to us."

I smile at him. "In that case…" I lean towards him and he grins back before closing the distance between us. We share a slow, languid kiss before I pull away, smiling and laughing. "This is so surreal."

"What do you mean?" he questions curiously.

"I don't know." I shrug. "It's just unbelievable that after all this time, I'm kissing you. Don't get me wrong, it's great. Amazing actually," I smile as I peck his lips. "But it feels like a dream, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. Being with you, knowing that we both love each other…it's a feeling that I will never tire of," he promises.

"Me either." We stare happily at each other, both of our eyes full of joy and love. "I'm really happy that we're together now. I really am. And I really love you," I grin as I say this, loving the fact that I can freely tell him my feelings now.

Edward kisses me, slow and deep and we move our bodies closer to each other. "I love you, too, Bella. I love you so much," he whispers against my lips. "And I'm so glad that after school and after talking to our family, I finally have you all to myself."

"Bella!" Jasper yells from downstairs at that moment. Edward and I both groan. "I heard that. Come on, it's time for your training session."

"And then we can finish making those cookies," Esme suggests.

"After that, we should go hunting, Bells," Emmett adds.

I look contritely at Edward's frowning face. "Sorry, Edward," I shrug helplessly.

"Oh, love, no need to be sorry," Edward reassures, smiling at me. "I need to learn how to share. But," he points a finger at me, "after you go hunting with Emmett, for the rest of the night, you're _mine_." He nips my shoulder as he says 'mine'.

I shiver at his words. "Can it be the rest of the night now?"

He grins at me, his topaz eyes dark and happy as he helps me off the bed. "Sorry, love, but Jasper really wants to stay on schedule with this whole training thing."

I sigh. "I just can't wait until the school year is over. That way, we have tons of time to be together."

"Oh, sweetheart," Edward pulls me close. "Never worry about time. We have forever."

"Forever," I test the word out with a smile. "I guess I'm finally starting to like the sound of that."

* * *

**There you go! Next chapter we fast forward a month to PROM night and graduation. Any predictions as to what happens then? To find out, REVIEW and I'll send you a sneak preview. For those who have their PMs disabled, I'm sorry but I have no way of sending you a sneak preview :( **

**I'll try really hard to update next week, but reviews will motivate me :) **

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	19. Prom

**Now here is Chapter 19! A big thanks to those who reviewed. Enjoy! **

* * *

_And we danced  
Out there on that empty hardwood floor  
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low  
The music played, we held each other close  
And we danced  
Like no one else had ever danced before  
I can't explain what happened on that floor  
But the music played  
We held each other close  
And we danced  
Yeah, we danced  
_We Danced—Brad Paisley

_Well it might be me  
But the way I see it,  
The whole wide world has gone crazy.  
So baby, why don't we just dance [Bouncing off the walls, floating on air]  
Oh baby why don't we just dance?  
_Why Don't We Just Dance—Josh Turner

* * *

**Friday, June 12th 3:15 P.M. **_(One Month Later) _

As soon as the Volvo comes to a stop and the love of my life gets off, I'm charging him. "Oof," he says as he stumbles back from the force of my hug. "I missed you, too, love." He laughs as he hugs me back.

"Finally, Edward! School's out!" I squeal, pulling back to pepper kisses all over his face.

It's been a month since Edward and I have been together and what a glorious month it has been. I fall in love with Edward a little more each day and for the past thirty days it's been like we can't get enough of each other. Within a week, though, we realized that we had to have a better balance seeing as we were so absorbed with the other that we were neglecting our understanding family and our duties. So, we slowly broke into a routine.

While he was in school, Esme and I happily cooked and cleaned. When everyone came home from school at 3:15, Edward and I would greet each other before I went hunting with Emmett. Upon return, Carlisle would arrive and then we'd have a training session for one to two hours. Afterwards, the whole family would spend time together in the living room. I would usually play chess with Carlisle and Edward would play video games with his brothers. Then, at exactly ten o'clock, Edward and I would retire to my room—which was quickly becoming _our_ room—and the next eight hours were ours. It was eight hours where it was just the two of us with no distractions. We talked, laughed, laid together, read, listened to music, and yes, we kissed plenty. But, alas, the time would come when Edward would leave for school, and the cycle would start all over again. But that is all about to change because today was the last day of school and—

"It's summer!" Emmett cheers, jumping out of the car with a fist pump. He puts his hand up, presumably so that Rose, who is standing right next to him, can high-five him. She does so quickly before turning to Alice.

"Come on, Alice, we need to get a move on," Rose growls, already halfway to the door.

Alice nods in agreement before grabbing my arm and tugging me away from Edward. "Alice," I hiss, pulling my hand away from hers. "What are you doing?"

Alice widens her golden eyes. "Oh, Bella, don't tell me you forgot."

"I didn't forget, but I don't see how it has anything to do with me," I say somewhat bitterly. Its prom night, and for obvious reasons, I'm not going. Which I am fine with. Really, I am…

Alice sighs and rolls her eyes like she doesn't have time for this. "Just come on. We'll explain later."

"But…" I look wistfully over my shoulder at Edward. I smile when I see that he is looking intently at me. He grins when we make eye contact and waves a little at me.

"Oh my god, Bella, can you please leave him for a few hours. Please?" Alice pleas. Wow, she must be serious about this. "This is really important, you know that. Help Rose and I."

I sigh and turn back to face her. "Alright, alright. I'll help. Of course I'll help."

Alice claps her hands in excitement. "Great! Now let's go already." She takes my arm again. I follow her, but not before looking back one more time at Edward. When he sees me looking, he blows me a kiss just as we walk through the front door.

oOo

Rose is already sitting in front of her vanity mirror when Alice and I enter her room. She spins around in her chair to face us. "Took you long enough," she says as a way of greeting.

"Not my fault." Alice rushes towards her. "Now, come on, let's do your hair."

"How do you want it?" I ask Rose, picking up a brush.

She purses her lips in thought. "Let's curl it," she says after a minute.

"Curl it?" Alice repeats incredulously.

Rose nods. "I want to do something different."

"Well, I wish you would have decided this earlier in the day, Rose," Alice frets as she dashes to the bathroom and comes out with a curler. "This is going to take forever." She sighs. "Start curling, Bella," she hands the curler to me, "I have another one in my bathroom."

Alice is right. It takes about an hour and a half to turn Rose's long, pin-straight hair curly. Minutes in, Alice had to ask Esme for some help, and in a few seconds, Esme joined us with a curler in her own hand, leaving me to wonder how many curlers the Cullens own. After much talking, laughing, and curling, we finally finish and move back to admire our work.

Esme whistles. "Wow, Rose, darling, it's wonderful." She's right. It's not too curly and frames her face perfectly. I touch one of Rose's blond ringlets. Silky smooth.

Rose smirks. "I know." We all roll our eyes and laugh at her.

"Okay now we have three hours until we need to go," Alice says, back to business mode. "Bella, help me with my hair. Esme, do Rose's make-up." Esme and I look at each other, but sigh and follow Alice's instructions. Alice and I move to her room and once Alice is sitting in her own vanity mirror, I move behind her.

"How do you want it?" I question, playing with her hair.

She cocks her head to the side. "I think just straight will work."

"No spikes?" I ask. Shaping her short, black hair into spikes has been her style lately.

"No spikes," she confirms. She smiles when I sigh in relief. This won't take long at all.

"Alright, go to the bathroom and wash your hair so we can get all of this the gel out. Then, I'll brush it and work from there." She nods and heads off to the bathroom. I smile. I'm actually getting good at this hair and make-up stuff. Soon, I decide to see if Esme needs help with Rose and I head back to Rose's room, only to find the two arguing over lipstick color.

"Don't you think it's too red, dearie?" Esme asks dubiously, studying a lipstick case.

"Nope," Rose answers, crossing her arms over her chest.

I laugh. "You might as well give in, Esme," I advise. "She's too stubborn."

"Oh, _I'm_ stubborn. That's rich, Bella, coming from you." Rose snorts, but then smiles at me. In the last month, Rose and I have worked on becoming closer and now we are very good friends.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever. Now, Esme give Rose the lipstick so she can put it on herself. I'll put on some blush and you can do her eyes."

Two hours later, Alice's hair is brushed and finished and both Rose's and Alice's make-up are done. Their nails are painted and their accessories are picked out and put on. All of this with still an hour left until the girls have to put on their dresses. Esme and I fall back onto Rose's bed, exhausted.

"Oh, Bella," Alice draws out my name in a sing-song voice.

I groan. She has that mischievous twinkle in her eye and Rose is smirking at me.

"It's your turn," says Rose.

I furrow my eyebrows. "_What?_"

"Let us do your hair and make-up, _please_." Alice jumps onto the bed and bounces on it next to me.

"And why do I need my hair and make-up done?"

"It'll be fun!" Alice says like it's obvious. I snort.

Rose moves to join us on the bed and she surprisingly puts an arm around me and speaks in a gentle voice, "We know how hard this must be on you—"

"What are you talking about?" I interrupt, confused.

They blink at me.

"Well, you must feel left out that everyone, including Edward, is going to prom," Alice says tentatively.

Yup, you read right. Edward is going to prom. _Without me_. I guess that up until a week ago, I had assumed that he would not go, seeing as I can't go. Yeah, I was wrong. I heard him last week whispering to Alice about tux sizes and yada yada. Since that day forward, he's always been having whispered conversations with either Rose or Alice, and every time the subject of prom comes up, no one mentions him not going. I've never outright asked him if he was going because I soon realized that that would be a stupid question. Of course he is going to his own prom. Its junior year and that's what juniors do at the end of the year.

I'm not mad.

Really I'm not.

Okay…I am slightly bothered by it. I mean, there are going to be a ton of women at the dance. Beautiful women in beautiful gowns. And I trust Edward, I do, I just don't trust those women to keep their hands off of him. Without me there, he has no date, and thus, the women will start thinking he's single. What if they flirt with him? What if they ask him to dance? And really, it _is_ a dance, so of course he is going to dance. I have to accept that. He's going to dance with women at the fancy schmacy dance.

I'm okay with that.

Really.

And, oh, say that I'm not okay with it. What am I supposed to do? I can't tell him not to go to the dance. Of course he has to go. It's his _prom_. But there is still a little part of me that's questioning why he wants to go in the first place. Doesn't he know what this is doing to me? I've spent the last week tormenting myself with images of him dancing with other girls while I'm stuck at home. He's never been one for social outings, so why go to this one? Hasn't he been to thousands of proms already? Won't he have a thousand more proms to go to? I guess a little part of me—okay, a large part of me—wants him to stay home, just this _one_ time. But, of course, this is a selfish thought and so I never voiced it. I just have to accept it. Edward is going to put on a tux, look beautiful, and dance the night away.

Which is fine.

Really.

So I adamantly shake my head at Alice. "I don't mind that Edward is going to prom," I say firmly, yet don't meet her eyes.

"You're a terrible liar, Bella." Rose sounds amused. I ignore this.

"Come on, we have an hour to spare. Let Rose and I have some fun. Where is the harm?" Alice pleas.

"It really can't hurt, dear," Esme chimes in.

I groan. They're ganging up on me. "Fine." I sigh, shrugging. I can just wash it all away afterwards.

Alice squeals and pushes me toward the vanity mirror. I sit down reluctantly.

"Okay, Rose, do her make-up. Esme and I will get the straightener," Alice orders.

"Straightener?"

"Yup." Alice smiles. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your waves, but let's do something different."

I sigh my compliance. Fifty minutes later, they finally spin me around so I can see myself in the mirror. I gasp. My brown hair is now pin-straight and only down one shoulder. I have light blush on my cheeks, lip-gloss—I put my foot down on Rose's red lipstick—mascara, eyeliner, and a dark blue eye shadow. It's simple and natural and I love it.

"So…you like?" Alice asks when I don't say anything.

"No, I _love_." I smile at them through the mirror.

"Oh, honey, we didn't do much. We just enhanced the beauty that was already there." Esme pats my shoulder.

My smile widens. "Thanks, Esme." I spin back around to face them. "Now, go get into your dresses and put your shoes on," I tell Rose and Alice. "We only have twenty minutes until you need to go. Go, go, go." Esme and I shoo them into Rose's huge, walk-in closet. They go, giggling and nearly vibrating in excitement.

Minutes later Rose's voice comes from deep within the closed closest. "Ready for a show?" she asks in a sultry voice. Esme and I hoot and holler. "Well, go on, introduce Alice," she prompts.

Esme smiles before closing her fist and holding it to her mouth like it's a microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen," she starts, making her voice deeper than usual. "Prepare yourself because here comes Alice Cullen."

At this, Alice pushes the closet doors open and strikes a dramatic pose. I clap and whistle as she slowly struts toward us.

"And she is a beauty," Esme continues to talk into her 'microphone,' grinning. "She's wearing a knee-length, flirty dress that has a sparkling blue sequined sweatheart strapless top that turns into a nice contrasting black bottom that flares beautifully.. It's a beautiful dress that shows off her legs and chest and the sequins are so very Alice. Her short black hair, courtesy of Bella, is simply straight and done into a nice, Rihanna-like crop. She has shimmery lip-gloss and a light blush on and her glittery eye make-up matches her dress and brings out those darling golden eyes of her. She has blue, dangling earrings and a matching bracelet. She is also sporting a beautiful black heart hanging from a delicate chain, a necklace that her wonderful husband bestowed upon her on Valentine's day. She's wearing open, strappy, black heels that make her legs look miles long and a lot taller than usual. Overall, Alice looks inviting, flirty, and fun and is fully prepared to have a blast at prom!"

The whole time Esme speaks, Alice is doing a runway walk around the room, pausing every few seconds to look dramatically off into the distance. Esme and I work hard to contain our laughter. When Esme is finished, we clap and Alice curtsies at us before sitting down next to us on the bed.

"You have this one, Bella?" she questions.

I nod and make my own 'microphone.' "Now, without further ado, here is Rosalie Hale Cullen." Rosalie struts out, giving us a pose. Esme immediately gasps and claps as Alice starts to pretend to take pictures with a 'camera.'

"Wow, Rose has chosen to go with a black, floor-length dress that compliments her pale skin perfectly. The asymmetrical strap is adorned with jewels that shimmer in the light. The dress is tight at the top, though allows some slivers of skin show, such as above the chest area and above the waist. It flows to the floor where there is one thigh-high slit that shows one of Rose's long, toned legs and its silver, 3-inch high heel. The dress is elegant yet sexy without being trashy. She pairs the dress with silver, long earrings and a black, jeweled bracelet. Her controlled blond curls tumble down to the end of her chest. Her lips are a bright, sexy red that contrasts with her creamy skin. A shimmery blush and smoky eye make-up goes perfectly with her look, a look that is sexy and just _badass._" A throat clears. "Oh, sorry, Esme. Didn't mean to say that," I say sheepishly.

Rose bows, turning the attention back to her and Esme, Alice and I give her a standing ovation.

"Oh, you girls are so beautiful!" Esme exclaims and she and I hug them both. "Now, come, come, we need to get pictures. Ooh, wait until Emmett and Jasper see you two!" Esme ushers them out the door, gushing all the way down the stairs, and I'm left standing, feeling very alone. I contemplate joining everyone downstairs, but I don't think I can stand to see Edward all dressed up, leaving for a night of fun without me. Instead, I walk slowly to my own room and shut the door. I blast my stereo, grab a book, and plop down onto my bed. I try to ignore the sounds of adoration from Jasper and Emmett, the pictures being taken, the claps and giggles. I sigh heavily. Then, I hear the unmistakable sound of an engine starting and then pulling out. They're gone.

Okay, okay, I can understand Edward going to his prom, but what I can't accept is the fact that he left without even saying a goodbye to me. I never thought he'd do that. Hurt, I throw my book across the room. Then, feeling stupid because reading the book is probably the only thing that will distract me from dreary thoughts, I stand up and make my way to it. On the way, I glance at myself in the mirror. I feel ridiculous with my hair done and make-up on and no dress. I sigh before starting to walk to the bathroom, prepared to wash the make-up off and pull my hair into a messy bun. But, before I can, I hear a soft knock on the door. Grumbling, thinking that it's Carlisle or Esme trying to cheer me up, I walk slowly towards the door. When I open it, though, there is no one there. Sniffing, I pick up Edward's scent, but that can't be possible. He's at prom. Confused, I look around and then see a folded piece of elegant paper on the floor. Surprised, I pick it up, unfold it, and read what's inside.

_Dear Bella,_

_Look inside your closest. _

_Get ready for a night full of dancing,_

_Edward_

_P.S. Please __don't__ take your time, love. I'm waiting and missing you downstairs. _

My smile is so big it hurts. "I love you, Edward," I whisper giddily, knowing he can hear me from downstairs. I kiss the card before running straight to my closest. I open it only to see a gorgeous dress on a hanger that definitely wasn't there before today. Attached to the dress is another piece of paper.

_Dear Bella,_

_-I hope you like the dress! And I won't hear a thing about the price. It was worth it, trust me. Oh, and check the top of your dresser to find accessories. I also got Edward his tux. Yeah, you're welcome. _

_You're going to look beautiful! Alice. _

_-Please remember that you are a vampire and therefore have perfect balance, so, no, you will not trip and fall if you wear the heels I got you. _

_Knock my brother out (literally, please), Rose_

_-Bella, we all know how much you wanted to go to prom, so I hope you like this surprise. You and Edward have a fabulous time together. _

_Love you both, Carlisle_

_-Carlisle and I are going to stay out hunting, so you and Edward have the house all to yourselves and you guys get some much needed privacy. I bet you're going to look lovely, dearie. _

_Take Pictures! Esme_

_Have Fun! Jasper_

_But not too much fun…I'm watching you, Emmett_

Aw, I love my family. I put the card down, smiling, and I take out my dress. I quickly put it on, look down at the strappy, two-inch blue-gray heels and reluctantly put those on too. Next, I move to the dresser and put on beautiful silver earrings and a matching bracelet. Finally, I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror. I gasp when I see my reflection. I now know why Alice and Rose wanted to do my hair and make-up. Everything fit together perfectly. The dress is gorgeous. It's a beautiful navy blue dress that goes sublimely with my skin. It has one jeweled strap that leads into a V-neckline. The top of the dress is tight and has soft ruching. The dress then flows neatly and pools down at my feet. There is one side-slit that shows off my bare leg, but I self-consciously cover it back up. All in all, Alice and Rose are miracle workers.

Bursting with excitement, I start towards the stairs. When I get to the top, I see Edward waiting at the bottom with a bouquet of flowers. I draw in a breath at the sight of him. He looks incredibly dashing in his suit. Feeling like a princess, I slowly descend the stairs. When I finally reach the bottom step, we stare at each other.

"Wow," we both breathe at the same time before laughing.

"Um, here," Edward holds out the flowers.

I take them gladly, seeing that they are purple roses. "My favorite."

He grins. "Oh! And, don't forget this." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a navy silk rose corsage. He gently slides it onto my wrist.

"Thank you," I say genuinely. I've never thought I'd get one of these. I bring it close so I can examine it. "It's beautiful, Edward."

"You're beautiful," Edward counters, smiling at me. I look down shyly. "I mean, you can wear sweats and look beautiful, but now, like this, just…_wow." _He places a hand on my shoulder, coaxing me to look at him. "Really, you're the most gorgeous girl in the world." His golden eyes bore into mine and glow with sincerity.

"Well," I grin, tugging on his tie that I now notice matches my dress color, "then it's really fitting that I'm with the most handsome man on the planet. I wish you could wear a suit all the time."

"Well, sorry, but you're alone in that sentiment. These shoes are so terribly uncomfortable." He gestures toward his black dress shoes.

"Hey, at least you're not wearing heels," I counter, moving to show him my heel, which inadvertently opens the slit and reveals my bare leg.

"Damn," he breathes, staring shamelessly at it. "Remind me to thank Alice later."

My laugh is cut off by his lips crashing onto mine. We kiss passionately until he unexpectantly pulls back. My eyes are still closed and lips still puckered, confused at the abrupt end.

Edward leans in to whisper into my ear, "Open your eyes, love."

I do so and gasp. I realize that while we were kissing, Edward had led us to the middle of the living room. At the same time, I realize that the living room is no longer the living room. The furniture has been pushed against the wall and rose petals are spread haphazardly across the floor. The lights are off and the only source of light comes from the brightly lit candles spread around the room.

"Wha-?" I stutter out in surprise.

Edward holds up a finger for me to wait before dashing to the stereo and turning it on. Immediately, soft, romantic notes fill the room and he's next to me again. "You were saying?" He grins, looking pleased with himself.

"Oh my god, Edward!" I exclaim. "This is amazing! How did you do this? Why did you do this? Did I tell you how amazing this is? I love you so much, Edward. B-but why? And—"

"Slow down, love," Edward chuckles, warm and slow. "I did this so you could have your own prom. I don't want you missing out on any human experience."

I hug him tightly. "That's so sweet," I whisper to him. "But now I feel bad. I made you miss prom."

Edward laughs. "Oh, Bella, I've never been to prom."

"Really?" I ask in surprise.

"Of course not. I never had a reason to. And are you really upset that I didn't go to prom?" He raises a dubious eyebrow.

I shake my head. "No, I'm really glad you stayed here or else I would have had to go out and kill some unfortunate girl who decided to dance or hit on you." My eyes narrow at the thought.

"My, my, Bella, I think I like this jealous side of you." Edward smiles. "Tell me more, please."

I laugh. "Well, I would show no mercy. She would deserve it too. No one puts their hands on my man," I say firmly.

"Your man?"

I nod. "Yup, you're mine. Don't try to deny it."

He grins. "Oh, I wouldn't dare. It's true, though. I'm yours," he agrees, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Trust me, Bella," he whispers, "the first time I go to prom it will be with you, two, three years from now. In fact, I can't believe you thought that I would go to prom _without you_. As if I could stand to be away from you for more than one second. As if I would want to dance with anyone other than you."

My heart flips. "Well, for saying that I think you deserve a kiss." I stand on my tip-toes to peck his lips gently.

Edward hums. "Mmm, I do love your kisses."

"Ooh, for that you get another one." I kiss him again.

He smiles. "I mean, I _really _love your kisses." His eyes are dark and his voice raspy and I know he's hoping to get another kiss.

I comply. He moves his hands to cradle my face, not letting me pull away this time, though I don't try too hard. "Do you really think we'll be together three years from now?" I whisper against his lips.

He pulls abruptly back in surprise. "Of course. I think of you and me forever. Don't you?" He looks nervous now.

"Of course _I_ do," I assure him.

"Then why do you think I think differently?" Edward cocks his head to the side. "Why do you doubt my love for you?" Great, Bella, now he looks hurt.

"I don't. I do know you love me…I guess I'm still questioning the _why_," I say, shrugging. "Forgive me, but it's still unbelievable that _you _love _me_. I mean, look at this. Look at what you did for me," I gesture to the flowers and candles. "This is incredible. You're incredible. But what did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve _you_?"

"Bella, you do deserve me, trust me, love." He kisses the top of my head again. "You do trust me, right?" He stares questionably into my eyes. I smile and nod with no hesitation. He kisses my cheek this time. "Then trust that I love you, please. I do love you, Bella. You're everything to me." Now he kisses my lips deeply before groaning and pulling back. "I can't get enough of you, but now I forget what we were talking about." I giggle at his dazed face. "Oh yeah," he turns serious again. "Isn't loving you a good enough reason to do all this?"

"It is," I agree. "But that's just it. I can't do these things for _you_. For obvious reasons, I can't go out and buy you presents. I feel like you give so much and…" I look at his curious and patient face and sigh. I reach up to give him a tender kiss, knowing that he won't like what I say next. "But I feel like I don't give anything back."

"Why would you say that?" I was right. He doesn't exactly look happy with me now. "You can't honestly believe that." I look at the ground. "Hey," Edward coaxes me to look at him and when I do, his intense eyes make me hold his gaze. "You're wrong. You give me something more than what money can buy. Trust me, I'm the one that's struggling to give back what _you_ have given _me_."

"You really feel that way?" I furrow my eyebrows, surprised. He nods and I laugh.

"What?" he asks, confused.

"It's just that I guess I'll always see myself as the lucky one, and for some reason, you will always see yourself as the lucky one." I shrug and smile. "That's not so bad, right?"

He grins in agreement. "No, it's not. But how about we try to agree that we are both equally lucky. Lucky that we found each other, that we feel loved, and that we've been given a second chance at happiness."

I smile at him. "I like the sound of that, Edward Cullen."

"Well, Bella Cullen, I—" He stops at my wrinkled nose. "What? You don't like Bella Cullen?"

I shake my head. "I mean, I am part of this family, but if I have the same last name of you and we're not married, then that means I'm like you're sister or something."

"That would be a tragedy," Edward says seriously, "because that would mean that I couldn't do this." He kisses me.

I smile against his lips and bury my hands into his soft hair. "That would be disastrous," I agree, returning his kiss fervently. His hands move to the small of my back, pushing slightly so I'm fully pressed against him. His lips sweetly caress my own and I sigh blissfully, letting everything I have go into that kiss.

Minutes later, Edward pulls back, both of us out of breath. "Bella," he whispers, fingering my lips that I'm sure would be swollen by now if I was human. "You do know I can't go back to that, right? To a brother-sister relationship. I mean, if you ever break-up with me, then I'd be happy to go back to being your best friend, but otherwise—"

"What are you talking about, Edward?" I ask, concerned. "I would never break-up with you. Never."

He breathes a sigh of relief. "I was hoping you'd say that because I mean it when I say I can't go back. Not when I know what being with you feels like."

"What does it feel like?" I smile. He grins back.

"Glorious. Knowing you love me has made me the happiest man ever and I can't thank you enough for that." His thumb caresses my cheek.

"I can't thank you enough either. What you've done tonight…it's amazing. Really. I would have never gone to prom if I had never met you, so thank you for giving me this."

"You're welcome." He smiles softly at me. "And really? You wouldn't have gone to prom this year if you were still…you know, human?"

"Oh, no, of course not." He still looks surprised. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, it's just that I wondered if you would be happier if you were going to an actual prom with a human boy." He shrugs and avoids my eyes.

"What? Edward, come on, you know better than that," I say in surprise. He shrugs again. I reach up and cradle his face gently in my hands. "This is better than any prom, trust me. And I love _you_. I couldn't be happy with anyone else. You're _it_ for me." I sigh as my hands move away from his face. "Now who is doubting the other's love?"

Edward surprisingly grins at this. "Well, let's bring in some assurance, huh? I got you something." I groan and Edward laughs. "You know most girls would be happy to hear those words come out of their boyfriend's mouth."

"Well, I'm not most girls," I counter.

Edward agrees wholeheartedly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a red ring box. Oh god, I hope that's not a—

He opens the box and, thankfully, presents me with no diamond, but instead a simple silver ring with a topaz gem that matches his eyes perfectly.

"I got this promise ring for you to show you how committed I am to this relationship, how committed I am to _you_." He slides the ring onto my right ring finger. "Happy anniversary, love."

Feeling stupid that I didn't realize he would want to celebrate our one month anniversary, I mumble lamely, "But I didn't get you anything."

He smiles. "Oh, yes, you did."

I furrow my eyebrows, but Edward just digs into his pocket, pulls out another ring box, and places it onto my palm. My eyes widen in realization of what he wanted me to do. I open the box and pull out a sturdier looking silver ring with the word forever etched across it in topaz letters.

"Edward," I slide the ring onto his own ring finger, "I give you this ring to promise you that I will love you forever."

Edward's eyes darken at this. "See? Now every time we doubt the other's love, we can look at these rings and remember that what we have is for forever."

I nod and smile widely. "Thank you, Edward. It's so beautiful." I look closely at the ring, realizing how much it probably cost. "It's perfect for me…but it must have been so expensive. I could never pay you back-"

"Oh, but you can," Edward interrupts, a mischievous twinkle in his topaz eyes.

"What do you mean? I wish I could, but I have no money—"

"I'm not talking about money, Bella. You can pay me back by dancing with me."

"Dancing?" I repeat dumbly.

He nods, his face shining in excitement. "Won't you dance with me? I've been daydreaming about dancing with you for days now."

"But…I can't really dance," I say, embarrassed.

"What do you mean?" He furrows his eyebrows. "You dance every day with Esme."

"Well…yes, but that's fast-paced music…and I've never slow-danced with anyone," I admit sheepishly, expecting him to laugh at me. But instead of doing so, he pulls me closer, takes a hand in one of his, holds it out, and uses his free hand to place my other hand on his shoulder before placing his hand gently on my hip.

"Do you know," he whispers into my ear, his voice deep and husky, "what it does to me to know that no other man has held you this close? What it does to me to know that I am the only man who will ever dance with you? What it does to me to know that no one other than me will ever kiss you here," he kisses my shoulder, "or here," my growls against my neck, "or here," and finally he kisses my lips. "Bella?"

I mumble something incoherent, still drunk on his words and mesmerized by his voice.

"You're dancing," he says triumphantly.

I widen my eyes only to see that he's right. My hips are unconsciously moving side to side. He planned this out, I realize—while I'm distracted, lead me to sway in beat with the music. "You sneaky bas—" he kisses me before the word is out and I laugh.

"I love you," I say seriously.

"You're my world," he answers simply before going back to kissing me, which I don't mind one bit.

And so for the next two hours, Edward and I dance and twirl around the room, and all the while Edward is singing into my ear. It's perfect. The only time we stop dancing is to kiss…so yeah, we stop every ten minutes and don't go back to dancing for another twenty minutes. I'm on cloud nine and I never want the night to end. Alas, though, Edward's phone beeps with a text message.

Edward sighs and takes his phone out of his pocket. "Be there in twenty, Alice," Edward reads the text out loud with a groan. Edward and I frown at each other before I smile.

"Thinking what I'm thinking?" I ask.

He grins, getting it. "Meadow?" I nod. "Great! Let's go." He starts to tug on my arm, but I stop him.

"Hold on, we have to change." I gesture to our dress clothes.

He nods. "Okay, let's go upstairs and meet back—oh, wait!" He disappears for a second before returning with a black camera and its tripod stand. "Esme wants pictures," he explains before setting the camera on the stand.

"Uh, before you set the timer, you might want to put your jacket back on," I point out sheepishly. During one of our more passionate kisses, I had taken his suit jacket off and thrown it somewhere.

Edward laughs, looking a little shy himself. "Oh, yeah." He goes to retrieve his jacket from behind the couch. "And you might want to…" he motions towards my hair, which he had continuously ran his fingers through.

"Yeah…you, too."

We both laugh as we rearrange our hair to not make it obvious that we had just made-out. "Okay, ready?" Edward asks when we're done and positioned in front of the camera.

I nod. He puts a hand around me and I lean into his side. "The timer should go off in ten seconds. Say cheese."

"Cheese? What are we, humans?" I joke. "I think the phrase you're looking for is 'say cheetah.'" We both laugh at that and the camera flashes. I groan. "We need to retake that. My eyes are probably closed."

"Nonsense. We are keeping it. You look beautiful when you laugh."

I smile at him and decide it's better to agree with him. "Alright, we keep it. So ready to go change?"

oOo

Ten minutes later, I am once again standing at the top of the stairs and Edward at the bottom.

"Ah, there she is." He smiles his crooked grin when he sees me descending.

At the sight of that smile, I replace my walk with a run, and soon I'm jumping into his open arms. I wrap my legs around his waist. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He grins, kissing my nose sweetly.

I laugh. "We're such cheeseballs. We've only been apart for ten minutes."

Edward smiles at my laugh. "We're in love, so we're allowed to be cheeseballs. By the way," he cocks his head to his side, "what exactly is a cheeseball?"

I laugh again. "Nothing. So ready?" I hop down from his arms. "We only have like two minutes until the others get here."

He nods. "But first, I must say you look just as beautiful as you did ten minutes ago."

I look incredulously down at my skinny jeans and his huge sweatshirt—he loves it when I wear his clothes—that have replaced my dress. "You _are_ a cheeseball," I accuse, smiling.

"What _is_ a cheeseball?" He looks adorably confused.

"Someone who is _cheesy_," I explain, grinning happily at him. "But don't worry," I add to his raised eyebrow, "you're in love so you're allowed to be cheesy, right?"

He laughs. "It's true. I am in love."

"With who?" I demand in mock outrage.

He laughs again and pulls me close. "You know, I might be a cheeseball, but you, my dear, are a _goofball."_

I grin. "You know, before I met you no one would have called me that, but I guess this whole love thing has made me so…_carefree_."

"Good, I'm glad." Edward grins. "Now ready to go?"

I nod. So we walk out of the house hand in hand, both of our promise rings glinting in the moonlight.

* * *

**There you go! And I know, I actually updated in one week. I worked hard to do so because I'm off to sleepaway camp for the next three weeks and I won't be able to update until I get back, so I wanted to update one more time before I leave on Sunday. Anyway, I hoped you liked the chapter and next update we'll flash forward another month to Edward's birthday! REVIEW to get a sneak preview.**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review :) **

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	20. Edward's Birthday

**Well, here is chapter 20! Thank you to all my reviewers :) Enjoy!**

* * *

_Your birthday as my own to me is dear...  
But yours gives most; for mine did only lend  
Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend.  
~Martial_

* * *

**Saturday, June 20th 3:00 P.M. **(_Eight Days Later)_

It wasn't until a week ago that I realized the significance of today. When I remembered, I sprinted downstairs, grateful for once that Edward was out of the house hunting with Esme and Jasper. Everyone else was situated in the living room. They looked up in surprise as I rushed into the room.

"What's up, Bella?" Carlisle had asked in concern.

"I feel so bad!" I threw my hands in the hair, frazzled. "I forgot all about Edward's birthday. I'm the worst girlfriend ever! I mean, I have perfect memory, yet—"

"Woah, Bells, calm down," Emmett cautioned, grinning his easy grin.

"Yeah, Bella. Don't you know that we don't celebrate birthdays?" Alice said.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "Why not?"

"Uh because we're vampires," Rose said in her classic duh voice. "Why would we? It's not like we're getting any older. We'll always stay the same age," she added, somewhat bitterly.

"But still!" I insisted. "It's the day you were born. I mean, on September 13th I'm turning 18. Will I actually be 18? No, but the day does mark the fact that I've been on Earth for eighteen years. That's something to celebrate. Especially for Edward. He's turning a hundred and…something."

"Well, we can celebrate your birthday if you want, Bella," Carlisle reasoned. "You are, afterall, only turning eighteen. But birthdays for the rest of us just make us feel old."

"Plus, birthdays in general are stupid. Especially for humans. I don't get why they celebrate it. Like woo-hoo, we're one year closer to death. It's ridiculous." Rose rolled her eyes.

I sighed, exasperated, seeing the others nod their heads in agreement. Looks like I wasn't going to win this one. Carlisle looked at me sympathetically. "Let's comprise."

Despite everything, I grinned at him. "Is that your solution to everything?"

"Well, Bella, if you spent enough years living with these children of mine, you soon learn that compromise is the only solution that doesn't end up in a fight." He winked at me.

"Fair enough." I smiled. "So, let's see." I tapped my chin thoughtfully as I sat down next to Rose. "How about we don't celebrate birthdays, but we at least acknowledge them—" Everyone groaned. "Hey! Let me finish. We acknowledge them by doing something together as a family. Something that everyone would enjoy."

"Like what?" Emmett looked dubious.

"Ooh, ooh, I know!" Alice raised her hand. "Let's have a birthday party!"

I blinked at her. "Alice, were you not listening? I said something that _everyone _in the family would enjoy."

Rose smirked. "Now, now, Bella, maybe she's onto something. I mean, why not have a party? You know how many human friends we all have." Me and her laughed at this.

Alice pouted. "I liked it better when you two weren't all buddy-buddy."

Rose and I looked at each other, but then quickly looked away, a smile on our faces.

"Well, then, what are we gonna do?" Emmett questioned, starting to sound excited.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Something that Edward would like to do."

"I know exactly what Edward would like to do," Rose whispered, waggling her eyebrows.

My mouth dropped in shock and I looked away in severe embarrassment.

Thankfully, Carlisle changed the subject. "I think I know what we're doing." He stared straight at the wall across the T.V. like it held all the answers.

Emmett stared at the wall too for a second before shaking his head. "Well, guys, looks like Carlisle finally lost his marbles. Knew it had to happen eventually."

"Come now, Emmett," said Carlisle. "You must remember what happened to that wall before Esme had it fixed."

"Oh, good idea, Carlisle!" Alice clapped her hands.

Emmett frowned before his eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah! Sweet!"

"Alice, is there going to be a thunderstorm on the night of Edward's birthday?" Rose asked.

Alice's golden eyes clouded over for a second before a grin spread along her face. "Yup. A big one, too."

Emmett fist pumped the air and Carlisle sat back, a pleased expression painted on his face.

I wrinkled my eyebrows in utter confusion. "Um, I'm sorry, I have no idea what…"

"Before you came," Alice started to explain, "we played baseball every chance we got—"

"_Baseball?" _I asked incredulously.

"It's an American pastime!" Emmett said defensively.

"Even vampires indulge in sports from time to time," Carlisle added.

"Of course," Rose grinned, "It's not at all like the humans play it. It's much more fun."

"Okay," I said slowly, "but how does this relate to Edward's birthday?"

"Well, see, a month before you came, Edward and I were playing catch outside with a baseball—"

"Don't leave out the part where you guys thought it would be fun to do this blindfolded," Rose interrupted.

"Awesome, right?" Emmett grinned. "So we were playing catch, and I guess my throw was too awesome because Edward missed it—"

"—because it was an awful throw. You were trying to throw the ball using just your left pinky."

Emmett groaned. "Rosie, baby, I'm the one telling the story here." Rose held her hands up in surrender and made a 'go-on' gesture. "Alright, so bottom line, the ball hit the house and crashed through three walls before stopping in the kitchen. When Esme found out she said as punishment no one was allowed to touch another baseball until she said otherwise."

"Well," Carlisle had leaned back into his seat, "looks like it's finally time for Esme to say otherwise."

Now the day has finally come. Since midnight, I've wanted to wish Edward a very happy birthday, but the family made me promise that I wouldn't tell him anything until we are about ready to head out to the field. Edward, as Alice explained, is not an eavesdropper. If he sees that a family member is blocking his or her thoughts, he will respect his or her privacy and won't seek out what he or she is hiding. But if he knows that we know that it's his birthday and that we're keeping his present a surprise, he would dig into our minds until he finds out the plan. And, according to Alice, everything is more fun if it's a surprise. So mum's the word for now.

Hours later, Edward is definitely getting suspicious. The whole day everyone has been extra nice to him and I imagine everyone must be thinking some weird thoughts in order to hide our plans.

From the couch across from us, I see Emmett wink at me and give me a thumbs-up—his sign that it's time to head out. The Cullens silently walk out of the house and towards the garage where the bats and baseballs are hidden under a tarp. Then they are going to the clearing where Edward and I will soon join them. Edward's eyebrows furrow in confusion when the front door slams shut. He looks to me for answers, but I hold up a finger, silently telling him to wait, and then I zip up the stairs and into my room. Jasper told me that I would definitely get wet and muddy, so I know I can't wear these designer jeans Alice bought me. I quickly shed my clothes and grab white gym shorts, a shirt, and an old sweatshirt. Then I lift my pillow up and pick up my neatly-wrapped present. Smiling, I run back down the stairs and stand in front of Edward's bewildered face.

I blow a wisp of hair out of my face before realizing that Edward is glaring heatedly at my sweatshirt. "What is _that_?"

I look down at the maroon sweatshirt I donned that says _Phoenix High Football_ with a white outline of a football.

"Better yet," he adds, quirking an eyebrow, "where did you get it?"

I hand him his present instead of answering. "Open this first and then I'll explain."

Edward studies the small, rectangular gift in surprise. "What's this?"

"Your present, silly." I smile as I take the seat next to him. At his blank stare, I continue incredulously, "It's your birthday!"

"But, Bella, we don't—" he starts to protest.

"Yeah, yeah, you guys don't celebrate birthdays." I wave a hand dismissively. "But I talked to the others and we agreed that from now on on someone's birthday we will do something fun and family-oriented to acknowledge it. Now don't tell the others that I got you a present because we weren't supposed to give gifts. But, well," I shrug, "you're always giving me things, so I thought your birthday was a perfect excuse for me to be the one giving you a present for a change. Go on." I nod at the gift.

Edward smiles softly and tenderly kisses me. "Thank you," he whispers against my lips.

I grin, but crinkle my eyebrows. "You haven't opened your present yet."

"But I already know I'm going to love it," he says with certainty.

I'm not so sure about that. "It's not anything big, you know," I say nervously as he starts to unwrap it.  
"I would love to go to a mall or something, but I don't have any money, and I can't go into town. But I tried my best…if you don't like it, I can get something else." My words come out in one hurried, anxious breath.

Edward just gives me an amused, reassuring grin before moving the last bit of the brown wrapping away to reveal a beautiful, deep red picture frame with the word love in silver lettering along the bottom. Inside is the picture that we took on prom night that Esme developed for me. Edward has his arm around me and I'm leaning into him. Both of us are in mid-laugh, my head thrown back and Edward chuckling into my ear. Our eyes are happy, our faces loving.

Edward fingers the glass and smiles. "It's wonderful, Bella. This is definitely going on my bookshelf where I can see it easily. The picture frame is gorgeous, too."

I bite my lip. "I'm actually glad that you said that because it's my mom's and dad's."

Edward looks up at me, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when Esme gave me the picture, I immediately thought of this frame. See, when I was in middle school, I visited with my dad for a week and while there, I looked through his attic. And way down in a box were pictures of him and Renee. I remember I liked the picture that was in this frame the best. I picked it up, blew off the dust, and as I looked at my parents' happy faces, I remember wanting to have a love like they had. And it might be a bad omen to put our picture in this frame, seeing as my parents did get a divorce, but well, they did love each other at one point. Their love was captured in this frame, and now ours is too." I smile nervously, hoping he appreciates how much the frame and our picture means to me. By his adoring expression, I can see that he does.

He kisses my forehead. "But, love, how did you get the frame?"

"Oh, that's easy. I got Alice to sneak in and grab it. I also asked her to grab some other things like the compass my dad gave me, some more pictures, and some of the clothes I left there. Including this." I gesture to my sweatshirt.

"I imagine it once belonged to a teenage boy?" Edward raises an eyebrow.

Ah, that's why he doesn't like the sweatshirt. "Well, yes. Freshman year my neighbor gave me his old sweatshirt because it was chilly out one night, and it was so big and comfy that I always used to sleep with it on."

"Hmm." He frowns.

"Oh, Edward," I half scoff, half-laugh. "It's just a sweatshirt. It's not like I liked him or anything." I smile at his still displeased face. "If it makes you feel better, it's about to be ruined."

"Ruined? How?" He cocks his head to the side.

I smile in excitement and take his hands into my lap. "You know how I said the family agreed to do something fun for your birthday? Well, we're going to play" –cue dramatic pause—"baseball!"

Edward's eyes light up. "Really? But I thought Esme—"

"She made an exception for today. She and everyone else in this family know how much you love playing baseball..." I bite my lip.

"What's wrong?" Edward asks, squeezing my hands gently.

I smile faintly. He always knows when something is bothering me. "It's just that…I didn't know you liked baseball."

He shrugs, seeing nothing wrong with this. "Well, now you do."

"Yes, but…I don't know. Ever since I realized that your birthday was coming up, I've been thinking a lot about it."

"About what, love?" he asks, his topaz eyes curious and concerned.

"_You_. Well, your age specifically. Our age difference. You look my age, which is why I never really gave your real age any thought, but you're over a hundred. I mean, my god, the things you've seen and done and heard…You had this whole life before me, and I guess I keep forgetting that. I want to know why baseball is your favorite sport. I want to know what you were doing ten years ago. I want to know _everything_, Edward," I say eagerly, sincerely.

"Well, first," he brings my hands to his lips, "you have to understand that I had no life before you. Really," he adds, seeing my dubious expression. "I was just existing, nothing more. My world was black until you came in and lit it up." He kisses my knuckles gently. My heart clenches with my overflowing love for him and I smile. "Second," he continues, "we have forever to learn about each other, love."

"Forever," I agree, moving on top of him, my bent knees on either side of his thighs. I put my arms around his neck and peck his smiling lips. "I want you to tell me everything that made you who you are today."

Edward slides his hands down until they are resting on my hips. "Same here, love."

"But you already know everything about me," I point out.

"Oh, if only. Like, for example, I didn't know you had a friendly neighbor." He tugs on my sweatshirt.

My laugh is cut off by his soft lips. I waste no more time in kissing him back passionately. "Edward," I whimper slightly as he starts to trail his kisses down my neck, "we have to go—" He moves my sweatshirt aside and sucks at my shoulder. I gasp. "We have…" He digs his hands into my hair. "B-b-baseball." I stutter, yet at the same time I tilt his head up so his lips are back on mine. He smiles, knowing he's won me over—we aren't leaving for a long time.

Two seconds later, the phone rings.

Edward tells me to ignore it, but I know it's Alice and she will just keep calling and calling until we answer her. So with a whispered apology, I pull back. He groans. I stand up from the couch and pull him up too.

"Come on. Baseball is going to be fun!" I say enthusiastically.

He grins at me. "Of course it is. You're going to be there, are you not?"

I smile and kiss his cheek before pushing him towards the stairs. "Go upstairs and change." Seconds later, he comes down wearing jeans and a white shirt, twirling a black hat with his fingers.

"Here you go, love." He places that hat on my head. "It's my lucky hat."

I grin. "Luck. Good. I'm going to need it."

oOo

"About time!" Emmett exclaims when Edward and I arrive.

The Cullens jog over to us, the boys clad in faded jeans and the women in shorts.

"Happy birthday, son." Carlisle claps Edward on the shoulder. The rest of us echo the sentiment. Edward smiles his thanks.

"But don't think," Emmett warns, "that just because it's your birthday we're going to go easy on you."

Edward scoffs. "No need. I'll beat you fair and square. Jasper too."

"Ha!" Jasper rolls his eyes.

"Alright boys," Esme smiles fondly at them, "save the trash talk until you at least figure out the teams you are on."

"That's right," Carlisle agrees. "Now, I believe it's fitting for Esme and me to be the team captains?"

Everyone shrugs their consent and I silently move to the side.

"Love," Edward calls, frowning. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm going to watch over there." I point to the line of trees.

"What do you mean, watch?" Jasper asks.

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" I question.

"What do you mean, what do you mean, what do I mean?" he fires back.

"What do you—"

"Enough," Emmett rubs his forehead as if he has a headache.

Jasper and I smile at each other.

"Bella, you're playing with us," Rose informs in a voice that leaves no room for argument.

"But I've never played before," I protest. It's true. Much to Charlie's chagrin, I was never much of an athlete.

"There's a first time for everything, honey," Esme coaxes.

"Come, come." Carlisle waves me over.

"Yeah, Bella." Alice moves to grab my arm and tugs me back to the circle.

Edward hugs me to his side and I sigh my surrender. "But don't expect me to be any good," I warn. Edward kisses the top of my head reassuringly.

Just then we hear a clap of thunder and rain suddenly starts pouring down. I tilt my head upwards, letting the rain hit my face. From the corner of my eyes, I see Alice dancing around Emmett.

"See? And you doubted me?" She sticks her tongue at him.

"I did not. I just asked you if you were sure there was going to be thunderstorm tonight since five minutes ago it wasn't even raining," Emmett defends himself.

"Why is it so important that it thunderstorms?" I ask curiously.

"You'll see," Jasper promises.

"But first, we have to make up the teams. I'll go ahead and pick first." Carlisle grins. "And of course I have to go with my eldest boy."

I frown as Edward leaves me to join his father's side.

"Well," Esme says, "I pick Alice. Your future-seeing skills are needed, honey."

Alice twirls over to her side. Emmett looks affronted that he hasn't been picked yet. I look hopefully at Carlisle, hoping he picks me to be on the same team as Edward. He doesn't.

"Emmett," he says, waving Em over. He high-fives Carlisle and Edward.

Esme bites her lip as she studies the remaining three of us. "Sorry, Jazz, dearie. I would pick you, but I'm afraid that having you and Alice on the same team will not be a wise decision. Too much of a distraction, you understand." Jasper nods. "So I have to go with Rose."

"Then I pick Jasper," Carlisle says. Jazz grins and goes to join the rest of the men.

"Oh come on!" I throw my hands in the air, miffed, moving to join Esme's team. "You guys beg me to play and then pick me _last_?"

Carlisle smiles apologetically at me. "Sorry, but you've never played baseball before, hon, and well, I aim to win."

"Well, sorry, Carlisle," Rose smirks, "but it looks like its boys against girls, so it's obvious which team is going to win."

"Yeah, us," Emmett counters.

We scoff. "Keep dreaming." Alice stands tall.

Esme nods. "I love you, Carlisle, but you're going down."

Rose, Alice, and I cheer.

The men laugh, loudly and dramatically, bending over their knees. While they continue looking like idiots, I walk over to the side and pick up one of the bats.

Edward pretends to wipe a tear away. "I'm sorry, but you guys are delusional. This is in the bag."

"Well, love," I walk over to him and hand him the bat. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? You guys can bat first."

Edward smiles, taking the bat from me, his eyes bright and eager. "Gladly," he says before walking away with the men towards home base.

"Come on, Bella." Alice waves me over to join our team huddle. I do so quickly.

"Alice, you're going to be the pitcher," Esme orders. "I'll play catcher. Rose, you play infield. Bella," she turns to me and regards me seriously, "you're in the outfield. You have to chase down the balls and throw them in to Rose. You have the most important job, do you understand that?" I make a sound of protest. "Oh, dearie," Esme puts an arm around, changing from being team captain to being mom. "Carlisle overlooked one thing when he didn't pick you. You're a newborn vampire. You're the fastest one out here, even faster than Edward. You can do this," she tells me resolutely.

I nod, determined to prove her right. "Alright, give me my glove and let's do this."

Rose half laughs, half scoffs. "We don't play with gloves."

I gulp.

oOo

_Two Hours Later_

I plop down onto the muddy ground, exhausted, happy and sad that the game was finally over.

After the first few plays, I had realized that Rose was right. Vampire baseball differs greatly from the way humans play it. First off, the clearing is easily two times the size of a regular baseball field and the bases are four times as wide—every base being a large boulder.

The game works as so: when hit with sturdy, aluminum bats, the ball flies so fast and far that the outfielder has to chase it down, zipping between trees and sometimes even climbing them. Meanwhile, the batter has to run around the bases. The Cullens have a number of rules that varies from normal baseball rules. One Cullen rule is either one gets a homerun or one gets out. Never did one of us stop at a first, second, or third base, even if it was obvious that if we continued running, we would get out. Another Cullen rule: baseball is a full-contact sport. Where one could simply touch the ball to the person to get him or her out, instead it was understood that it was more fun to tackle the runner. And so I soon learned why baseball is only played in thunderstorms. The sound of two vampires crashing into each other is as loud as a clap of thunder, and boy, was there a lot of vampires colliding.

Soon, Alice, Esme, Rose, and I fell into a rhythm. Alice pitched and as soon as the bat contacted the ball with a loud clack, she's would yell the direction the ball will land. I chased after the ball. Another Cullen rule: the ball has to be caught on the fly; if the ball touches the ground it is an automatic homerun for the batter unless, of course, the ball hits a tree, in which case the ball is fair game. Going along with this Cullen rule is the understanding that catching a ball is not an out like it is in human baseball games.

And Esme was right. I did have the speed to catch most balls easily and the ability to jump and climb as necessary. It was tough though. Sometimes the rain fell down so hard and fast that it was difficult even for a vampire to see. And the balls were so fast that to a human eye, they wouldn't even be visible. But after I caught the ball, one of my team members would yell out the current location of the batter, whether they were just rounding first base or nearing third. Rose's job was essentially to shadow the runner, so as soon as I caught the ball and learned the batter's position I would run until I saw them running and throw the ball to Rose. Again, the ball wasn't allowed to touch the ground, so my throw had to be perfect. Once she caught it, she would tackle the runner, which she seemed to enjoy doing a lot. If the batter was nearing home base, then I would throw the ball to Alice, who would in turn throw the ball to Esme, who would be waiting at home base to get the runner out.

It also doesn't take long for me to figure out how the Cullen men bat. Emmett uses brute force, no strategy involved, so usually his balls go in a straight line, over to second base. Yet, his balls go the farthest, forcing me to use all my speed to catch them. Jasper and Carlisle have to analyze and strategize every move they make. They figure out where I am standing and then pinpoint which direction will make me run the farthest. They angle their bat and hit the ball at a certain point to ensure that the ball goes exactly where they want it to, which is as far away from me as possible. Edward is like Emmett in the way he hits with all his strength, hopes for the best, and then sprints like hell. He doesn't hit as far as Emmett, but he's almost as fast as me so by the time I get his ball, he's usually already at third base.

By the end of their first inning, the men had scored six points, most made by Emmett and Edward. It was our turn to bat and I was as nervous as hell. Carlisle was catching, Jasper pitching, Emmett infield, and Edward outfield. I was the first one up. I walk to the plate with the bat Alice had handed me. I turned my hat backwards so I could see better and grinned nervously at Jasper. He winked at me and I immediately felt calm and reassured. I mouthed 'thank you' at him and he threw the first pitch. I was surprised at how fast the ball was going that I didn't even react, the whizzing sound still ringing in my ear even after Carlisle caught it.

"Come on, sweetie, that was right down the middle," he said to me not unkindly. Catchers were also responsible for calling balls and strikes.

I nodded and looked back towards Jasper. This time when the ball came towards me, I swung. Esme later told me that I had swung too early, but at the time, I was just glad that the ball was in the air. I immediately took off towards first base, then second, then third. Feeling a burst of excitement, I blasted towards home, and made it. I looked around me. Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett looked dumbfounded. Alice, Rose, and Esme were jumping up and down, cheering. We all looked towards the edge of the tree line, seeing Edward emerge with ball in hand.

"Dude, what the hell happened?" Emmett demands.

Edward shrugged. "It hit the ground. Automatic homerun."

"Excuse me? She didn't hit it far at all," Jasper protested.

"Hey!"

They ignore me. "I didn't know where it was going. _I_ don't have someone yelling exactly where the ball is going to land." Edward glanced at Alice. She rolled her eyes in response.

"That's bull!" Emmett exclaimed. "You've never had any trouble catching a ball before."

"I guess there's a first time for everything," Edward says calmly, avoiding my gaze, which is piercing into him.

"Just don't let it happen again," Carlisle finally spoke and that was that. Everyone went back to the game.

The rest of the inning went smoothly…well, kinda. Rose continuously argued with Carlisle because Jasper was throwing her curves, which were not to Rose's liking and therefore had to be stopped. Carlisle disagreed with her protests and called each pitch a strike, so Rose got struck out the first two times at bat, much to her horror. Eventually she got so frustrated that when she finally gave in and hit the damn ball it went flying. She was smirking at Jasper as she walked across home base.

Esme was the slowest of the Cullens, but surprisingly, she was a very good hitter. Alice got a homerun every time she went to bat. After six months of living with the Cullens, I've never seen Alice mad at the Jasper, but she was seething because Jazz was making her feel nervous. Jasper countered that if Alice could use her power, so could he. So use her power Alice did. She closed her eyes and just ran. Emmett would try to chase her, but she always knew exactly when he would try to tackle, and would simply side-step him. It was hilarious to see all four Cullen men chasing her, one by one falling to the ground, unsuccessful.

I batted three more times. The second time I was up, I yelled out to Edward that he better catch this one, letting him know that while I appreciated his gesture, I wanted to get a homerun fair and square. He got me out two times, but the last time I got a homerun. At the end of the inning we scored seven points, two by me, three by Alice, one by Rose and one by Esme.

The rest of the eight innings went much the same as the first one did. By the end, the score was 60 them, 58 us.

Now Alice, Esme, and Rose fall to the ground beside me. We smile tiredly at each other as the men high-five and congratulate one another. When they finally make their way towards us, their grins are huge.

"Good game, ladies," Carlisle says sincerely as each of our respective partners help us off the ground. "Especially you, Bella." He turns his twinkling eyes towards me. "I see that I should have picked you to be on my team when I had the chance."

Edward nudges me. "Trying to take my position, love?" His words are teasing and his eyes are full of pride. I shrug, thinking that they were just being kind after my first time playing.

"Really, Bella," Esme read my thoughts. "We've played boys against girls before and we usually lose by a larger margin. You were excellent in the outfield. I don't think you let one ball hit the ground."

"Yeah, we would have won, too, if it wasn't for Jasper making us nervous the entire last inning," Rose says, glaring at Jasper.

"Excuses," Jasper scoffs.

"We were tied going into the last inning and you know it," Alice defends Rose.

"Hey, if Bella can use her newborn advantages and Alice her future-seeing power, then Jazz can use his power," Emmett argues.

Esme and I look at each other and roll our eyes. "Alright, enough now," Esme says. "All that matters is that we had fun."

"It _was_ a lot of fun," Rose admits reluctantly. Everyone agrees.

"Thank you," Edward says to his family sincerely. "I really couldn't have cared less if we didn't do anything on my birthday, but it still means a lot that you guys planned this for me."

"Don't go all mushy on us now," Emmett warns, but smiles and man-hugs Edward anyway.

"Okay, time to head back," Carlisle says as the rest of the Cullens finish wishing Edward a happy birthday. "We all badly need a shower." We look at each other and laugh. Everyone is soaked through with leaves and mud covering our bodies. "Edward, do you mind bringing in the balls and bats?" Carlisle asks him. Edward agrees and the other Cullens say their thanks and head back to the house.

"You're not heading back with the rest of them?" Edward asks as I walk towards him.

I shake my head. "I'll go back with you."

He smiles crookedly at me and together we pile the balls and bats together.

"Okay, ready to head back and shower?" He turns to face me.

I grin slyly as my eyes roam over his body. His wet, bronze hair is matted to his forehead, his hair color now a dark brown. He has some mud on his right cheek and nose. The best part, however, is how his soaked white shirt clings to his body, the see-through material revealing his hard stomach and muscular chest.

I lick my lips. "Only if you promise to wear wet, white shirts more often."

His head tilts back as he laughs. Beautiful. "My, my, love, are you telling me that you find me, a hundred-year old man, attractive?"

"Attractive? No," I shake my head. "Sexy? Very."

He smiles at me as his eyes darken. "Is that so?" He walks slowly towards me. When he reaches me, he brings his lips to mind almost roughly and kisses me earnestly. And I always love kissing Edward, but I don't know. I guess it's the romantic in me, but I especially love it when we kiss in the rain. The water beating down on us, thunder and lightening in the background, but none of that matters because we are so absorbed in each other. It's the world against us and we win every time.

Edward pulls back slowly, looking at me with love overflowing in his eyes. He caresses my cheek. "Thank you, love, for doing this for me."

"You're more than welcome," I whisper, wanting nothing more than his lips back on mine.

He smiles as he picks a leaf out of my hair. "We need to shower, don't we?" He rubs his muddy cheek against mine and I flinch back, laughing. "Let's head home, huh?" I nod in compliance and he bends down to brush his lips against mine. I grin as I hold his head to mine, not letting him pull away. I wrap my legs around his waist and his hand at the small of my back holds me to him. He knows what I want, and complies by kissing me passionately. We continue kissing like this, Edward slowly walking us toward the house, the pile of bats and balls lying forgotten on the ground.

* * *

**I know, I know it's been forever since I updated. But I had the three week camp and then as soon as I got back I had drivers-ed classes. And guess what? I got my learners permit! Passed the test on my first try. And my birthday was a week ago and we went away to celebrate it. I'm officially 16 now :) **

**Anyway, I hope people are still reading. I can't believe we're at chapter 20! And thanks to anyone who has ever reviewed because we broke the 500 hundred mark, which makes me so happy. Next chapter flash forwards a month, so review to get a sneak preview of that. I'll update as soon as I can. **

**Thanks for Reading! **

**Review as a belated birthday present :) **

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	21. Learning to Fight

**Hey Guys! Here is chapter 21. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! ****Enjoy. **

* * *

_Previously: (This scene comes up in this chapter, so just a refresher of what happened all the way back in chapter 10)_

_"Bella, that was completely dangerous and reckless—" he __starts__ to rant, but stops and narrows his eyes when I snort disbelievingly._

_"Dangerous? Edward, we're vampires. We can't die. We would fall, and sure, we'll get a little dirty, but we wouldn't break any bones or anything."_

_He __opens__ his mouth to protest, but then sighs. "I know, but I just…I worry about you. I can't help it," he says __sincerely__, unconsciously angling his body towards mine almost protectively._

_"Aww," I melt. "That's sweet, Edward. But you shouldn't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me."_

_He bites his lip. "But if I saw you fall fifty feet to the ground? Seeing that would petrify me. Even though I know you're indestructible, just the thought of you getting hurt…" he shudders._

_It's bad, I know, to smile to so hugely when he is so distressed, but the fact that he cares so much warms my heart. And I get what he means. If Edward were to fall right now, the fact that he would be fine and stand up without a scratch wouldn't cross my mind. All I would be able to think about would be the image of his broken body landing onto the hard ground._

* * *

**Saturday, July 20th 7:00 P.M **(A Month Later)

I should have known that this would happen sooner or later. Edward and I are both so stubborn, so of course we are going to butt heads every once in a while. We've had arguments in the past and we've disagreed on many points, but always, minutes later with soft words and apologetic glances, our arguments ended and we were back to living in harmony. But not this time. This is more than a simple argument about what movie we should watch or whether or not I should throw out that sweatshirt my old neighbor gave me. No, this is Edward's and I's first full-blown fight, complete with raised voices and slamming doors.

It all began with me walking into the living room where Rose, Alice, and Esme were all talking on the couches. I sat next to Esme and everybody gave me a greeting smile before going back to talking.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ventured moments later.

"Oh, just about life in the 1950s," Alice said amiably.

"But you wouldn't know anything about that, now would you, Bella?" Rose teased, reaching over to pinch my cheeks.

I rolled my eyes and pulled away from her grasp. "Whatever. Where are the guys anyway?" I questioned.

"_Edward_'s out back," Esme answered, knowing who I was, admittedly, really asking for. "He's playing with his brothers."

I nodded. "I'll go join them then." I knew that I didn't have much to add to their conversation about what was happening half a century ago, so I left them to it and headed out to the backyard. What was happening there startled me so much that I almost jumped. Emmett was in the mist of punching Edward in the face.

"Edward!" I gasped. He turned to look at me, surprised. Emmett took this moment of distraction to land the punch on the side of Edward's face. I rushed to Edward, immensely concerned. "Are you okay?" I asked seriously, cradling his face in my hand.

"I'm fine," he hissed, looking slightly embarrassed, glancing behind me. My eyes followed his and saw Emmett's and Jasper's amused smirks.

I dropped my hands from his face and whirled around to face Emmett. "Why did you do that?" I demanded, poking him firmly on his chest.

His grin widened. "Relax, Bells." He ruffled my hair. "I challenged Edward to a fight and we were just brushing up on some skills."

"Oh," I frowned, feeling stupid "Alright, well…don't hit so hard next time."

Jasper laughed at this and Emmett saluted me.

"I can handle it, Bella," Edward spoke up, his voice harder than usual.

"Okay, okay," I held my arms out in surrender. Still frowning, I walked to the side of the house and crossed my arms, watching as they repositioned themselves.

As if by some silent bell, Emmett and Edward sprung at each other, colliding in the air. I winced as Emmett landed on top of Edward, but Edward just rolled him off and they wrestled on the ground, throwing punches and kicks every few seconds.

After a few minutes of watching, I visibly relaxed. I had been tense, wanting to make sure Edward didn't get hurt and ready to jump in to help if need be, but he was doing perfectly fine. I scolded myself, drilling it in that Edward was indestructible and incapable of getting hurt unless Emmett pulled his limbs out. I felt bad, realizing that I had probably embarrassed Edward in front of his brothers over my unnecessary and rash concern and protectiveness.

Soon, I actually started to enjoy watching the fight. Emmett seemed to be constantly on the offensive, but Edward, reading his thoughts, could easily block most hits while throwing some punches of his own. Emmett had strength on his side though and was almost always on top of Edward, holding him down.

Just as I uncrossed my arms and leaned comfortably against the side of the house, Edward glanced at me and I smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. He started to grin back, but Emmett chose that moment to kick his kneecap. Edward hissed in retaliation and turned his attention back to the fight.

"Man, Bells, you have to watch more often. I usually don't land so many hits," Emmett said cheerfully.

I laughed and once again Edward looked my way only to have Emmett pin his arms above his head. "See what I mean?" Emmett chuckled.

Edward broke free of Emmett's pin-hold and kneed Emmett in the ribs. Emmett fell to the side he was hit, moving off Edward. Crouching on the ground, Edward jumped high into the air, flipped, and landed on Emmett with a thunderous crash.

_Wow_, I thoughtto myself, _So cool. I want to do that._

I turned to Jasper, who was across the backyard from me, also silently observing the fight. "Teach me how to fight," I implored.

This time it's not just Edward that looked at me. Emmett and Jasper stared incredulously before laughing out loud.

"I'm serious!" I insisted, miffed.

That silenced them. Jasper turned thoughtful as he studied me.

Edward growled at him. "No."

Surprised, I turned toward Edward's resolute face. "Hey, if he wants to teach me, then that's his choice, not yours," I said firmly.

"Yeah Ed, Esme, Alice, and Rose all know," Emmett pointed out.

"I don't care. Bella is not fighting anybody," Edward declared, glaring at his brothers.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "_Excuse_ me, but you're _not_ the boss of me. I can do whatever I want."

Edward turned his glare onto me. "No, no you can't. I won't let you."

I studied him incredulously. I had never seen him so angry. It was completely out of character for him to be so ice cold with me. His fists were clenched and his eyes were filled with anger and…fear? I was so confused. I didn't understand why he was reacting this way and I definitely didn't appreciate the way he was bossing me around like I had to follow his orders. I mean, he won't '_let _me.' Like I needed his permission. I could only think of one reason why he wouldn't let me fight and the idea filled me with anger.

I shook my head. "I can't believe that I'm telling you this, Edward, but _grow up_," I said spitefully before turning around and marching toward the back door.

"Oh and what's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, following me.

I shoved the door open and stalked inside. I ignored his following footsteps until I reached the stairs. "It means," I whirled around to face him, "that though you were raised in the 19th century, you need to wake up and realize that it's the 20th century and women can do everything men can do and—"

Edward scoffed. "Don't bring that into this. This has _nothing t_o do with sex."

Just then, Carlisle, who was recently walking by, holding the newspaper under one arm, and whistling, stopped in his track and looked at us in surprise.

I blanched. "H-he means my gender. Sex like g-gender not…t-the other thing… I s-_swear_—"

Carlisle held his hands up, stopping me from my stuttering tirade. "Hey, it's none of my business. I'm just heading up the stairs." He pointed up. I moved out of his way and he passed me by, a smile on his face. When he was out of sight, Edward and I took one look at each other and burst out laughing, forgetting for a minute that we were mad at the other.

I covered my face with my hands. "That was so embarrassing," I groaned. Edward pulled me into his arms, chuckling into my ear. I nuzzled his neck and smiled, but soon our laughter died down and we remembered why we were angry in the first place.

Not wanting to fight, I decided to give him one more chance. I pulled back and stared seriously into his topaz eyes. "If it's not about my sex, Edward, then why don't you want me to learn how to fight?"

"B-because," Edward spluttered.

"Because?" I groaned. If only he could give me a rational, logical answer, then I would apologize for assuming and getting angry and we would go back to hugging. But not if he won't at least be honest with me and give me an adequate answer to a simple question. "Just because? That's your answer?" He didn't respond. "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to need a better answer than that," I said before turning around and going up the stairs.

But I only go up a few steps before Edward blurted out, "You don't need to! Okay? You don't need to learn how to fight."

I faced him incredulously. "How can you say that? You don't know that. There's crazy people, crazy vampires out there. Who's to say that one won't find me one day, fight me, and I wouldn't know how to defend myself. I could die, Edward. Are you willing to risk that?"

His topaz eyes widened with horror. "What? _No. _But Bella, the chances of that situation ever happening—"

"Use your imagination," I hissed. "I'm saying _what if_."

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Nothing would happen because I would be there to—"

"To what? To save me? So I would just step aside like a good little girl while you rescued your damsel in distress?" I said with disgust.

He fumbled for an answer, knowing that if he said yes, he was being sexist, but if said no, he was contradicting himself. Finally he settled on saying tiredly, "I wasn't going to say that, Bella."

"Maybe not. But that doesn't change the fact that you're not always going to be with me. And I'm not going to stay in a house all the time. At some point in the future I'm going to be able to go into town by myself. I don't think you realize that I can't stay at home forever, cleaning and cooking while waiting for you to come home from school, and then greeting you with a 'hi, honey!'"

"'Hi, honey'?" he said bewilderedly, shaking his head. "Come on, be rational, love."

"Don't you 'love' me," I said, for endearments like that weakened my resolve. "And _I_ am being rational. As much as you don't want to hear it, you can't always protect me. At some point, you're going to have to let me go out into the real world where there's always going to be that small possibility that I will face off with danger, and I would need to know how to defend myself." With that, I finally marched up the stairs. But he _still_ followed me. When I reached the top of the stairs, I took a deep breath, trying to let go of my anger. I turned to face him and spoke calmly, "You don't think I can take care of myself."

"And how," Edward gripped the stair railing and I saw it crack under his harsh grip, "did you get to that conclusion?"

"Last month when we were playing baseball, you _let_ me get that homerun." He opened his mouth to protest but I didn't let him. "Don't deny it, I know you did. I'm not stupid. You did it because you thought that I needed you to get a homerun. And now you won't let me fight because you think I should need you for protection. I_ love_ you, Edward, I do," I said fiercely, "but that doesn't mean I _need_ you because I don't." His eyes filled with hurt and I tried to not let that bother me. I failed. My voice softened. "I don't need you for every little thing. I can do things by myself without your help and without your permission. And I don't need you to protect me like I'm something fragile that can't handle anything. I can deal with not getting a homerun and I can deal with a punch in the face. _I can take care of myself_, dammit."

"I know that, Bella." He raised his voice.

My voice raised also. "Then act like you do!" I hissed, walking toward my room. And yup, he still followed me. "It seems like you and everybody else in this house forgets that I was fine before I met any of you." I thought back to earlier today, Rose pinching my cheek, Emmett and Jasper laughing when I said I wanted to fight. There were other times, too, too many times to count, and I was finally fed up with it. "I'm tired of this whole family treating me like I'm some kind of baby who can't do anything for herself!" I slammed the door shut.

"Oh, that's right, Bella," Edward sneered from behind my door, "because only mature adults whine and slam doors and stomp their feet."

Anger like I've never known before boiled inside of me at that and I let out a growl. "Leave me alone, Edward. Go!" I added when he just stood outside my closed door.

"Fine," he said after a minute. I heard him walk away. "I'm at the stairs," he called, probably hoping I would tell him to come back. I didn't.

"I'm going down the stairs."

I swallowed heavily.

"I'm now walking towards the front door."

I sunk into my bed.

"I'm about to open the door."

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip against a sob threatening to come out.

"I opened the door and I'm stepping outside."

Now I bit my lip to stop myself from calling out to him.

"I just closed the door." Edward's voice was weak. "I left the house."

My heart broke at that and he didn't say another word, probably already in the woods by now. I laid down on my bed, dug my head into a pillow, and kicked my feet into the air in frustration, realizing what I just did and hating myself for it.

oOo

Now, after minutes of kicking myself for my rash reaction, I leave my room and sigh heavily as I stare at the bedroom across. Whenever I felt sad or nostalgic or mad, I've always walked straight into Edward's room and into his waiting, comforting arms. But now, where can I go when I drove out the only one who could make this all better?

Biting my lip I walk down the hallway. Desperate for some company to get my mind off things, I turn towards Jasper's and Alice's door just as I'm about past it. I open the door hesitantly.

"Jasper?" I see him lying on his bed, a book in his hand.

Feeling my emotions, he looks at me sympathetically. "Aw, Bells." He pats the spot next to here. "Come to Brother Jasper."

I force a smile for his sake and lay down next to him. "You heard?" I whisper, digging my head into his broad chest.

He puts his arm around me. "Hon, everyone in this house heard," he chuckles, but stops when he sees my less-than-amused expression. "Oh come on, Bella, every couple fights."

"Not me and Edward," I counter miserably.

"You and Edward are not the exception," Jasper disagrees. "_Every _couple fights."

"What about you and Alice?"

"Are you kidding?" he scoffs.

"I've never seen you guys fight," I say in surprise.

"I mean, we don't fight frequently, but yeah, we fight. I love Alice, but we are complete opposites, you know?" I nod. I do. Jasper is more mellow and serious while Alice just bubbles with unrestrained energy. "And Alice and I don't fight for long," he adds.

"Why's that?" I lift my head up so I can see him.

He smiles at me. "Because of our powers. See, whenever she's mad at me, I send her waves of all my love, to remind her how much I love her, and waves of my own guilt to show her how sorry I am. And if that doesn't work, I send some calming waves at her." He winks at me.

I gasp and shove him. "You cheat!" I laugh.

He shrugs, smiling. "Hey, a man has to do what a man has to do."

I roll my eyes. "And when you are mad at her?"

"I can't stay mad at that women for long," Jasper says fondly. "She knows exactly what to say to make all my anger disappear. Literally. She decides to say something and gets a vision. So she knows what words will make it all better and what words would just get me angrier."

"I wish I had her power," I mumble wistfully.

"Oh, Bells, you don't need it." Jasper pats my hair. "I know how Edward feels and I know that he can't stay mad at you for long."

"You think?" I ask earnestly.

"I _know._"

A slight smile tugs at my lip at his reassurance. "Well, I can't stay mad at him either. Already I can't wait for him to come back so I can apologize and we can move on like this never happened." A thought occurs to me. "He _is_ coming back, right Jasper?" I ask hurriedly, my voice full of doubt.

"_Of course," _he assures like he can't believe I even asked. I bit my lip, not so sure. "Oh, Bells, if it makes you feel better, you know how Rose and Emmett fight like every other week over the simplest things?"

"Yeah if you can call it fighting." I giggle. "They yell at each other for a minute, storm off, and then five minutes later you find them making out. It's ridiculous."

Jasper chuckles in agreement. "But sometimes they do get into real big fights, but imagine this. In all the years they've been together, in all the fights they've gotten into—big or small—since the moment Emmett opened his eyes and laid eyes on Rose, the two have never once broken up. Same holds true for Alice and I and Esme and Carlisle."

"Really?" I say in disbelief.

He nods. "Oh yeah. See, Bells, I don't think you understand that vampires have the ability to feel love more intensely than humans do. Humans can fall in and out of love like that," he snaps his fingers to demonstrate, "but not vampires. When we love, we love with our whole selves. Our love is forever.""

I nod. I can see that. I don't ever see me falling out of love with Edward. Whether it be a hundred years from now or a thousand, he will still and always have my heart.

"Thanks, Jasper," I snuggle into his side appreciatively, "That does make me feel better."

"Good. I'm glad." He smiles at me. "And you do know that we don't mean to make you feel like you're a baby."

I sigh. "I know you guys don't_ mean_ to. It's just that…I don't like feeling so young and inexperienced all the time, you know? I _am_ practically an adult. And though I don't know about life in the 1900s, or in your case the 1800s, or better yet, in Carlisle's case, the 1600s, that doesn't mean that I don't know anything."

"But understand that compared to how long we've lived, you are very young. We call you a _newborn _vampire for a reason—relatively to us, you are like a newborn child. Carlisle is well over three hundred years old and the rest of us are either over a century old or near a century old."

"I get that, Jasper, I do," I insist, "I know that I'm young, but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily naïve or helpless."

"If we at times treat you like you're any of those things, remember how you came to us. When we first met you, you _were_ helpless and clueless. You begged us for help and you had no shelter, no family, no nothing. To us you were just a sweet girl that needed help. And we taught you and guided you and we've seen you grow from this miserable, lost, full of self-hate girl to this strong, independent woman who is lying next to me.

Now, Bella, no one in this family doubts your strength and independence. And yes we may tease you about your age once in a while, but that's just teasing. And if we are a little more protective of you than we would be if you were older, that's just because we love you and don't want you to get hurt."

I bite my lip. "And that's probably why Edward doesn't want me to fight, huh? Because he loves me." I sigh. "Jasper, do you think I over-reacted?"

"Maybe just a _little_ at the end with the screaming and the slamming of your door," he answers, smiling.

"Just a little?" I laugh.

"A teeny tiny bit." He holds his forefinger and thumb close together to show me just how little.

I shove him and roll my eyes.

He grins and pushes me back. "But in all seriousness, I think you did have a right to be angry and you did bring up a few good points."

I blink at him. "You guys really did listen, didn't you?"

He nods. "Yup," he says, not ashamed. "What can we say? It's a lazy summer day."

"I'm glad we were there for your entertainment," I say sarcastically.

"Hey, if you guys wanted privacy, you shouldn't have gone at it on the staircase. I mean, even if we weren't vampires, we still would have been able to hear you guys," Jasper defends himself.

"Please," I scoff in protest.

"It's true."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"You were lying."

"Nope."

"At least you were exaggerating."

"Nope."

"Admit it."

"Nope."

"Come on."

"Nope."

"Yes."

"I don't think so."

"I know so."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"Nope."

"Oh, we are back to that again, huh?"

"Yup."

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed this."

"Me too."

We smile at each other.

"Really," I say, "we never have any more one-on-one time. What happened to our nights in the library?"

"Well, quite honestly, I got bored of you." He shrugs like the case is helpless.

"I'm being serious." I roll my eyes at him.

He grins. "Alright, alright, I guess one of us got real busy with a certain other person." He stares at me.

"Just because I'm with Edward doesn't mean I don't have time for the rest of you guys," I protest.

"Really?" He raises an eyebrow. "Because since school ended, you haven't cooked with Esme, haven't played a chess game with Carlisle, haven't gone hunting with Emmett, etcetera, etcetera. You've been glued to Edward's side."

I frown, seeing the truth in his words. Of course, Edward and I spend hours with the family in the living room every day, but I haven't spent one-on-one time with any of the Cullens other than Edward.

"Well, that's about to change. We'll go to the library tonight," I say decisively.

Jasper sighs. "If I have to."

"You're not funny." I try not to smile.

"Yes I am."

"No, you're no—dammit, we're not doing this again!" We laugh.

"Thanks, Jasper," I smile at him.

"For what?" he says curiously.

"For being there." I shrug. "You really cheered me up."

"Good, good," he nods appreciatively, "because it's a dream of mine to become a school counselor," he says with a straight face.

"Oh, Jazz, don't sell yourself short. I think you can be a full-blown therapist. Though, of course, not the physical kind." I pinch his bicep and shake my head in mock disappointment.

"But, Bella, I can't be a regular therapist. Don't they deal with…_emotions_?" He pretends to shudder.

"You're right." I nod seriously. "You're not so good with emotions."

"Darn," he sighs. "For a second there, I thought I'd be a great therapist because I'm really good with humans, you know."

I laugh loudly at that, breaking our façade. I love Jasper and I love how he feels comfortable enough to show me his relatively rarely-seen playful side in order to make me feel better. After our talking and joking, I've forgotten my previous anger and sadness and am just eager to make-up with Edward.

"When do you think Edward is coming back?" I ask, tugging on his arm impatiently.

He shrugs. "I don't know." My arm slackens in disappointment. "But, if I may ask," he smiles at me, "what exactly is stopping you from going out and finding him?"

oOo

I step into the meadow and Edward immediately takes notice. His eyes brighten and he jumps up from the ground.

"Bella," he breathes, "you came."

"Of course," I say simply.

He looks down, almost shyly. "I thought you wouldn't be able to follow my scent because of the rain."

"Are you kidding me? I know your scent better than my own. I could follow it in a blizzard." He smiles at me. "But I didn't use your scent to find you." At his confused look, I add, "I kinda figured you would be here." It's true. As soon as I stepped outside, my legs had instinctively led me here.

Edward nods and a slight awkwardness fills the chilly, night air. I clear my throat unnecessarily and Edward scratches the back of my neck.

"Uh," he breaks the silence, "do you want to talk?" He gestures to the ground. I nod and walk over to him as he lowers himself onto the wet grass. I sit down a couple of feet away from him and he frowns at the distance, hurt filling his already downcast, topaz eyes. I smile uncertainly at him as I scoot forward. Now we are both sitting pretzel-style facing each other, our knees touching. I slowly grab his hands and intertwine them with my own.

"Let's talk," I say, "about… about what happened."

Edward takes in a deep breath. "How 'bout we start at the beginning. Tell me why you got so angry."

I look down at our clasped hands and think back to Edward's hard stare, his clear-cut 'no' still ringing in my ears. "You don't want me to fight," he doesn't deny this, so I continue, "which is fine, really. I don't expect us to agree on everything. And I know that you're more experienced and logical than I am, and for that reason, I respect your opinion _very _much. If you would have said, 'Look, Bella, I don't want you to fight and here is why…' that would it have been completely fine. I would have taken your opinion heavily into account and then made _my own_ decision about what _I _wanted to do.

But the way you said it, _no_, like I had no say in it and it was your decision whether I could do something or not. And that _pissed _me off," I say honestly, "and you know me. I don't get angry that often, but when I do," I audibly suck in a breath, "I get really mad, really quick. And then when I asked you why you didn't want me to fight, you didn't give me a straight answer. I thought you were hiding something or being dishonest with me because there had to be some reason you reacted so against the idea. I don't know." I shrug. "The whole thing just happened really…fast, you know?"

He nods in agreement before leaning back to study me. He purses his lips in thought. "Can I tell you why I didn't want you to fight?" I nod my head eagerly, which elicits a small smile from him. "Do you remember about four months ago when you climbed a tree for the first time?" I nod, wondering why he's bringing that up right now. "I got angry with you because you climbed that tree, didn't I? And when you asked why, I told you that I couldn't help worrying about you despite knowing you're indestructible. Well, that still holds true today."

He sighs. "Bella, the reason I didn't let you get that homerun last month was not because I thought you couldn't get a homerun by yourself or because I didn't think you could handle getting out. It's because I knew, I _knew _that if I threw that ball to Emmett, then he would tackle you. And I don't know…"—he shrugs in frustration—"but that thought just…it drew me crazy. I froze up and the ball hit the ground, an automatic homerun for you." He looks toward the sky, at the trees, avoiding my probing eyes. "I've waited a hundred years for you, Bella. I love you so much…you're precious to me…the thought of you getting hurt…or worse, the thought of losing you…" He closes his eyes in pain and clenches his fist around my hand.

He shakes his head. "But no," he loosens his grip on me, "if you hate it so much, I guess I can—"

"No, no, no," I say softly, my voice coaxing him to face me. "I don't hate it. I _love _that you're protective of me, Edward. It warms my heart really because it's just further proof of how much you care. And I get it. I do. Earlier today when I saw Emmett punching you for the first time, my heart just froze. I was horrified and…and scared. It's like in that moment I forgot that you were immortal. I mean, all that was going through my mind was that you were about you to get hurt and I just wanted to throw myself between the two of you and take the punch for you, no matter how much it hurt me. I also wanted to knee Emmett in the balls, but that's beside the point." I grin.

Edward chuckles and places a hand on my cheek. "Bella, you _do_ get it."

I put my hand on top of his. "Well, _yeah_. Though I didn't wait a hundred years for you, I do love you." I turn my head slightly to kiss his palm gently.

My words restore the twinkle in his eye and he strokes my cheek in response.

"But," I add, "how come when I'm protective of you, I get laughed at by your brothers and you look embarrassed? You don't get teased for being protective of me."

He smiles in that you-got-me, guilty sort of way. "That is a double-standard, huh?"

I laugh. "Yeah it is, mister. I get to be protective of you too."

He agrees readily, "Be as protective of me as you want. We can't have me hurting, you know. In fact, as I bring it up, my cheek is starting to tingle." He makes an exaggerated painful face.

I grin. "Oh my! I wish I knew some way to help. Maybe…I can kiss it better?" I tap my lips in thought.

He nods eagerly.

Still smiling, I lean across our crossed legs and peck his cheek.

"Ow. Now my nose is going numb."

I pepper kisses up and down the bridge of his nose.

"Oh no, my lips are burning."

I brush my lips against his.

"They're _burning_, love," he mumbles, his not-so-subtle way of telling me that a simple peck isn't going to cut it.

I giggle before indulging his lips in a deeper, more passion-riddled kiss. I meant to pull back soon, but I can't tear away from him. I haven't kissed him since way before our fight started and we've haven't gotten this long without kissing in months. He starts to suck on my bottom lip and instantly we are rolling around the wet grass, our hands exploring each other's body.

"Edward," I whisper. He kisses right under my left ear and plants more beneath my jaw. "Let's never fight again," I murmur breathlessly, taking his head in my hands. "Let's kiss for all eternity." I pull his willing lips back on mine and kiss him fiercely. But soon our frenzied kissing slowly dies down to slow, heart-stopping kiss, to whispered nothings between pecks, both of us knowing that we still had some talking to do.

"Why didn't you tell me why you didn't want me to fight earlier? When I asked you to?" I ask, letting him roll off my body and lay at my side.

He shrugs. "Well partly I guess I was embarrassed by my earlier reaction, knowing that I really I had no excuse for lashing out at you. I'm sorry for that, love." His eyes turned apologetic and he kisses my hand. "I over-reacted."

"Yeah, I think we both did. But why else didn't you tell me?" I question, concentrating on his 'partly'.

"Because you didn't give me a chance to. I was too busy defending myself from your accusations."

I bite my lip, remembering what I had said earlier to him in the heat of the moment. "Yeah…" I trail off guiltily.

"Yeah, let's talk about those accusations, love." He nudges me.

"Well, you weren't giving me any reasons as to why I couldn't fight, so I made up some of my own." I shrug.

"But is that how you feel, Bella?"

I look away from his searching gaze. "What do you mean?"

"Like do you really think I believe you can't take care of yourself?"

I shrug again.

"Bella," he prompts.

I sigh. "I wasn't thinking when I said that, but yeah, there is a seed of truth there. It's not just you—it's the whole family. And I guess it bothers me because with Renee, _I_ was always the one taking care of _her _and I was the adult in the family. Now it's the opposite. I'm the one that's like the child and I suppose I'm not used to being the one looked after and protected. But I talked to Jasper earlier and he cleared things up. I know when you guys are overprotective it's just because you care and want to help me."

He nods. "They've waited a long time for you, too, you know. Since the moment you entered the family, we felt complete, like we were searching for something and only just found it."

I smile, touched.

"And the other stuff you said. Do you really feel imprisoned in this house? The stuff you said about cooking and cleaning—"

I groan. "I didn't mean those things. I love cooking and cleaning with Esme is fun. But…"

"But?"

"Sometimes yeah." I rub my forehead. "Sometimes I felt a little jealous seeing you guys go off to school or go into town to see my dad. I kind of am stuck to the house and these woods. I can't go anywhere else less I start some massacre somewhere."

"But, love, its not forever. Only until you've had the proper training. Then you are free to go…wherever you want…with whoever you want to." His face turns away from mine, but not before I see his troubled eyes and unsure expression.

"Edward, what are you talking about? What's wrong?" I reach out for him.

"You were right when you said at some point I have to set you free. Once the training is over, you won't need us anymore. You wouldn't have to say with us."

"You're right. I wouldn't have to—"

"We would respect any choice you made." He swallows, clenching and unclenching his fist.

I touch his face and nudge him so he's looking at me. "You didn't let me finish. I wouldn't have to live with you guys, but I would _want_ to. I'm part of this family, Edward. And I'm in love with you. I'm yours forever."

He kisses me. "You make me so happy, love," he breathes against my lips. "I can't wait until we can go to the movies together or drive to school or stroll through a marketplace."

I smile brightly, picturing each scene. "I want that too, Edward. So much."

"And I meant what I said earlier, love. We will respect the choices you make. If you want to fight, then I'll let you."

I groan. "After the talk we just had, Edward? You're going to say it like that? Really? _Let _me? Like I need your permission to do something?"

He winches. "Bad choice of words. Sorry, love. I meant to say that you have my blessing."

I smile and squeeze his hands gently. "Good because your blessing means everything to me. I honestly wouldn't have fought without your approval."

"Really?" He looks surprised, but especially pleased.

"Of course. If you felt that strongly about it."

He nods in understanding. "And may I ask why you want to fight? It can't really be because you expect to meet some vindictive vampire out to kill you."

I laugh. "You're right. I just saw you guys doing all these flips and awesome moves and it looked so cool and fun. I wanted to that. Plus, everyone else knows, so why not?"

His response is to lay back in the grass, pulling me down with him. He puts an arm around me and plays with my hair. I snuggle into his side, never wanting to leave. We watch the sunrise together and I close my eyes contently as the birds begin to chirp.

"Bella?" Edward traces my smile with a fingertip.

"Hmm?" I hum.

"I love you."

I grin hugely and open my eyes. "I love you, too." I kiss his fingertip and stare into his loving eyes, realizing that I never want to waste a second of our forever life screaming at him or shutting him out. "And I know Jasper said that all couples fight, but do mind if next time we skip the slamming of doors and yelling?"

"I'd like that. Maybe we can talk it out more next time. And maybe" –he looks hesitant to say this—"you won't push me away. I felt like you kept running from me. All those times you turned your back and walked away from me. And then telling me to go."

"I'm sorry," I say sincerely. "I just needed to be alone for a minute, I guess. Plus, it was hard to stay mad when I was looking at your face. But each time I turned around, I was always surprised to find you following me. I kept expecting you to walk away, too. Get really mad and leave. I was really afraid of that when I came out here to find you, you know. That you would be mad with me and tell me to leave you alone. "

Edward shakes his head. "Never, love. We can have a thousand fights. You can scream and accuse me of stuff I never did, and I still couldn't help but love you beyond all reason. I can't stay mad at you for more than a minute."

I can't help but kiss those beautiful lips of him, silently telling him that I agree. When it comes to him, my anger disappears so easily and I know it always will. Forever is an inconceivable time and we'll probably have our share of fights, but now I'm comforted knowing that our love will always come first, overriding any semblance of anger or animosity.

_Two Days Later_

"Alright let's work on defense first," Jasper says, standing two feet in front me. We are the only ones in the backyard for my first fighting lesson. I wanted Edward to be here with me, but he told me that he was sorry, but he wanted to sit this one out with the rest of his family. I understood that watching Jazz throw punches at me wasn't his idea of fun, so I didn't push him. But I still feel his absence less than reassuring.

Jasper continues, "I'm going to tell you which hand I'm going to hit you with and all you have to do is block it. Simple enough?"

I nod nervously.

"Right," he calls and in a flash he punches me in the stomach with his right hand.

I gasp at the contact. His punch _stung. _I wince as I rub the spot he hit me.

Jasper has no sympathy. "Come on, Bells. I didn't even use all my strength."

At first I want to protest his callousness, but then I realize he's right. I did ask for this and I can't expect him to go easy on me. So for the next twenty minutes, I endure his many punches with a small grimace.

"You're not giving me any time to block!" I eventually cry out after a particularly hard hit to my right side. "You just say right or left and then bam! Before I have any time to register what you said."

"Well, an attacker isn't going to exactly yell out what hand he is going to use, correct?" Jasper says matter-of-factly. "Come on. You have to _anticipate_ what hand I'm going to use and then block it."

"_Anticipate_?" I splutter. "I can't read minds!"

He doesn't answer, just shouts out 'Left!' and off we go again. Thankfully, I do start to block his punches but only because I don't let him even finish the word anymore. As soon as he makes the 'r' sound or the 'l' sound, I know where to block.

"Very good." Jasper smiles proudly after I block off a succession of five or so punches. "Now I'm not going to tell you which hand I'm using."

_What?_ But before I have time to voice my complaints he's strikes a hit. I growl and grow determined to figure out some way to 'anticipate' his hit. I move my stare from his face down to his fists. As soon as one makes the slightest movement, I prepare to stop it. I learn to look for more signs. I concentrate on where he's staring, where he's aiming. The angle of his body tells a lot too. Eventually I can block almost any blow he throws at me.

"Nice," he nods appreciably. "Now I think you're ready for your turn."

"Me? B-but I thought we were going to work on defensive."

"Haven't you heard? Offense is the best form of defense. Now hit me. I'll block you. Actually," he reconsiders, "I won't block. Let's just work on your form, then we'll head inside and continue in the morning. Fists up," he orders. I hold my fists up awkwardly. His eyes glitter with amusement. "Clench your fists more and try to look intimidating." I turn my face into an angry scowl and he laughs. "Better. Now give me a punch."

I hesitate.

"I can take it, Bella," he reassures.

I nod, close my eyes, and let my fist fly to his face. When I open my eyes, his face registers no hurt or pain.

"Use your strength, Bells. All of it. You can hit harder than that. And next time hit my stomach or ribs instead of my face. In fighting, always work the body and then move to the face. We'll work on uppercuts to the face later."

"Upper-whats?"

"Uppercuts. Upward swings," he explains. "Now don't just use just your fist. Back your whole arm and shoulder into it. And don't forget to follow through."

I take in his words and advice and take another shot at it. I land my punch on his stomach and the reaction is immediate. He bends over and clutches his stomach, cursing under his breath.

"Oh my god, Jasper!" I exclaim in surprise. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry. I didn—"

He waves me off. "No worries. I just forgot about your newborn strength." He grimaces as he straightens up. "I'm good now though. Nice hit, by the way. You did exactly what I told you to do." I beam at him. "Now give me another punch."

I bite my lip, not wanting to hurt him again.

"I can take it," he repeats his words from earlier. "I'm expecting it this time. Go on," he prompts.

I nod and this time use my left arm to hit him. Jasper winches, but otherwise seems okay.

"Great hit, love!" I hear from behind me.

I smile. I'll know that voice anywhere. I turn around to see Edward leaning against the house, and judging by the still swinging door, he had just come out. Seeing him there, grinning his crooked smile at me, warms my heart because I know with absolute certainty that even though Edward might not like all the choices I make, he will always be in my corner, supporting and cheering me on, and that means more to me than words can say.

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**There you go! This is my second longest chapter, so I hope you liked it. Next chapter jumps ahead another month and we finally start the blood training and then the Cullens are back in school. So review to get a sneak preview! I'll update as soon as I can. **

**Thanks for Reading! **

**Review :) **

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie**


	22. Blood Training

**Hey! Here is chapter 21! Thanks to merdybob, aleki98, FutureCullenVampire, TeamEdward-aka jacobhater, Brook Meyers, Ninasa1122, poochieB, twilightsaga96, Conan in love, LaughingxLovingxLiving, Seaturtle, Kristin04, tina062093, sapphyre18, et1141412, ForeverEdward'sMate, NJ94, Vampires-Rock-xXx, paige.h, and hopelessromanticgurl for taking the time to review.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." -Oscar Wilde_

* * *

**Wednesday, August 1st 5:00 P.M. **_(Four Days Later )_

Edward eagerly pulls me onto his lap, and I go willingly, straddling him and throwing my arms around his neck, our lips still moving heatedly against one another. Edward groans as my tongue slips by his lips and begins to explore his mouth. His hands roam my sides before resting on the small of my back, pressing me into him so that we are chest to chest, our pants matching each other's breath for breath. I slow the kiss down, wanting now to savor the feel of his lips on my own, making me dizzy with pleasure.

This is how it always is when Edward and I kiss. Whether it be slow or quick, soft or rough, passionately or languidly, it doesn't matter. Each never fails to take my breath away, to make my undead heart feel alive again. You can just chalk it up to Edward being a good kisser—and believe me he is one hell of an incredible kisser—but it's more than that. It's how our love for one another shines through in every sweep of the tongue, in every roaming hand, in every touch. I don't know how to explain it, so I'll leave it at this—something incredible, something extraordinary happens when our lips connect. We're immediately transferred to another world where nothing in the world can affect us, can touch us—

"Ow," I say in surprise as I feel something hit the back of my head. Okay…some things can touch us.

I turn around to see both the pillow that hit me fall to the ground and Jasper's grinning face.

"I turn my back for one second to call the others and you guys immediately decide that that's a good time to go at it?" He shakes his head.

"Who's going at it?" Emmett enters the living room.

"Edward and Bella?" Rose guesses. "Nothing new there," she snorts, following Emmett towards the loveseat.

"Not on my couch, I hope!" Esme says, entering hand in hand with Carlisle.

I dig my head into Edward's chest, embarrassed. "We weren't going at it," I mumble, my voice muffled by Edward's shirt. Edward puts his arms around me and I feel him smile against the top of my head.

"Don't pay them any attention." Carlisle smiles reassuringly at me.

"Worse things have happened on that couch." Jasper concedes, smirking as he gestures pointedly at Rose and Emmett.

Rose and Emm roll their eyes at the same time, causing everyone to laugh.

I smile, realizing how far this family has come in regards to Edward's and I's physical relationship. At the beginning of our relationship, much to Edward's dismay, I was too embarrassed to kiss him in front of our family or even sit on his lap. One day, though, Edward just pulled me onto his lap and wouldn't let me leave.

The first time this happened, Alice and Esme were beaming, Jasper and Emmett were glaring, and Rose and Carlisle had smiles tugging at the corner of their lips. After Edward pulling me onto his lap became a frequent habit, eventually Emmett's and Jasper's glaring died down and Alice and Esme no longer gushed.

But I was never a fan of PDA, so even then, I wouldn't kiss Edward in front of everyone, but Edward eventually won me over with that one, too. It didn't take long for him to realize that once his lips were on mine, all my thoughts turned to mush and I wouldn't even dream of refusing him. Of course, this led to more glaring and _aww_ing, but again, everyone soon got used to Edward and I being a couple.

Now, as I lean into Edward and nuzzle his neck contently, no one pays us a second glance.

"Where's Alice?" Esme frowns.

"I'm glad you asked that, Esme." Jasper smiles happily. "Alice, darling, come on in."

Alice comes in, grinning, rolling a 5 ft. by 5 ft. whiteboard in front of her. We all groan as Jasper picks up a red dry-erase marker.

Ignoring us, he writes _Blood Training_ across the board and suddenly, the room turns somber.

"No, Bella's not ready for that," Edward protests. "I mean," he hastens to add at my raised eyebrow, "that's just my opinion. Ultimately, though, it's up to her, of course."

"Well, I don't know." I shrug, still confused by everyone's anxious expressions. "Isn't this what we always planned? What we were working up to?" The plan was always to perfect my strength, touch, speed, and fidgeting, and only then would we finally start working on my blood control.

"Yes," Carlisle answers cautiously, "but blood training is serious stuff, Bella."

"It's hell," Rose puts bluntly. Everyone nods in agreement.

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy," Jasper says, "because it's not. In fact, it's going to be incredibly difficult. But Bella's right. We've done everything. She knows how to act human and how to not give away her true identity. She's mastered all we've thrown at her and now this is the next step."

"I'm with Jasper," I agree. "I know it's going to be hard, but I don't want to put it off any longer. The sooner we start, the sooner I can enter civilization again. I _really_ want to go to school and into town with you guys."

"Are you sure about this, love?" Edward asks seriously, tilting my head to the side so he can study my face.

I nod slowly. "I am. I think it's time, I really do."

Edward's grave expression melts into a grin. "Well, if you think you're ready, then we're all behind you a hundred percent."

I smile gratefully at him, letting him know how much his approval means to me. "I love you," I whisper, giving him a short, lingering kiss.

"Mmm, I love you too." He nuzzles my nose.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rose pretend to vomit, but Edward and I just laugh, still gazing at each other.

"Alright, back to the board people," Jasper calls moments later, and Edward and I reluctantly leave our private, little bubble and turn back to our family. "Now this is how it's going to work. First, we need to build up Bella's resistance to blood. Of course, for now, we shouldn't start off with human blood, so we'll begin with animal blood. Now, Bella's hasn't been hungry for a long time, seeing as she hunts every day. So starting today, for the next seven days she will not drink any blood.

For each of those seven days, one or two of us will take her out to the middle of the woods where there will be no distractions, just the scent of blood coming from various animals. She will sit there for two hours and then come back in. The goal of this exercise is for her to learn how to resist the call of blood and get used to the feeling of being hungry. At the end of the week, we'll see how she's feeling. Hopefully, she will be able to sit comfortably in the forest for two hours at the end of seven days. If she cannot do this by the end of the first week, we'll repeat until she can.

A couple of rules. One, Bella has to be constantly breathing. She cannot hold her breath or that defeats the whole purpose and makes it easier for her to resist. Second, for those who go with her, there can be no talking. She must have no distractions. Third, she can have no help. Of course, if she is very distraught she may need some comforting words, but other than that, she has to deal with this on her own, with no help from anyone. Lastly, Bella has to last the whole two hours. Unfortunately, this means that if she gets so hungry that she tries to hunt during the two hours, it is the job of those with her to restrain her as long as necessary. Be careful as this can be very dangerous. She might get so blood-crazy that she forgets who she is and treats us as enemies. If this happens, it is best to let her go. Of course, it is crucial that the people with her make sure that she does not run into town and try to hunt humans.

Moving on, when she can go seven days without eating, we will then work on building up resistance. The next goal is for her to go without blood for two weeks. This will take some time. She'll go without eating for as long as she can until the pain becomes too much. Then we'll start from day one again and she'll once again go without eating until it becomes too painful. We'll keep repeating this procedure until she moves up to two weeks without hunting.

After this, it will be time to move onto human blood, which will be an even more unbearable step. Now, this is going to be a drilling process, I'll tell you that now. Carlisle will bring hospital bags full of human blood here and we will have to introduce Bella to the smell of human blood. We'll go slowly.

She'll start with a full belly, and when she can sit an hour with the bag of blood, we'll move to a day without animal blood, and keep moving up until without feeding for a week, she can resist the human blood for an hour.

Since the best of us would have trouble around human blood without feeding for two weeks, Bella will only be required to go a week without hunting. But by the end of this stage she will have to be able to stay _eight_ hours with the blood to stimulate the eight hours we spend at school.

Next, we will expose her to a real human. Again, this will be an incredibly slow process, seeing as we absolutely do not want to risk any human's life. On a full belly, we'll see how many hours she can sit still with the human in the house. We'll slowly work up to the goal of having her go a week without eating and then staying with human for eight hours.

From there, we just keep bringing in more humans and keep building up her resistance until she can comfortably be in a room full of humans. Any questions?" Jasper finishes, putting down his marker and facing us.

Everyone but me raises their hand. I'm still concentrating on some rather key phrases, such as _pain becomes too much, if she is very distraught, has to deal with this on her own, it is the job of those with her to restrain her, she might get so blood-crazy that she forgets who she is, drilling process, painful, unbearable_ _step. _What in the world have I gotten myself into?

Jasper seems pleased at all the raised hands. "Yes?" he calls on Rose.

"Where are we going to get the humans?" she asks.

"Good question. I figure we can invite a few classmates over under the guise of doing schoolwork or a school project," Jasper answers. "Of course, Alice will do the inviting over." He smiles at his wife.

"Why Alice?" Emmett says indignantly, probably already knowing the answer.

"Because humans tend to like me better," Alice says smugly.

Edward nods in agreement. "Emmett, your size intimates humans, Jasper's scars and never-smiling face puts people at unease, Rose is rude to humans, and I…well, humans seem to think of me as arrogant and weird."

Rose snorts. "Imagine that."

Edward glares at her and I stifle a smile.

"Actually," Jasper ponders for a moment. "Edward could probably easily get some girls to come over."

I growl.

Emmett laughs. "The point of inviting humans over is so that Bella does _not_ kill them. I doubt bringing home Edward's admirers will help that cause."

"You have admirers?" I turn my face to Edward.

He pecks my pouting lips. "There's no one but you for me. Never has been, never will be," he tells me sincerely.

I smile at him and gently nuzzle his nose with my own.

Jasper clears his throat and I pull away reluctantly.

"Any other questions?" he inquires.

"When do we start?" Alice questions.

Jasper shrugs. "Now, I suppose. Carlisle? Would you like to do the honors of taking Bella out for her first session?"

Carlisle smiles. "Of course."

I grin nervously as I stand up. Carlisle follows my lead and also gets up.

Edward squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. "You'll be fine, love."

I nod and bend down to kiss his forehead.

Carlisle reaches out a hand for me. "Ready?"

"Let's do this."

oOo

"Are you nervous?" Carlisle asks after we've sat down in front of a random tree in the middle of the forest.

"Yes," I admit. "But it's more than that. I'm scared."

Carlisle's face turns concerned. "Of what, sweetie?"

I look up at the cloudy sky and think back to that day. "I remember what it felt like when I hunted that human. It was like I consciously knew that I should not go after him, yet my body still ran toward him. I was so hungry…" I recall the dry, achy feeling in my throat and the emptiness in the pit of my stomach and shudder. "I felt so out of control in that moment and so utterly helpless…I never want to feel that way again. Like there was a monster in me and it was finally coming out."

Carlisle nods in understanding. "We all have a monster in us, some more than others."

I shake my head in disagreement. "Not you, Carlisle. Not you." He protests humbly, but I just smile at him. "I want to thank you again for what you did. You really saved me that day when you dragged me away."

Carlisle grimaces. "I actually never apologized for that. I didn't like dragging you through the forest."

"Oh, but I'm glad you did. You did what you had to. There's no need to apologize."

He nods and gives me his trademark, gentle smile. "Well, I do so anyway. And, you know, I was scared when I let go of you. I feared you might attack me. I didn't know you. You could have had a dangerous power or be a seasoned fighter and then I could have been done for."

My eyebrows rise in realization. "You're right. What you did was dangerous. You could have essentially sacrificed your life for a human you didn't even know."

"Why do you sound so awed? I didn't even think of those things." He shrugs. "I just couldn't let a murder happen right in front and not do anything about it," he says simply.

"This is what I meant when I said you have no monster in you. You are literally the most giving, moral person I've ever met, that anyone has met," I say sincerely, in wonder.

"Oh, no," he disagrees firmly.

I laugh. "You know, Edward says I'm terrible at receiving compliments, but you're even worse—which is saying a lot."

Carlisle stretches his long legs in front of him, contemplating his answer. "I don't do the things I do to get compliments. I do them because it's what any reasonable person would do, and for that, I deserve no compliments. In my mind, one shouldn't get praise for doing the right thing, it should just be expected."

"But it's not."

"It's not," he agrees. "But it should be."

I study him incredulously. "You make it seem so simple."

"Do I?" Carlisle seems surprised. "I don't mean to. It's not always easy, doing the right thing. Like this," he gestures around us. "Going through years of hell just to make sure we never harm a human. That's not easy, but it's necessary unfortunately."

"Then why do it?" I question curiously. "I mean, what was going through your mind when you decided to hunt animals instead of people?"

"That this was my way out. I didn't have to be the monster that my dad hated. I could be something more, something good." He grins. "Sometimes it pays to do the right thing. I'm thankful every day that I dragged you away that day in the forest, or else you wouldn't have been a part of this family. And because I chose to hunt animals, I can be a doctor."

"About that, why take it so far? Why put yourself through such agony just to be a doctor?"

Carlisle's golden eyes crinkle and he smiles as if he expected this question. "You know, so many vampires have asked me that very question, but if they expected some grand, philosophical answer, they were sorely disappointed. The answer is simple really. I'm a doctor because I enjoy helping and saving people. Because I'm a vampire, I can smell and hear and see things that other doctors can't. Ironic as it is, because I'm a vampire I can save lives, not destroy them, and that's really important to me. It's so rewarding knowing that because of me, people's lives are better. I think that that is something everyone should strive to feel—that feeling that the world is better because you existed."

I furrow my eyebrows in contemplation. "I never thought of that. I always thought of our special abilities as bad things, things given to us so that we could hunt humans better. But we _can_ use our powers for good. I want to do that," I say decidedly.

Carlisle claps a hand on my shoulder proudly. "Good for you."

"Yeah," I nod, smiling. "Maybe Edward and I can take service trips or do soup-kitchen or something."

Carlisle grins at me. "Well, let's conquer this blood training first. We can't have you around humans until you're prepared." He glances at his watch. "And looks like you're getting there. Our two hours are up."

"Really?" I say in surprise. Time flew by so fast.

Carlisle nods. "Not so hard, right?"

I agree. I didn't feel any urge to hunt. Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought it would be. Little did I know that blood-training will be so hard and powerful in the coming months that it will test even Edward's and I's relationship.

oOo

Day two is a lot harder, but mostly because it's Jasper that took me out. He refused to let me start a conversation, reminding me that there was no talking allowed. I wisely decided against mentioning the little fact that the day before, Carlisle and I had spent the whole two hours talking. Unfortunately, the talking made a huge difference. Without anything for my mind to concentrate on, all I could think about was how I hadn't gone this long without hunting in months and how good some elk blood would taste.

Thankfully, day three and four was Esme and Emmett and they ignored Jasper's no-talking rule. Esme and I chatted about her own battle against blood-lust and she encouraged and advised me to be strong and not give up. Emmett kept me cracking up the whole time and I barely noticed the scents around me. However, in the quiet moments at home, I couldn't deny how my hunger was growing to the point where I was constantly uncomfortable.

It all led up to now, Day Five. It's Edward's turn to come with me and Jasper tagged along, not trusting that Edward and I wouldn't talk or make-out the whole time—apparently kissing wasn't allowed either. Figures. I had tried to get him to stay home, but he insisted and now I had absolutely no distractions to help me this time.

It doesn't take long for me to already feel _starved_. It's been five days without any food. _Five _days. I don't think I can last another. Every animal's scent in the forest swirls around me. So tasty, so delicious, so _tempting_. I want so bad to chase after those scents, but I can't.

Man, how much time has passed? It seems like it's been five hours. I glance at my watch. Oh. It's only been two minutes.

I'm screwed.

An hour later, I'm clawing the ground, desperate. I need blood. _Now._ I clench my fists. My throat is burning. I can't take it any longer. I'm so hungry, so, so hungry. A battle is raging inside me. To hunt or not to hunt. The side to hunt is winning hands down. I need a distraction or else the hunger is going to get the better of me.

"Bella, Bella, love, calm down," Edward's concerned voice breaks through my crowded thoughts.

I quickly realize that I have been hyperventilating and clawing at the ground again. I glance toward Edward's beautiful face and almost instantly, my hunger for blood transforms to a different hunger.

I'm not gentle with him. I shove him unceremoniously at the ground and put all my weight on top of him. I kiss him roughly, moaning in relief. _Yes_. This is exactly what I need. All the scents drift away the instant my lips touch his. His lips provide me the one thing I need—a distraction, and a heavenly one at that.

Edward is shocked and doesn't react until I forcibly part his lips and tangle our tongues together. Then, he eagerly puts his arms around me, holding me to him.

"No, no, no. Stop right now." I barely hear Jasper's irritated voice. "There is supposed to be no distractions."

Frustrated, I flip him off, which is so out of character that it silences him for a moment, but not for long.

"Edward, don't let her. You know she can't kiss you or the whole point of this exercise is defeated."

I expect Edward to just ignore his brother, but surprisingly, he loosens his grip and gently pushes me off of him.

"Edward?" I say, hurt and confused.

He looks torn. "He's right, Bella. You have to get through this on your own."

My face contorts in sorrow. "But I can't," I whisper miserably.

Edward pats my hand soothingly. "You can, love, I know you can," he says firmly.

"You think?" I ask feebly.

He nods. "Of course. Just concentrate and stay strong, my beautiful girl." He kisses my forehead gently.

I sniffle. "Okay." If he thinks I can do it, then I'll try my hardest.

The next thirty minutes are incredibly painful. I get so stressed and start hyperventilating, which just brings in more animal scents into my body, making me even hungrier, forcing me to panic, which just causes me to hyperventilate more fiercely. It's a vicious, miserable cycle that I can't stop no matter how hard I try.

Finally, at the end of the two hours, Edward carries my exhausted body home, whispering encouraging and supportive words into my ear the whole way.

oOo

Rose and Alice come with me the next day. Rose's presence actually helps a lot. I really don't want to look weak in front of her, so I'm more determined than ever to see these two hours through. Soon, though, the pain becomes too much and I start hyperventilating again. Surprising, Rose doesn't give a snarky comment like I expected, but instead calmly pats my hand, helping me calm down. The two hours are just complete torture, but somehow I make it.

But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for day seven. Jasper and Edward come again—Jasper because he wants to see how I do on the last day and Edward because he wants to be there for moral support.

Two minutes in and I just can't do it. My throat is causing me agonizing pain, my empty stomach is tortuously empty, and my whole body is shivering and twitching. I'm breaking down physically and it's not long before I start breaking down mentally.

Desperate for relief, I turn to Edward, something I always do when I need help. I want to kiss him so bad. I _need_ him, now more than ever. And it's so frustrating. Here, I want to hunt, but I can't and now I want to kiss my boyfriend, but I can't do that either. It's all too much and I start sobbing.

Edward and Jasper are so surprised by my sudden cries that they don't react immediately, which makes me sob harder. God, I'm so pathetic. But I don't care anymore. I don't care about blood-training or rules or schedules. I hop up, intent on feeding from the nearest animal.

"Grab her!" I hear Jasper yell before he grabs one of my legs and Edward the other, knocking me flat on the ground.

I cry out, sounding like an injured animal as they both pin me to the ground. _I'm so hungry_ is all I can think as I thrash about. I feel the monster in me creeping out, trying to take the control. I turn my head to the side, seeing Edward's pained face. There is only one thing that can stop the monster. I _need_ it. I need it so bad.

I stare at his tempting lips. "Please," I whisper, my voice broken.

Edward knows what I'm asking for and his face softens before hardening in determination. I can tell he's about to say no, but just then I hear a herd of deer near us racing through the forest, thrusting their delicious scent at me. The monster rejoices.

"Please!" I cry, arching my back in pain. "Please, please, please!"

Edward groans before giving in and fiercely kissing me. The monster vanishes and I dig my hands into Edward's soft hair.

He growls against my lips. "Never again beg for my lips, Bella. They're yours," he says firmly before turning his face away and dragging his teeth along my neck. "My whole body is yours." He pushes his hips onto mine. "_I'm_ yours."

_Yes. _

I nod quickly, dragging his head back to my lips. He knew exactly what to say. We go back to our frenzied kissing and when we finally come up for air, its dark out and Jasper is nowhere to be seen. Who knows when he left. Safe to say, though, that Edward is never allowed to come on any more blood-training sessions with me.

Since the seven days are up, I hunt down the nearest deer and its blood is the best thing I've ever tasted. It's bittersweet, however, since the whole time I am drinking, I think about how the next day I will have to repeat the whole seven days again.

oOo

The next six days of sessions is nowhere near as tough as they were the first time. Since experiencing what day seven feels like, the others don't seem as hard anymore. Don't get me wrong, though. Of course it is still hell each and every day, but it's working. I'm slowly and painfully getting used to feeling desperately hungry.

Day seven arrives and I anxiously follow Carlisle and Jasper into the woods. We all lay down on the grass and Jasper glances at his watch, telling me that the two hours start now.

Immediately, animal scents surround me. They mock and dance around me. It's tormenting, harrowing pain. I can just taste the blood flowing easily, deliciously through my parched throat. I claw at my neck, an unconscious habit by now, and whimper.

An hour in, I'm sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth, hugging my knees to my chest and sobbing.

Carlisle gently places a hand at the small of my back, trying to soothe me. "It helps me to think about happy memories, to distract from the scents around me," he says softly.

I sniffle and nod. I do as he says. At first, my thoughts immediately go to my time with Edward, but that doesn't help because it just causes me to miss him and wish he was here with me. He always knows what to say or do to make me smile and laugh. But no, Jasper and the others agreed that Edward was no longer allowed on my sessions, for he proved to be too much of a distraction. I agreed with the decision, mostly because I knew that seeing me in pain and not being allowed to do anything to help me is literally Edward's definition of hell.

Instead, I think back to the last memory I felt happy that doesn't involve Edward. What comes to mind is the intense chess match Carlisle and I had just last night. I had beaten him for the fourth time in eight months. I was so elated when I had said checkmate and then taken down his king. My mind drifts back to that moment. Carlisle's disappointed, yet smiling face, Edward's and Alice's loud cheers, Esme, Rose, and Jasper clapping, Emmett lifting me up and swinging me around. It especially stands out because moments like that are suddenly so rare for me in the midst of this daily torture.

I decide to go over the chess-match again. To see where Carlisle went wrong, what I did right, how I could have checkmated him earlier, what I need to do next time, etc. Because of my vampire memory, I can go through each turn all over again and analyze each one. All I concentrate on is that chess table. Surprisingly it works. I get through the rest of the hour without breaking down, thankfully.

I turn to Jasper, hoping that I was well-behaved enough that I passed the seven-day process.

He smiles at me, pride shining in his warm, gold eyes. "Congrats, Bells. You did it!" He hugs me. "Now, we can move on to the fourteen-day stage. Tomorrow, we'll start all over and you'll go as long as you can. Then we keep starting over until you can last fourteen days."

"That's great, Jasper," I say distantly, wanting to politely end the conversation so I can finally, _finally_ hunt.

He doesn't notice and continues to prattle about who knows what. I don't want to be rude, but I just spent two hours resisting the urge to hunt, and now that the horrible week is finally over, I want nothing more than to sink my teeth into some soft fur and drink tantalizing, sweet blood.

"Bella?" Jasper asks worriedly.

I'm brought back to the present and realize that I am salivating venom. I giggle—I can't help it. The image of drinking was literally mouth-watering.

"Sorry, Jazz, I'm just really hungry," I say apologetically. I really am interested in what he has to say, I just can't concentrate right now. Not with the scents still swirling around me, taunting me.

"Of _course _you are." Jazz hits his forehead with his palm. "Sorry, Bells. I wasn't thinking. Go on and hunt. You deserve it."

"She does," a voice behind us agrees. "So much so that I don't think she should even have to go out and hunt."

I turn around to see Carlisle's beaming face holding up a dead dear. He had hunted it down while Jasper and I—rather, Jasper—was talking.

Usually I would have taken the time to thank Carlisle for his thoughtful gesture, but as soon as I laid eyes on that deer and saw blood pouring down from its open wound, I instantly tackle it from Carlisle's hands and sink my teeth into its mangy fur. I moan in pleasure as the rich texture flows down my throat. I gulp and gulp until there is no blood left, but even then, I still suck, desperate for more.

"Bella," a male voice says urgently, putting a hand on my shoulder.

Still in predatory mode, I growl at the contact and move to protect _my_ food from these invaders. That's when I realize that I don't have much to defend. My head clears and I stop growling at poor Carlisle to see what I have done.

"Oh my god," I gasp as I take in the scene.

During my rapid, hysterical drinking, I had ripped the deer into pieces. Two legs are here, another leg over there, and another near Jasper. Its head is decapitated and its mangled body lays at least twenty feet away. Splatters of dry blood covers the grass and I feel sick because I feel a strong urge to lick up the blood.

I bury my head in my hands, ashamed of myself.

"Oh, Bells," Jasper takes me into his arms as I start sobbing. I can't stop looking at the massacred deer—living proof of the monster I am.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Carlisle asks gently, his gold eyes filled with such concern. "It didn't feel any pain. It was already dead, hon," he tries to comfort me.

"But Carlisle," I try to explain once I've calmed down enough, "it's still not right. It literally gave its life for me and I just disrespected its body."

He looks surprised. "I didn't know you looked at it like that."

I shrug. "Well yeah. As a human, I loved animals and it has always bothered me that I have to kill them daily. Of course, I know that I have to, seeing as it's either doing that or taking a human's life. But still. It doesn't mean it should be rough or violent. I always try to kill them painlessly and then take the time to bury them. It's the right thing to do, right?" I smile slightly at Carlisle.

"It is," he smiles. "Now how about Jasper and I give this deer a proper burial while you go hunt some more."

I nod in agreement before taking off.

oOo

Half an hour later, we enter the house. Edward is pacing the foyer, waiting for me.

"How did you d—?" He doesn't even have time to finish his sentence before I have him against the wall.

It's been this way the whole week. Sure, kissing Edward distracted my mind from concentrating on my constant hunger, but it's more than that. Being out in the woods, incessantly being denied my hunger left me in hunter mode, a primitive state. When I saw Edward, I saw my mate. The hunger for blood is replaced with the hunger to please my mate, and that hunger is something I don't have to deny myself. It's to the point where I _crave_ his touch; I _need_ his lips on mine.

Edward, of course, has no objection to my rather rough greetings and, like always, kisses me back eagerly, carrying me upstairs to my room where we can have some privacy. And like we've done all this week, we kiss for many blissful hours before going down the stairs to join the rest of the family.

The Cullens are so helpful. We quickly learned early on that I don't deal well with silence. I need noise, something to distract me from my hunger. So whether it be a pleasant conversation, an action-packed movie, a long board game, a chess match, loud video games, or whatever, the Cullens were there to help, just like they always are.

oOo

The thing one has to know about blood-training is that each day you go without feeding, your hunger increases exponentially. The hunger is ten times worse as it was yesterday and yesterday was ten times worse than the day before. Each day I think I've reached the limits of hell, but nope, the next day is even more painful.

Day one through seven go the same as they have the previous two weeks. Somehow I manage to get through days eight and nine with my sanity intact, but only just barely.

Now Day 10 has arrived and I'm dreading going through another two hours of the worst kind of torture.

Alice and Emmett run alongside me as I dash through the forest, and already enticing scents of deer and elk fill my nostrils. I sigh as I pick a random place to sit down and Emmett and Alice join me on the ground.

I clutch my stomach in pain as the wind blows toward us, practically shoving the animal scents at me. I groan, anguished. I might not get through today.

Just imagine your classic example of a man in the middle of a dessert, nearly dying of thirst, when, miraculously, he sees a lake full of water. He runs to the water, but even as he sprints, the lake gets no closer. It's always there, but always out of his reach.

This is millions of times worse because I'm essentially on an island, surrounded by water, only I can't have that water, no matter how much it taunts and mocks me.

I'm proud to say that throughout this whole time, the monster has never completely taken control, but I fear that is about to change today.

It doesn't take long. Understand that it's my instinct to hunt when I feel hungry. Fighting off this instinct has caused such excruciating pain that I can't, I _can't_ help myself from finally giving into it, to letting the monster take control.

I jump up from the ground with a growl. Immediately, Alice and Emmett grab me. But to my mind, they are no longer Alice and Emmett, my best friends, my sister and brother, but instead are attackers, stopping me from taking what is _mine_. _My _food, not theirs.

I snarl at them, fighting their grip.

"Bella," the male yells, "are you done?"

I don't understand what he means, all I know is that I _need_ blood, _now. _

I thrash and struggle and I feel their grips lessening. I'm breaking free.

"She's done, Em," the small female says. "Let her go. We'll follow her to make sure she doesn't go into town."

Free now, I run and take down the nearest elk, roughly taking its life and gulping down its sweet nectar. I don't stop my rampage until I've taken down three more animals, not even pausing to see exactly what kind of animal I'm actually killing.

Once my hunger has subsided—and with it gone, the monster retreats—I glance at the gruesome pieces of whatever animal I had just hunted.

I bury my head in my hands and bite my lip, trying and failing to keep the sobs at bay. I hate this. I just hate it. This whole blood-training is turning me into someone I'm not, someone I hate with a burning passion—a monster.

Alice and Emmett try to put their arms around me in an attempt to comfort me, but I flinch away from them. I'm disgusted with myself. I could have hurt them. _I could have hurt them_.

"She won't calm down," Alice says helplessly to an equally bewildered Emmett.

"Stay here," he suddenly commands decisively. "I'll get him."

He comes back minutes later with just what I need, someone I'll always need.

He takes one look at me before immediately rushing to my side.

"Hold me," I say pitifully.

He envelops me in his strong arms. "Always, love," Edward whispers into my ear. "Always."

* * *

**There you go! I know this update is a little late, but this chapter was pretty hard for me to write. Poor Bella. I'll update in couple of weeks, hopefully. I know a lot of you wanted to read about more fighting sessions with Bella and Jasper, but that's still to come. Next chapter, though, we'll take a break from blood-training and fighting for Bella's birthday! And you know what a birthday means—some family-oriented activity. What do you think the Cullens will be doing for her birthday? Tell me in a review! Plus you get a sneak preview where you will actually see what they are doing. And what should Edward get her? **

**And it's fitting that the Cullens are going back to school next chapter and so are most of us :( This is the last chapter of the summer. School starts for me in exactly one week, so when you hear from me again, I'll be in the midst of junior year, ugh. **

**Review :)**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valeire**


	23. September 13th

**Heyyyy! **_**Finally **_**here is chapter 23! A big thanks to everyone who reviewed :)**

Enjoy!

* * *

_Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. _~Jane Howard

* * *

"Staring at that won't make it ring any sooner," Esme says calmly.

I jump, embarrassed at being caught. I've been staring wistfully at my still phone for hours. Every five minutes, I check to make sure the volume is up and that the phone is not broken. I just can't believe that Edward still hasn't texted or called me. The Cullens have been at school for the past two weeks, and each and every day, I wait for my phone to light up, but it never does.

That's right. The Cullens are back at school, which saddens me greatly. Despite the awful month of August, which was full of tortuous blood-training, my summer spent with the Cullens was the best summer of my life. We didn't go out for any vacations, but that didn't matter. We spent all of our time together, either in the house or in the woods. We played and laughed and joked and were just a carefree family.

But now it's over. Summer is gone and with it the sun has seemed to disappear at the Cullen house. Rose and Emmett are leaving soon, there is less time to spend together, and our daily rituals are changing. No more walks to the meadow with Edward or chess games with Carlisle or reading with Jasper.

I don't like all these changes, this one least of all. I just don't understand. Edward always used to call and text while he was at school. I mean, he did so last school year. I smile briefly, remembering how he would always call me during his lunch period and text me throughout the day, sending me sweet words and reassurances of his love.

I don't know what's different this year. It seems like there's something between Edward and I now. Some distance or wall that I can't break through. But maybe it's just me. Edward hasn't brought anything up and still acts like a loving boyfriend when he gets home. Maybe he's just busy. It is his senior year after all.

Or…"Do you think his phone is broken?" I ask Esme hopefully.

She gives me a look of pity and puts a hand on my shoulder, silently telling me that she didn't think so.

I sigh sadly as I slide the phone across the kitchen table, not wanting its blank screen to mock me any further.

"It gets better, sweetie," Esme reassures, her gold eyes twinkling with certainty.

I'm about to snap at her that she wouldn't know, but then I realize that she does, probably better than I do. After all, she does spend all day away from Carlisle too.

"It does?" I ask softly, looking down at my lap.

From the corner of my eye, I see her nod. "Of course. He'll be back soon, you'll see."

I nod reluctantly. Of course he'll be back, but that doesn't stop me from missing him. I tear my gaze from my phone with a sigh. The worst part is how much I desperately miss Edward. From going to spending every minute of every day together to spending eight hours apart is awful. I wish he was here with me, holding me. Or, for God's sake, I wish that he would _at least_ call. Maybe he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him?

I hate to sound so needy, but I can't help what I feel. I miss him so much. I beat my head against the counter-top. "I'm pathetic," I groan.

"No," Esme disagrees, patting my back, "you're in love."

I tap my fingers anxiously against my thighs. I do love him and I could just call him myself. But no…I don't want to seem like a clingy, dependent girlfriend who needs to be with her boyfriend constantly (even though I do). Plus, what if he's in class? I don't want him to get into trouble. A poor excuse, I know, but really, if he wants to hear from me he should call me himself. I mean, what is stopping him from calling me? Unless he really is not missing me, not craving me like I crave him, his touch, his smile, his voice…

My fingers inch toward the phone. My god, his voice! How I long to hear it, its smooth softness, its richness. Even from across the phone line his voice has the power to make my knees go weak and my skin tingle.

But no. Let him miss _my_ voice. If he does, then _he_ can call. I will not be the first to break, I think to myself stubbornly.

With that decided, I stand up and leave the room. But for the rest of the school day, I can't deny that my ears are perked, like they have been the past two weeks. Yet, like always, the phone does not ring.

oOo

A half an hour before Edward and Alice are due to arrive, I start walking over to the garage where Rose spends her time while the Cullens are at school. She, Jasper, and Emmett already graduated from Forks last year.

I had pouted when Edward mentioned the graduation ceremony one night at our meadow over three months ago.

"I'm assuming that I can't go?" I had asked in disappointment.

He kissed the top of my head. "Sorry, love," he whispered. "But you know that you're far from ready to go to such a crowded event."

I nodded slowly to show that I understood.

Edward frowned, concerned over my less-than-pleased expression. "I could stay with you," he offers.

I couldn't help but smile. He was so caring. "No, silly. You go support your brothers and sister. I mean, they only graduate once—oh wait…" I trailed off.

Edward laughed. "See? There will be many more graduations for me to go to."

"But I _want_ you to go to the ceremony. Plus, like you said, there will be plenty of graduations in the future. I'll go to the next one."

"You mean mine, right?" Edward's eyes brightened at the thought.

I nodded and smiled. "Of course. And when they call your name, I will be that crazy girl cheering the loudest."

Edward nuzzled my neck affectionately. "You'll be _my_ crazy, gorgeous girl and everybody will be jealous, wondering what I ever did to deserve you."

I laughed. "I think it's the other way around, hon."

"On the contrary, love, I think I got it right the first time." He gave me his breathtaking smile before leaning in to peck my lips softly before I could argue.

I rested my head against his chest. "You just clap loud enough for the both of us when Jasper, Rose, and Emmett get their diplomas."

"Certainly, love," Edward promised. "And you shouldn't be so glum. I'm sure Esme's going to video tape the whole thing." He smiled as if something amused him.

"What?" I questioned curiously.

He chuckled as he ran a hand through my hair. "I was just remembering the year video cameras first came out. Esme was so ecstatic when she learned that she could tape our graduation, but she was still new to the technology stuff, so she had no idea what she was doing. Her facial expression was hilarious when she put the tape into the VCR and got just a dark screen. Turns out she hadn't turned the camera on."

I laughed along with Edward, enjoying his carefree laugh. I loved to hear past Cullen stories.

As we go back to snuggling, a thought occurred to me.

"But wait, aren't Jasper, Rose, and Emmett going away to college?" I demanded, horrified at the thought of them not living with us.

"Jasper is going to a nearby college so he can stay near Alice. Though, originally, he and Alice were going to have their own little apartment up in Seattle and Alice could have easily left an extra hour or two early to commute back to Forks for school."

"Well, why don't they do that?" I asked curiously.

Edward looked hesitant to answer. "Um because Jasper wants to continue living here so he can keep track of your training. Now, now," Edward hasted to add at the sight of my frowning face, "he's staying because he _wants _to. And Alice wants to stay here, too. Plus, there's no point in buying an apartment since we are only going to stay here for another year."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Carlisle is really pushing his age. We've already stayed here for two years. Soon, we are going to have to move so that people don't get suspicious of the fact that none of us have aged. We were going to move this year, but since you still can't be around humans, its best that we stay put. Hopefully, by next year, you will have enough control of your thirst to travel. As for Emmett and Rose," he changes the subject when my face becomes even more disgruntled, "everyone thinks that they're going to college in a different state, but they're really going to travel around Europe for a year."

"Huh?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"Yeah, sometimes we do that. Couples go off to live alone and spend more one on one with one another. But no one stays away from the family for more than a year. We prefer to stay one big, happy family."

My eyes widened at this. "I want to do that! This summer. We can go anywhere. Let's go to Italy! And, oh, Spain. And Paris. And—"

"Bella, slow down," Edward interrupted, laughing happily. "_We_ can't do that. Not for a while, anyway. It's going to be at least another year until you can be around humans, not to mention in the middle of a populated city."

"Oh," I deflated. "So we're not going anywhere this summer?" At Edward's head shake, I groaned. "I never realized what a burden I am."

"What? What are you talking abo—" Edward started to protest indignantly.

"Just look at the facts. It's because of me that Alice and Jasper can't live by themselves like they want to. It's my fault we are not moving, which puts the whole family in danger because people will start questioning our lack of aging. And it's my fault that the whole family can't take a vacation this summer!"

"Bella, that's all irrelevant. Look, given the choice, all of us would rather have you than all that other stuff. Alright? You're not a burden, you're an asset. Trust me," Edward pleaded softly.

I sighed and nodded, seeing that he was being sincere and that reassured me.

"And hey, next summer, if you work hard enough, we'll travel all over Europe."

"Really?" He nodded. "Promise?"

"Promise," he grinned.

And we sealed it with a kiss.

And now I am keeping my end of my promise—I'm trying my hardest to control my thirst, no matter how painful it is.

After going the ten days without feeding, I started the process over again and managed to go twelve days. Now Jasper's given me this week off, thankfully. Afterwards, though, it's back to training, and I know the Cullens are hoping that this time I go the full two weeks without feeding so we could move on to using human blood.

When I arrive at the garage, I poke my head in and see Rose's legs under her red BMV.

"Hey, Rose," I greet, walking in. Since Rose and Emmett are leaving soon, I've been trying to spend my days at home with them. I hate that they're leaving, especially now that Rose and I are getting closer every day.

"Unless you want a broken limb, I would suggest that you do not sit on my car," she says calmly from the ground.

_Or maybe not_…I think in amusement as I back away from the hood of her car.

"And I hope you didn't bring you melodrama with you."

I make an offended sound. "I don't have any melodrama," I protest.

I hear a snort. "Please, you act as if Edward just left for war."

I pout. Let me tell you, if you ever want sympathy, don't go to Rose. "I miss Alice, too," I protest feebly.

"I'm sure you do, but I know you don't just stare at your phone hoping for a text from Alice."

"Maybe I do." She snorts and I narrow my eyes. "That's not a very attractive sound, you know. Plus, don't act like you won't miss us when you and Emmett leave."

She scoots herself out from under car and stands up, grabbing a towel from the top of her car. She wipes her greasy hands and I scowl. Even in a pair of old overalls, a ratty shirt underneath, and smudges of grease on her face, she still looks beautiful.

"Of course I'm going to miss everybody," she says sincerely, "but I'm excited to spend more time with Emmett. I know it's hard, Bella, balancing family and your mate, but trips like the one Emmett and I are taking help a lot. About ten months with just him and me, traveling and visiting famous cities." Her eyes gleam. "It's going to be fun, but both Emmett and I will miss you guys." Uncharacteristically, she squeezes my hand briefly before turning briskly away, back to her usual self.

She rummages through a tool box, pulling out a wrench and motioning for me to help her pull her hood up. Then she starts digging through wires, inspecting this and that, apparently done with our conversation. But I'm not. What she said has added to my determination to get my blood thirst under control so that Edward and I can take a private vacation too.

"Do you think Edward would like to do what you and Emmett are doing?" I ask hopefully.

She rolls her eyes. "Please, you're not really asking that, are you? Have you've seen the way that guy looks at you?" I smile, but then frown, unsure. My still unringing phone burns a hole through my pocket.

Rose's looks at me, her honey-gold eyes softening, knowing what I was thinking. "Oh, Bella, I have a confession to make." She purses her lips. "Last year, Emmett, Jasper, and I might have given Edward a hard time."

"What do you mean?" I question.

"Well, you should have seen him. The way he would constantly look at his phone, waiting for you to reply back or how his face would light up when his phone vibrated. It was sweet in a disgusting way and Emmett, Jazz, and I teased him for it." She shrugs, unapologetic. "Maybe that's why he's not doing it this year."

Hope fills me. Maybe there is a reason after all! I grin hugely, giving Rose a big hug from behind.

She laughs in surprise before swatting me away. "I thought you would be mad at us."

"Oh, I am," I say matter-of-factly. "And I know just how to get _you_ back." Grinning mischievously, I hop onto the very top of her car, making sure to land softly as to not dent it. I rub my shoes against the surface, letting the dirt on my shoes stain the car.

Rose growls. "Get off my car," she demands.

I start doing to moon-walk.

Rose looks like she doesn't know whether to laugh or scream at me. Hoping for the former, I do the running-man, a move Emmett spent a great time teaching me how to do.

She laughs, half in amusement, half in menace. "Oh, I'm so gonna get you."

I grin before jumping down and running toward the house. Rose follows right behind me. I laugh freely, knowing she can't be too mad at me. Just then, the Volvo pulls up and Emmett, Jasper, and Esme appear at the front porch.

I immediately run behind Emmett. "Control your crazy wife!" I squeal as Rose tries to move past her husband.

Emmett laughs as he grabs Rose and holds her to his broad chest. "Come on, Rosie, baby, play nice. You know it's a special day tomorrow."

Rose relents, but continues to glare at me over his shoulder.

But I ignore her, tapping Emmett on his back. "What special day?"

"You don't know?" Jasper says in disbelief.

I lean my head to one side. "It's…Saturday tomorrow, right?"

"Ooh, she doesn't have a clue." Rose grins. "This is going to make this so much more fun."

"What are you talking about?" I demand, getting annoyed that they were withholding information from me.

"Patience, love," I hear Edward's silky voice as he wraps his arms around me, already having gotten out of his car.

I melt into his embrace and lean my head back to peck his lips. "I missed you," I say earnestly, nuzzling his nose.

His eyes cloud for a second, before blinking at me affectionately. "As I missed you." He kisses the top of my head. "And tomorrow is a surprise."

I groan. He knows I dislike surprises. "A good or bad surprise?"

"You'll have to see," is all he gives me.

I narrow my eyes, determined to get it out of him, but then he puts his lips on mine and I forget what I was so annoyed with.

_The Next Day_

At exactly eight in the morning, Edward's watch beeps. Edward glances at it before turning off the chiming with one button.

"Well," he sits up and pushes aside the book he was reading. "It's time to go to the meadow."

He says this so seriously that I have to laugh. "What?" Did he really set an alarm for when we are going to the meadow?

"You heard me." He glances at his watch again.

"Well, what if I don't want to go right now? I am reading, you know." I wave my book at him, though I'm only teasing him. Of course I would rather go to the meadow than read a book.

He playfully growls before coming over and reaching down to throw me gently over his shoulder. I squeal with surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to the meadow," he answers simply.

I roll my eyes and kick out my legs, silently telling him that I would like to be put down. He ignores me and starts toward the stairs.

"This is ridiculous," I mutter as we pass the living room where all the Cullens peek at us, amusement glinting in their eyes.

"Do you want to be put down now?" Edward asks when we're safetly outside.

"No," I decide, smirking. "I'm kinda enjoying the view," I say appreciably as I glance over his backside.

Edward lets out a surprised half gasp, half-chuckle. "Is that so?"

I nod, still grinning. "Now, giddy-up, cowboy!" I swat his rear.

We both laugh as he sprints forward. He doesn't put me down until we are at the edge of the forest.

"Race you," we both say at the same time before taking off toward the meadow at top-speed.

oOo

"I win," I boast, laying down on the soft grass and looking up at his smirking face.

"Oh, no, I think I won," he says, moving to lie down next to me.

"What do you mean?" I say indignantly, thinking that he was trying to argue that he won. "I was ahead of you the whole time."

"Exactly," his smirk widens, "meaning, I was behind you the whole time. As in, I took my time enjoying my view, so ergo, I won."

I gasp and hit his arm, though I'm secretly flattered. "You're sick," I laugh.

"No, I'm a man. You're wearing skinny jeans. What do you expect?" Edward raises an eyebrow.

I grin and roll over so that I'm resting on my elbows above him. "How is it that you always make me feel attractive?" I ask rhetorically before kissing him deeply. He groans in response and pulls me down so that I'm lying on top of him. "See?" I pull back to turn my attention to his neck. "Like just now when you move me like we can't get close enough and kiss me like you can't get enough of me."

"That's because I can't get enough of you," he says, out of breath, before pulling me back to his lips. "I will never of tire of this."

"That's good because I don't think we'll be stopping any time soon," I whisper, kissing him earnestly.

Eventually, he flips us over so that he is on top. As I massage his scalp with my fingers, he kisses down my neck and collarbone before kissing his way back up, not stopping until his kiss lands at the top of my head. Then he bends his head down to nibble on my ear, which he has never done before. My heart flutters in pleasure and I lean my head back so he can have better access. He does it again and I jump as all of a sudden a soft rumble is heard.

"What was that?" I ask, startled.

Edward laughs, looking especially pleased with himself. "You purred."

"I _what_?" My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I'm not a cat."

Edward shrugs. "Just as we can growl and snarl and hiss, vampires can also purr."

I purse my lips as I process this information. Vampires can purr…but I've never heard Edward do it. Suddenly determined, I bring his lips to my own. I offer him my bottom lip to suck on, which he always seems to especially like doing and tug on his hair roughly, which has never failed to make him groan.

He moans as he kisses me back, but no purr. I part his lips and tangle his tongue with my own as my hands roam across his chest. Still nothing. Disappointed, I pull back. Edward makes a sound of protest, but I can't bear to look at him. A horrid thought crosses my mind. What if I'm not a good kisser? Does Edward not enjoy it when we kiss?

"Hey, beautiful, what's wrong?" Edward asks in a concerned voice.

"You didn't purr," I say dejectedly, avoiding his gaze.

"Oh, Bella." Edward smiles, "Come now, love. You have to know that even when I'm just holding you, I have to restrain a purr, let alone when I'm kissing you."

"Really?" I say hopefully.

He nods as he pecks my forehead. "Of course, my dear."

"But then why restrain it?" I frown.

He looks away. "It's…it's not the most masculine thing to do."

I scoff. "That's ridiculous Edward. When you're with me, I don't want you to hold anything back," I say earnestly.

Edward smiles. "As you wish," he whispers before leaning in to kiss me.

I close my eyes happily and slowly lick his lips, asking for entrance. He parts his lips willingly and I softly explore his mouth, drawing in his minty breath. His hands squeeze my sides softly and I begin to gently bite down on his bottom lip. Suddenly, a rich, low-pitch vibration emanates from Edward's chest. I pull back in surprise as it dawns on me that I had just heard Edward's purr. Very masculine and _very_ sexy. I feel a tingling sensation at the pit of my stomach and I want nothing more than to draw that sound out of him again.

Edward is avoiding my gaze as though he's embarrassed, but then he seems to notice my reaction. As he meets my dark, hungry eyes, he half-growls, half-purrs. My ears ring. That has to be the sexist sound ever made. We both lunge for each other at the same time. Edward pins me to the ground and quickly captures my lips. I eagerly put my arms around him and I'm about to kiss him back just as feverously when his phone beeps again.

I stare in shock as Edward actually pulls away from me. "Are you serious?" I furrow my eyebrows as he digs through his pocket to turn off his alarm. Edward's usually the most reluctant to let something interrupt us from kissing, whether it be his family or something else.

Edward stares at his phone then back at me and then back at his phone, looking deeply torn. Finally he sighs and pockets his phone. "We have to go," he says in resignation.

"Go? Go where? And why did you set another alarm?" I question him, bewildered.

"We're going home," he answers simply, standing up and offering me a hand. I stare incredulously at his outstretched hand, still confused. "You're going to have to trust me," he says softly.

I nod slowly "Of course," I whisper before taking his hand in mine.

oOo

The house is eerily silent as Edward and I enter. Confused, I look around before taking a big whiff. The Cullens are in the kitchen. Edwards wordlessly leads me there. As we near the pitch-black room, I roll my eyes. Even through the blackness, I can see Emmett's broad frame trying to conceal itself under a table. Now realizing that the Cullens were probably playing a trick on me, I flip the light switch with a scowl.

"Surprise!" Widening my eyes, I see not only Emmett, but also Jasper, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, and Rose come out from their various hiding places around the kitchen.

"Well did we do it? Were you surprised!" Alice asks as she bounces up to me.

"I smelled you guys in the kitchen so I knew you were here and I did see Emmett under the table," I answer, still baffled.

"I told you not to hide there," Rose groans. Emmett grins, unconcerned.

Alice pouts, looking genuinely upset.

"But I was surprised!" I hurry to reassure.

She brightens up. "We got you, didn't we?" She looks proud of herself.

I nod and smile. It's true, I realize as I look around. I certainly wasn't expecting this. My confusion deepens as I see the empty pots and pans scattered around and the Cullens wearing various shades of aprons.

"What's going on here?" I ask.

"You still haven't figured it out?" Rose questions dubiously. "I mean, hello, we don't just throw surprise parties for anyone, you know."

Surprise party? I was still under the assumption that this was just another Cullen prank.

"It's September 13th," Jasper prompts.

That's when it dawns on me. "Oh no," I groan.

"Happy Birthday, love," Edward whispers into my ear.

I turn on him. "You! This was your idea, wasn't it?" I say accusingly.

"Actually, technically, it was your idea," Carlisle says reasonably.

"Yeah, miss 'let's acknowledge people's birthdays by doing something fun and family-oriented,'" Jasper quotes in a high-pitched voice that I assume is supposed to resemble my own.

"Yeah, but I meant that for Edward's birthday," I protest, "not mine."

"You can't have it both ways, hon," Esme says.

"Plus this is your _18__th_ birthday!" Emmett exclaims.

I shrug. "But…I didn't really turn eighteen."

Rose rubs her face, exasperated. "You know you're being such a hypocrite, right? You're the one who wanted us to celebrate birthdays!"

"You know what, you're right," I say, realizing that I was being narrow-minded. The Cullens did, after all, go to all this trouble for me, and I should be more grateful. "This is sweet, guys, really. Thank you," I say sincerely.

"That's more like it," Carlisle says appreciably.

"Now let's get started!" Alice bounces on her toes.

"What are we doing?" I say curiously. From the aprons and pans, I already have a guess, but…"We're not cooking, are we?"

"Of course we are," Esme says with bright eyes.

I can't help but smile and glance at the other Cullens. "But you guys think cooking is weird! You're always teasing Esme and I about it."

Emmett shrugs. "But you love cooking and it's your day today, so why not?"

"Thanks," I say, touched that they were willing to give up an afternoon to spend in the kitchen doing something that they didn't particularly enjoy doing. "What are we cooking?" I add eagerly.

"Birthday cake, duh," Jasper grins.

I laugh. "Great!"

"Now," Esme gets to business, "I found this really great recipe for a homemade angel fruit cake. That's your favorite, right, dearie? That's what Edward told me."

"You remembered," I say, turning toward my wonderful boyfriend in shock. I had mentioned that in passing a long time ago.

"Of course," Edward says, looking surprised that I even had to ask. "I remember everything you say."

My heart melts and I peck his lips. "Thank you," I whisper, nuzzling his cheek.

"Alright, love birds, simmer down," Rose snorts, though her honey eyes are soft.

"Yes, let's get started, shall we?" Carlisle suggests, moving toward the recipe book. His eyebrows pucker as he reads over the page. "Cream of tartar," he whispers, perplexed. "I wonder what that is."

Esme shoves her husband away good naturally. "Alright, Rose, get half a cup of sugar, Carlisle, you get a tablespoon of salt, Edward, we need a cup of flour, and then Jasper and Emmett, I want you guys to sift the sugar, salt and flour four times. Bella, get the eggs and tartar out. Alice, try to find the mixer and get a mixing bowl out, will ya?"

Everyone follows her orders. When the salt, sugar, and flour is measured and ready, Emmett and Jasper appear dumbfounded.

"What does sift mean?" Jasper whispers.

Emmett shrugs, a look of concentration on his face. "Maybe its fancy lingo for mix these things together? I say we just throw everything in the bowl."

I roll my eyes, amused. "Here," I grab the sifter and chuck it at them. Jasper catches it easily and studies it seriously.

"Put all the ingredients in and then turn the crank," Esme explains.

Emmett follows her instructions. "Cool," he says appreciably as white powder comes out and falls to the ground.

"Well, good, Emmett," I say slowly, "but next time sift above the bowl so everything doesn't end up on the ground."

"Honey, what do you want to do with these egg whites again?" Carlisle calls from across the kitchen as Rose and Edward examine the hand mixer.

"Beat them," I answer for her.

He frowns. "Beat them? Why? They haven't offended me in any way."

Esme and I look at each other, exasperated, before bursting out in laughter. Turns out this might be harder than we imagined. None of these Cullens have worked in a kitchen for at least half a century.

"No, hon, use the mixer," Esme say patiently. He still looks confused, so she elaborates. "The thing Edward and Rose are studying as if it has the answer to the meaning of life."

Edward and Rose don't seem to hear this. "Hey, Alice, we can't figure out how to turn this on."

Alice walks over to them and looks at the buttons. "Huh, well I think you just move the switch off the off line."

"Yes, but where does it go?" Rose says, starting to get impatient.

"Let's try six," Edward suggests. They do, but nothing happens.

"Try plugging it in," I say, trying to stifle my amusement, motioning toward the wire hanging from the machine.

"Psh, we knew that," Edward scoffs, looking slightly embarrassed as he plugs the wire into an outlet.

"Ahh!" Rose yells in surprise as the whisks start whirling. She drops the mixer and jumps back. "What the hell was that?" she demands, hissing at the offending object.

Esme picks the mixer up and puts it into the bowl of egg whites that Carlisle had prepared. "See? It blends the egg whites together."

Rose sniffs. "Well, what stupid human invented it? It almost took off my finger."

"Well, hon, most know to switch the mixer to off before plugging it in, and then you move the switch to the number you want it on," Esme explains calmly. "Now, here, Edward. Blend this until it's foamy and then add the cream of tartar. Can you handle that?"

"Of course," he says confidently as he takes the blender from her. But he must have not been expecting the vibration of the machine because he lifts the blender away from the bowl in surprise, sending bits of egg white flying around the room.

"Ahh!" Rose screeches in disgust as a piece lands on her hair.

But Esme solely seems to care about the egg whites smearing her counter. She doesn't say a word, but just bangs her head lightly against a cupboard.

Emmett's and Jasper's sudden raised voices draw my attention to them.

"How many times did you guys sift?" I ask, noticing that they were still sifting even though the recipe only calls for doing it four times.

"Four," Emmett answers. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Well, he did four, I did five," Jasper elaborates.

"Aha!" Emmett exclaims, pointing a finger at Jasper. "I knew it! So it is my turn to sift."

"No, let me do it one more time," Jasper urges.

"No," Emmett refuses stubbornly, reaching for it. Jasper doesn't let go though. They start to play tug-a-war with the sifter. I begin to tell them to knock it off, but then the poor sifter can't take it anymore and is torn right down the middle by the two powerful vampires.

I move right next to Esme and also start to bang my head against the cupboard.

oOo

"It's been an hour and we still haven't gotten past step three," Esme whispers into my ear.

I nod in agreement, letting out a puff of air. After the first try in which the egg whites were destroyed and the sifter broken, we had restarted, managing to find another sifter. This time, Esme took the time to patiently explain to an attentive Edward how to use a hand mixer and I carefully watched over Emmett's and Jasper's sifting. But soon a huge argument broke out between Edward and Rose about whether the egg whites were beaten enough, leading to a cracked bowl, and then I had discovered that Carlisle had mistaken sugar for salt. Carlisle was largely distressed by this, telling everyone who was willing to hear about how was he supposed to know the difference, they all looked the same, after all. Esme later told me that her dear husband wasn't used to making technical mistakes.

This time around, I'm beating and Esme is doing the sifting as we both give menial orders to the others that they couldn't possibly mess up.

"Do you need a hand, love?" Edward asks mischievously as he moves to stand behind me. "I am, aft r all, an expert now," he adds proudly, referring to how, under Esme's guidance, he beat the egg whites quite well last time around.

"Sure." I smile as he presses his body against my back and places his arm over mine. "Okay, so move the blender until it's in the middle of the batter, like so," he guides my hand before wrapping his free hand around my waist. I soon get the impression that he is only giving me this 'lesson' as an excuse to get close to me.

Grinning hugely, I tuck my head back onto his shoulder. "And then?"

"And then keep it there for a few minutes," he says distantly, seeming to be much more interested in nuzzling my neck than his supposed lesson.

I laugh. "You're a great teacher, Edward," I tease.

He nods in agreement. "You're doing great, love." He pulls his arm away from mine so now both his arms are wrapped tightly around my torso. He hums as he places an open-mouthed kiss on my neck. My hands shake as my breath catches. He places another kiss a little further down, and this time his tongue peeks out to taste my skin.

"Careful, love," he hums wickedly as the mixer wobbles wildly.

"Well, stop kissing my like that," I hiss.

"Like what?" he asks innocently. "Like this?" He kisses my shoulder again, this time letting his tongue out for longer.

The mixer breaks under my grip.

Everyone groans. "Well, fourth time has gotta be the charm, right guys?" Alice says optimistically.

oOo

Actually, it turns out the fifth time is the charm. The fourth time we went as far as adding the vanilla extract, but Alice had dropped the bottle and smothered the stiff batter with way more extract than was needed. The next time around, Esme put on some fast-paced music that lifted the tension right out of the room and helped everyone relax and have more fun. Emmett's and Jasper's erratic dancing also led to laughs and stifled giggles.

"What are we doing with the cake, anyhow?" I wonder as I start to pour the patter into multiple pans.

"Light candles and sing happy birthday," Alice answers cheerfully.

"Really?" I turn to look at everybody's eager faces. "Aww, that's so sweet."

"Too bad it's not your 16th birthday," Emmett says, grinning. I stare at him in confusion. "'Cuz you know, that's the _sweet_ birthday, right? Don't they call it that? Sweet sixteen? See, Jazz is laughing 'cuz it was an awesome joke."

"I'm laughing because it was such a _dumb_ joke," Jasper refutes.

"Yeah, you kinda ruined a family moment there, Em," Alice quips.

"Oh," Rose waves a hand dismissively. "We have forever for plenty of family moments."

Everyone nods in agreement and I take that time to put the cake batter into the oven, set the timer, and spin happily around. "Alright, that's it." I clap my hands in satisfaction.

Rose and Alice slump against the counter at my words. "Finally," Rose mutters.

"That was exhausting," Alice agrees.

"But fun, I hope," Esme says as Carlisle continues to twirl her around the kitchen.

"Very fun," Emmett reassures as Jasper nods in agreement.

"And very dirty," Rose adds, winching as she tries to run a hand through her batter-encrusted hair.

I laugh as we all study our messy selves. Edward grins as he wipes white powder from my cheek.

My eyes twinkle brightly and I in turn give him a quick peck before licking the trial of cake batter at the corner of his mouth. Even though the batter tastes nasty, I swallow before calmly walking off to join Emmett and Jasper on the other side of the kitchen.

It doesn't take long for Edward to catch up with me. "You tease," he whispers as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

I smile. "That's what you get for making me break the mixer."

Edward chuckles warmly against the back of my neck before spinning me around. _Dance with me?_ his bright topaz eyes seem to ask as he rests one hand on my hip and the other finds my hand. My smile widens. We haven't danced since prom. I close my eyes contently and rest my head on Edward's shoulder. I'm happy to let him do all the leading.

"Did you have fun, love?" he whispers against the top of my head.

I nod eagerly. "Yes. And thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" Edward questions, his voice just a little too innocent.

"Oh, come on, I know this whole thing was your idea." I lift my head to look into his loving eyes.

"You're right," Rose says matter-a-factly. I'm startled by her voice. As is my custom whenever I'm with Edward, I forget about my surroundings. Now all the Cullens are coupled off and are also dancing around the kitchen. "No one had any idea when your birthday was."

"I knew," Alice protests. "Well sorta…I knew it was in the fall," she adds, looking guiltily at me.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"You can't really blame us," Carlisle says defensively. "We're not used to thinking about birthdays."

I laugh. Everyone looks so contrite. "It's fine, really guys. And thanks again. I usually hate my birthday, but today was really fun," I say sincerely.

"And it's not even over yet," Edward says cryptically, looking pleased with himself.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I eye him suspiciously.

He just grins. "Come on." He leads me eagerly out of the kitchen and into the living room corner where his piano proudly stands.

He lets go of my hand for a moment to dig under the piano. He resurfaces with a thinly wrapped present.

"Oh, Edward, you didn't have to," I say, touched.

"Of course I did," he smiles. "Now, go on, open it."

I do so carefully, wanting to make sure that I didn't destroy the beautiful, golden wrapping paper. But apparently I was moving too slowly, for Edward takes the present from me, unwraps it quickly, and hands me back a smooth, white paper. I look down at it, realizing that it's a music sheet full of music notes.

"I was gonna give you a necklace or something," Edward begins nervously, "but then I thought better of it because you've never liked it when people spent money on you. It's not much, but I worked really hard on it."

"Edward, I love it," I reassure, before hesitating. "But…what exactly is it?"

He smiles indulgently before tapping the top of the page where 'Bella's Lullaby' is written in beautiful cursive.

"You composed this?" I say in surprise. "For me?"

He nods, still with an expression of uncertainty as if he is worried that I'm not going to like his present.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I exclaim. "Play it!" I shove him eagerly onto the piano bench.

He laughs, pleased by my reaction. He pats the spot next to him and I hurriedly sit down also. I put the music sheet on the stand for him to see, but apparently he has it memorized for he just closes his eyes and plays.

It starts off dark and brooding before moving to be more mournful with splashes of uncertainty, which leads to a more light-hearted tune, but still with moments of unclarity. Then suddenly the mood shifts to one that oozes happiness. I grin, watching Edward's hands move back and forth through the piano keys. It's hard to believe that one person can execute such a beautiful melody. He's played for me before—he's even tried to teach me how to play—but he's never played like this. It's so full of emotion and his face so full of concentration and peace as his fingers gently caress the keys. And what makes this even more amazing is the fact that this is _my_ lullaby. It's the story of us that he's playing so remarkably.

"You okay?" Edward whispers, unsure, and I can just imagine what my face must look like.

"Don't stop," I protest earnestly and this seems to reassure him for he continues where he left off. "It's wonderful, Edward, thank you," I say, my voice thick with emotion as I lean against him. This has to be the best birthday present ever.

A large smile breaks across his face. "It's all you, love."

"I love you," I answer simply.

I breathe a small sigh of relief. I've been worried since school started that something had come between us, but it seems like Edward and I are just as close as we were since summer started, maybe even closer.

At least for now.

As if mirroring my thoughts, the lullaby suddenly stops, the last note full of uncertainty, not knowing quite yet if our ending is one of happiness or regret.

* * *

**Sooo as this chapter has alluded to, next chapter there is some trouble in paradise. Maybe because of more fighting? More blood training? Or something else? Review to find out!**

**And I'm so sorry for the delay in updating. I realize that it was a super long and unreasonable amount of time. I swear I had it done three weeks ago but my flash drive broke and I lost it. I had to rewrite all eighteen pages. I was so mad. Anywho, I'll try my very best to update soon, but junior year is hell, unfortunately. **

**And guess what! September 14****th**** passed a while ago but that was Becoming a Vegetarian's first year anniversary! Yay :) **

**Thanks for Reading!**

**REVIEW!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie **


	24. Let's Talk

**Hey! Finally, finally, finally, here's chapter 24. And it's a long one :) Enjoy! And thanks so much to all my reviewers! **

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_The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak_. ~Author Unknown

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**Sun****day, October 11th 5:00 P.M.**

I had finally done it. Yesterday I had successfully completed Day 14 of Hell. Meaning, I can now go without feeding for two weeks and sit out in the forest for two hours without cracking and hunting down some poor animal. It took me over two months to do so, but hell, somehow I had done it. The Cullens were very proud. Jasper said in between congratulatory pats on my back that if I continue on the pace I'm going, I should be done by the end of summer. Worst case scenario, he couldn't help but to add, was that I finished a few months over a year from now. Yeah…I was hoping for the best case scenario.

Unfortunately, my success meant that I now had to tackle human blood, which, as Rose had helpfully informed me, would be exponentially worse than anything I had to go through with animal blood.

"You ready?" Emmett nudges me out of my thoughts.

I sigh. "As ready as I ever will be."

Emmett narrows his playful, golden eyes, not satisfied with my answer. "Yes Emmett! I'm super excited for this. I just can't wait!" he says in voice that I'm guessing is supposed to resemble my own.

I fight back a smile. "You expect me to be excited for this?"

"Hell yeah. The sooner you get this over with the better, right?"

"I suppose."

"I suppose," he mocks, grinning. "Come on, stop looking like you're about to meet Godzilla. We wouldn't be introducing you to human blood unless we knew you could handle it."

"I suppose."

He narrows his eyes again.

I grin.

His face brightens. "Ah, there it is." He points triumphantly at my smile. "I knew I could get one out of you."

I roll my eyes, leaning back against a tree. We had decided to do this outside at the edge of the woods. That way, the house wouldn't stink of human blood, harassing every occupant. For my first session, Carlisle and Emmett would stay out with me to supervise.

Speaking of Carlisle…"How much longer until Carlisle gets here anyway?"

Emmett shrugs. "Probably no more than a couple of minutes. He just had to run to hospital to get the blood."

"And how exactly is he getting the blood?" I ask curiously, trying not to laugh at the image of Carlisle casually strolling out of the hospital he worked in with a bag of blood under his arm.

"Well…it's not exactly legal, per se…" Emmett trails off, avoiding my eyes.

Realization dawns on me. "He's _stealing _it," I say in shock.

"_No_!" he denies adamantly. I raise an eyebrow. "Well, _I_ would say that we're simply _borrowing_ it. He's going to give it back, and no one will know any different."

I'm about to reply when my phone goes off. Scowling at Emmett to let him know that I still disapprove, I dig through my pockets.

"Yes?" I answer the phone.

"Start holding your breath, hon. I'm about a minute away," Carlisle quickly says before hanging up.

I suck in a breath and, against my instincts, I hold it in. A minute later, Emmett and I spot him jogging toward us. I'm about to yell a greeting but Carlisle holds a finger to his lips, reminding me to keep holding my breath. When he reaches us, he climbs the tree next to the one I'm leaning on and quickly arranges the bag of blood so that it's hanging from a branch of the tree. Jumping down, he then walks toward me and gently guides me so that I'm about 50 meters away from the bag.

He faces Emmett. "She's full, correct?"

As Jasper explained, the first day I have to gorge myself on animal blood right before being introduced to human blood. If I could resist the blood for an hour, the next day I wouldn't drink any animal blood beforehand and try to resist for another hour. If I failed the first time, then I'll continue gorging myself until I get it right. My next goal is to go a week without feeding and be able to sit in front of a bag of human blood for an hour without breaking down. Which, Jasper said, could take months for me to accomplish.

"Yup," Emmett answers Carlisle's question.

Carlisle nods. "Okay then, Bella, start breathing. Your hour starts now." He glances at his watch.

_You can do this_, I think silently to myself before inhaling.

"Carlisle!" Emmett yells as I immediately sprint towards the tree, intent on ripping the bag apart and licking every single drop of blood.

I snarl as I'm tackled to the ground. I thrash about, but I can't get up. I'm still breathing and every inhale draws in the heavenly, irresistible scent of blood. Not just any blood, _human_ blood. I can't even articulate what the scent does to me. It's a thousand times better than animal blood. No, I can't even compare the two, that is how much better human blood smells like. Oh, I can just imagine the taste! I can just picture the _ambrosia _running down my throat. It doesn't even matter that I had just sucked three elks dry. In fact, why even hunt elk when there's this delectably-scented blood?

I keep looking at the bag, knowing that in just a few seconds it will be in my hands. Even Emmett's strength is not enough for my hunger.

"Carlisle," Emmett hisses again as I almost escape his grasp. Another body lands on top of mine and I groan as I'm sprawled across the wet grass, two vampire on top of me.

"What the hell?" Emmett says angrily.

"Sorry," Carlisle grunts as I dig my elbow into his rib cage. "I was trying to figure out how to set the timer on my watch. I didn't know she would react so strongly. Didn't you make sure she hunted?"

"She had three elks!"

Carlisle responds but I barely register his words. Just breathing in the blood makes the previous two months days of resisting animal blood laughable. My throat burns like it never has before and I can't think of the fact that I just punched Emmett in the face or kicked Carlisle in his shin. All I can think about is the blood just hanging there, its scent teasing and taunting me.

"Goddamn Jasper and his goddamn boxing lessons," Emmett mutters angrily as he takes another uppercut to his face. "Are we almost done?"

"It's been two minutes," Carlisle responds, out of breath as he tries to shove down one of flying limbs.

I almost growl in pleasure, knowing that I am winning. They won't be able to stop me from getting what is _mine_. Wiggling my arms out of Emmett's grasp and shoving Carlisle aside, I stand, but just as soon as I do, I'm knocked down again, this time with a pair of more feminine arms.

"I had a vision…knew you needed help…Jasper's coming too," a voice says though I'm too out of it to make sense of what she is saying. I snarl as three more pairs of hands pull me face-down to the ground.

One heavy body brings my hands around so that they're resting on my back and then proceeds to sit on them. Two bodies sit on my legs and another lighter but still firm body sits on my shoulders. I growl fiercely, trying to get up but it's impossible to do without using my arms or legs. Nonetheless, the blood's call is too tempting to just give up so I try my hardest to free my arms, but they're held too tightly. I whimper minutes later after slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cannot free myself.

"There, there, Bella, fifty minutes left."

"Try not to think about it."

"Don't look at the bag either."

"It'll be over soon."

"It gets easier."

"Just get used to it. It's always the hardest the first time."

The voices continue to throw their worthless reassurances at me and soon I just block them out. It's too painful for me to concentrate on anything. I feel my mouth opening and closing but I don't even know what I'm saying, though I'm probably moaning in pain. My throat is on fire, my stomach tortuously empty, my whole body twitching, and my lungs are hyperventilating. Every breath adds to the fire, every breath cripples me, every breath is nothing less than hell.

A hand strokes my hair, an arm pats my back, a mouth whispers something into my ear—more reassurances but nothing stops the pain.

What feels like days later, someone shoves my shoulder, trying to get my attention. I look dully into a pair of golden, concerned eyes. The mouth says something and I blink blankly.

I feel pressure leave my calves and almost instantly a figure climbs the tree, grabs the blood, and takes off. My eyes widen immediately and anger burns through me. Why does he get the blood? I growl. That blood is mine. _Mine_. Once again I begin to thrash about. There are only three competitors now. I can take them. I'll do _anything_ for that blood. But my hands and legs remain trapped under three bodies.

"Bella, Bella," someone's shouting, but I can't figure out what they're saying. But wait…that's _my_ name they're shouting I realize. My head slowly clears. Yes, and that's Emmett sitting on my back and Jasper on my legs. And that's Alice who's shaking me and calling my name.

"It's okay," she's saying. "Carlisle took it away. It's gone. Just keep breathing, keep breathing. The scent it gone, just keep breathing in clear air. Just keep breathing," she keeps repeating. I do as she says and the red haze clouding my mind recedes just a bit at a time.

I gasp when it hits me what just happened. "Oh my god, oh my _god_," I whisper. Emmett and Jasper, seeing that I was more myself, slowing get off of me, ready to tackle me back to the ground if I make any sudden movements. But I'm done. The monster is gone. It's just me, it's me.

"Bella?" Jasper says in concern.

I ignore him and curl up in a ball. I had hurt them. I had punched and kicked them. I yelled at them. I had wanted that blood so much that I would have stopped at nothing to get it, even if it meant hurting all the Cullens. I was wrong. The monster isn't gone. The monster is still here. The monster is me, it's me.

"Do you want me to hunt some more deer for you?" Emmett asks in the gentlest voice I've ever heard him use.

I shake my head. After knowing what human blood smelled like, could I ever go back to just animal blood?

"Alright, sweetie, let's get you home, then," Alice says softly and strong arms help me up.

"You okay getting home? I could carry you if you'd like," Emmett offers.

I shake my head again. That would just make me feel more pathetic. After a few more sympathetic glances and words full of pity, we take off toward the house.

oOo

"How did it go?" Edward is waiting for us at the front porch. I don't even look at him as I enter the house. He'll read his siblings' thoughts for the answer and I don't want to be there when his face collapses in disappointment and pity.

"We're fighting _now_, Jasper," I say sharply, already halfway into the living room, heading toward the back door. I don't look back to see if he is following.

"Bella," Jasper starts sympathetically when he joins me in the backyard. "I know it wasn't perfect, but for a first try—oof!" I punch him in the stomach. He stares at me shock before his eyes harden and a smirk emerges. "Alright, is that how it's going to be?"

I grin. This is just what I want. Ever since that first lesson, Jasper and I have been training daily, working on blocking, punching, dodging, and kicking. My form has been critiqued and perfected and I've learned many boxing strategies. I soon beat Esme, then Rose. I've beaten Carlisle once and half the time I can beat Emmett. Though, Emmett was quick to remind me that in few more months my newborn strength will deplete and I would no longer be able to beat him. Edward refuses to fight me, but even so I doubt I could beat him. He's tied with Jasper for best fighter in the family and I still have not been able to beat Jasper, though I've tried many times. But I really don't mind the losing. I love the strategy involved and the adrenaline that runs through my veins. It's just what I need to distress from all the blood training because it's a way to distract myself and focus all the anger and frustration I feel after a grueling day of resisting blood.

Jasper kicks me in the stomach, sending my flying. I hit the ground hard and wince from the sting of pain that shoots up my spine. Before I can get my bearings, Jasper is on top of me. "It'll be better tomorrow, I promise."

"I _don't_ want to talk about it," I say through clenched teeth before heading-butt him and rolling us over so that now I'm on top of him.

"Damn girl, where did you learn to head-but like that?" Jasper hisses in pain.

I laugh. "When Rose did it to me."

"She would," Jasper grins. "She knows all the dirty tricks in the book."

I open my mouth to reply, but then think better of it and land a punch to his face instead. "Trying to distract me, huh?"

Jasper grunts and knees me in the stomach in response. He jumps up, and I follow. "I know you don't want to talk, but I really think—" I aim a punch to his chest, but he blocks it. "—that we should discuss it—" I kick both of his legs in one swoop, knocking him to the ground, but he bounces back up without batting an eyelash. "—since it's obviously bothering you." He lands a punch on my shoulder.

"It's _not_ a bothering me," I hiss as he punches me again. He tries to kick me but I dodge it and then quickly throw myself at him, knocking him to the ground.

We exchange more punches and kicks until finally Jasper is sitting on my back and holding my hands captive. "Mercy?" he asks.

I struggle, but can't free myself. I groan. "Yes, fine." He gets off of me and offers a hand to help me up. "Rematch," I say, grabbing the offered hand and pulling him down again.

And so it goes for the next two hours. By the end I'm breathless and feeling exhilarated. I had forgotten all about my epic fail at blood training today. Well, that is until Jasper and I enter the living room and see all the Cullens on the couches. They fall silent as soon as they see me, making it obvious that they had been talking about me.

"Bella," Carlisle stands up. "We—"

"Wait," I hold a hand up. "Can I say something first?" Everyone nods.

I bite my lip. "I just want to say sorry to Carlisle and Emmett…for you know, attacking them."

Emmett snorts. "Please, girl. Nothing fazes me. I'm practically made of steel." He flexes.

"When Alice and I got there it looked like Bella almost had _both _you and Carlisle beat," Jasper says, a hint of pride in his voice. "She's my little prodigy, huh?" He ruffles my hair.

I flinch and move away. "You guys shouldn't make light of this. I could have really hurt someone."

"Aww, come on, Bells, it wasn't like that." Emmett grins. "It was just a little scuffle."

"No, it wasn't," I insist firmly. "This wasn't a play fight. I wasn't myself…I just…I wanted the blood so much. I know that isn't an excuse, but that's all I could think about. I didn't even care that I was hurting you guys." I shake my head, disgusted with myself.

"No one blames you, sweetie," Esme promises, her eyes bright with understanding. "We've all been there and felt that way at some point or another." Everyone nods in agreement.

"But, if it makes you feel better," Carlisle adds, knowing I'm still upset, "Emmett and I forgive you."

A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips. "Thanks."

"Now, come," Alice pats the spot between Edward and her. "Let's stop with all this self-hating and have some fun."

I walk toward her, but instead of sitting where she wants me to, I hesitantly sit down on Edward's lap. I look at him, hoping that this is okay and that he's not terribly disappointed in me. His soft eyes meet mine and he pulls me to his chest.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He cradles me.

I dig my head into his shoulder and breathe in his comforting scent. "I am now," I whisper. He kisses the top of my head in response.

"Actually," Jasper says, walking to the front of the room, "before we have fun, we should debrief and go over today's session."

"No."

Everyone stares at me. "Well, why not, Bella?" Esme asks, immediately concerned.

"I just…I don't want to talk about it." I bury my head deeper into Edward's chest.

Edward runs a soothing hand through my hair. "Then we won't talk about it," he says in a voice that dares someone to argue with him.

Jasper sighs. An awkward silence ensues as I avoid looking at anyone's eyes.

"So Halloween's coming up in less than three weeks. Who's excited? I know I am. I'm thinking of going as a vampire, you know, shake things up a bit this year," Emmett says, expertly changing to a lighter subject and diffusing the tension in the room. I glance thankfully at him and he winks at me.

We talk about Halloween costumes for the next twenty minutes, Alice and Rose monopolizing the conversation for the most part. Soon, Edward and I make an excuse to go upstairs and be by ourselves.

"You know," Edward begins as soon as he shuts his bedroom door, "you shouldn't feel so—"

I interrupt him with a frustrated sigh, starting to get annoyed. "_I don't want to talk about it_."

"Oh," he looks hurt. "That's fine, then."

I sigh, this time a soft one full of regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. It's just that I'd rather be doing something else right now."

"Oh?"

I smile as I walk up to him. I place a gentle hand on his cheek and his face immediately softens. "This thing would also make me feel better."

"Do tell, my love," he grins, knowing where I'm going with this.

I stare lovingly into his eyes. "I haven't seen you since this morning before you left for school." I bite my lip. "I missed you."

He rests his forehead on mine. "And you know I missed you."

"Well, you know what they say, miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me," I sing.

His chest softly rumbles with a purr. "With pleasure," he says before leaning in to give me a kiss that leaves me breathless and wanting more. He gladly repeats the gesture, again and again and again.

That is, until it's time for him to leave for school.

_Two weeks later_

"Edward," I moan as he roughly sucks at my neck. I tug at his hair and he rewards me by returning his lips back to my waiting ones. He blissfully sighs my name as my hands slip under his shirt and my fingers trace his hard abs. Pretty soon, I can't take it anymore. His lips are back to ravaging my neck and I need to feel more of him. I tug on his shirt, hoping he gets the hint. He does. He quickly pulls his gray, wool shirt off. I've slipped my hands under his shirt plenty of times and if he wore a collared shirt I would always unbutton it—when he learned of this he wore collared shirts much more often—but his shirt has never been completely off. The sight makes me crazy. I pull him back down onto me with all my strength—which probably hurts him, but he sure doesn't complain.

I kiss him fervently and he purrs. _God_, he _knows_ what that sound does to me. I bite his bottom lip and soothe the sting with my tongue, making his purr turn into a growl. I lose myself in the kiss, needing this relief so badly. It was another day of awful blood training and like always, Edward's lips never fail to distract me from the hunger that constantly surrounds me like a black cloud. It's so easy to turn my hunger for blood to hunger for his kisses, his touch, his sighs, his moans. It's a hunger I don't have to resist, nor would I ever want to.

"Bella," he suddenly pulls away from me and I whimper at the loss of contact. Confused, I look down and realize that my hands are dangerously close to his belt buckle. Surprised, I quickly move them up again, but Edward's already off the bed.

"You didn't even realize what you were doing, did you?" He shakes his head, his face expressionless but I know him well enough to see the hurt swimming in those topaz eyes of his.

I sit up, still confused as to what just happened, but by the time I open my mouth, my room is painfully empty.

"Wait, Edward," I rush out of my bedroom and see his door open, letting me know that at least he isn't mad enough to shut me out. "What's wrong?" I demand when I see him lying face down on his couch.

He doesn't answer. I sigh and move to knell down in front of the sofa. I hesitantly put a hand in his soft hair and thankfully he doesn't pull away.

"I'm sorry. If you feel like we are moving too fast, you only need to tell me—"

I see him flinch and he moves my hand away from him. "If _I _think we are moving too _fast_? Is that a joke?" He laughs, though it's safe to say that it's a humorless one.

I furrow my eyebrows in hurt and confusion. "Well, what is it then?"

He sits up and looks mournfully at me. "Am I just a distraction for you? Be honest."

"_What?_"

"Because it feels like all we've been doing for the past two weeks, no the past few months, is kiss."

I scoff, my initial hurt at his response quickly turning to anger. "Oh, I'm sorry that it's such a burden for you to kiss me!" I hiss.

"That's not what I mean, Bella." He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Well, then please enlighten me as to what exactly you do mean." I put my hands on my hips.

"Just what I said. For the past months, I've gone to school, come home, you go off blood training, you come back, go fight with Jasper, then come upstairs and you kiss me until I leave for school and the whole damn cycle starts all over again."

I can't believe this. "_I_ kiss _you_? You seem to forget that _you_ always kissed me back. I certainly have never heard you complain before. Well…until now."

"Because I'm just now starting to realize that just maybe all I am to you is someone to kiss in order to distract you from your hunger."

I can't tell whether he's more hurt or angry, but I quickly determine that I don't care. His accusation still rings in my ears. I stand up and ball my hands into fists. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm right, though, aren't I?" he says, seemingly unaffected by my anger.

"How _dare_ you? I _love_ you."

He continues as if I haven't spoken. "When's the last time we've talked, like really talked, Bella?" he demands. "Huh?"

I turn away from him. "I can't speak to you right now." I start towards his door.

"Oh, of course, at the first sign of an actual conversation you turn away. Typical," comes his biting retort.

I whip around to face him. Even I'm shocked by the anger I feel. "You know what, Edward? I would_ love_ to talk to you when you're done being an ass. Come find me then, will ya?" And with that, I leave him in his room, both of us fuming.

I march downstairs and storm into the living, still furious.

"I _don't,"_ I hold up a hand before any of the Cullens can say a word, "_want to talk about_."

I hate the pity and sympathy shinning in everyone's eyes. I turn away, running a hand through my hair. "Come on, Jazz, let's fight." I desperately need something to distract me and release some of my jumbling emotions.

That day is the first day I beat Jasper.

oOo

"We're going to be late, Alice," Edward's rarely-used hard voice calls from downstairs.

"Don't you have someone to say goodbye to first?" she demands, not getting up from her spot on her bed.

"_Shh!"_ I shove her.

She widens her eyes innocently at me. We hear the front door slam seconds later.

"I guess that answers your question," I mumble, stung.

"Oh, Bella, leave it to me. I'll straighten him out," she promises, patting my hand.

"_No_," I say sharply, but then soften at her hurt expression. "Something's clearly bothering him and he needs to figure it out. _On his own._ Just…stay out of it, okay? When…_if _he talks to me, I want it to be because _he_ wants to, not because any of you guilted him into it."

"Fine," Alice sighs, "but I can't stop him from reading my mind. And right now I'm thinking about what a jerk he is."

"Come on, stop that." I ruffle her spiky hair. "He's your brother. Don't be mad at him."

"But, Bella, _you're_ my sister," she says as if this explains everything.

I smile, touched. "Thanks, Ally," I say sincerely. "Now, you better go or else he'll drive away."

She scoffs. "I'll like to see him try." However, she gets up anyway, but suddenly Jasper is there standing in front of her, blocking her exit.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" He pulls her into an embrace.

She giggles before standing on her tippy-toes to give him a kiss.

I look away, immediately heart-broken. Just yesterday that was Edward and I saying goodbye to each other before he headed off to school.

I know I put a brave face in front of Alice, but Edward leaving without saying goodbye really hurt me, more than I'd like to admit. We've fought before and he's been mad at me…but never like this. He's never shut me out, never ignored me, never refused to even acknowledge me. And what am I supposed to do? Beg for forgiveness? I don't even know what I did! In fact, _he _should be the one apologizing to _me_.

"Bye, Bella," Alice's voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

I wave glumly.

Alice purses her lips and faces her husband. "Take care of her, will you, Jazz?" she whispers.

"I can hear you, you know. And I don't need a babysitter, thank you very much."

A car honks outside. Alice rolls her eyes. "Okay, I gotta go. Do as I say, Jazz. Love you guys! Bye." She's out of sight in a blink of an eye.

"Can you close the door on your way out?" I mumble, flipping onto my stomach and burying my head into a pillow.

"Um…are you kicking me out? Of my own room?"

I sit up, disoriented, before realizing that he's right, we are in his room. I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm just…yeah, I'll leave then." I stand up and brush by him on my way out.

"Not so fast, Bella." He puts a hand on my shoulder.

I wrench my shoulder out of his grasp. "I'm _fine_, Jazz."

He snorts in disbelief. "Don't forget, little sis. I can read your every emotion. You are anything _but_ fine."

I scowl. "I just don't—"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't want to talk about it," he finishes my sentence, waving a hand dismissively.

I glare at him, about to respond, but before I can, Emmett walks into the room.

"Hey, Bells!" he greets cheerfully.

I groan in frustration at the sight of him, at the happiness he emanates. God, I'm in such a bad mood and there is nothing more I want to do right now than crawl into my bed and wallow in my confusion. "I just want to be alone right now," I tell them. "Why can't you guys understand that?" I throw my hands in the air in exasperation.

Emmett looks like someone just killed his favorite puppy. "Geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

I sigh, trying to calm down. "Look, I know you guys want to cheer me up…but I meant what I said. I just want to be alone." No sooner had the words left my mouth than Esme and Rose join the party.

"Boys," Rose says as she grabs my arm and starts to drag me outside. "We got this from here. What Bella needs is some girl time."

"_No_, I don't," I say through clenched teeth, starting to get really irritated with all of them.

"Sure you do, sweetie," Esme pats my back knowingly, leading me down the stairs and into the living room.

I try to struggle from her grasp but stop when I lay my eyes on the coffee table full of DVD cases and cartons of ice cream. I do a double-take. "_Ice cream_?"

Rose shrugs, a little embarrassed. "Well, yeah. Isn't that what human girls eat when they're sad?"

I crack a tiny smile at this and nod.

"And I figure we can watch hot guys and throw popcorn at the screen at all the mushy-gushy stuff," Rose adds.

I study Esme's and Rose's hopeful expressions and tentative smiles, both of them looking like they think I will refuse them and march out. Though, I think with chagrin, that is what I've been doing lately. But no longer. I'm stronger than that. Blood training won't keep me down and nor will Edward.

"What movies do you have?" I question, plopping down onto the couch.

Rose grins in satisfaction. "Okay, take your pick. We have Brad Pitt, Ryan Glosing, Owen Wilson, Justin Timberlake, Leonardo Dicaprio, Ryan Reynolds, J—"

"Brad Pitt," I interrupt, knowing she could go on forever.

She nods approvingly. "Good choice. Ooh! Let's watch _Troy_. He's butt-naked in one scene."

I look down, embarrassed. "Totally naked?"

"No worries, you only see his back side." I can just picture her rolling her eyes. "And you know how human parents are always awkward with sex scenes? Well, Esme's totally cool."

Esme sits down next to me. "I _am_ a pretty cool mom."

I laugh and snuggle up to her side. "That you are."

Rose joins us on the couch. Our eyes meet; I know that Rose isn't particularly comfortable with, as she calls it, mushy-gushy conversations, so I don't say thank you, but just let my eyes convey it. She blinks at me and I know she gets it.

"So what are we going to do with the ice cream?" I ask.

Rose taps her chin in thought. "Hmm…oh!" She widens her dark-honey eyes in excitement before leaning conspiratorially toward us. "Let's do a drinking game, except with ice cream. We'll invite Emmett and Jasper down to watch and every time Emmett comments on something, we eat a spoonful."

Usually I would disagree. Emmett is known for his excessive commentary during shows and movies and ever since the last and first time I had thrown up as a vampire, I haven't eaten any human food. But…I need to do something fun, even if I regret it later when I'm heaving into a toilet. So Esme and I look at each other before laughing and agreeing.

Minutes later, Emmett and Jasper are sitting on the couch, the movie has started, and there is a carton of ice cream on each of our laps.

"You know, he isn't even that attractive," Emmett says as we watch the opening scene.

We each take a spoonful and I force the thick liquid down my throat.

"Why are you guys eating that? You'll just throw it up later," Jasper says, confused.

"None of your business," Rose bites back, and that's that.

"Look at his long hair, it's so bizarre."

"I bet I could be a better warrior."

"He's not that good of an actor."

"How long is this movie, anyway? I'm already bored."

"That is obviously fake blood."

After two hours of Emmett's chatter, we take out _Troy_ and put in _Moneyball_. Several hours later, Rose, Esme, and I are laughing uncontrollably as we dry-gag into Esme's bushes.

"God, I think I ate the whole carton." Rose rubs her stomach.

"Do you know how many times I wanted to tell Emmett to _just be quiet_," Esme shakes her head, her hands on her knees as she bends over the bushes.

I let out another painful dry-heave. "Tell him to be quiet? Please, after that 100th spoonful, I was ready to strangle him." We all laugh at that. And if you have never laughed and dry-gagged at the same time, let me tell you now, it is not a fun experience. But for some reason, we cannot stop laughing and pretty soon we are leaning against each other for support, slapping our knees.

This must have been the scene that greets Alice and Edward as the Volvo comes up the driveway. Instantly, my laughter disappears at the sight of him. I can see him through the windshield and I know him well enough to catch the flash of hurt across his face before his expression hardens to anger. He gets out of his car without a word and passes us without a second glance.

"What?" Alice puts her hands on hips, standing in front of us. "You guys had a party without me?"

I don't answer her. I collapse onto the porch.

"Bella," comes Esme overly-concerned voice and suddenly three pairs of hands are on my back.

I shake them off and bring my knees up to my chest. "Just go inside," I whisper, and thankfully, after moments of hesitation, they do.

I bury my head into my knees and bite my lip to keep the sobs at bay. All it took was the sight of him, still angry and hurt, to wipe away any small trace of happiness I had felt.

What if he never spoke to me again? What if he stayed angry forever? And what did I even do to make him so angry?

He said that I was just kissing him for distraction, which is ridiculous. I kiss him because I love him, plain and simple. Even if I didn't have blood-training I would still want to kiss him for as long as I could. Does he not feel the same way? Does he not like how much we kiss?

And I mean, I do kiss him after blood-training lessons because I need something to divert my attention from the hunger, but that's not the _only _reason. Sure his delectable lips offer the best kind of distraction because every time they come in contact with mine, my every thought, my every worry is wiped away and all I can concentrate on is how his lips move against mine and that small ball of pleasure that starts in the pit of my stomach and spreads throughout my whole body.

Is that so bad?

Is it completely terrible that I love kissing him so much that it leaves me dizzy and breathless and so full of happiness?

And is it awful that after a horrible blood-training lesson, the one thing I need more than anything is _not_ to talk about it, but to be caressed and loved and feel worthy, not pathetic and useless like I would normally feel?

And is it my fault that after denying my hunger, the other hunger, the hunger for my mate, strengthens?

Does he want me deny both hungers?

Could I?

For him, anything. I would do _anything _for him.

Why can't he see that?

To say that he's nothing more to me than a distraction is blasphemy. How can he doubt me so much?

And it's not like he gave any inclination that he didn't want to kiss me. He's always been more than willing. If he wanted to talk, I would have _loved _to talk.

_Not true_, a voice in my head whispers, showing me flashbacks from the past few months.

Edward asking me about my day, and me just saying fine, not asking him the same.

Edward asking me about blood-training and me changing the subject to something lighter, like the weather.

The calls I never made, the texts I never sent.

But that's not my fault! _He_'s the one that doesn't text or call. I'm just letting him focus on his studies. Trust me, the phone is by my side all day. I miss him so much when he's at school; there's nothing more I'd like than to communicate with him when he's away. And I don't like to talk about blood-training. It's nothing against him, I just don't want to talk about.

My breath catches. _I don't want to talk about it. _How many times have I said that these past few weeks? Hell, I've said it at least five times the past twenty-four hours. How has that made Edward feel? Trying to reach out to me, and I just shut him out every time.

Oh my god.

This whole time I've been waiting for Edward to come me, to apologize, to say that he was just having a bad day. But…what if it's _me_ that has to apologize? I mean, from Edward's point of view, he has a girlfriend that refuses to talk about her deepest problems and who seems to just want to kiss him. _But he's got it all wrong._ That's not what's going on at all. I have to tell him. I have to let him know that I love him, that I haven't opened up about how hard blood-training has been because I can't stand the sight of his face filling with disappointment, that I don't call or text because I'm waiting for him to do it, that I fight with Jasper instead of talking with him because I need a way to release my anger and shame. Once he knows, once he understands, he won't be angry with me anymore.

Excited, I sprint inside, up the stairs, and stop at Edward's closed door. Edward's _closed _door. I can't remember the last the time it's been closed with me on the outside. Not knowing what to do—do I knock, just go in, what?—I stand there dumbly for a minute. Finally, I square my shoulders and just open the door. I step in and settle my eyes on Edward who is lying on his couch with a book in his hand. The sight of him sends a pang of hurt through me. Usually we would lie together on his couch, legs intertwined, and books in our hands. Sometimes I would read and he would stare at me, making me self-conscious enough that I would tell him to stop looking and start reading. Or sometimes when he was done with reading and I wasn't, he would kiss and suck on my neck despite my protests until I finally gave in, put down my book next to his, and threw my arms around him, not letting him come up for breath until hours later.

Staring at him now as he continues reading, not even sparing me a glance, makes me miss him so much that my heart literally aches. I wish I could crawl into the couch with him. I wish that he would smile and pull me close like he always does instead of pulling away like he is now.

"Edward," I whisper, walking closer to the couch. "Edward," I say louder, thinking that he didn't hear me, but of course he did, he just doesn't want to answer. "Edward," my voice breaks this time. "I-I miss you," I whisper.

He sucks in a breath and finally sits up. "You miss me?" He says skeptically, his voice full of cynical doubt as he stands up. I nod hurriedly. "It sure didn't look like that when I came home."

I think back to Rose, Esme, and I laughing like crazy, and the flash of hurt across his face as he drove up. Now his face is impassive, indifferent, like he's already bored with the conversation. "Oh…that, that wasn't anything. We were just being…silly."

"Silly?" He repeats, shaking his head. "You know what? It doesn't even matter now. I'm outta here." He starts toward the door.

"That's it?" I say incredulously. "You…you don't want to talk about it?"

He turns slowly around to face me. "Oh, now you want to talk? Well, sorry, but I don't." And with that, he leaves and I'm left feeling like he probably has for the past months—confused, lonely, and hurt.

oOo

For the next ten hours, Edward stays in his room, and I stay in mine. The Cullens periodically knock on each of our doors to try to get us to come out, but we always turn them away. When Edward leaves for school with Alice, he doesn't say goodbye and neither do I. While he's away, Rose, Esme, Emmett, and Jasper all try to convince me to leave my room with promises of more movies and games, but I refuse them. I wallow in my grief, constantly going over my actions these past months, realizing more and more what a terrible girlfriend I've been. By the time Edward and Alice come home, I hate myself, thinking that it's best that Edward ignores me. I deserve it for the way I've been treating him.

And it is at my lowest point that Jasper knocks on my door, telling me that it's time for another blood-training session.

oOo

It's too much, it's too much. I can't do it, I can't. I stop fighting, curl up in a ball, and start sobbing. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle immediately stop restraining me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Carlisle's bewildered voice asks.

"Everything!" I cry.

"What do we do?" Emmett asks, panicked. Trust a crying, teenaged girl to completely dumbfound three century-old men.

"I don't know. She's not trying to go for the blood…should we end the session? She's obviously unstable right now," Carlisle reasons.

"Yeah," Jasper agrees. "Em, get the bag and take it home. While you're there, get Edward."

At the sound of his name, I start sobbing harder. Emmett rushes to do as he is told and for the next few minutes Jasper and Carlisle awkwardly try to comfort me, but I can't stop crying.

"Bella, Bella, tell us what's wrong," Carlisle coaxes.

"What's wrong?" I sniffle. "What's wrong? I'm so weak that I can't even resist a stupid, goddamn bag of blood. And Edward…Edward _hates_ me." I moan in pain. "Oh god, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me."

"No," an astonished voice whispers from behind me. I would know that voice anywhere. I roll to my other side to face him, his face full of pain. "Oh, Bella, my Bella," he rushes to me and takes me into his arms. I struggle to get as close to him as I physically can, but even that's not enough. "I don't hate you, love. I don't. I can't."

I let out another dry-sob against his chest and he whimpers in response, as if my pain is his. "You should, you should hate me."

"Oh, Bella, don't you know?" He takes my head into his hands, forcing me to look into his tormented, topaz eyes. "I was made to love you, not hate, never hate."

I dig my head into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I repeat over and over.

Edward rubs circles on the small of my back, peppers kisses on my checks as if he's kissing away my tears, and for every sorry I utter, he tells me that he loves me, as if this fact negates any apology due on my part.

When I finally calm down enough, he moves his head so that we can look at each other. I rub my eyes and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry," I finally say.

He smiles sadly. "That's what you keep saying."

"This time it's for breaking down like that. The blood-training…it always messes my mind and puts my emotions out of wrack. Well, you know…" But then I trail off as we both think the same thing—that no, he doesn't know, he couldn't possibly know because I've never told him before. I take another deep breath and lace our fingers together. Then I say the words I know he's been dying to hear for far too long, "Let's talk."

* * *

**There you go! Next chapter is of course the talk and maybe Rose and Em leaving for their trip. **

**And I've decided to just update after I finish writing a chapter, so I'll update as soon as I can. Until then, review please :)**

**Wish me luck on the SAT!**

**Thanks For Reading!**

**Review for a sneak preview!**

**Until Next Time,  
Valerie **


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